I hate to sound mean but......

gumigal82

Its not aweful to continuously abuse your body when you KNOW and express to other that you have health issues from your own habits???!!!

Oh ok!!!!

Maybe Ill wait until she comes to work drunk to try to extend a helping hand!

Sounds like you're nonjudgmentally judging her. You've seen what she eats often enough to know she's not eating well, but it really isn't your place to say anything about it unless she asks. Just look after yourself and maybe she'll notice your improvements health wise and want to know how you're doing it and then you can tell her to go easy on the fast food and that she'd be better served learning how to cook her own food.

This is what I would say. It never is a good idea to give (a negative) opinion unless someone asks for it. The only time I might do/say something is if someone was involved in an abusive relationship, or doing drugs/abusing alcohol (or something awful like that)...

I was not being rude to you, so I don't understand why I am getting a feeling of rudeness directed to me? (If that was not your intention, than I apologize)
I honestly understand why you'd want to help someone in that position, I have family members and friends in poor health--but coming from personal experience it makes it worse to give your opinion or offer help on the matter. Most will block your advice, push you away, and the habits get worse. Being an example by living/doing healthy has always worked better for me.
I've never gone up to someone I don't really know in such a situation. maybe it will be different, but at least the people who know you -know you are coming from a place of love. This person does not know you or your heart, and may take it as an attack pure and simple.
If you feel that is best to say something, than go for it--offer your advice/opinion in love and support. Good luck.

tyoung8

I listed an example of what she might eat to give an idea. And trust me I am NOT looking from kindness from any of YOU!

Also,

I simply asked what you guys would do. And guess what you all did STARTED JUDGING ME!!! hahahahahaha. Im sure you all know what that makes you all!

Simply asking would be: What would you do if you saw a really overweight co-worker eating really unhealthy foods all the time? Would you say something?

You didn't simply ask - you gave a detailed listing of your co-worker's food choices and told the world you find her repulsive. You get back the kindness you put out into the world.

atessieri

I wouldn't do anything except keep eating my helthy food around her and losing my weight and maybe she'll be inspired too.
I tried to get my best friend to eat healthy with me. and she didn't want to and then went home and ate a klondike bar. And she was a friends so again just let your change and healthy habits speak for themselves and hopefully inspire her.

Lithriel

We are all human. We judge.

We have to know between right and wrong and we must use our senses to JUDGE along the way. We see someone making bad choices and we ought to be aware that they are making bad choices for our own self preservation to not make the same mistakes.

I see the headlines in the news almost every day and I am disgusted by some of the things people do in this world. It's my right to think that way and I don't think I am a bad person because of it. Anyone who says they don't EVER judge I would be skeptical of. I mean let's face it, how many people have said condescending things about you for "judging" so far? It's laughable.

If I saw someone doing drugs and destroying themselves and hurting their loved ones, I would probably feel the same way you do about this woman. I would worry. I would come to the conclusion that it's a disgusting destroying habit, stay away from it, and move on. Actually I have seen the effects of drugs on a coworker. People wouldn't accept food from her when she handed it to them because of her appearance. It's obvious. She looked disgusting. She twitched, had bad hygiene, was missing most of her teeth, look 65 at 40 something, could hardly talk straight. I could tell on the days she was using. Management talked to the rest of us about having all of us randomly tested for drugs because it was becoming a problem and they needed a legal way to fire her. I felt bad for her because I know she was supporting family members and needed that job. I couldn't help her and I couldn't save her from herself.

People facing addictions (food falls into this category too), already know the truth. They just can't be bothered to change. Saying something would only hurt her and mostly likely hasten her path to self destruction. Be a buddy. Be casual. Bring things up about your efforts, don't push, and maybe something will happen. Whatever you do, don't hurt her.

boggsmeister

Sounds just like me before I started this journey. Stop being so judgey of someone who isn't in the same place you are now. You have your own problems with food, or you wouldn't be here.

perpetuallyfit

aweful

Jesus Christ. You know that little red line that shows up under your words when you misspell them?

Honestly, you shouldn't be spending so much time thinking about somebody's else's failures.

somebody's else's failures. ?? :laugh:

AimersBee

Also,

I simply asked what you guys would do. And guess what you all did STARTED JUDGING ME!!! hahahahahaha. Im sure you all know what that makes you all!

I have learned that for a site where we are all here to get healthy and support each other, there are a lot of mean people on here that will call you out on the smallest things. You really didn't mean to be mean, you were just being human. I love how everyone that is giving you such a hard time is acting so 'high and mighty' like they've NEVER done the same thing.

So, I'm assuming that all of you who are calling her out have NEVER looked at another human being, and formed some type of opinion? Whether it be that they're overweight? Too skinny? You don't like what they're wearing? Their hairstyle? Wow...you all must be saints! Amazing!

agreed...

kawortman

If the opportunity developes, you could just say "I have been eating very healthy foods and I am feeling so wonderful that I just wanted to tell someone and I am even losing weight." You may or may not want to say the last part, but the feeling so wonderful and maybe healthy might just plant a seed. Do not say anything about her doing it; just plant the seed. k

heres2anewme

I have had gastric by-pass surgery (rou-en-y) and when I see someone morbidly obese, I so want to reach our to them, but I know they would more than likely be offended. I know I would have been and was when my sister suggested to me to have the surgery. I cannot stand to watch other people eat, esp. if they get a big fork full and stuff it in their mouths. I let people know to start with that I know it is the way they eat but since I have had surgery it makes me sick so if I don't look at them during the meal not to be offended. I have a small stomach therefore I have to take small bites, but it doesn't mean you do, so I just learned to quit looking at people when they are eating.

Now I have gone as far as to tell my doctor that so in so is seeing you today or at least they are in your waiting room and you really should suggest weight loss surgery. He has done so a few times, too, since I had mine. He was against me having it, but since he has watched me, he is now all for it. I try to set by example and if the opportunity arises I let people know I have had the surgery in hopes they will ask me about it, but I would never suggest it to them.

Linbo93

I know so many people just like that at my job. I mind my own business every single time. Until they want to change, any help I offer would fall onto deaf ears. I have one coworker specifically who talks with me all the time about wanting to get healthy, and she will even acknowledge her eating habits are bad (they are similar to the woman you describe), but no long term change ever happens.

Lead by example, use them for motivation to keep at your hard work if you need to, but it's a sensitive issue, so I would recommend giving advice only when specifically solicited.

venusinprogress

I have to agree with you RaeRae. Before I read your post I thought that instead of getting pissed off about someone's else eating habits, (that person not be able to do anything different at this time), You dont know what else goes on in a person's life- you dont walk in their shoes so you should not be judgemental. You know yourself how you want to be. I have no other vices, dont smoke, dont drink and food has been my only outlet for stress up unitl now. I am using all the positive experiences of this forum and would use this woman's eating habits to your advantage, ie, realisiing that that will never be you.

nathan72

well...you may be able to help her if you're really concerned. Changing eating habits is tough...maybe you could support each other. i've eaten like that too...for many years, and if she decides to make a change she will need some support!

Jebbster007

WOW op's getting a hard time here when all she wants to do is help a co-worker. Normally i have all the tact and diplomacy of a sledge hammer so i can empathise with your situation. If you really want to say something why not tell her about your own 8lb loss and how it was so easy to do using MFP. If she decides to look at the site then she may change, if she doesn't then at least you can say you tried. Just make sure you are telling her about your achievement and not telling her to change.

Also see if you can have this thread deleted first :noway:

Your very first couple of responders had it exactly right. People have to WANT to change. Critiquing her eating habits will likely earn you an enemy, however nicely it might be put.

And 10acity definitely gets an honorable mention. If you do tell her about MFP and your own achievements, and by some miracle she does check it out, she might be even more pissed off if she sees this thread so you might want to ask to have it deleted.

BrownEyedSister

I think losing weight is a lot like finding religion or falling in love. We want everyone around us to know how awesome it can be. We want to shout it from the rooftop.

As hard as it can be to keep it to yourself, do just that. Very few people appreciate when someone tries to "help" them see the error of their ways.

Good luck!

thepanttherlady

It's none of your business.

She who lives in a glass house should not throw stones.......

ramgi

Like it said I'm sure you're nice but you come across (in this post) like someone who hates fat people.

scapez

We are all human. We judge.

We have to know between right and wrong and we must use our senses to JUDGE along the way. We see someone making bad choices and we ought to be aware that they are making bad choices for our own self preservation to not make the same mistakes.

I see the headlines in the news almost every day and I am disgusted by some of the things people do in this world. It's my right to think that way and I don't think I am a bad person because of it. Anyone who says they don't EVER judge I would be skeptical of. I mean let's face it, how many people have said condescending things about you for "judging" so far? It's laughable.

If I saw someone doing drugs and destroying themselves and hurting their loved ones, I would probably feel the same way you do about this woman. I would worry. I would come to the conclusion that it's a disgusting destroying habit, stay away from it, and move on. Actually I have seen the effects of drugs on a coworker. People wouldn't accept food from her when she handed it to them because of her appearance. It's obvious. She looked disgusting. She twitched, had bad hygiene, was missing most of her teeth, look 65 at 40 something, could hardly talk straight. I could tell on the days she was using. Management talked to the rest of us about having all of us randomly tested for drugs because it was becoming a problem and they needed a legal way to fire her. I felt bad for her because I know she was supporting family members and needed that job. I couldn't help her and I couldn't save her from herself.

People facing addictions (food falls into this category too), already know the truth. They just can't be bothered to change. Saying something would only hurt her and mostly likely hasten her path to self destruction. Be a buddy. Be casual. Bring things up about your efforts, don't push, and maybe something will happen. Whatever you do, don't hurt her.

This is probably one of the wisest posts I've seen in the forums. Well said.

GasMasterFlash

aweful

Jesus Christ. You know that little red line that shows up under your words when you misspell them?

Honestly, you shouldn't be spending so much time thinking about somebody's else's failures.

Oh, snap! :laugh:

kymberlyjt

I would use how sickened you feel to motivate yourself. If seeing her eat like that makes you repulsed then great, it will stop you from binging on food that looks or smells like the junk she is eating. Good luck

chickentunashake

Maybe, just like you see what she eats, she can see what you eat and you could be an example of good eating habits. Maybe, one day when she don't feel good after eating all that unhealthy food she will come on her own and ask for help. Just maybe. But, it will be her time and her terms. :-(