Anyone else have a mentally ill parent?

NicoleFigueroa88

I have a mentally ill mother ,and at times I'm scared of her because she says weird things that don't make sense. I know I'm not suppose to take her seriously, but I guess I haven't accepted the fact that she is mentally ill. The first time she was put in a mental hospital ,I was 12 and ever since then she has been a burden on me. I feel like I can no longer take care of her. At times I don't want to be with her she depresses me ,and I haven't eaten in days. I am 24 years old , and I am in my last semester of college and I feel like my mother is holding me back . I don't want to live with her anymore but I am not financially stable to live on my own. I feel so alone sometimes, I am an only child on my mother's side and I have nobody to talk to. If anybody has a mentally ill parent can you tell me how to cope.

Hearts_2015

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LisaLamb1

My Mom and my brother are both bi-polar. My brother was diagnosed first in 1996 after his 1st suicide attempt (that we knew of). The first few years after his initial diagnosis were horrible. He attempted suicide several times, he would do horrendous things like drink camping fuel to ensure that he would not live. There was never a note. He was in and out of the hospital several times a year. My brother is VERY smart, a hard worker, and probably this kindest person you will ever meet, but he couldn't hold down a job, couldn't complete any schooling he started. In 2001, my dad was out of town for work, my mom was in South Africa staying with a friend who was dying of cancer, and my brother and I had the house to ourselves. I woke up one night to some noise downstairs, I went down to discover that my brother had thrown up all over the place. I was furious, he just threw up and left me to clean it up? I went down to his room, turned on the lights and yelled - I woke him up telling him how selfish he was, that he needed to clean up his mess, etc. The thought never even crossed my mind that he had taken something, and that the reason he was so hard to wake was because he had poisoned himself. Once he was awake, I went back to bed. The next morning I got up and he had cleaned everything. A few weeks later I was looking for something, and I found a note crumpled up in his garbage can. It was a suicide note, date for that night he got sick. I felt so guilty for how I treated him - for yelling at him, for not asking if he was OK. He and I never spoke about this again.

When my mom returned from SA, her friend passed away 3 days later. That seemed to mark the starting point of her downward spiral, eventually she would stop working, and was diagnosed with bi-polar as well. I thought, great, this is my life, spending every waking moment worrying, wondering if and when they would take their lives. The next years were the worst of my life. They put my Mom (over several years) on SO much medication, enough to kill a horse. They just kept adding more, and more, and more medication. She completely disappeared. Everything she was, the wonderful person, kind and loving person, completely disappeared. She was a zombie. She started having uncontrollable tremors which caused her to frequently fall flat on her face - hitting pavement, smacking her head. I knew it was her medication, but no one would listen. She was so afraid to go off any of it because "what if I feel worse". Finally, in July of last year, she saw a neurologist, he did a brain scan, blood work and motor tests. He confirmed that she needed to get off the medicine she was on, because it was killing her. I cannot remember the term for it, but the amount of lithium she was on, was poisoning her. She had been on the highest does of Lithium that can be diagnosed, for 8 years, this along with the other 8 meds. She saw her psychologist 2 days later and they took her off all the meds, except 2 (1 pill in the am, one at night). 3 days later the tremors stopped, and her speech returned to normal (not the slurred mess we were used to.

My brother took himself off all of his meds 3 years ago (I DO NOT endorse anyone doing this without supervision from their doctors) because the side effects were so bad, they were making him want to not live. There have been some ups and downs in the 3 years, but he is doing well. He expresses his feelings now, lets us know when he is not feeling well. He has held down a job for 2 years (even being promoted to Manager!)

My Mom is at a stage where 10+ years of being numb is catching up with her. She has no coping skills because being heavily medicated she never dealt with anything. Her mom is dying of Alzheimers, and I am not sure where that will take her. She is very angry now, agitated and really hard to be around.

My husband and I moved further away last year, and it was a good decision, for me, and for my marriage. I have always heard the sayings "take care of yourself first" "love yourself", etc. But now, I am realizing if I am not healthy, if I am not strong, I can easily lose myself in their illnesses. I have done a lot of work on my mental health, dealing with my past, and I am now starting on my physical health. To everyone else on this thread, I wish you peace and serenity, and I am sorry for what you are going through. If anyone wants to add me, please feel free.

cosmicmrb

Hello. I am Matthew Bryant. I'm 35 years old and my mother was diagnosed with bipolar/paranoid schizophrenia around 1980. She is completely toxic. I (factually) know that when she dies I will be conflicted between elation and sorrow. It's pretty messed up. She was a bit sexually abusive for the first 8-10 years of my life. My father protected my sister from the situation as much as he could, but left me to be with her most of the time. He had told me he "didn't want me", "wish you had been aborted" as early as age 4. I have a unique capacity for early memory, and I confronted him with these facts in my 20's, but since he was a "victim" of my mother, he was constantly drunk so it "doesn't count". But I digress...I do know what it's like. I'm a man, in pretty good shape, an avid surfer, fairly attractive, or at the least, not at all ugly, but I feel so worthless I could not possibly approach women. My life is at least half over, and I called her a "**** *kitten*" so loudly today and so many times in the busy Wal-Mart parking lot that she decided to let me live the rest of my life without her. My sister disowned her about 5 or 6 years ago, and my father cut off all contact with her about 10 years ago. Jane's (my mother) family disowned her many many years ago...sometime right after I was born. I love her. She's my mother. I wish for her to die more than anything. She's my mother. I could not possibly relate to anyone I know, nor could they understand me. You are not alone. She is the complete opposite of reason. She is pure despair. She is the reason I am so easily targeted at the various jobs I've had by bullies, and the reason why school was always the same way. She will walk by complete strangers who will mock her appearance and awkward gait and I feel compelled to fight them...to "protect her honor" etc etc. There is no possible way for there to be any kind of benevolent omniscience, god or otherwise. She is pure reality in a world where everyone needs a little escape from the "normal" drudgery of life. She is sick. I could write several books on the subject. This lengthy reply doesn't begin to begin to scratch the surface of the horrible truth. (i meant begin to begin) You are not alone. There are a few people out there. I am so sad. I cry in public. I am highly intelligent, highly motivated, and yet crippled by the pressure of a society that doesn't understand...that would condemn me for wanting my own mother to die. It is simply her or me....I choose me.

LifeNotEasy

Guys I feel the grief of everyone and each of you , I will give you some tips it's illegal but I do find it absolutely necessary to at least ease the pain ,
1- if the loved ones refuses to take the meds simply put that pill in thier drinks and steer the drink
2- or crush the pill and sprinkle it on thier food
3- or fool them that they need an injection against some form of illness like say birdflu instead inject them with the depot
While you at it try to persuade them to see the doctor and explain to the doctor what you did most of them are quite helpful

Hearts_2015

I am realizing if I am not healthy, if I am not strong, I can easily lose myself in their illnesses.

:flowerforyou:

fitfreakymom

Yep

My hubby has mental health issues from his job and my stepdad who I have no contact with is a schizophrenic.