Disturbing Relationship Revelation...

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  • mariamarchita
    mariamarchita Posts: 131
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    It IS really small, he's underweight, yeah, is true. His BMI is even below 16. But he does eat and he tries to gain weight but he's also really busy with his work lately and mostly only eats 4 pieces of bread and dinner a day...So he NEEDS to train in order to gain weight

    He needs to EAT in order to gain weight - some bread and 1 meal a day isn't enough. Has he consulted a dr or nutritionist? They could help him figure out quick easy things to eat that will get him the calories/nutrients he needs. He does sound painfully thin. Good luck and take care :)
  • ScarredVampiress
    ScarredVampiress Posts: 76
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    If it's any comfort, for the first year of my relationship I was 3 - 4 stone (42 - 56lb) heavier than my partner. Being lighter than him was a serious milestone!

    I could only wish to be lighter than him! T^T It's my goal!

    You realize for you to be lighter than him, at your height, would mean YOU having a bmi of 18 (which is underweight). You need to stop comparing yourself for 1). to a man, and 2.) to a man who by your own admission is seriously underweight. I could see wanting to tone or be more muscular, but 130lbs at 5' 8" is a perfectly healthy weight, why are you trying to lose?

    123 isn't underweight or 18 BMI, for my height, it's almost 19 BMI. I used to weigh 120 and I was perfectly healthy, even stronger than I am now. I was just smaller with more muscle, is still normal weight. Not sure which BMI calc you're using but I've used several and I could go down to 118 and still be healthy.
  • lelstar
    lelstar Posts: 374 Member
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    My younger brother was like that for a very long time - just over 6' and much skinnier than me. Now he has a normal weight but he had to really work at it with what he was eating and doing weights. Some blokes are just like that.
  • ScarredVampiress
    ScarredVampiress Posts: 76
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    My younger brother was like that for a very long time - just over 6' and much skinnier than me. Now he has a normal weight but he had to really work at it with what he was eating and doing weights. Some blokes are just like that.

    Yeah, it's just as hard, if not HARDER, to gain weight, rather than lose it. Especially the healthy way.

    Even harder to get my bf to do anything about it. :P haha
  • Crystalchaos72
    Crystalchaos72 Posts: 531
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    Your current BMI according to fitnessfrog.com
    BMI Calculator
    Body Mass Index (BMI) is a measure that compares a person.s height to their weight. Because BMI is easy to calculate and explain it is widely used in identifying weight problems. While indicative of body fat BMI doesn.t directly measure it (so if you are all muscle BMI is both misleading and ineffective).

    BMI Calculator
    Unit:
    Height: Feet Inches
    Weight: Lbs
    BMI: 19.76 Normal Weight
  • Claire594
    Claire594 Posts: 357 Member
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    My hubbie is 6'1 and I'm only 5'4 (and a half) and I weighed over a stone more than him. He's also lost a lot of weight but I'm now within 5lbs of him.

    It will be such a big NSV when I weigh less than him.
  • Crystalchaos72
    Crystalchaos72 Posts: 531
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    Your ticker says you have 16 pounds to go, which would make you under 120......
  • ScarredVampiress
    ScarredVampiress Posts: 76
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    Your current BMI according to fitnessfrog.com
    BMI Calculator
    Body Mass Index (BMI) is a measure that compares a person.s height to their weight. Because BMI is easy to calculate and explain it is widely used in identifying weight problems. While indicative of body fat BMI doesn.t directly measure it (so if you are all muscle BMI is both misleading and ineffective).

    BMI Calculator
    Unit:
    Height: Feet Inches
    Weight: Lbs
    BMI: 19.76 Normal Weight

    Thank you. I am clearly normal, and I think BF% is a MUCH better indication of health.

    I also did the BF% of my bf, ha, just for fun, and it was less than 3%... Mine is 22.6% ish and I want to be at least 20%. I think my BF% is a little high for my weight and height, even if my weight is normal.
  • ScarredVampiress
    ScarredVampiress Posts: 76
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    Your ticker says you have 16 pounds to go, which would make you under 120......

    I just put in a number, I didn't want to make it too small, so it gives me room and makes me strive for more. I mainly look to my measurements/ BF%, so ignore the ticker. haha
  • ScarredVampiress
    ScarredVampiress Posts: 76
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    My hubbie is 6'1 and I'm only 5'4 (and a half) and I weighed over a stone more than him. He's also lost a lot of weight but I'm now within 5lbs of him.

    It will be such a big NSV when I weigh less than him.

    I'm sure it would feel AMAZING to weigh less than your significant other. :)
  • Crystalchaos72
    Crystalchaos72 Posts: 531
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    I entered 120 as your weight and got this:
    BMI Calculator
    Unit:
    Height: Feet Inches
    Weight: Lbs
    BMI: 18.24 Underweight
  • Crystalchaos72
    Crystalchaos72 Posts: 531
    Options
    Your current BMI according to fitnessfrog.com
    BMI Calculator
    Body Mass Index (BMI) is a measure that compares a person.s height to their weight. Because BMI is easy to calculate and explain it is widely used in identifying weight problems. While indicative of body fat BMI doesn.t directly measure it (so if you are all muscle BMI is both misleading and ineffective).

    BMI Calculator
    Unit:
    Height: Feet Inches
    Weight: Lbs
    BMI: 19.76 Normal Weight

    Thank you. I am clearly normal, and I think BF% is a MUCH better indication of health.

    I also did the BF% of my bf, ha, just for fun, and it was less than 3%... Mine is 22.6% ish and I want to be at least 20%. I think my BF% is a little high for my weight and height, even if my weight is normal.


    Ok, just giving you info and yes, bf is a better indicator than pounds :) good luck! And STOP comparing yourself to ANYONE!! It just isn't healthy, mentaly or otherwise........just be the BEST VERSION of YOU :)
  • ScarredVampiress
    ScarredVampiress Posts: 76
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    I entered 120 as your weight and got this:
    BMI Calculator
    Unit:
    Height: Feet Inches
    Weight: Lbs
    BMI: 18.24 Underweight

    ...En? I'm not that weight. I'm going to stop whenever I get my desired BF% / measurements. Weight is irrelevant.
  • ScarredVampiress
    ScarredVampiress Posts: 76
    Options
    Your current BMI according to fitnessfrog.com
    BMI Calculator
    Body Mass Index (BMI) is a measure that compares a person.s height to their weight. Because BMI is easy to calculate and explain it is widely used in identifying weight problems. While indicative of body fat BMI doesn.t directly measure it (so if you are all muscle BMI is both misleading and ineffective).

    BMI Calculator
    Unit:
    Height: Feet Inches
    Weight: Lbs
    BMI: 19.76 Normal Weight

    Thank you. I am clearly normal, and I think BF% is a MUCH better indication of health.

    I also did the BF% of my bf, ha, just for fun, and it was less than 3%... Mine is 22.6% ish and I want to be at least 20%. I think my BF% is a little high for my weight and height, even if my weight is normal.


    Ok, just giving you info and yes, bf is a better indicator than pounds :) good luck! And STOP comparing yourself to ANYONE!! It just isn't healthy, mentaly or otherwise........just be the BEST VERSION of YOU :)

    Ha, yeah, I suppose so. Just got me a bit down, I'm sure it would to anyone...I'll still keep going though. Can only get better from here on out! heh
  • Crystalchaos72
    Crystalchaos72 Posts: 531
    Options
    I entered 120 as your weight and got this:
    BMI Calculator
    Unit:
    Height: Feet Inches
    Weight: Lbs
    BMI: 18.24 Underweight

    ...En? I'm not that weight. I'm going to stop whenever I get my desired BF% / measurements. Weight is irrelevant.


    I just tossed that in there because you made mention of 'I used to be 120#'......that is all. I am not gonna quotewhere I saw it because I am on my phone and it is a pain in the @$$.........just info :)
  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
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    My husband is 6'2 and 182 pounds waist size 32" I am 5' 6 and 192 pounds waist size 37"

    He has always been around this weight and size so I am using him as a mini goal. I don't excpect to get to his waist size any time soon, but I am only 11 pounds away from being lighter than him so that will be a great victory if I can get down to 181.

    My son is 18 and 6'2 waist size 26" he is like a piece of string with knots in it and has always been really skinny, however he is very active and apart from the odd cold has never been ill so I guess he is healthy. He is just naturally skinny and burns food easily.

    Like other posters say, look at yourself not at him, he is at the bottom end of the weight scale and you can't compare your self with him so I wouldn't worry about it, as long as you are at a healthy weight and look good (which you do) then just keep doing what you are doing for you.
  • Poods71
    Poods71 Posts: 502 Member
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    It would be fine to want to be smaller than your bf if he was a normal weight for a guy of his height, but he is severely underweight and you are a normal weight for someone of your height. Don't know where in the world you are but in Britain we get a programme called supersize vs superskinny and it explains that being underweight is just as bad for your health as being overweight. He will be doing untold damage to his body just now and really has to put some importance on gaining weight (it's not about looks it about health).
  • CheezPuff89
    CheezPuff89 Posts: 14 Member
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    If it's any comfort, for the first year of my relationship I was 3 - 4 stone (42 - 56lb) heavier than my partner. Being lighter than him was a serious milestone!

    I could only wish to be lighter than him! T^T It's my goal!

    You realize for you to be lighter than him, at your height, would mean YOU having a bmi of 18 (which is underweight). You need to stop comparing yourself for 1). to a man, and 2.) to a man who by your own admission is seriously underweight. I could see wanting to tone or be more muscular, but 130lbs at 5' 8" is a perfectly healthy weight, why are you trying to lose?

    123 isn't underweight or 18 BMI, for my height, it's almost 19 BMI. I used to weigh 120 and I was perfectly healthy, even stronger than I am now. I was just smaller with more muscle, is still normal weight. Not sure which BMI calc you're using but I've used several and I could go down to 118 and still be healthy.

    Using thishttp://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/ for 120lbs, although the other ones I looked at said the same. Not sure which ones you are looking at.
  • ScarredVampiress
    ScarredVampiress Posts: 76
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    Crystalchaos- You can still be this height, 120lbs, AND healthy. I know it seems a bit small, but I've seen people on here, particularly this one woman I keep seeing a LOT, that eats 1650 daily(plus exercise cals) and has a 25in waist and is 120lbs and around my height. So, I don't go on weight. I probably won'y be 120 again either, since that's a bit hard for me. haha

    Poods- I've told him it's about his health and not just his looks, but he just doesn't view it as important. I even went as far as to look up all things that come with being underweight and showed him what might happen if he keeps like this, so..he knows it, just doesn't care enough right now, it seems.

    Cheezpuff- I dunno, I just went to a normal BMI calc, and 118 was the limit. But I'm not that weight, and I'm not near 120. BMI are BS anyway. I go on BF% and measurements.
  • lil_pulp
    lil_pulp Posts: 701 Member
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    Why do you want to be skinnier than someone who's underweight?

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