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  • sel254
    sel254 Posts: 273 Member
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    Are you sure that this guy is aware that your friend is only 15? If he knows her age, report him straightaway. BUT, if your friend looks older than 15 and there's any possibility that he's currently unaware of her age, then I'd talk to him and give him the chance to put it right and end things. At the end of the day, if she's 15 but looks 18 and he thinks she's "legal", it would be unfair to subject him to the shame of being listed on the sex offenders register. If he knows she's still a minor, then there's no excuse and he definitely needs to be reported!
  • Guisma
    Guisma Posts: 215
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    ah , sorry i thought it was a male adult with a 27 year old friend that asked that question

    U should see this movie Trust from 2010

    And if u know the name of the guy u can make an anonymous call , if that will make u more confortable
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
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    I wasn't even comfortable when my 14 year old best friend was dating a 19 year old online.

    The law aside, exactly what does it say about the guy if he's dating/having sex with a girl that young? There's not only an age gap but a relation gap meaning he's in another generation, was raised in another generation, and there's little beyond music or movies/TV that they could have in common especially at HER age when that's just about all that matters to get together with someone. He may not be a pedophile or whatever term they use for teenagers in that stead but he's probably not well integrated into the world of his own peers which, eventually, would not bode well for them being together. Speculating only, if he's with her because he can't fit in with his own generation's females at the age he's at now, what's going to happen when this girl gets older and becomes one of those girls? It's potential for disaster, really.

    It's not uncommon for teenage girls to want older guys whether for the forbidden aspect or the thought that they're smarter than the guys their own age. If he knows her age and still comes around, there needs to be intervention. Chances are she has little to no clue about STIs, birth control, or anything else related and she could easily come away with either a disease or a baby. And no matter how "in love" they are, I can guarantee a baby would have his number suddenly changed and his time occupied by other things. Again if he's so eager to be with someone that inexperienced and immature chances are he's not much better himself and the thought of raising a kid would be too much for his brain to comprehend.
  • fatchiick
    fatchiick Posts: 105
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    no one would be ruining his life but himself...... he has the power to say no to a 15 yr old, no matter how "hot" she thinks he is. taking advantage of a child no matter how rebellious they are is still wrong and currently illegal. when you break the law you are at risk of being caught and paying the penalty that goes with it. everyone is accountable for their own actions whether you think it is fair or not, the law is still the law and should be followed until the law is changed, i.e. underage drinking, smoking pot, 27 yr old's having sex with children (and yes 15 yr old is a child), etc... we may not agree with all the laws but they are still the law and we have the choice to follow the law or break the law, but if we get caught breaking the law we have no one to blame but ourselves, PERIOD.

    That's a crock.. you are ruining his life.. trust me the cops, the parents, the girl, the guy don't have a problem... you want to go down and demand he be arrested for something you're not invovled in and just because its the law.. in a lot of states anal sex is agaisnt the law does that mean you're gonna tell everyone to go to the cops and tell them its against the.law so put them.on the sex offenders list LMAO... threads like these irk me cause I was a 15 in the mid 90s and I Had NO CLUE kids were so bad... and I'm from a small town in california... just about everyone I knew was drinking, smoking, having sex, etc I've been in the depts of the wild 15 year the sad thing many of them were younger.. and just wow...trust me they are not children age wise, but maturity wise most of them were older then.than I am now... I have still never had more than a sip pf alcohol call me a prude... but yikes children I think not...
  • fatchiick
    fatchiick Posts: 105
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    ooop
  • LiftBigtoGetFit
    LiftBigtoGetFit Posts: 3,399 Member
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    no one would be ruining his life but himself...... he has the power to say no to a 15 yr old, no matter how "hot" she thinks he is. taking advantage of a child no matter how rebellious they are is still wrong and currently illegal. when you break the law you are at risk of being caught and paying the penalty that goes with it. everyone is accountable for their own actions whether you think it is fair or not, the law is still the law and should be followed until the law is changed, i.e. underage drinking, smoking pot, 27 yr old's having sex with children (and yes 15 yr old is a child), etc... we may not agree with all the laws but they are still the law and we have the choice to follow the law or break the law, but if we get caught breaking the law we have no one to blame but ourselves, PERIOD.

    That's a crock.. you are ruining his life.. trust me the cops, the parents, the girl, the guy don't have a problem... you want to go down and demand he be arrested for something you're not invovled in and just because its the law.. in a lot of states anal sex is agaisnt the law does that mean you're gonna tell everyone to go to the cops and tell them its against the.law so put them.on the sex offenders list LMAO... threads like these irk me cause I was a 15 in the mid 90s and I Had NO CLUE kids were so bad... and I'm from a small town in california... just about everyone I knew was drinking, smoking, having sex, etc I've been in the depts of the wild 15 year the sad thing many of them were younger.. and just wow...trust me they are not children age wise, but maturity wise most of them were older then.than I am now... I have still never had more than a sip pf alcohol call me a prude... but yikes children I think not...

    I guess if I got caught in the act of anal or any other crime then yes I would have to face up to my crimes..... no one wants to stand up and accept responsibility for their actions, it's always someone else fault. I call BS he knows what he is doing is wrong and he is doing it anyway. i say they should chop his d*ck off but I'm not in charge of penalties. if he is doing nothing wrong then he will have no problem when he is arrested and taken to court for RAPING and CHILD. innocent or not she is a CHILD and he is an ADULT and the ADULT should know better no matter the situation.
  • LiftBigtoGetFit
    LiftBigtoGetFit Posts: 3,399 Member
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    timremlinger 15 years old , not an innocent child ? Having sex or wear provocative clotles, doing drugs , doesnt make a kid more or less inocent Its just wrong, even if she agrees , even if she is the one that wants it, its the adults that should have some more thinking abilitys

    Dont keep him as a " best friend " when u have childreen of your own ...

    not sure the question here, I said 15 year old is a child. I never said she was innocent in all of this. it doesn't matter how innocent she is though, she is a CHILD and he is and ADULT taking advantage and RAPING a CHILD. her innocence is not important, he should no better. besides in what situation is a 27 yr old guy ever meeting a 15 yr old enough to start dating and RAPING her unless he is out praying on CHILDREN.
  • fatchiick
    fatchiick Posts: 105
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    I guess if I got caught in the act of anal or any other crime then yes I would have to face up to my crimes..... no one wants to stand up and accept responsibility for their actions, it's always someone else fault. I call BS he knows what he is doing is wrong and he is doing it anyway. i say they should chop his d*ck off but I'm not in charge of penalties. if he is doing nothing wrong then he will have no problem when he is arrested and taken to court for RAPING and CHILD. innocent or not she is a CHILD and he is an ADULT and the ADULT should know better no matter the situation.

    I for one do think its wong for a 27 year old to have sex with a 15 year old no matter how big of a slut she is.... I do believe if he goes to jail its his fault... but I don't believe the "crime" of which he was charged and the sentencing he'd receive would be appropriate for his behavior... his crime is only having sex with a willing party that the law says isn't the right age... its by default... she is only a child by age and everything else she is probably more mature than many adults... his maturity level is obviously lacking, if he's having sex witb a 15 year, could he be considered menatally immature and ill... because of his age? surely a 27 yr old should know better.. something must be wrong with him... lmao smh I find the technicality age thing ridiculous.

    All these burn him at the stake people are just bizarre to me.... like I've said I've not only been 15 but in the.midst of them and they are a scary thing. I will never stand for a law I don't believe in. the ones who say its the law so its right are very misguided.. we as people change the laws we don't follow them idley...I'm not saying this is a law that needs to be changed I'm just sayin I can recongnize when a law doesnt fully apply except on a technicality and.I'm not afraid to express that.

    All I'm saying is if someone asked me to vote.. Do you think this wild sex and drug crazed teen and this 20 something year old dude who made a very poor judgment call and decided to sleep with her... would I vote to put him on a sexual.predator list and in jail NO.
  • dayone987
    dayone987 Posts: 645 Member
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    Are you sure that this guy is aware that your friend is only 15? If he knows her age, report him straightaway. BUT, if your friend looks older than 15 and there's any possibility that he's currently unaware of her age, then I'd talk to him and give him the chance to put it right and end things. At the end of the day, if she's 15 but looks 18 and he thinks she's "legal", it would be unfair to subject him to the shame of being listed on the sex offenders register. If he knows she's still a minor, then there's no excuse and he definitely needs to be reported!

    My guess would be that of course he would deny that he knew she was only 15 and convince you not to report him. And then move on to his next victim. Don't underestimate the ability of a pedophile to manipulate and coerce.
  • sel254
    sel254 Posts: 273 Member
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    Are you sure that this guy is aware that your friend is only 15? If he knows her age, report him straightaway. BUT, if your friend looks older than 15 and there's any possibility that he's currently unaware of her age, then I'd talk to him and give him the chance to put it right and end things. At the end of the day, if she's 15 but looks 18 and he thinks she's "legal", it would be unfair to subject him to the shame of being listed on the sex offenders register. If he knows she's still a minor, then there's no excuse and he definitely needs to be reported!

    My guess would be that of course he would deny that he knew she was only 15 and convince you not to report him. And then move on to his next victim. Don't underestimate the ability of a pedophile to manipulate and coerce.

    Surely the 15 year old in question could also confirm what she's told him right? It wouldn't be the first or last time that an underage girl would have lied about her age. Neither do we live in a world where 15 year olds are innocent or naive anymore. The OP already stated that this girl smokes and does drugs. When I was in the army one of my colleagues met a girl in a club who looked 20+, had a fake ID saying she was 23 and ALL of us believed her. She admitted her real age was 16 after a couple of weeks. Yes, she was legal here in the UK but had he met her 6 months earlier, she'd have been 15 and he would have been in this situation by no fault of his own. As I said in my original post, he should definitely be reported if he's aware of the situation but all the facts should be gathered first, before his life is ruined by this 15 year old.
  • paint_it_black
    paint_it_black Posts: 208 Member
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    Are you sure that this guy is aware that your friend is only 15? If he knows her age, report him straightaway. BUT, if your friend looks older than 15 and there's any possibility that he's currently unaware of her age, then I'd talk to him and give him the chance to put it right and end things. At the end of the day, if she's 15 but looks 18 and he thinks she's "legal", it would be unfair to subject him to the shame of being listed on the sex offenders register. If he knows she's still a minor, then there's no excuse and he definitely needs to be reported!

    My guess would be that of course he would deny that he knew she was only 15 and convince you not to report him. And then move on to his next victim. Don't underestimate the ability of a pedophile to manipulate and coerce.

    Surely the 15 year old in question could also confirm what she's told him right? It wouldn't be the first or last time that an underage girl would have lied about her age. Neither do we live in a world where 15 year olds are innocent or naive anymore. The OP already stated that this girl smokes and does drugs. When I was in the army one of my colleagues met a girl in a club who looked 20+, had a fake ID saying she was 23 and ALL of us believed her. She admitted her real age was 16 after a couple of weeks. Yes, she was legal here in the UK but had he met her 6 months earlier, she'd have been 15 and he would have been in this situation by no fault of his own. As I said in my original post, he should definitely be reported if he's aware of the situation but all the facts should be gathered first, before his life is ruined by this 15 year old.

    THIS, I lied about my age all through my teens and went out with fake id from Age 14 and easily passed for a 19 year old. If this guy thinks he's dating someone older then he's a victim, if he knows she's only 15 then he deserves any consequences that arise from this little liaison.
  • NocturnalGirl
    NocturnalGirl Posts: 1,762
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    Totally wrong, she isn't in the right state of mind and I'm pretty sure the 27 year old knows what he wants... tell someone, a parent or cop ASAP!
  • estitom
    estitom Posts: 205 Member
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    I was gonna say "whatever?" but then realised it's illegal in USA to have sex with someone who's under 18. The legal age in Sweden, where I live, is 15. I guess I would think of it as an odd and a bad choice though, 12 years is a a lot when you're that young. 20 and 32 isn't as strange, you're much much more mature when you're 20.

    Do what feels right. All circumstances are different.
  • dayone987
    dayone987 Posts: 645 Member
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    Are you sure that this guy is aware that your friend is only 15? If he knows her age, report him straightaway. BUT, if your friend looks older than 15 and there's any possibility that he's currently unaware of her age, then I'd talk to him and give him the chance to put it right and end things. At the end of the day, if she's 15 but looks 18 and he thinks she's "legal", it would be unfair to subject him to the shame of being listed on the sex offenders register. If he knows she's still a minor, then there's no excuse and he definitely needs to be reported!

    My guess would be that of course he would deny that he knew she was only 15 and convince you not to report him. And then move on to his next victim. Don't underestimate the ability of a pedophile to manipulate and coerce.

    Surely the 15 year old in question could also confirm what she's told him right? It wouldn't be the first or last time that an underage girl would have lied about her age. Neither do we live in a world where 15 year olds are innocent or naive anymore. The OP already stated that this girl smokes and does drugs. When I was in the army one of my colleagues met a girl in a club who looked 20+, had a fake ID saying she was 23 and ALL of us believed her. She admitted her real age was 16 after a couple of weeks. Yes, she was legal here in the UK but had he met her 6 months earlier, she'd have been 15 and he would have been in this situation by no fault of his own. As I said in my original post, he should definitely be reported if he's aware of the situation but all the facts should be gathered first, before his life is ruined by this 15 year old.

    THIS, I lied about my age all through my teens and went out with fake id from Age 14 and easily passed for a 19 year old. If this guy thinks he's dating someone older then he's a victim, if he knows she's only 15 then he deserves any consequences that arise from this little liaison.

    The problem is even if he does know he would never admit it. Yes you can ask the 15 year old but she may lie to protect him. Paedophiles are very good at convincing their victims that somehow it's their (the victim's) fault.
  • LiftBigtoGetFit
    LiftBigtoGetFit Posts: 3,399 Member
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    Are you sure that this guy is aware that your friend is only 15? If he knows her age, report him straightaway. BUT, if your friend looks older than 15 and there's any possibility that he's currently unaware of her age, then I'd talk to him and give him the chance to put it right and end things. At the end of the day, if she's 15 but looks 18 and he thinks she's "legal", it would be unfair to subject him to the shame of being listed on the sex offenders register. If he knows she's still a minor, then there's no excuse and he definitely needs to be reported!

    My guess would be that of course he would deny that he knew she was only 15 and convince you not to report him. And then move on to his next victim. Don't underestimate the ability of a pedophile to manipulate and coerce.

    Surely the 15 year old in question could also confirm what she's told him right? It wouldn't be the first or last time that an underage girl would have lied about her age. Neither do we live in a world where 15 year olds are innocent or naive anymore. The OP already stated that this girl smokes and does drugs. When I was in the army one of my colleagues met a girl in a club who looked 20+, had a fake ID saying she was 23 and ALL of us believed her. She admitted her real age was 16 after a couple of weeks. Yes, she was legal here in the UK but had he met her 6 months earlier, she'd have been 15 and he would have been in this situation by no fault of his own. As I said in my original post, he should definitely be reported if he's aware of the situation but all the facts should be gathered first, before his life is ruined by this 15 year old.

    THIS, I lied about my age all through my teens and went out with fake id from Age 14 and easily passed for a 19 year old. If this guy thinks he's dating someone older then he's a victim, if he knows she's only 15 then he deserves any consequences that arise from this little liaison.

    The problem is even if he does know he would never admit it. Yes you can ask the 15 year old but she may lie to protect him. Paedophiles are very good at convincing their victims that somehow it's their (the victim's) fault.

    not knowing is not a defense, just like if i was going 55 mph and didn't see the 35 mph sign I would still get a big ticket. ignorance is not a defense. besides, if they are "dating" i don't see how he wouldn't know, hmm she can't drive, all her friends can't drive, she disappears for 8 hours every day and brings home school books from 10th grade, He would have to literally be retarded to not be able to figure it out if they are "dating". a one night hook up at a bar with a chick, ya that could be an oops because she shouldn't be in there unless she is of age, but dating a person you would know.
  • Altarian
    Altarian Posts: 230 Member
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    In most states in the US the age of consent it 16 and statutory rape is if the age difference is more then three years or if the youngest person is below 16.