Is total abstention easier than moderation?

londoneye

"A piece of advice I often see is, “Be moderate. Don’t have ice cream every night, but if you try to deny yourself altogether, you’ll fall off the wagon. Allow yourself to have the occasional treat, it will help you stick to your plan.”

I’ve come to believe that this is good advice for some people: the “moderators.” They do better when they try to make moderate changes, when they avoid absolutes and bright lines.

For a long time, I kept trying this strategy of moderation–and failing. Then I read a line from Samuel Johnson, who said, when someone offered him wine: “Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult.”

Ah ha! Like Dr. Johnson, I’m an “abstainer.”

I find it far easier to give something up altogether than to indulge moderately. When I admitted to myself that I was eating my favorite frozen yogurt treat very often, two and even three times a day, I gave it up cold turkey. That was far easier for me to do than to eat it twice a week. If I try to be moderate, I exhaust myself debating, “Today, tomorrow?” “Does this time ‘count’?” etc. If I never do something, it requires no self-control for me; if I do something sometimes, it requires enormous self-control.

There’s no right way or wrong way–it’s just a matter of knowing which strategy works better for you. "

So, what about you guys? Are you moderators or abstainers?

For the rest of the article: http://happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2012/05/quiz-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/

sho3girl

I have keep chocolate out of the picture... I wish I was one of those people who could just have 1 square... but until I am the willpower will keep helping me say no thanks

littlepinkhearts

i'm definately an abstainer. I need to stay completely the hell away from everything I don't need/want in my life. If I have just one, it's a slippery slope....always. When I quit smoking, it took me 5 times trying over a period of years. The last time I tried, I quit cold turkey, although I did keep a pack in the very back of my refridgerator that I used as my "security blanket". I felt like it was my only option left and it worked. I've eliminated a lot of stuff from my daily diet also. This seems to be the only way that works for me. Although I can have a "treat" while i'm out and about, I can't keep it in my house on a daily basis. Wish I could change that, but right now? not happening. Guess i'm just an all or nothing kinda girl.

B_Running

"A piece of advice I often see is, “Be moderate. Don’t have ice cream every night, but if you try to deny yourself altogether, you’ll fall off the wagon. Allow yourself to have the occasional treat, it will help you stick to your plan.”

I’ve come to believe that this is good advice for some people: the “moderators.” They do better when they try to make moderate changes, when they avoid absolutes and bright lines.

For a long time, I kept trying this strategy of moderation–and failing. Then I read a line from Samuel Johnson, who said, when someone offered him wine: “Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult.”

Ah ha! Like Dr. Johnson, I’m an “abstainer.”

I find it far easier to give something up altogether than to indulge moderately. When I admitted to myself that I was eating my favorite frozen yogurt treat very often, two and even three times a day, I gave it up cold turkey. That was far easier for me to do than to eat it twice a week. If I try to be moderate, I exhaust myself debating, “Today, tomorrow?” “Does this time ‘count’?” etc. If I never do something, it requires no self-control for me; if I do something sometimes, it requires enormous self-control.

There’s no right way or wrong way–it’s just a matter of knowing which strategy works better for you. "

So, what about you guys? Are you moderators or abstainers?

For the rest of the article: http://happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2012/05/quiz-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/

I no longer believe in moderation. I have tried coutless times, but it's just not something that agrees with me. It REALLY DOES require "enourmous self-control" when I attempt to do something in moderation. As opposed to completely eliminating something (or the opposite - doing it all the time), it becomes easy -- as if there's no pressure.

And I mostly certainly cannot "treat" myself to indulgences because all it does it make me what more and more (in that moment, as well as days/weeks/months later).

I also tend to question those who claim they do/believe in "everything in moderation." I've witnessed far too many people proudly claim this mantra, when in reality, their extremism only surfaces in different areas in their life. ...maybe I'm just a little jealous that they can enjoy a small treat; meanwhile, if I attempt to do the same, a war is raged inside my head, lol.

stephanj

Yup yup yup! I am an all or nothing kind of girl with an addictive personality. Abstinence is so much easier. When something is just off the table, not an option, I can find alternatives. When I have just a bit of something I crave it even more!

Rocbola

I think it is. Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn of the Cleveland Clinic, famous for curing patients of heart disease with proper diet, says "Completely remove this phrase from your vocabulary: 'this little bit can't hurt'"

Ravenesque_

I do moderation because it's harder. Anything to help me improve self control

emilylacey1010

I have to say no way none zero zip! A little is good and a lot would be way better! I don't want to even taste anything that might mess me up! JMO

mhoward685

I think there are trigger foods that must be abstained from and others that can be enjoyed in moderation and that is what makes this so difficult.

wrevhn

most of the time i do find that true. a little can so easily turn into a lot. i'd do bettter to make a healthy version of things i want so i don't get crazy with wanting more like a feeding shark.

Howbouto

It depends what it is, but mainly I think abstaining is easier for me than moderation. Especially if its a red light food, (especially sugary foods). I have found that if I have a little bit of sugar I really crave it the rest of the day, if I just stay away for it I can deal with not having it. However, pizza is something I have to have occasionally, I still have trouble with moderation but if I don't have pizza every couple of weeks I'll order a large and eat it by myself! Its easier to control by abstaining but I don't always think abstaining is the answer for a life style.

littlepinkhearts

I do moderation because it's harder. Anything to help me improve self control

I actually believe this helps too and have been recently trying it with bringing Cool Whip back into my house. Eh, not working. The first tub lasted 3 weeks, the second tub lasted 1 week, this last tub? 2 days. It just takes sooooo much mental energy for me to NOT use it, that it's just not worth the struggle for me. So when this tub is gone....no more.

pants77

Most people simply don't have the self-control to completely deny themselves all of the unhealthy delicious foods they love. We can hold on for a certain amount of time but the rubber band eventually snaps and a binge results.

For people who can abstain, that's great. It's certainly ideal to not eat those unhealthy foods.

For the rest of us, it's just building up pressure that's bound to explode sooner or later. It's much easier to keep your head balanced if you plan for the occasional treat and keep it within the boundaries of your diary and goals.

I work in a lunch every couple weeks where I have a couple slices of pizza. This prevents me from spending a month thinking about nothing but pizza, and eventually caving and eating a whole pie.

For some people, I'm sure abstention is easier. I am of the opinion that those lucky folks are the minority.

SARgirl

I'm definitely a moderator. If I try to abstain then that's all I think about and then eventually I fall off the wagon! I'm able to count out a serving size and be happy (usually) with that amount and satisfy my craving.

nurserae7

"A piece of advice I often see is, “Be moderate. Don’t have ice cream every night, but if you try to deny yourself altogether, you’ll fall off the wagon. Allow yourself to have the occasional treat, it will help you stick to your plan.”

I’ve come to believe that this is good advice for some people: the “moderators.” They do better when they try to make moderate changes, when they avoid absolutes and bright lines.

For a long time, I kept trying this strategy of moderation–and failing. Then I read a line from Samuel Johnson, who said, when someone offered him wine: “Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult.”

Ah ha! Like Dr. Johnson, I’m an “abstainer.”

I find it far easier to give something up altogether than to indulge moderately. When I admitted to myself that I was eating my favorite frozen yogurt treat very often, two and even three times a day, I gave it up cold turkey. That was far easier for me to do than to eat it twice a week. If I try to be moderate, I exhaust myself debating, “Today, tomorrow?” “Does this time ‘count’?” etc. If I never do something, it requires no self-control for me; if I do something sometimes, it requires enormous self-control.

There’s no right way or wrong way–it’s just a matter of knowing which strategy works better for you. "

So, what about you guys? Are you moderators or abstainers?

For the rest of the article: http://happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2012/05/quiz-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/

THANK YOU!!!!!! I am so glad to hear someone else share this same thing. Though I have tried all of the "expert" advise, I still cannot be moderate. Especially with my sweet tooth. To partake in a little ALWAYS leads to more. I've often thought, that it's a good thing I don't drink or use drugs because I'd probably be an addict there as well. So, abstaining has been the only thing that has worked for me in the past. Sugar is my addiction and I have to stay away from it in order to lose weight. Thanks again for the post. It encouraged me that I'm not alone!!

sanjoparolas

This is a great question and discussion. I would put myself in the abstainer camp. I have a hard time having moderate amounts of sugar, but if I can have none then that's just the way it is (not currently limiting sugar though as my diary will confirm). I am super happy with my plant-based diet. I do occasionally have other foods when out with friends (like at high tea yesterday) but it works for me to think, "what is the most awesome plant-based food that sounds good right now?" and then to enjoy the heck out of that!

Katie3784

I'm definitely a moderator. I have no problem eating one scoop of ice cream or 2 slices of pizza. Having kids makes it easier because you always have someone to share with. When I was younger and I would eat something "bad", I thought "Oh well, I may as well eat 2000 more calories now." I am so glad I have gotten past that, because now I can have anything I want, and just eat a little of it.

kikilieb

I also tend to question those who claim they do/believe in "everything in moderation." I've witnessed far too many people proudly claim this mantra, when in reality, their extremism only surfaces in different areas in their life. ...maybe I'm just a little jealous that they can enjoy a small treat; meanwhile, if I attempt to do the same, a war is raged inside my head, lol.

Oh yes, I think you're on to something here. I live by the, "everything in moderation" mantra regarding my food diary, however... i end up totally obessing about ridiculous things, like, "is my paper folded EXACTLY square at the corners."

It's totally nuts!

The only thing i've ever had to quit cold turkey is cigarettes. If I have one of those babies, it's over!

cuddyfanone

It really is this simple. Don't buy it. It won't be there. The choice is made because there is none to be made. Btw, you people kick butt. You're all encouraging with what you have achieved. Congratulations. :drinker:

boggsmeister

I am a moderator on most things. There are other things I simply can't have in the house. My biggest weaknesses are lemonade and limeade. If they are there I will drink them. So, I don't buy them at the grocery store.

MrGonzo05

If I want to avoid a food, I don't keep it at home. Guess I'm not a moderator.

Not the perfect solution but it helps.

littlepinkhearts

Most people simply don't have the self-control to completely deny themselves all of the unhealthy delicious foods they love. We can hold on for a certain amount of time but the rubber band eventually snaps and a binge results.

For people who can abstain, that's great. It's certainly ideal to not eat those unhealthy foods.

For the rest of us, it's just building up pressure that's bound to explode sooner or later. It's much easier to keep your head balanced if you plan for the occasional treat and keep it within the boundaries of your diary and goals.

I work in a lunch every couple weeks where I have a couple slices of pizza. This prevents me from spending a month thinking about nothing but pizza, and eventually caving and eating a whole pie.

For some people, I'm sure abstention is easier. I am of the opinion that those lucky folks are the minority.

SIDE NOTE: Is your display pic a picture of the Dr. Seuss story about the pale green pants with nobody inside them? Cause I used to read that story to my daughter lol She loved it!!! (and so did I haha)

shadow3829

I'm an all or nothing. I do fine without sugar and don't really miss it, but let me get a little and it is all over. I would love to be someone that could have chocolate every now and then, but for me there is no such thing as a little chocolate.

ArtemisMoon

I am from the moderate camp. If I don't let myself eat some of the 'bad' stuff, I would be miserable and never be able to keep it up. You only live once so not completely giving up stuff that is pleasant for you as long as you are careful with it makes sense to me. It also helps me spend time with my family (who are basically all about food). I find it easier to find healthy alternatives to sweets (I love chick pea and flax seed blondies) and allow myself my favorite comfort foods such as mac & cheese or pizza once or twice a month. I have found for me that eating some occasionally kills the cravings, and I have a lot more self-control so I don't sit there obsessing about eating more. I am satisfied with just a portion or eating until I am full. And I always try to work it into my daily calorie allotment.

I have a bag of chocolate chips I got close to two months ago in the cabinet. Once upon a time chocolate or candy would not have even survived in my house a week. I use it for baking the blondies occasionally (part of the bag has gone to blondies I made for other people), sprinkling on little one serving cakes, etc. So a true victory for me is that the bag is not gone yet and I can remember the bag is there without a sudden desire to go eat them.

txlissa62

I think there are trigger foods that must be abstained from and others that can be enjoyed in moderation and that is what makes this so difficult.

This is definitely true for me. Cheez-its? I must abstain, or else I'll eat the entire box. Sodas I've abstained from completely - not because It's difficult to be moderate, but because I know they're so bad for me. (I actually tried a sip of Coke last night, and it tasted horrible to me. Yay!)

I'm definitely a moderator. I have no problem eating one scoop of ice cream or 2 slices of pizza. Having kids makes it easier because you always have someone to share with. When I was younger and I would eat something "bad", I thought "Oh well, I may as well eat 2000 more calories now." I am so glad I have gotten past that, because now I can have anything I want, and just eat a little of it.

This is me as well. I'm in this for the long haul, and cutting everything I love completely out of my life is just too drastic for me to maintain long-term. Even though I've drastically changed my eating habits, it doesn't feel so drastic to me, because I don't feel deprived. If I told myself I couldn't have ice cream or pizza for the next year or so, I would definitely feel deprived. I don't have it every day, or even every other day, but I work it into my calorie "budget" on the days I want it.

In fact, using the recipe builder, I've been pleasantly surprised that many of the meals I used to prepare on a regular basis can still be part of my diet - as long as I measure how much I'm eating, and not go overboard. This includes pizza - I had assumed that I couldn't have it any more, but once I entered it into the recipe builder (I make my own, including the crust), I realized I could. I just have to limit myself to two pieces instead of the usual four. I'm fine with that - I add a salad, and I'm more than satisfied.

pants77

Most people simply don't have the self-control to completely deny themselves all of the unhealthy delicious foods they love. We can hold on for a certain amount of time but the rubber band eventually snaps and a binge results.

For people who can abstain, that's great. It's certainly ideal to not eat those unhealthy foods.

For the rest of us, it's just building up pressure that's bound to explode sooner or later. It's much easier to keep your head balanced if you plan for the occasional treat and keep it within the boundaries of your diary and goals.

I work in a lunch every couple weeks where I have a couple slices of pizza. This prevents me from spending a month thinking about nothing but pizza, and eventually caving and eating a whole pie.

For some people, I'm sure abstention is easier. I am of the opinion that those lucky folks are the minority.

SIDE NOTE: Is your display pic a picture of the Dr. Seuss story about the pale green pants with nobody inside them? Cause I used to read that story to my daughter lol She loved it!!! (and so did I haha)

Yes it is.

I'm somewhat disappointed that there isn't an entry in the food database for "Snide (1 peck)".

Sister_Someone

For some people moderation is a way of life, for others it's torture.

I'm among the latter. If I decide I won't have something, period; then I won't be even thinking about it, it will be away from my mind and easy to avoid. However, when I say I can have a little bit, I'll eat that little bit and I'll want more and be thinking about it until I really go and eat whatever's left of it.

littlepinkhearts

Thanks to the OP for posting the article....think I have actually learned something about myself haha. Not that I didn't already know that i'm a true abstainer...but just never really thought about it before :flowerforyou:

katejkelley

For me and sugar, it's total abstention. I truly believe I have a sugar addiction. Once I allow myself one cookie or piece of candy, I can't stop - binge eat sweets until I feel sick. So I have to just abstain - probably forever. But once I got it out of my system (a HARD 2 weeks!), I really don't want it so much anymore. Sure, it always looks good, and there is always temptation, but it's gotten easier to pass on that stuff - especially when I see the results.

brandee1212

I think there are trigger foods that must be abstained from and others that can be enjoyed in moderation and that is what makes this so difficult.

MHoward685 hit the nail on the head for me. Ice cream is my absolute favorite food of all time, and I eat it almost every single day (even when I'm counting calories). I have eaten a half gallon in one sitting before, so I have a hard time moderating it, but if I build a small portion into my calories (like a Skinny Cow sandwich or a half cup and a brownie bite), I'm able to control myself by eating it at the very end of the day. It's something to look forward to. However, while far from a favorite food, chocolate candies are a trigger food for me. My office is stocked with them, so when I'm on a calorie restriction, I have to cut them out completely because I binge. Same thing with cereal. I will eat the entire thing in one sitting, so it has to be cut completely.

kak2m4

For me, yes. If I want to stay on track, I have to completely stay away from "trigger" foods. Eventually I become desensitized to it and I don't feel deprived.