How do adults make friends?

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KellyKAG
KellyKAG Posts: 418
in Chit-Chat
My question is how can a socially awkward, sarcastic 36 year old woman who works in a office with a bunch of old ladies and stuffy lawyers meet new friends. I've put all of my efforts into work, marriage and kids for the last 13 years and now I'm ready to have a social life again. I have grown apart from old friends and really miss having those close girlfriends. Any suggestions?
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Replies

  • iwantahealthierme13
    iwantahealthierme13 Posts: 337 Member
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    Join groups, check out meetup.com for the different groups in your area, maybe.

    There's something there for almost every interest.
  • doorki
    doorki Posts: 2,611 Member
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    Take up a sport or join a gym.
  • Wonderwoman2677
    Wonderwoman2677 Posts: 434 Member
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    Wow, I'm 2 years younger than you, but other than that you just described me to a "T"! I've been signing up for social gatherings on websites like Meetup, but my husband is just as shy as I am so he never wants to go. I don't have any other ideas, so let me know when you find out ;)
  • LifeOnMars_
    LifeOnMars_ Posts: 755 Member
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    Ultimate frisbee team :)
  • bettyboop573
    bettyboop573 Posts: 610 Member
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    I am pretty active and into sports so that is where I have met lots of new people :)
  • FaugHorn
    FaugHorn Posts: 1,060 Member
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    I agree with going to www.meetups.com. You can find groups with common interests (age, occupation, location, hobby, etc.) which means you'll already have SOMETHING in common with the people when you show up. The first meetup is always wierd but after that it gets better :drinker:
  • ceannesjourney
    ceannesjourney Posts: 250
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    I had the same problem a few years who. I joined a purple of groups--knitting, and book club for example of things I like to do anyways. I also started going to a spiritual home--not quite a church--and found some like-minded friends there. Perhaps there are some mommy groups you could join ok??? Good luck!
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    bump 'cause I'm a SAP too......
  • Lindsay_1984
    Lindsay_1984 Posts: 85 Member
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    Join an adult sports league like volleyball or softball. I have made many friends through volleyball. I didn't know anyone at first so I had them put me on a team. I also started going to open gym nights at the local civic center and met people that way. If sports aren't your thing, try meetup.com because there are tons of groups for pretty much any interest. I am in a group that meets for hiking, bike rides, and walks.
  • MileyClimb
    MileyClimb Posts: 414 Member
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    I am a year older than you like you am ready to make new friends. be yourself! what hobbie or class would you be interested in taking? maybe go to clubs like a sewing club with other ladies that share the same interests as you do. talk about things you have in common etc.
  • winninga
    winninga Posts: 77 Member
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    I know exactly what you mean, and my husband never wants to go out. I work 50 miles away from home, so I feel out of the loop no matter where I'm at.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    A lot of folks don't realize but many others are in the similar situation. I thankfully am a bit gifted in this department and can make friends very easily but heres the scoop. Just start talking. You goto a coffee shop? start talking to the clerk or the waiter if they're not overly busy. Got neighbors, invite them over to watch a game and some pizza. Goto church? Start talking

    It always starts with just a hi and making observations of your surrounding that you can make a comment about. Like when I goto a gas station and some guy is being a jerk to the nice lady behind the counter (theres always some jerk trying to take advantage of somebodys good nature) you make a comment about it and a converstation.

    Hope some of these helped. Really its all about starting to talk

    Edit: Ever noticed how easy it is for kids to make friends? They just walk up to somebody and are like "Hey, lets play" and that is it. While not the exact same for adults but the rules for making friends never really changed. Most activity you do can be group activity
  • mjawesome
    mjawesome Posts: 61 Member
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    Ha! I typed in my city at meetup....the groups around me make me wonder if I should just stay SAP
  • moseler
    moseler Posts: 224 Member
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    I have made fabulous friends through my children and their sports. I have found many families that have similar interests, morals and values through sports. Get involved in your kids schools when possible, join the PTA, volunteer your time at Book Fairs and other school events. If you are religious, church is also a great place to meet friends through Bible Studies, Motherwise groups, etc. My family is my focus so making friends with the parents of their friends has helped keep me in the loop with my kids.

    If your kids don't like sports, get them involved in music, art, dance, gymnastics, something motivating for them. You'll find friends through your kids...
  • AllyBooMommyof2
    AllyBooMommyof2 Posts: 171
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    LMAO What a great question!!!!! I'm 26 and have a personality that I don't find many people (well any) that I really mesh well with. I am a good mom, like to spend a ton of time with my kids, I don't smoke or drink, and the only friends I have made always end up being people who I don't want to hang around for one reason or another... I'm socially akward I guess... lol...
  • GeneveSparkles
    GeneveSparkles Posts: 283 Member
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    I completely understand! I moved to a new state not knowing one person who lives here and everyone I work with are old farts. I basically met my closest friend here at the airport. We started chatting (she is much chattier than I am, I'm more of a leave me the hell alone type of person) but luckily she and I hit it off. Since then I've also met some people through her. I definitely think it's much harder to meet adult friends but it can be done! I'm working on being friendlier and chatting people up because you never know who you will hit it off with. It can be girls at the gym, a sales person you see often, a neighbor or even some random person at the airport.

    For anyone interested in making friends as adults I recommend the book "MWF seeks BFF' basically this women goes on 52 girl dates in a year to find friends.
  • Captain_Tightpants
    Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
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    Immerse yourself in a hobby that has a community built around it. Honestly there is nothing better.

    And, a general trend I've noticed, the more "eccentric" the hobby, the stronger and closer the community will hold you.

    Since my wife become the host for the local burlesque troupe we found ourselves embroiled in a weird world of glitter, costuming, lgbt support and theater, and we have never *ever* had friends this close and supportive before. They accept us for who we are, they inspire us, and they are all real, authentic people - human and open in their frailties and unbelievably giving and compassionate. We now have a network of at least fifty awesome people around us, with very little - if any - drama.

    I've had similar experiences with the juggling, fire spinning and hooping communities. All incredibly tight and accepting groups.

    I'm not sure you'd find the same support or community in a 'vanilla' hobby like a book club or in a more competitive one like a sport, but you might.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    Be crazy like me and talk to people everywhere! I swear, I used to be really introverted - to the point where even hanging out with friends would exhaust me after a few hours. It took some time but I slowly started coming out of my shell. I'd listen in to people's conversations and interject when I could (without being rude of course) and even come up to people in the hallway to compliment someone's shoes or hairstyle. There are lots of pleasant ways you can start a conversation with someone you think would be fun to hang out with. As much as it pains me to admit it (because I'm turning in to my crazy father) I'll even talk to people in the grocery store check out line from time to time.

    Sometimes it doesn't go anywhere but sometimes it can lead to a fun friendship.

    I like the idea of taking classes or joining up with groups too. There are so many options out there these days!
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
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    WELL-DESIGNED TRAP AND FRESH PEOPLE BAIT
  • Jain
    Jain Posts: 861 Member
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    A lot of folks don't realize but many others are in the similar situation. I thankfully am a bit gifted in this department and can make friends very easily but heres the scoop. Just start talking. You goto a coffee shop? start talking to the clerk or the waiter if they're not overly busy. Got neighbors, invite them over to watch a game and some pizza. Goto church? Start talking

    It always starts with just a hi and making observations of your surrounding that you can make a comment about. Like when I goto a gas station and some guy is being a jerk to the nice lady behind the counter (theres always some jerk trying to take advantage of somebodys good nature) you make a comment about it and a converstation.

    Hope some of these helped. Really its all about starting to talk

    Edit: Ever noticed how easy it is for kids to make friends? They just walk up to somebody and are like "Hey, lets play" and that is it. While not the exact same for adults but the rules for making friends never really changed. Most activity you do can be group activity

    Good advice.
    I'm actually quite a shy person, but have no problem starting a conversation with strangers. Made some good friends that way.

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