Why do people cheat?

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  • FindingFit127
    FindingFit127 Posts: 69 Member
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    I think people cheat for the excitement and thrill of it and don't ever want to get caught because they actually don't want their main spouse to hurt or know..
    I think there's people that will always cheat and people that would never think of it you just need to find someone who has more self control and higher standards then that.
    It's pathetic how society is now a days and I think you childs father is a hoe! lol yes,guys can be hoes too theres some guys I'd never touch with a ten foot pole because of how much they've slept around... it's disgusting! and of course there are ladies like that too
    I think the best thing for you to do is better yourself, get fit, be confident and happy with yourself that way you can constantly show your ex what an *kitten* he is for cheating on you and doing you wrong and so he can see what he's missing out on!! :D atleast that's what I'd do!
    Goodluck to you hun!
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    Why do people cheat?

    Hard truth time which most folks (Men and women alike) are not gonna like.

    Why do people cheat? Simple, because they can. I know men and women both who have cheated, their partner had doubts about it, but still didn't anything about it. The partners were in denial.

    Some people don't believe in monogamy but pretend they do so that they can be with the "home maker" while they have couple of girls on the side. Or in some women's case, they have a spineless turtle who lives just for the sight of her and so she can do whatever she wants behind his back all the while he's supporting her.

    Its that simple. Some people don't have morals. End of story. It doesn't matter if you confront them or not or if you put a spy on them or even catch them red handed. They're really not sorry.

    There are ofcourse exceptions where the person have a one time fling or falls for a certain person outside of the relationship. Things happens but because they still care for their partner they try to hide it but typically people who cheat, they just wanna get some on the side while they reap the benefits of a relationship and support from their partner
  • lostinureyes17
    lostinureyes17 Posts: 112 Member
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    People cheat for all different reasons. I've never cheated but I've been the one cheated on. In my case nothing had changed between us.. at least not to my knowledge we were best friends and had sex daily. He was a pathological liar and the one excuse he gave after I had found out and left him was that he felt he wasn't good enough for me so he tried to find someone less great? That was after we had been best friends for 10 years and in a relationship for two.

    Only advice I can give as hard as it is..don't let it make you bitter. Everyone is different and not all men cheat. I started dating again and told myself that I wasn't going to punish anyone else for his crimes. I trust someone until they give me a reason not to. I agree with the other poster though. Most of the time "once a cheater always a cheater"

    "Edited to say I did find a wonderful guy who I have been in a relationship with for over four years and we are engaged to be married so it'll all work out!"
  • gingerveg
    gingerveg Posts: 748 Member
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    I just ended a relationship, & I have a child with this guy. I always had my suspicions that he was cheating. Hell I practically I think the reason people cheat is, because they are unhappy in their relationship but feel bad about leaving or something is missing that used to be there. My ex says it is because they are unhappy with themselves. What do you think?

    I think people cheat because they are selfish...

    No matter the reason...it always points back to being Selfish...
    Yeah I think you got this right ^. OP I'm sorry this happened to you. :(
  • cmeade20
    cmeade20 Posts: 1,238 Member
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    Usually selfishness like was already said or immaturity/insecurity

    My ex cheated on me. I never wasted a second blaming myself-from moment one I was pissed at him. But out of curiousity I asked his friends what the hell was going on in his mind when he did that.

    They told me he said he didnt know, he was drunk the first time it happened blah blah blah. They told me flat out they think my ambitiousness and accomplishments over the four years of our relationship were starting to make him feel lesser about himself or whatever and his insecurities over himself were really starting to come out.

    Naturally his friends and I agreed that still was no excuse and he needs to grow the hell up.

    But 2 years later Im almost done with my bachelors degree, happier, healthier, thinner and have had a lot of fun.


    As far as I know he still lives in his grandparents attic

    Happy endings do exist :-)
  • jetscreaminagain
    jetscreaminagain Posts: 1,130 Member
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    That guy cheated because that's what he does. He'll play come here come here come here go away go away go away all he can with as many people as he can.

    You're better off without him. Move on.

    In order to do that, quit the sad sack stories. You're training people to continue to treat you like **** when you dwell for days using all the words about how done dirty you were.

    You're strong. You have a daughter. Focus on that.

    And the less he's involved, the better for you, and probably the better for the kiddo.

    But, as a wise philosopher said about 1979 or so, "it is time for you to stop all of your crying."
  • Babymomakell
    Babymomakell Posts: 257 Member
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    People cheat because they are unhappy with themselves.... and they are looking to fill a void with temporary euphoria and "newness" if you will. When you cheat, the stresses of everyday life (kids, bills, housework, etc.) don't exist in the side relationship. So, yeah... pretty much boils down to being selfish.

    I agree with you on this, 100%
  • mamamudbug
    mamamudbug Posts: 572 Member
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    I just ended a relationship, & I have a child with this guy. I always had my suspicions that he was cheating. Hell I practically I think the reason people cheat is, because they are unhappy in their relationship but feel bad about leaving or something is missing that used to be there. My ex says it is because they are unhappy with themselves. What do you think?

    I think people cheat because they are selfish...

    No matter the reason...it always points back to being Selfish...

    Absolutely
  • jammet80
    jammet80 Posts: 96 Member
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    I think part of it has to do with the "excitement" of dating. Someone new, butterflies, feeling desirable to others. I agree that it's selfish, don't get me wrong.
  • mevalentina
    mevalentina Posts: 362 Member
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    People cheat because they are selfish a-holes who care nothing about other people's feelings period. There is no other reason plain and simple..
  • LinaBo
    LinaBo Posts: 342 Member
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    I would honestly be running away, and FAST, from a guy professing his love and claiming he wanted to marry me and spend the rest of his life with me after only one month of dating. For a guy to become infatuated so easily is a good tip-off when dating in the future. It tells me that he will fall OUT of infatuation quite easily, too (notice that I don't say "love". This guy doesn't know what love really IS).

    If you haven't already, I would politely make it clear to him that, on no uncertain terms, you and he will NEVER have that kind of relationship again, emotional or physical. I would also point out to him that, now that he has a child, and for any children he may have in the future, his cheating and destruction of his relationship(s) have/will have a negative impact on his child(ren). Note the pluralization, because I have a feeling that this guy will have more children with someone in the future. Hopefully words like this will help him clean up his act, and the next relationship he gets into and has these kids with will be one that sticks, and not one in a string of several that leave babymamas in his wake.
  • Chinadollpuss
    Chinadollpuss Posts: 19 Member
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    I think it's both, cause i know someone that has a lot of kids and babymama's, He is just a male hoe and all his brother's and cousins are the same way they believe in having a lot of kids by different women and also using women for money and a place to stay. What some women need to understand is if a man tell's you to your face that i dont want no kids with you, then you shouldnt get pregnant thinking that its gone keep him around. This one girl did it and he told her not to keep it and he has even had sex with two of her sisters while being with her and a few of her cousins, his other Babymama's and other outside girl's to. And she still wont let him go, some people need to know when to just walk away & leave all the drama alone
  • Gingeeee
    Gingeeee Posts: 28
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    Your better off without this man. You forgave him for cheating on you many times. Why on earth would you want to stay with someone who doesnt respect you. Children pick up on this also and its not good for them either. He sound like a BS artist . Get some counseling and help so you can move on with your life and make a better life for your children. He sounds like a real talker and what really counts is his actions. Good luck. I hope you take the advice.

    In answer to your question, people cheat and lie because they have no respect or real love for the person they are with. They are usually selfish people and whatever feels good to them or benefits them, that is what they do. He needs to grow up.
  • MrEmoticon
    MrEmoticon Posts: 275 Member
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    Because other people can be freaks in bed.
  • braign
    braign Posts: 89
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    I've cheated in relationships, and been (emotionally) cheated on too.

    I like to think that for humans, monogamy is a worthy goal to strive for, but not an easy one, and certainly not natural. There's always an imperative to seek something better, something more, so if you aren't getting everything you want from a relationship, it's all too easy to stray. I managed to get away with cheating for a while because my boyfriend at the time wouldn't talk to me or see me more than once a month at best - then he acted upset when he found out. The whole relationship was a giant red flag, but we both ignored it and kept trying.
  • foodfight247
    foodfight247 Posts: 767 Member
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    Simple answer? Because of their insecurities - not just with themselves but that also extends to their lifestyle, stresses etc etc.

    I've never cheated on my ex (or anyone else for that matter), however, he cheated on me twice with the same woman.

    People cheat, because they are either insecure or don't love the other person..
  • dinovino_59
    dinovino_59 Posts: 1,700
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    blame it on the genes
    In troubled relationships, cheating can be an easy alternative to the burden of a breakup or the agony of divorce. It's a quick fix for the sake of the couple's or the family's integrity. Some of us have even gone so far as to enact the long-distance code: If you cheat in another zip code, it doesn't count.

    And with evolutionary psychologists telling us that we are wired to lay our seeds in as many women as possible to ensure our genetic survival, adultery is slowly becoming a defensible misdeed, which may explain why women are catching up to men in the game of infidelity.

    Because of our insatiable appetite for sex, we men can sometimes only be as faithful as our options.
  • imogenjade
    imogenjade Posts: 131
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    even happy men cheat . the ones that love themselves more than there girl cheat. they think with their ****s. women cheat when there not happy cos they cheat looking for some one. men cheat purely for the sex xx
  • dinovino_59
    dinovino_59 Posts: 1,700
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    Number 10
    Your lady doesn't put out

    Every man has heard that the best way to get a woman to stop having sex with him is by marrying her. Apparently, long-term relationships seem to suck the sex drive out of many women, leaving men gasping for fulfillment. With the need for more sex, some men will start "working late" more often.

    Or it could just be that the sex has become boring. She doesn't want to try new things in bed, or won't perform *kitten*. Some men may cheat because they don't want their girlfriends or wives to perform certain sex acts that would ruin their "good girl" image, so they get a mistress to take care of it. Like Robert de Niro said in Analyze This , "That's the mouth she kisses my kids good night with!"

    In light of this, I call on lawmakers around the world to create an International BJ Day, where men and women get the day off from work and get all the oral satisfaction they need from their partners. I'll bet that this alone would cut infidelity by at least 75%.
  • Italian_Buju
    Italian_Buju Posts: 8,030 Member
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    After reading two pages of reasons, I have a different take.

    Humans are not made to be monogamous, but because of the society we live in, many of them try and force it, and it just does not work a lot of the time.

    It does not mean that the person does not love you, love as very little, if anything to do with it. It just means that they need something more in their lives. Sometimes, if the person is committed to staying with their primary partner, and loves them, a side relationship can actually make the primary one better, because that person is fully satisfied and recharged. It does not mean that they do not want to be in the primary relationship, it just means that they need a break for a few hours or a night, it does not mean they do not love to be in the primary relationship either.

    Think of it this way:

    You love your child. If you had another child, would you love your first child any less? No. So why do people feel that way about partners. Just because you have another one, does not make your love for the first one any less.

    Now, I am not saying you should be with this guy, obviously this is not what you signed up for. I just wanted to point out that cheating does not equal unhappiness or not loving your partner. To be honest, the biggest thing that stood out to me in the OP's post was that she seemed to be supporting him all those years, while he sat around and didn't work........

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