Is total abstention easier than moderation?

Just_Dot

I cannot have even a tiny bit of sugar or I go off the rails.

Of a Crazy Train?

Do what works for you, yo.

littlepinkhearts

Thanks to the OP for posting the article....think I have actually learned something about myself haha. Not that I didn't already know that i'm a true abstainer...but just never really thought about it before :flowerforyou:

You're welcome! The great thing about the article is that it reminds us that one way isn't necessarily better than the other. The key is to know which you are and work with it! (PS: even as an 'abstainer' this tends to mean I will abstain from buying certain things or keeping them in my house on a day to day basis. When visiting friends, travelling, or on 'special' days, I will happily indulge guilt-free!)

Yes!! I totally agree with this and it works for me. I seem to handle the moderation thingy better when I go out...not sure why but whatever works haha I'm thinkin it might have something to do with the way I was raised. We had zero junk food in the house and I mean zero...no condiments, no snack food, no nothing. On special occasions my mother would bake some yummy stuff but other then that? nothing. Which is probably why it's easier for me to just not have any. Either way...it's true...whatever gets us where we wanna be!

GemmaRowlands

Once I have the taste for something, I have to have MORE. When I first started losing weight, I didn't have chocolate for a full four months, and for me that was much easier than just having a little bit.

jenniejengin

bump

Bob314159

To add to my post above......

Some things are better to remove entirely - they are more like poison than "treats"

I removed soft drinks a few years ago and avoid anything with HFCS

iuew

i enjoy foods that i used to eat in excess in moderation these days.

i occasionally have cheeseburgers and fries, or a big family dinner. pizza about once or twice a year, because it's a lot of calories for very little food. i can't remember the last time i had a milkshake, though. those are so calorie dense that i don't even want to think about it.

my goal has basically been sustainability. i can enjoy low fat / low cal subs most days, but i can't imagine never eating another cheeseburger.

i'm on maintenance phase, so YMMV. however, even on the diet, i would have a burger before going onstage with my band. i figured i would burn it off anyway, and apparently i did.

douglasmobbs

Do what you have to do to get the job done.

I find abstention easier than moderation, but I am getting better at moderation.

Crochetluvr

I need to lower my carbs for my diabetes, so for 30 days I have ditched all white carbs, refined sugar, corn and peas. I get my carbs from other good foods. When the 30 days is up, I start to SLOWLY add back some whole grain, low carb choices with an occasional treat that I can work in to my calories. It worked for me before....I just got complacent and my depression just added to the problem. I am on medication now and I feel very confident I can finally do this...and make it stick!

wild_wild_life

Well said, OP. The important thing is to recognize that people are different and, even though people give advice with the best of intentions (all things in moderation!), you need to know yourself and what works for you. Personally, I'm a closet abstainer trying to be a moderator. We'll see if it lasts.

briannaleigh89

I completely abstain because there is no moderation for me. I tend to go overboard and eat more than just a "moderate" amount, but it is different for everyone and you may find that totally abstaining is a lot harder than just having a little here and there.

xcrunnergirl13

I can do the moderation thing for 99% of things, but I have to avoid peanut butter altogether. One bite of anything with peanut butter, even a peanut granola bar, trigger sweet, salt, and fat cravings that make me want to eat loads of peanut butter for the whole week. Times like now, when I haven't had any in a long time, the idea of it isn't even appetizing. I agree, avoiding altogether can be better for some than moderation.

Robin_Bin

Like with many things, "it depends".

Is it easier to abstain? For many things, the short-term answer is yes. And for some things, even the long-term answer is yes.
Is it sustainable to abstain? Not if you're talking about food. And although I might be able to give up on ice cream, chocolate (ok not realistic for me), the occasional glass of wine and other things that have high calorie to nutrition ratio, I don't want to do that for the rest of my life.

The changes I'm making here are a lifestyle change, not a temporary weight loss (and yoyo back up) change. So for me at least, the answer is unless it's something I'm willing to do without for pretty much the rest of my life, I need to learn how to balance or moderate it.

The other issue, for some people, is that a temporary total abstinence, feels like a deprivation. And for those people it can even lead to wanting to have more of that item and binges.

Edit: Yes, and as others have said, there are also "trigger" foods for some. If you can't moderate something, it's good to at least recognize it and then avoid it.

Figure you what works for you, and your goals. Good luck!

KyliAnnHobson

I'm definitely a moderator. I think if I had tried to abstain from the foods I love, I would never have lost 70 lbs because I would have given up. My will power has improved tremendously over the past 11 months and I feel like I've finally found a balance that I can happily live with!

ktrn0312

I am a believer in moderation. I live in a world where there is countless temptations . I have now learned on occasion to have two oreo cookies instead of an entire sleeve. So far it has been working for me.

mymission92

Wow this is so true, I can go months without something then once I have it, I non stop eat it!! So i'd much rather never have it, like the saying 'you don't no what ur missing' ...yes i'd rather not know!!

Robin_Bin

I just read a great book called "willpower". They say the most successful people don't tell themselves "later" not "never". They talk about willpower in all areas of life and recognize weight loss/control as the second hardest challenge for people (after quitting smoking). Great book and very encouraging.

Although we're not supposed to correct typos... I think the poster accidentally put in a word that completely messes up the meaning. I believe the note above should say

They say the most successful people tell themselves "later" not "never".

At least that's what I understood from listening to an interview with one of the authors. You can also see reviews at http://www.npr.org/2011/09/18/140516974/resistance-training-for-your-willpower-muscles and http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/04/books/review/willpower-by-roy-f-baumeister-and-john-tierney-book-review.html?pagewanted=all

One of the key things they say (according to the reviews and the interview, I haven't read the book yet) is that willpower is like a muscle. It can get stronger with use, but if you strain it too far, fatigue sets in. So, do things like not having the temptation in the house or at least not in view, but also practice delaying and small steps.

Good luck everyone!

rosiecotton24

I'm in the moderate camp. I just cannot abstain totally from my favorite foods, such as pizza. I LOVE pizza. But I try not to eat it too often and when I do will not eat a lot. Same with pop. I love Dr Pepper. For the most part, I drink mainly water, but will have a Dr Pepper once in awhile.
It really really helps me when I know how many calories is in something. I just have to decide if I want to spend my allowed calories on that or not.

SkinnyBeth4Life

most of the time i do find that true. a little can so easily turn into a lot. i'd do bettter to make a healthy version of things i want so i don't get crazy with wanting more like a feeding shark.

^^^This. I spend loads of time attempting healthy versions of the things I'm craving. It keeps me occupied, and away from the actual offending food, and sometimes I get it right. Even if I fail in my replication, I find that by the time I give up trying to make it healthy, I'm on to my next craving anyway.

I also practice moderation by not keeping any of it in the house. That way, I have to make a special trip to get what I want.

hauntao

I think there are trigger foods that must be abstained from and others that can be enjoyed in moderation and that is what makes this so difficult.

This is definitely true for me. Cheez-its? I must abstain, or else I'll eat the entire box. Sodas I've abstained from completely - not because It's difficult to be moderate, but because I know they're so bad for me. (I actually tried a sip of Coke last night, and it tasted horrible to me. Yay!)

I'm definitely a moderator. I have no problem eating one scoop of ice cream or 2 slices of pizza. Having kids makes it easier because you always have someone to share with. When I was younger and I would eat something "bad", I thought "Oh well, I may as well eat 2000 more calories now." I am so glad I have gotten past that, because now I can have anything I want, and just eat a little of it.

This is me as well. I'm in this for the long haul, and cutting everything I love completely out of my life is just too drastic for me to maintain long-term. Even though I've drastically changed my eating habits, it doesn't feel so drastic to me, because I don't feel deprived. If I told myself I couldn't have ice cream or pizza for the next year or so, I would definitely feel deprived. I don't have it every day, or even every other day, but I work it into my calorie "budget" on the days I want it.

In fact, using the recipe builder, I've been pleasantly surprised that many of the meals I used to prepare on a regular basis can still be part of my diet - as long as I measure how much I'm eating, and not go overboard. This includes pizza - I had assumed that I couldn't have it any more, but once I entered it into the recipe builder (I make my own, including the crust), I realized I could. I just have to limit myself to two pieces instead of the usual four. I'm fine with that - I add a salad, and I'm more than satisfied.

Yup. Same here. And I'm just realizing this after like 12 years of yo yo dieting between large weight differences resulting from abstaining for a long period of time then giving in to binge behavior for another period.

RoadsterGirlie

I'm a mixture of both. I do eat some high calorie things I truly love in moderation, like ice cream. I will only go out for it, like going to get an ice cream cone on a hot summer day. However, I wouldn't keep something like that in the house.

There are also things I abstain from completely, like tortilla chips and french fries - too triggering, and I can't just have a couple. In that case, it's just easier to not have them at all.

Other high calorie foods like fried chicken wings I don't eat at all, not because I find them triggering, but because I simply find them to be "meh." If I'm gonna eat something that high in calories, it has to be something I truly love (see above mentioned ice cream lol). One of my favorite restaurants has an awesome fried fish sandwich, with full fat tarter sauce. I go out for it once a week, and love every bite.

By practicing these things, I really do enjoy my food so much more, while at the same time maintaining a healthy weight and lifestyle. It's a win-win.