Is total abstention easier than moderation?

BinaryPulsar

Moderation for me. It depends on what it is, what my current goals and/or wants are. I can set limits and then stick within those limits. I can decide, choose and change what the limits are depending on what I want or what does or doesn't work for me. If I do abstain from something it also does not put me at risk of a binge because I'm not a binger, I'm a moderator through and through. It does take awareness and choices, though. I am a parent and I'm married. So, I have to be able to be a moderator. It's part of being a parent and part of a family. Sometimes I choose to eat something, sometimes I choose not. The answer is not always yes or always no. The answer is sometimes.

craigmandu

Well, I couldn't moderate my alcohol...so I haven't had a drink since 2011

I couldn't moderate my pain pills (I lived on them during my bad back days)...so I had to cold turkey those.

I couldn't moderate my smoking.....

Now that I think about it, I can't really moderate *kitten*....

So yea, I guess abstaining is easier for me.

KatLifter

Well, I couldn't moderate my alcohol...so I haven't had a drink since 2011

I couldn't moderate my pain pills (I lived on them during my bad back days)...so I had to cold turkey those.

I couldn't moderate my smoking.....

Now that I think about it, I can't really moderate *kitten*....

So yea, I guess abstaining is easier for me.

I'm about the same.
When I look at nutrition information for sweets I calculate for the entire package, not just 1 serving.
I was at my Mother's house earlier and had a few Cheez-its; I've been craving carbs and sugar all night now.
So much easier to stay away from it for the most part.

Alicia_P_28

I'm a bit of both...I just ate 6 hershey caramel kisses...and was wonderfully fine after...but put brownies in front of me and I just might try to eat them all...There's definitely things I can not just eat a bit of, so it is easier for me (at the moment) to just do without. Although, I did make amazing cheesecake crescents for a family reunion that got canceled (OMG the whole 24 servings was in my house!)..and I only ate 3 servings in a week. I was super proud of my self control (and EVEN worked out to 'earn' them)...so I know I'm getting better...but it is a lot less torture for me to avoid my triggers while I'm new with this lifestyle change. I do plan on being a 'moderator' in the future, as life without brownies, red velvet ice cream, and anything topped with extra cheese seems a little bleak.

PepperWorm

I HAVE to moderate. There are only a couple of foods I can't keep around, like chips.

Something that helps me think wisely about food choices now is money. I want my food to last because food is not cheap, so I force myself to measure and weigh and eat *only* the serving size.

Francl27

I had to abstain at first. Now I do ok with moderation.

alisonlynn1976

I think moderation is better because in abstaining from something you want, you're letting that thing control you.

katpudda

If I don't buy it and bring it home, I won't eat it. I grew up in the "clean plate club", it being almost a sin to throw food away. It helps me not to be around trigger food. For me, I believe if I crave something enough, I will go get it, eat and savor it, and then move on.
When I start planning to eat a specific food, (birthday cake for my birthday), I talked myself out of it and decided I really didn't want it.
If I plan a craving, I can better manage it.
Food and I are no longer in a relationship. I have broken up with food. Food never really loved me, and towards the end of the relationship, it did more harm than good.
I still have a lot of weight to lose, but I will no longer use food as anything but nutrition! This I promise me.

FlaxMilk

I think moderation is better because in abstaining from something you want, you're letting that thing control you.

I'd rather let something control me than hurt me, if it came down to that choice (abstain or binge). Those who struggle with moderation feel as controlled or more controlled by having the food around than by abstaining from it. For me, I'm a moderate abstainer. I don't say never, but I do have foods I know I respond to poorly and so I seriously limit them in my life and usually don't buy them. Any kind of bread like item, even the gluten free and Ezekiel brand varieties, make me really hungry and I also crave more food than I need. It's usually not worth it to me to have it around, but if I really want it, I buy a pack and accept that I'll experience more cravings and hunger while they are around.

The more I abstain, the better I do with my weight loss and fitness. I feel more overall healthy, but I know others who thrive on eating treats in moderation (a portion nightly, for instance.)

toutmonpossible

Everything in moderation, including moderation.

Joehenny

"A piece of advice I often see is, “Be moderate. Don’t have ice cream every night, but if you try to deny yourself altogether, you’ll fall off the wagon. Allow yourself to have the occasional treat, it will help you stick to your plan.”

I’ve come to believe that this is good advice for some people: the “moderators.” They do better when they try to make moderate changes, when they avoid absolutes and bright lines.

For a long time, I kept trying this strategy of moderation–and failing. Then I read a line from Samuel Johnson, who said, when someone offered him wine: “Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult.”

Ah ha! Like Dr. Johnson, I’m an “abstainer.”

I find it far easier to give something up altogether than to indulge moderately. When I admitted to myself that I was eating my favorite frozen yogurt treat very often, two and even three times a day, I gave it up cold turkey. That was far easier for me to do than to eat it twice a week. If I try to be moderate, I exhaust myself debating, “Today, tomorrow?” “Does this time ‘count’?” etc. If I never do something, it requires no self-control for me; if I do something sometimes, it requires enormous self-control.

There’s no right way or wrong way–it’s just a matter of knowing which strategy works better for you. "

So, what about you guys? Are you moderators or abstainers?

For the rest of the article: http://happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2012/05/quiz-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/

Sounds like you have an eating disorder

toutmonpossible

I think moderation is better because in abstaining from something you want, you're letting that thing control you.

If you're spending a lot of energy controlling your craving for something, that can be worse than total abstention. Everyone is different. Will power is believed to be a limited resource and you don't want to use it all up on diet management.

jojo86xdd

I used to have no self control, especially when it came to sweets. I couldn't just have 2 slices of pizza, i had to have 5. or i had to eat the whole pint of ice cream instead of just two scoops. But ever since I decided to make this a lifestyle thing, i knew i had to learn moderation whether i like it or not, because Im stubborn and there's no way I'm giving up my chocolate!!!! lol. So now I have nestle toll-house cookies in my freezer and Nutella in my pantry. They've been there for a month and I've only touched them twice
I still have my burger and my pizza here and there and I also drink occasionally. I never feel guilty about it because I have enough self control now to stop at 2 slices of pizza. Definitely feels great to have that kind of discipline. But that's just me. Different people have different triggers. At the end of the day, you have to do what works for you, and if having a little chocolate doesn't work then it's best to stay away from it all together.

grantwashere

I make sure I have enough calories left to play with and then dabble a bit. For instance, twice this week, I ate one teaspoon bite of cheesecake. I enjoyed that bite for at least 20 seconds. Each time, I went back and dirtied one more spoon. So, I consumed less than 100 calories (probably closer to 50) and still got to enjoy cheesecake. Works for me. I love beer. I do the same thing with it. If I didn't do it this way, I would do it old-school and that's what got me in this predicament to begin with! Bottom line - I'm still losing weight.

alisonlynn1976

I'd rather let something control me than hurt me, if it came down to that choice (abstain or binge).

It's not, though. That's a false dichotomy. Abstaining from something because you would binge otherwise gives that thing an enormous amount of power over you. I think that giving yourself the freedom to do [ill-advised thing] if you really, really want to takes away that power, which might lead to what is in effect abstention, but because you've chosen it, not because you've designated the thing you can't have as bad and forbidden. I think that making things bad and forbidden leads to fixation on those things and leads to the disordered all-or-none approach to it. I don't think that's a good way to live.

brower47

I agree with the moderation mantra, however; there are some items I don't keep in the house. I'll still eat them on occasion but I plan for them and don't keep them readily available.

There's moderation while also not putting your willpower to constant strain.

eric_sg61

Decent thread resurrection

littlepinkhearts

I think moderation is better because in abstaining from something you want, you're letting that thing control you.

I believe the "better" here would be whatever works for each individual. But my thought to your statement is how can something control you if you've put it out of your life...

highervibes

I'm an abstainer but I've also dabbled in moderation. I definitely prefer abstaining but i'm not super militant... if I do DECIDE to have something I know it's easier to abstain from I go in knowing full well the next week I'll have cravings and blood sugar swings (I'm specifically talking about processed carbs for me) So I'm not going to NOT have a slice of cake at my son's birthday party but I go in knowing FULL WELL I will obsess over every bite until it's over and then some.

etoiles_argentees

"When I was 5 years old my mother told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote ‘happy.’ They told me I didn’t understand the assignment. I told them they didn’t understand life."
John Lennon