Why so much hate....
Replies
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I haven't seen these topics that you speak of, and I personally don't "hate" on skinny women. I have lots of skinny friends...haha! (thinking something very un-PC to myself)
Anywho, I think that, in this day and age, lots of women are struggling with the idea of self acceptance. We are just coming into a time where catalogs even advertise "plus size" clothing that doesn't look like your grandmother should be wearing it...and let's not even get started with "plus size" models who are sized 8/10.
Plus size women (and men) have been dealing with feeling "less than" for a long time and now a new era has opened up where it is "acceptable" to be plus size because most of the population is either plus sized or on the brink of tipping the plus scale. And those who aren't tipping the scale are still clogging their arteries and experiencing the health concerns typically reserved for the morbidly obese (note the term "skinny fat").
We are all bigger, wider, fatter, and taller than our ancestors and we are finally starting to turn the evolution into a revolution.
Anywho, I don't take being proud to be a fluffy gal or guy (as my blog is entitled - "Fluffly Gal Fab") as "hating" on the skinny peeps (or "Inner Fluffies").
So, I say, embrace your skinny, just as I embrace my fluffy. And lets all work on being Fit and Fabulous (not to be confused with "flabulous") together!0 -
I must be avoiding those types of topics as I've not seen any. I have however, seen several topics of people complaining about the those topics.
Ooooh errr...
Pretty much.
I kinda think it's so they can get an ego stroke. No offense, just an opinion. :flowerforyou:
No, it's not. It happens in nearly every single thread talking about any sort of weight. Eventually it goes to bash skinny girls, and then the skinny girls retaliate. It's super pathetic.0 -
There will always be a woman who comes along who is sexier, smarter, funnier, etc. Most women are insecure (I'm not saying "all" so put your claws away) and when someone comes along with an attribute we may lack in or feel we don't measure up with, putting the other woman down and pointing out some kind of flaw may help us feel better about ourselves. Women always feel the need to compete with one another. I'm just generalizing, not speaking for all. Just my $.02.
I don't do that, I just envy quietly and push myself harder. lol0 -
Quit whining, thin women are the privileged group.
You're the ones in magazines, you're the ones who can fit into clothes, and if a couple people are prejudiced against you, it's nothing compared to the hate that big women get.
EDIT: to clear up, I don't mean to be a *****. I actually am skinny, and wear a size 12 because I'm really tall, and that's life.
I just get annoyed when women say, "oh, I'm too skinny, everyone hates me!"
it's sort of like when white people say, "Oh, they hate me cause I'm white!"
You guys are the privileged group, you don't get called fat pigs or the N word, the prejudice you face is miniscule compared to that of the non privileged groups. See what I mean?
That's not to say that it's acceptable to hate on you because really it doesn't matter all that much what your body looks like, we're all more than that.
I don't see many posts where OP's are saying "oh, I'm so skinny, everyone hates me, I think I'll go cry..." I've been THAT girl whose been told to go eat a cheeseburger or that I needed to be force-fed sammiches or that I appeared to be on drugs (of which never happened). Its JUST as hurtful and wrong as someone telling a bigger person to lose weight. How are we to know what stage of fitness someone else is in? When I was being told all those hurtful disgusting things, I was actually actively TRYING to gain weight. But, did that matter? No. But, it sure was ok to bash the small girl, right? No. Bashing anyone's size is wrong. Period. There is NO excuse that will EVER change that. Ever.
<
Wow you are a class act! I would and am about to go h a m. I have been a size 2 and a size 12 but I am not about to rake a fork down my face b/c someone wants me to be unfortunate looking in anyway. I would never wish that upon anyone and I hope (but know ti's not likely) that others don't wish the same for me. I think this thread is disturbing and causing wayyyy too much drama. Why don't we all focus on our goals and stop taking each other's inventory?
Pretty simple.
I'M a class act? Because I gave a real life example of a smaller person getting bashed explaining that is why no one deserves to be bashed? Maybe the person I quoted, but DEFINITELY not me. You may want to re-read that. I didn't bash anyone and would not.0 -
I am 5'11" and have been from a size 4 to a 28. I don't bash or belittle anyone for wanting to achieve whatever size or goal weight. I have 112 pounds to shed and I have not EVER been discriminated against. I believe my personality and character is what makes me shine, not my weight. I applaud and congratulate those of you for setting goals and to those who are carrying them out.0
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I don't get it either. Being somebody who wants to be a size 10 or 8 (tentative goal), I have never told somebody that their goal size was "too small." People look good at different weights. I have a friend who is naturally 84 lbs, and she looks great. I'm built differently from her (I have wider hips, broader shoulders and about 4 inches taller than her), so I already know I wouldn't look good at that weight. Nor would she look good at my goal weight.
There are women with unrealistic goals though who really don't look good being as small as they're trying to get... distorted body image? People still shouldn't put them down however.0 -
Oh my gosh, everyone keeps telling me how awesome I am! Why do they think that? I’m not fishing for compliments, just asking a question!!!
I like when people start these threads and "aren't complaining, only asking a question to find out the motivation." Silly, silly, silly. I too have seen these posts complaining about people complaining about the bashing posts... Yet to see a post bashing anyone except for these ones apparently bashing bigger girls because they are so mean to thin girls!
If you really want to determine the motivation why not contact the people privately doing the bashing? See if you can strike a one on one conversation where they will not fear others comments and can give you the reason behind their commends? If not, forget about them, why do you care?0 -
I sincerely apologize if I'm making someone mad by "beating at a dead horse". Its the same as the "I like big girls" threads or the "big booty" threads...Its like here we go again....
I'm not whining about anyone hating on ME, I'm just asking why anyone would go out of there way to make a smaller person feel bad. That's it.
I've never bashed bigger women, not here not in real life.0 -
It ain't just against the ladies.
A really sad thing some of you are going to find out. MFP is an amazing site for support and encouragement as you struggle to reach your goals. Once you hit those goals however there's a target on your head and no shortage of people who want to tear you down. It comes from a small and petty group of people who feel no shame in making themselves feel better about where they're at by attacking those who have worked hard to achieve what they're after.
This. 100% this.
Em, from one of your posts is where I learned this. I was just a few weeks in on MFP when all that crap happened. I was shocked and I still don't understand the treatment of thin women. I've been overweight my entire life and wasn't aware of the ugliness towards a fit woman. You're beautiful and any woman who has reached her healthy goal should be congratulated, not judged. I'm not saying it's okay to be ugly towards fat people, but I understand how that could elicit a negative response from people. A thin woman? I don't get it.0 -
Oh my gosh, everyone keeps telling me how awesome I am! Why do they think that? I’m not fishing for compliments, just asking a question!!!
I like when people start these threads and "aren't complaining, only asking a question to find out the motivation." Silly, silly, silly. I too have seen these posts complaining about people complaining about the bashing posts... Yet to see a post bashing anyone except for these ones apparently bashing bigger girls because they are so mean to thin girls!
If you really want to determine the motivation why not contact the people privately doing the bashing? See if you can strike a one on one conversation where they will not fear others comments and can give you the reason behind their commends? If not, forget about them, why do you care?
Actually, I've tried this when my success story got torn to pieces. Not one of those rude inconsiderate women responded.0 -
LOL too funny, I don't need my ego stroked nor am I fishing for compliments, I feel pretty damn good about myself :flowerforyou:0
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It ain't just against the ladies.
A really sad thing some of you are going to find out. MFP is an amazing site for support and encouragement as you struggle to reach your goals. Once you hit those goals however there's a target on your head and no shortage of people who want to tear you down. It comes from a small and petty group of people who feel no shame in making themselves feel better about where they're at by attacking those who have worked hard to achieve what they're after.
This. 100% this.
Em, from one of you posts is where I learned this. I was just a few weeks in on MFP when all that crap happened. I was shocked and I still don't understand the treatment of thin women. I've been overweight my entire life and wasn't aware of the ugliness towards a fit woman. You're beautiful and any woman who has reached her healthy goal should be congratulated, not judged. I'm not saying it's okay to be ugly towards fat people, but I understand how that could elicit a negative response from people. A thin woman? I don't get it.
Thank you for that. And I wholeheartedly agree. Regardless of what people's goal weights are, once they reach that it's crazy the amount of work was put into it. People should be congratulated, not put down. And that thread got soooo out of hand lol.0 -
I sincerely apologize if I'm making someone mad by "beating at a dead horse". Its the same as the "I like big girls" threads or the "big booty" threads...Its like here we go again....
I'm not whining about anyone hating on ME, I'm just asking why anyone would go out of there way to make a smaller person feel bad. That's it.
I've never bashed bigger women, not here not in real life.
I feel the same exact way you do and I believe we could post about ANYTHING and somehow, it will offend and piss off others. It was clearly not your intention. You point blank asked a question.0 -
Oh my gosh, everyone keeps telling me how awesome I am! Why do they think that? I’m not fishing for compliments, just asking a question!!!
I like when people start these threads and "aren't complaining, only asking a question to find out the motivation." Silly, silly, silly. I too have seen these posts complaining about people complaining about the bashing posts... Yet to see a post bashing anyone except for these ones apparently bashing bigger girls because they are so mean to thin girls!
If you really want to determine the motivation why not contact the people privately doing the bashing? See if you can strike a one on one conversation where they will not fear others comments and can give you the reason behind their commends? If not, forget about them, why do you care?
Actually, I've tried this when my success story got torn to pieces. Not one of those rude inconsiderate women responded.
You had a SUCCESS story! When I was a kid and started using the internet my parents had to teach me that anonymity breads spitefulness. Just the way it is. I grew a tough skin when it comes to what others say about me, especially online. NOBODY online can bring us down unless we let them, these are strangers. If they don’t have the convictions to stand behind what they say in PM it’s because they are scared and pathetic and most likely didn’t mean it in the first place. MFP is full of people trying to meet their goals and awesome SUCCESS stories like yours that motivate so many people. You may get some bashing, but your story is going to help so many others.0 -
There is hate for bigger women too.. in fact I've seen quite a few bio's on here calling over weight women a burden on society. It isn't just thinner women, some people will bring anyone down, skinny or fat. We are all here for better lifestyles, bottom line. Ignore ignorant trolls.0
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I haven't seen these topics that you speak of, and I personally don't "hate" on skinny women. I have lots of skinny friends...haha! (thinking something very un-PC to myself)
Anywho, I think that, in this day and age, lots of women are struggling with the idea of self acceptance. We are just coming into a time where catalogs even advertise "plus size" clothing that doesn't look like your grandmother should be wearing it...and let's not even get started with "plus size" models who are sized 8/10.
Plus size women (and men) have been dealing with feeling "less than" for a long time and now a new era has opened up where it is "acceptable" to be plus size because most of the population is either plus sized or on the brink of tipping the plus scale. And those who aren't tipping the scale are still clogging their arteries and experiencing the health concerns typically reserved for the morbidly obese (note the term "skinny fat").
We are all bigger, wider, fatter, and taller than our ancestors and we are finally starting to turn the evolution into a revolution.
Anywho, I don't take being proud to be a fluffy gal or guy (as my blog is entitled - "Fluffly Gal Fab") as "hating" on the skinny peeps (or "Inner Fluffies").
So, I say, embrace your skinny, just as I embrace my fluffy. And lets all work on being Fit and Fabulous (not to be confused with "flabulous") together!
Well said. I believe that I am blessed to be surrounded by people who are not so condemning towards others. I lead a small group of women and we all vary in shapes, sizes, ethnicities and we are more focused on encouraging one another than the size of the other person. I am doing something about my weight because I am tired of carrying around all this excess weight. I am 44 and perimopausal so the challenge becomes greater, but I am embracing who I am and making better choices to get where I need to be.0 -
I don't hate anyone for being a size 2, but it hurts when you tell me that I'm "gross" at a size 12. We're all just different, different heights, weights, sizes, shapes, and preferences but we're all beautiful and worthy of the love from people who accept us as we are because even at a size 6 model of perfection, we have flaws...maybe just not visible ones.
YES!0 -
In all honesty, I see large women that buzz around in those carts at Wal mart or Target, and sometimes think to myself that they wouldn't be like that if they'd walk. (says the girl who weighed 250...!!) But again, I keep it to myself, because it's the person that has to live with it, not me, so it's none of my business how they choose to live their life.0
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here we go again :laugh: :laugh:
^^ This....can't we all just get along. :laugh:0 -
kanonxbou47 burned 8 calories "backpedaling"
I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read this, or I would have snorted it through my nose. :flowerforyou:0 -
Quit whining, thin women are the privileged group.
You're the ones in magazines, you're the ones who can fit into clothes, and if a couple people are prejudiced against you, it's nothing compared to the hate that big women get.
EDIT: to clear up, I don't mean to be a *****. I actually am skinny, and wear a size 12 because I'm really tall, and that's life.
I just get annoyed when women say, "oh, I'm too skinny, everyone hates me!"
it's sort of like when white people say, "Oh, they hate me cause I'm white!"
You guys are the privileged group, you don't get called fat pigs or the N word, the prejudice you face is miniscule compared to that of the non privileged groups. See what I mean?
That's not to say that it's acceptable to hate on you because really it doesn't matter all that much what your body looks like, we're all more than that.
I don't see many posts where OP's are saying "oh, I'm so skinny, everyone hates me, I think I'll go cry..." I've been THAT girl whose been told to go eat a cheeseburger or that I needed to be force-fed sammiches or that I appeared to be on drugs (of which never happened). Its JUST as hurtful and wrong as someone telling a bigger person to lose weight. How are we to know what stage of fitness someone else is in? When I was being told all those hurtful disgusting things, I was actually actively TRYING to gain weight. But, did that matter? No. But, it sure was ok to bash the small girl, right? No. Bashing anyone's size is wrong. Period. There is NO excuse that will EVER change that. Ever.
<
Wow you are a class act! I would and am about to go h a m. I have been a size 2 and a size 12 but I am not about to rake a fork down my face b/c someone wants me to be unfortunate looking in anyway. I would never wish that upon anyone and I hope (but know ti's not likely) that others don't wish the same for me. I think this thread is disturbing and causing wayyyy too much drama. Why don't we all focus on our goals and stop taking each other's inventory?
Pretty simple.
I'M a class act? Because I gave a real life example of a smaller person getting bashed explaining that is why no one deserves to be bashed? Maybe the person I quoted, but DEFINITELY not me. You may want to re-read that. I didn't bash anyone and would not.
You mistook what I wrote. I apologize, I was applauding you for how well you handled yourself. Nothing more or less. I think this is all ridiculous and we should be here to support each other and not tear each other down. No one, not matter what needs or deserved to get bashed. Ever.0 -
towards women that are thinner? Or women that don't want to be a size 14?
I mean, seriously, what is the whole issue with this? I am truly curious. There is thread after thread bashing smaller women, calling us "anorexic", "sticks", etc.
We're all here to better our health and lives, and to see such horrid threads is really sickening and hurtful.
Even better question is why those threads do not get taken down when threads like this one will surely be gone within a few hours.0 -
Quit whining, thin women are the privileged group.
You're the ones in magazines, you're the ones who can fit into clothes, and if a couple people are prejudiced against you, it's nothing compared to the hate that big women get.
EDIT: to clear up, I don't mean to be a *****. I actually am skinny, and wear a size 12 because I'm really tall, and that's life.
I just get annoyed when women say, "oh, I'm too skinny, everyone hates me!"
it's sort of like when white people say, "Oh, they hate me cause I'm white!"
You guys are the privileged group, you don't get called fat pigs or the N word, the prejudice you face is miniscule compared to that of the non privileged groups. See what I mean?
That's not to say that it's acceptable to hate on you because really it doesn't matter all that much what your body looks like, we're all more than that.
I don't see many posts where OP's are saying "oh, I'm so skinny, everyone hates me, I think I'll go cry..." I've been THAT girl whose been told to go eat a cheeseburger or that I needed to be force-fed sammiches or that I appeared to be on drugs (of which never happened). Its JUST as hurtful and wrong as someone telling a bigger person to lose weight. How are we to know what stage of fitness someone else is in? When I was being told all those hurtful disgusting things, I was actually actively TRYING to gain weight. But, did that matter? No. But, it sure was ok to bash the small girl, right? No. Bashing anyone's size is wrong. Period. There is NO excuse that will EVER change that. Ever.
<
Wow you are a class act! I would and am about to go h a m. I have been a size 2 and a size 12 but I am not about to rake a fork down my face b/c someone wants me to be unfortunate looking in anyway. I would never wish that upon anyone and I hope (but know ti's not likely) that others don't wish the same for me. I think this thread is disturbing and causing wayyyy too much drama. Why don't we all focus on our goals and stop taking each other's inventory?
Pretty simple.
I'M a class act? Because I gave a real life example of a smaller person getting bashed explaining that is why no one deserves to be bashed? Maybe the person I quoted, but DEFINITELY not me. You may want to re-read that. I didn't bash anyone and would not.
You mistook what I wrote. I apologize, I was applauding you for how well you handled yourself. Nothing more or less. I think this is all ridiculous and we should be here to support each other and not tear each other down. No one, not matter what needs or deserved to get bashed. Ever.
my apologies, I really thought you were offended, then I was like maybe it was for who I quoted... but, yes we should all support each other to get healthy, whatever size that may be for each individual. And, thank you. :bigsmile:0 -
I think the most part people mistake things like "I don't want to be a size 2, that's too small for me!" With "hate". Same things goes for people saying "I would never want to be that muscular" as an insult to muscular women. Or guys saying "I'd prefer skinny women" as insults to all non-skinny women. I see very few examples of true body bashing on this site, and when there is an example of it, the person gets called out very quickly by a lot of people.0
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hmmm. i haven't seen any threads about that at all. Maybe I"m looking in the wrong places.0
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Everybody judges...some people have more tact about it than others.
There's always going to be people putting you down. You can either let it get to you, or you can rise above it.
Of course if that fails, you can just give them a swift, firm kick in the **** (the word changes depending on the gender of your assailant).0 -
I think the most part people mistake things like "I don't want to be a size 2, that's too small for me!" With "hate". Same things goes for people saying "I would never want to be that muscular" as an insult to muscular women. Or guys saying "I'd prefer skinny women" as insults to all non-skinny women. I see very few examples of true body bashing on this site, and when there is an example of it, the person gets called out very quickly by a lot of people.
no, that's not at all confusing. It's when people say "ewww, gross!" or "dude looks like a MAN!" or things of that nature ALL too often. True, threads get pulled after reported, but it still does happen too often.0 -
Em, you handled yourself with grace and dignity. I would have gotten my own thread locked down from sending out death threats and giving just enough info to make them scared I actually knew where they lived.0
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i was once told I needed to eat a cheeseburger.
what's up with the cheeseburger???
I'm a vegetarian!
Why not a burrito? Or cheese pizza? Or a donut? Or chocolate cake? Those are all things I would eat!
Haha.
But wait, now that I think about it, when that was said to me, I thought she was telling me I was fat...like i must eat cheeseburgers all the time. I didn't get that this was the thing you say to "skinny" people.
And honestly, when I realized that was what she was saying?
IT MADE ME HAPPY.
They hate because they are jelly, I suppose. And who cares?0 -
Quit whining, thin women are the privileged group.
You're the ones in magazines, you're the ones who can fit into clothes, and if a couple people are prejudiced against you, it's nothing compared to the hate that big women get.
EDIT: to clear up, I don't mean to be a *****. I actually am skinny, and wear a size 12 because I'm really tall, and that's life.
I just get annoyed when women say, "oh, I'm too skinny, everyone hates me!"
it's sort of like when white people say, "Oh, they hate me cause I'm white!"
You guys are the privileged group, you don't get called fat pigs or the N word, the prejudice you face is miniscule compared to that of the non privileged groups. See what I mean?
That's not to say that it's acceptable to hate on you because really it doesn't matter all that much what your body looks like, we're all more than that.
I don't see many posts where OP's are saying "oh, I'm so skinny, everyone hates me, I think I'll go cry..." I've been THAT girl whose been told to go eat a cheeseburger or that I needed to be force-fed sammiches or that I appeared to be on drugs (of which never happened). Its JUST as hurtful and wrong as someone telling a bigger person to lose weight. How are we to know what stage of fitness someone else is in? When I was being told all those hurtful disgusting things, I was actually actively TRYING to gain weight. But, did that matter? No. But, it sure was ok to bash the small girl, right? No. Bashing anyone's size is wrong. Period. There is NO excuse that will EVER change that. Ever.
<
Wow you are a class act! I would and am about to go h a m. I have been a size 2 and a size 12 but I am not about to rake a fork down my face b/c someone wants me to be unfortunate looking in anyway. I would never wish that upon anyone and I hope (but know ti's not likely) that others don't wish the same for me. I think this thread is disturbing and causing wayyyy too much drama. Why don't we all focus on our goals and stop taking each other's inventory?
Pretty simple.
I'M a class act? Because I gave a real life example of a smaller person getting bashed explaining that is why no one deserves to be bashed? Maybe the person I quoted, but DEFINITELY not me. You may want to re-read that. I didn't bash anyone and would not.
You mistook what I wrote. I apologize, I was applauding you for how well you handled yourself. Nothing more or less. I think this is all ridiculous and we should be here to support each other and not tear each other down. No one, not matter what needs or deserved to get bashed. Ever.
my apologies, I really thought you were offended, then I was like maybe it was for who I quoted... but, yes we should all support each other to get healthy, whatever size that may be for each individual. And, thank you. :bigsmile:
My pleasure, glad we cleared that up! I agree! :flowerforyou:0
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