Confession

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  • emirror
    emirror Posts: 842 Member
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    So... How did it go?
  • A_TASTE4VANILLA
    A_TASTE4VANILLA Posts: 20 Member
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    LOL TELL HIM DURING SEX
  • jcamby
    jcamby Posts: 200 Member
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    ^^ haha!

    UPDATE: So we had a talk last night and I told him everything. He wasn't that mad, surprisingly (perhaps it was good to talk to him while the Kings were winning the Cup!) He said he would've been mad if it would've been more money (i.e. $20,000!). We have a plan in place to pay it off. I had to cut it up in front of him. Thanks for all the advice! Whew.....
  • emirror
    emirror Posts: 842 Member
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    Way to go, jcamby! I'm so glad that it went well! :-D
  • Auspiciousgirl
    Auspiciousgirl Posts: 89
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    Good on ya for coming clean!! Telling him before he finds out (because yes, the truth does tend to come out!!) takes courage and shows good character. This will be a difficult conversation, but it will probably help to build even stronger trust in your relationship. I wish you good luck :heart:


    How much of that wine did you drink before you came up with this? Somehow I don't see "Honey, I've racked up almost $2,000 in debt behind your back" ending in "Wow baby, that really took courage for you to tell me. I feel so much closer to you now.".

    Okay, I see how that may have sounded overly optimistic... obviously that wouldn't be the immediate reaction. But the fact that she came clean on her own, instead of being even more secretive by trying to take care of it before he finds out, can be very beneficial to them as a couple over time. It opens the door for trust to be built in the future, and it definitely shows that she is invested in their relationship, even though she has made a significant error in judgement (which one of us hasn't?). We all have different opinions on the matter, and that's why she asked about it in the forum :)

    OP, thanks for the update, I am so happy that it went well for you!

    Edited after reading OP's update... I had originally asked how it turned out, without seeing that she'd already written an update.
  • PinkKitty724
    PinkKitty724 Posts: 179 Member
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    :smile: I personally could never do that. My hubby's best friend's ex-wife did that and he only found out when they were getting divorced and they were trying to figure out financial responsibilities. It just added to the other things she kept from him which ultimately lead to their divorce.

    Just my personal opinion but I feel that it is deceitful and I couldn't do that to my husband. I normally have a high balance on my credit card because of us buying stuff for our house or paying bills then paying it off each month. I do sometimes buy things on it without telling him, and he does the same with his but it's nothing major and he sees the boxes when they come in the mail.. then I show him what I've bought. Sometimes he'll ask me "We just paid $xxx why is your balance still $xxx. I tell him exactly what's been charged, or I let him look at my account- which he refuses to do anyways because he trusts that I wasn't just buying stupid things. And if I DID buy myself a new pair of shoes or a new outfit, he is happy for me.

    Not saying anything negative about you, but I am speaking from a personal standpoint. Everyone is different.

    Congratulations about wanting to come clean about it. It can go one of two ways, and I hope he is understanding and happy that you were honest with him. My question would be, if I were him, why do you feel that you needed to have this "secret" card? When I say above that I've bought things on mine without telling him, he doesn't care when I tell him after the fact- even if it's new shoes or an outfit.. I say it because maybe you have a "secret" card because you are afraid he may not want you to buy things the things you've charged on it, but I bet he'd be fine unless it's bad stuff.

    ***I just read your update. I am so glad it went well! You must have an awesome hubby! Congratulations :):) I am sure it took a lot of courage to tell him- be very proud!!
  • PinkKitty724
    PinkKitty724 Posts: 179 Member
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    Cancelling a credit card does not put a black mark on your credit report. Some companies may think it looks funny if you start and cancel a bunch of cards within a year....but it doesn't hurt your credit at all.

    Actually, It unfortunately can affect your credit by reducing your available credit... thus debt to income ratio would be increased if you reduce your available credit. How much it affects it is based upon your particular situation and other debts/accounts on your report.

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