Ideas on How to Get REAL-LIFE Friends

Options
13

Replies

  • _Thanatos_
    _Thanatos_ Posts: 166
    Options
    Ah who needs 'em anyway?
  • Ke22yB
    Ke22yB Posts: 969 Member
    Options
    I try to talk to everyone when I am out jogging I say good morning or good afternoon some people respond smile and say hello I have had peole going around the park in the other direction after we smiled a few times started talking and we are now jogging together a few times I also have conversations at my mens fitness class and find people with common interests I guess I try to be open and people respond .
    I feel maybe you arent very open I went to look at your profile to see maybe what area you are in or interests and your profile is closed maybe that is what you project to others that you are closed
  • Rjdj3530
    Rjdj3530 Posts: 154
    Options
    My husband and I have been going through this for years. Everyone we have meet over the years either didn't have kids or had kids from a previous marraige so they had way more free time than us. We would get last minute phone calls saying 'hey we are going out to dinner or the club can you meet up tonight". Of course we can't/couldn't because we have kids and last minute is out of the question. We alway have to plan for adult only outings.

    I am thankful that my kids are getting older and a babysitter is becoming a non issue but it's been this way so long that we don't have any mutual friends. I have some good friends at the gym but they of course are all female and want to do girl stuff, which is great for me but not for us!
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,849 Member
    Options
    Oh honey, there are TONS of us in the same boat. Too bad we don't all live near each other!
  • tnrown87
    tnrown87 Posts: 134 Member
    Options
    Girls bathroom at the bar. I go in by myself and leave with a new BFF every time.

    ^^^^^^THIS
  • size10dresses
    size10dresses Posts: 20
    Options
    I met my best friend doing spinning classes. Definitely go to some sort of fitness class :)
  • tnrown87
    tnrown87 Posts: 134 Member
    Options
    Yeah, the bar would be GREAT ...if there were some around! That would entail going to one by myself, though. Does anyone do that? Lol

    <-- this girl does

    :flowerforyou:
  • MaryPhillips90
    MaryPhillips90 Posts: 236 Member
    Options
    So many good idea!! Thanks!!
    I'm socially awkward, though! THAT'S my problem. I have no problem talking (and I can talk a lot), but I'm just....awkward.
    I'm going to make a Find-A-Friend To-Do list and do something different every week or so.
  • kapspecial
    kapspecial Posts: 67 Member
    Options
    I relocated 4 years ago alone and had to build a new network. It kinda feels like dating. Join organizations (Junior League, professional organizations, etc.). Volunteer with United Way (cuties), Habitat for Humanity (cuties who can build ish), it's an election year so you can volunteer with a campaign (I moved in 2008 and I met some folks that way), etc.

    Post something at your gym about wanting a partner to train for a 5k, 10k, whatever you're into. Talk to women in your group fitness classes. Chat them up a few times and then on the 3rd ask if they'd like to get together for coffee (if you see a couple of ladies that are already friends, go after them 2 for 1 special). Also try group training where they pair you up with another person. I've met good people at a Karaoke bar (actually met 3 new ladies that night). Take a class at the community college.

    Church is good, but you may have to put in a little effort and actually attend a women's group event, or something that will allow you to talk to people. When service is over, I head straight for the door and others do to. But if your church offers a new members class or anything that allows you to be in small groups check it out.

    The chamber of commerce usually has events and committees. Go to free events at a local college on a subject that's of interest to you. Coffee shops, Barnes & Noble. If you regularly shop at any store chat up the sales associate. Me and The Limited girl were tight. Talk more freely with your hair stylist or nail tech. Friend them they usually have a good network of girlfriends. Go to the Tastefully Simple, Pampered Chef, Mary Kay parties. I actually joined Mary Kay to meet new people and have something to do since I moved to a city alone. You have to put in a little effort, but then it's easy sailing. If you want to make friends outside of your city, you can also do travel groups. I just did one in May and have 5 solid new folks. We're planning a trip for August together.

    Community is important so I hope you find some tips that work for you. Good luck!!
  • amnski
    amnski Posts: 251 Member
    Options
    My husband and I are going through the SAME thing.
    And we always just end up hanging out by ourselves or with my sister and her husband.

    We've hung out with co-workers outside of work here and there but nothing like a "Real" friend.

    Mine have all moved away or are still REALLY into the bar scene (they are quite a few years younger and it's just not my thing anymore)

    I have no advice for you, but just wanted to let you know you aren't alone! lol

    100% agree. Parenting often times isolate us to not having much friends. Best to enjoy the hubby and I for our date times. I find it very difficult to have close friends due to my healthy lifestyle.

    I could have wrote this myself. Most people hubby and my age are still into the dating/bar scene...add parenting and not being able to get out often (babysitters get expensive and we have NO family within 10 hours of us)...we feel pretty isolated. I swear, we are fun...just have to find a way to trick, or um find people to come hang out lol.
  • ladyfox1979
    ladyfox1979 Posts: 405 Member
    Options
    Last time I checked was walk up to someone you think you like and say HI. If they don't acknowledge you just tell them to go F@ck themselves.:tongue:
  • amsparky
    amsparky Posts: 825 Member
    Options
    So many good idea!! Thanks!!
    I'm socially awkward, though! THAT'S my problem. I have no problem talking (and I can talk a lot), but I'm just....awkward.
    I'm going to make a Find-A-Friend To-Do list and do something different every week or so.

    I totally could have written this. I have the exact same issue!!
  • Briski1411
    Briski1411 Posts: 296 Member
    Options
    I kind of figure I'm just an A-hole... :frown: My wife and I have a similar problem. This is also affecting my kids to a point. I move us around the country and each new place we go we are starting over again. It usually just winds up being my wife and i who go to the races, to the park, or even camping.

    My wife seems to make girl friends alot easier than I can make friends. I'm not as nice as she is nor do I let people walk all over me. This may be a contributing factor to our very small non existant friends list.

    Money issues always seem to play a HUGE role in taking my family out to do things also. We do free thingws like go to the park or go to the library. Just hoping somebody might have similar qualities as us i.e. younger couple with younger kids.

    However since I am unable to make friends I got back into my healthy hobby of going to the gym. Plus I have a Pretty neat car with a loud stereo I wash on the weekends......

    Sorry but I have no advice for you in fact I am taking some advice from this thread......
  • paendrag
    paendrag Posts: 16 Member
    Options
    My friends are few and far between and have slowly deminished over the years. Co-workers are the closest friends I have and that's the extent of it.
    I really don't know HOW to go about finding new friends, but I know I will have to venture out alone.
    Does anyone have any ideas on how to meet new people?

    I have the same problem, except the close friends I have are all anti-social.

    Now that my childran are all grown, I find I have a lot of free time on my hands and no one to spend it with. I have been trying to put myself out there, but being a little bit of an introvert makes it difficult, especially since I don't like bars and atheists arent always welcome at church events. I have made a little progress with help from co-workers, and my kids. In fact, I am hosting a BBQ/pool party at my house on July 4th, and I invited my neighbors and had my kids invite parents of their friends and others they know. So, a lot of new people to meet.

    I would also suggest finding a local group, or several, that do things that you like to do: crafts, hobbies, games, book clubs, etc. One other thing I recently discovered is online dating sites. Believe it or not, there are people on these sites that are only looking for like-minded people in their area to hangout with; they do not want any type of releationship other than friendship.

    Good luck.
  • mevalentina
    mevalentina Posts: 362 Member
    Options
    Girls bathroom at the bar. I go in by myself and leave with a new BFF every time.
    This happens to me also. Nobody believes me when I tell them what happens in the girl's restroom at the bar :smokin: True Story every time lol..
  • meggawatt
    meggawatt Posts: 145 Member
    Options
    My husband and I are going through the SAME thing.
    And we always just end up hanging out by ourselves or with my sister and her husband.

    We've hung out with co-workers outside of work here and there but nothing like a "Real" friend.

    Mine have all moved away or are still REALLY into the bar scene (they are quite a few years younger and it's just not my thing anymore)

    I have no advice for you, but just wanted to let you know you aren't alone! lol

    Same for me and my husband, he's an introvert and I am an extrovert. Good thing I like my siblings :-)
  • MaryPhillips90
    MaryPhillips90 Posts: 236 Member
    Options
    At least my husband has a best friend, but when he goes out, I'm home alone :(
    The tables must turn!
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
    Options
    meetup
    volunteering in your community
    volunteering at local races (you meet lots of other volunteers)
    gym classes
    other hobbies
  • firesoforion
    firesoforion Posts: 1,017 Member
    Options
    MeetUp.com. It's a hard thing to do, but MeetUp certainly makes it easier. It also gives you a wider choice of things to do to meet people than go to a bar.
  • _the_feniks_
    _the_feniks_ Posts: 3,443 Member
    Options
    Girls bathroom at the bar. I go in by myself and leave with a new BFF every time.
    This happens to me also. Nobody believes me when I tell them what happens in the girl's restroom at the bar :smokin: True Story every time lol..

    Doesn't work for everybody. I did this once, on accident, and the only person I met was the bouncer and he was a real ****.

Categories