How tacky is this? Vow Renewal / Giant Party
Replies
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Quick Background :
Hubby and I were supposed to get married in February 2007. Three weeks beffore the wedding, our daughter needed emergency heart surgery. We canceled the wedding with just 2 weeks to go. We didn't want to get married if she was dead, dying, or in the hospital. A few weeks later, we had a quickie no-guests-legal marriage. No one sent gifts or checks. We didn't register anywhere. We told everyone we'd have the reception during the summer.
Almost five years have gone by - for a long time, our daughter was too sick for us to think about throwing a party. People are STILL asking us when we get to have our " wedding ". Now that our anniversary is approaching, we have been thinking about doing a vow renewal / giant party.... basically a night of dinner and dancing.
No wedding dress. No wedding party. No gifts. Just a 10 minute " ceremony " where we exchange public vows, then a fancy, formal dinner & dancing, degenerating into drunken splendor.
Someone told me that it's tacky to have any sort of anniversary party, reception, vow renewal, etc. We aren't doing this as a re-do. We aren't asking for gifts. All we are asking is that our friends / family get to celebrate with us.
Thoughts?
My wedding gift to you:
Step 1: Stop giving a *kitten* what people think.
Step 2: Repeat Step 1.
Now go party.
^^^ This! Have your party - if someone thinks its tacky, they dont have to come.0 -
Quick Background :
Hubby and I were supposed to get married in February 2007. Three weeks beffore the wedding, our daughter needed emergency heart surgery. We canceled the wedding with just 2 weeks to go. We didn't want to get married if she was dead, dying, or in the hospital. A few weeks later, we had a quickie no-guests-legal marriage. No one sent gifts or checks. We didn't register anywhere. We told everyone we'd have the reception during the summer.
Almost five years have gone by - for a long time, our daughter was too sick for us to think about throwing a party. People are STILL asking us when we get to have our " wedding ". Now that our anniversary is approaching, we have been thinking about doing a vow renewal / giant party.... basically a night of dinner and dancing.
No wedding dress. No wedding party. No gifts. Just a 10 minute " ceremony " where we exchange public vows, then a fancy, formal dinner & dancing, degenerating into drunken splendor.
Someone told me that it's tacky to have any sort of anniversary party, reception, vow renewal, etc. We aren't doing this as a re-do. We aren't asking for gifts. All we are asking is that our friends / family get to celebrate with us.
Thoughts?
Personally, I wouldn't worry what that 'someone' said, I trust they will not be invited, if you do invite them and they accept, they are being a little hypocritical after slagging off your do.
It is YOUR occasion, you will be organsing the event, you are fully entitled to do it however you wish. If people don't like it, let them lump it.
Have a fantastic time! :flowerforyou:0 -
After all you've been through with your daughter's health, I think you and your husband need to follow through with your plans and do what you want. And the person who made that ugly comment shouldn't be invited.0
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It's not tacky! If anyone knows your situation, they will understand. It's tacky when you do it like Seal/Heidi Klum did :P
My husband and I had a quickie wedding last autumn, because we couldn't be together if we weren't married, and couldn't imagine doing long-distance anymore. We're having a first year anniversary party for this autumn in Canada so my family can celebrate- if anyone thinks it's tacky- they can suck it and not come.0 -
That is not tacky at all!! Whoever told you that needs to get over themselves. If you were having a big church wedding with the whole shebang then yeah. But, renewing your vows publicly in front of friends and family is an awesome thing to do. You guys are celebrating your love and committment in front of the people closest to you!
Have fun!!0 -
Not tacky, how could renewing your vows ever be tacky.
Go for it, enjoy it, and have a great time.
EXACTLY!!! Whoever told you that it's tacky must be an angry, negative person who just wants to poop on everyone else's happiness. To me, it's not unusual to have an anniversary party, and I think it's beautiful that you want to renew your vows. GO FOR IT, and anyone who wants to be a Negative Nancy doesn't have to go, and they can just sulk at home.0 -
Who doesn't love a good party? You should do it and maybe think twice about inviting "someone" who thinks it's tacky. If you want you can put- "please no gifts" on your invitations. Congrats on getting to place where a celebration is finally able to happen.0
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Do it. And to hell with anyone that has a problem with it. Those who don't want to be there don't have to come. Simple as that.0
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LOVE IT. I think it's a great idea. My husband and I were engaged for a while, then got pregnant, and decided to get married in a quickie-surprise-no-one-had-any-clue sort of way when we realized that we just weren't going to have the time or money with newborn twins to really plan an actual wedding. We went to a justice of the peace, did the deed, then called our family/friends to tell them what we had done.
That being said, we've always said we'd have a renewal of our vows someday when we had money to throw a huge party (cookout, backyard style) for everyone and maybe even take a honeymoon.
I say go for it. You deserve it, I don't think it's tacky at all, and I'm glad that your daughter came through everything okay.0 -
Not tacky at all, and I wouldn't invite the person that thinks it is so they can sit home and watch tv reruns. Enjoy and party it up!0
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I'm over the word tacky. It's just a way for some people to tell others that they don't like something and, therefore, nobody should like it. Especially in relation to weddings or wedding-related events.
I am officially deleting any dictionary entry on tacky that doesn't relate to adhesive properties.
Have a beautiful party. Everyone who loves you should be happy for you and take the propriety-stick out of their bottoms. :flowerforyou:0 -
I don't think its tacky at all. As a parent I believe you did the right thing by cancelling the wedding and focusing on what was more important.....your daughter. Now that she is doing better there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing a vow renewal and having a party and being able to celebrate you and your husband with friends and family. I think its an awesome idea. Go for it. The ones who think its tacky can stay home. I find that people try to rain on your parade when they are jealous of you. Happy Anniversary!!!!0
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I'd just call it an anniversary party and then surprise everyone with the vow renewal. That way, you can tell everyone not to bring gifts--just a note in the invitations that says something to the effect of : Please, no gifts. Your company on our anniversary *is* your gift to us!
Btw, congrats and have a wonderful time!
Love this idea... And to answer your question, NO it's not tacky. My God, the two of you have been through hell in the past 5 years dealing w/ your daughter's health problems. If they think it's "tacky", then they aren't true, understanding friends!0 -
:huh: Whoever told you it was tacky is mistaken. Congratulations to you, your hubby & your daughter! :flowerforyou:0
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It's your life, do what you want, and don't forget to un-invite the *kitten* who told you it was a tacky idea. Make sure to send them a capsulized piece of cake they can shove up their *kitten*.
Cheers and CONGRATS!0 -
I'd just call it an anniversary party and then surprise everyone with the vow renewal. That way, you can tell everyone not to bring gifts--just a note in the invitations that says something to the effect of : Please, no gifts. Your company on our anniversary *is* your gift to us!
Btw, congrats and have a wonderful time!
[/quote
^ ^ ^ THIS!!!!!!]0 -
I think it sounds really nice. And I think that there is something important and special about sharing this with friends and family. Go for it and have fun. The person who said it was tacky can stuff it.0
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I didn't read all of the replies, so forgive me if this is a repeat.
I agree with most of the responses -- have a party! And wear a pretty dress if you want to!
If you are concerned about people thinking they have to bring a gift even though you are asking them not to, what about asking people to donate to the American Heart Association or another charity? Your guests can choose whatever amount they are comfortable with, and everyone wins!0 -
What's tacky is having the huge wedding in the first place then having another one a few years later and still be asking for gifts.
You didn't have a big blowout of a wedding. You had no guests. You had no gifts. You had what, a quickie courthouse ceremony? It's not tacky to finally get to have the big celebration for your friends and relatives to witness your vows to each other.
Even the most etiquette-abiding people I know wouldn't call a vow renewal in this situation tacky.
BTW - Invitations should have no mention of gifts on them (it's a no-no etiquette-wise). I'm sure plenty of your friends and relatives would like to do something nice for you since having to postpone the big party and having the huge amount of stress of coping with your daughter's illness. So let them if they want to. If they don't want to, that's fine too.0 -
[/quote]
My wedding gift to you:
Step 1: Stop giving a *kitten* what people think.
Step 2: Repeat Step 1.
Now go party.
[/quote]
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
What she said!0 -
Just a thought about the gifts thing...
If you really don't want gifts, you could tell anyone who asks that you don't want gifts, but if someone feels compelled to give something, that any cash will be put towards a (family?) honeymoon.
A lot of couples who have been living together don't really need stuff for the house anymore, so I like this option because it lets gift-givers do something (like me, I like to give gifts), but doesn't weigh people down with a million crystal olive platters.0 -
Quick Background :
Hubby and I were supposed to get married in February 2007. Three weeks beffore the wedding, our daughter needed emergency heart surgery. We canceled the wedding with just 2 weeks to go. We didn't want to get married if she was dead, dying, or in the hospital. A few weeks later, we had a quickie no-guests-legal marriage. No one sent gifts or checks. We didn't register anywhere. We told everyone we'd have the reception during the summer.
Almost five years have gone by - for a long time, our daughter was too sick for us to think about throwing a party. People are STILL asking us when we get to have our " wedding ". Now that our anniversary is approaching, we have been thinking about doing a vow renewal / giant party.... basically a night of dinner and dancing.
No wedding dress. No wedding party. No gifts. Just a 10 minute " ceremony " where we exchange public vows, then a fancy, formal dinner & dancing, degenerating into drunken splendor.
Someone told me that it's tacky to have any sort of anniversary party, reception, vow renewal, etc. We aren't doing this as a re-do. We aren't asking for gifts. All we are asking is that our friends / family get to celebrate with us.
Thoughts?
Well, if it's tacky, then my hubby and I are going to be tacky, too. We got married by a Notary (good friend of mine) on the beach with barely anyone present. Our plan is to do a vow renewal at our 5 yr anniversary, have a reception and take the honeymoon we never took. It's your life - do with it what makes YOU happy and if someone thinks it's tacky, they don't have to be invited or attend.0 -
My wedding gift to you:
Step 1: Stop giving a *kitten* what people think.
Step 2: Repeat Step 1.
Now go party.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
What she said!
I'm a "he," for the record.0 -
That's clearly a bald wig. Don't lie.
My wedding gift to you:
Step 1: Stop giving a *kitten* what people think.
Step 2: Repeat Step 1.
Now go party.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
What she said!
I'm a "he," for the record.0 -
Not tacky at all.
I say go for it.
Congratulations btw.0 -
I fail to see how this is tacky. Terrible circumstances prevented you from celebrating your wedding so you're doing it now. How in the heck is that tacky? Get your party on and celebrate your love. Congratulations and have fun.0
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I think it is a wonderful idea. Have a great time and whoever told you it was tacky remember to not invite and send some pictures of you having a blast to them!
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That's clearly a bald wig. Don't lie.
My wedding gift to you:
Step 1: Stop giving a *kitten* what people think.
Step 2: Repeat Step 1.
Now go party.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
What she said!
I'm a "he," for the record.
It's the lipstick that gives me away, isn't it...0 -
This content has been removed.
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Quick Background :
Hubby and I were supposed to get married in February 2007. Three weeks beffore the wedding, our daughter needed emergency heart surgery. We canceled the wedding with just 2 weeks to go. We didn't want to get married if she was dead, dying, or in the hospital. A few weeks later, we had a quickie no-guests-legal marriage. No one sent gifts or checks. We didn't register anywhere. We told everyone we'd have the reception during the summer.
Almost five years have gone by - for a long time, our daughter was too sick for us to think about throwing a party. People are STILL asking us when we get to have our " wedding ". Now that our anniversary is approaching, we have been thinking about doing a vow renewal / giant party.... basically a night of dinner and dancing.
No wedding dress. No wedding party. No gifts. Just a 10 minute " ceremony " where we exchange public vows, then a fancy, formal dinner & dancing, degenerating into drunken splendor.
Someone told me that it's tacky to have any sort of anniversary party, reception, vow renewal, etc. We aren't doing this as a re-do. We aren't asking for gifts. All we are asking is that our friends / family get to celebrate with us.
Thoughts?
I say go for it. I don't see anything tacky about what you're doing at ll 0
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