Why do people cheat?

Options
1356

Replies

  • dinovino_59
    dinovino_59 Posts: 1,700
    Options
    Number 9
    She cheated on you

    So you found out your lady was being unfaithful, and the only way you can relieve your anger is by doing the same. For many men, this is the only way to get back at their cheating girlfriends and even the score. Some men might even cheat to get back at all the cheating women they've had the misfortune of dating throughout their lives; now that's efficiency.
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
    Options
    In my opinion, people cheat because they don't want to put the effort into keeping things new and exciting with their spouse/SO and they don't have a moral compass.

    My husband and I have been married for 20 years and together for 22. The last 5 we had lost our way with each other and were both very unhappy in our marriage. Even though we seriously considered divorce, neither of us cheated on the other. Why? Because we made a commitment to forsake all others when we took our marriage vows. Because both of us believe that cheating is the ultimate betrayal that would never be able to be overcome. Because neither of us could imagine causing the pain the other would feel if cheating had happened. And mainly because, deep down, we still loved each other and only wanted each other.
  • rybo
    rybo Posts: 5,424 Member
    Options
    After reading two pages of reasons, I have a different take.

    Humans are not made to be monogamous, but because of the society we live in, many of them try and force it, and it just does not work a lot of the time.

    It does not mean that the person does not love you, love as very little, if anything to do with it. It just means that they need something more in their lives. Sometimes, if the person is committed to staying with their primary partner, and loves them, a side relationship can actually make the primary one better, because that person is fully satisfied and recharged. It does not mean that they do not want to be in the primary relationship, it just means that they need a break for a few hours or a night, it does not mean they do not love to be in the primary relationship either.

    Think of it this way:

    You love your child. If you had another child, would you love your first child any less? No. So why do people feel that way about partners. Just because you have another one, does not make your love for the first one any less.

    I believe people cheat for a million different reasons. But I think the above explanation has a lot of merit.
  • Schraudt814
    Schraudt814 Posts: 496 Member
    Options
    After reading two pages of reasons, I have a different take.

    Humans are not made to be monogamous, but because of the society we live in, many of them try and force it, and it just does not work a lot of the time.

    It does not mean that the person does not love you, love as very little, if anything to do with it. It just means that they need something more in their lives. Sometimes, if the person is committed to staying with their primary partner, and loves them, a side relationship can actually make the primary one better, because that person is fully satisfied and recharged. It does not mean that they do not want to be in the primary relationship, it just means that they need a break for a few hours or a night, it does not mean they do not love to be in the primary relationship either.

    Think of it this way:

    You love your child. If you had another child, would you love your first child any less? No. So why do people feel that way about partners. Just because you have another one, does not make your love for the first one any less.

    I believe people cheat for a million different reasons. But I think the above explanation has a lot of merit.

    I'm sorry but I disagree. I think people use "love" as an excuse. But if you love someone, shouldn't you work on that relationship instead of trying out a new partner? I think people cheat for a lot of reasons but saying "humans are meant to be with many people" to me is a cop-out. If that's the case, why be in a relationship to begin with?
  • Italian_Buju
    Italian_Buju Posts: 8,030 Member
    Options
    After reading two pages of reasons, I have a different take.

    Humans are not made to be monogamous, but because of the society we live in, many of them try and force it, and it just does not work a lot of the time.

    It does not mean that the person does not love you, love as very little, if anything to do with it. It just means that they need something more in their lives. Sometimes, if the person is committed to staying with their primary partner, and loves them, a side relationship can actually make the primary one better, because that person is fully satisfied and recharged. It does not mean that they do not want to be in the primary relationship, it just means that they need a break for a few hours or a night, it does not mean they do not love to be in the primary relationship either.

    Think of it this way:

    You love your child. If you had another child, would you love your first child any less? No. So why do people feel that way about partners. Just because you have another one, does not make your love for the first one any less.

    I believe people cheat for a million different reasons. But I think the above explanation has a lot of merit.

    I'm sorry but I disagree. I think people use "love" as an excuse. But if you love someone, shouldn't you work on that relationship instead of trying out a new partner? I think people cheat for a lot of reasons but saying "humans are meant to be with many people" to me is a cop-out. If that's the case, why be in a relationship to begin with?

    Because society pressures you to be monogamous. So people try and conform to that. Same reason some homosexual people 'try' and be straight.

    If polyamory was more accepted, I do not think we would have half the problems that we do with divorce and such. And just to clarify, I do not mean polygyny, like the sister wives idea, that is only one side of it.

    Also, I never said there had to be a problem in the primary relationship to work on. How many people have been cheated on, and completely blindsided because they were not having problems? Having a secondary relationship, does not mean there is a problem with your primary one.

    Also, I truly believe it is not natural to be with one person, if it was, it would come easy, and we would not have over 50% of people having affairs at some point in their lives. Very few animals are naturally monogamous, it is something that humans created and it really has not gone so well for most of us.

    Like I said before, just because you have another partner, does not make your primary partner any less important, or loved.
  • Roni_M
    Roni_M Posts: 717 Member
    Options
    Although there are tons of reasons, I think one no one has mentioned is a lack of impulse control. Think 2 year old with a cookie. It's there, it's available, it's exciting and they don't even stop to think about consequences. This sounds like the case with your ex. That doesn't mean he didn't love you... You were probably not even in his mind when it happened. But if he lacks control, it would likely happen again. I honestly believe this is the case with most guys that cheat, short term gratification with no thought to the long term consequences.
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
    Options
    After reading two pages of reasons, I have a different take.

    Humans are not made to be monogamous, but because of the society we live in, many of them try and force it, and it just does not work a lot of the time.

    It does not mean that the person does not love you, love as very little, if anything to do with it. It just means that they need something more in their lives. Sometimes, if the person is committed to staying with their primary partner, and loves them, a side relationship can actually make the primary one better, because that person is fully satisfied and recharged. It does not mean that they do not want to be in the primary relationship, it just means that they need a break for a few hours or a night, it does not mean they do not love to be in the primary relationship either.

    Think of it this way:

    You love your child. If you had another child, would you love your first child any less? No. So why do people feel that way about partners. Just because you have another one, does not make your love for the first one any less.

    I believe people cheat for a million different reasons. But I think the above explanation has a lot of merit.

    I'm sorry but I disagree. I think people use "love" as an excuse. But if you love someone, shouldn't you work on that relationship instead of trying out a new partner? I think people cheat for a lot of reasons but saying "humans are meant to be with many people" to me is a cop-out. If that's the case, why be in a relationship to begin with?

    Because society pressures you to be monogamous. So people try and conform to that. Same reason some homosexual people 'try' and be straight.

    If polyamory was more accepted, I do not think we would have half the problems that we do with divorce and such. And just to clarify, I do not mean polygyny, like the sister wives idea, that is only one side of it.

    Also, I never said there had to be a problem in the primary relationship to work on. How many people have been cheated on, and completely blindsided because they were not having problems? Having a secondary relationship, does not mean there is a problem with your primary one.

    Also, I truly believe it is not natural to be with one person, if it was, it would come easy, and we would not have over 50% of people having affairs at some point in their lives. Very few animals are naturally monogamous, it is something that humans created and it really has not gone so well for most of us.

    Like I said before, just because you have another partner, does not make your primary partner any less important, or loved.

    To me, this sounds like you are just trying to come up with a justification for cheating.

    Humans may be one of the only species who is monogamous, but we are also the only species who can make a conscious decision to be monogamous or to cheat. We are also one of the only species that has sex for pleasure instead of procreation.

    Being married isn't always easy, it does take work. But when you have a true, deep connection with your spouse or significant other, it's worth it to put some work into it. Because it's not all about sex, it's about companionship and friendship, too.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    Options
    Cheaters are cowards. Missing something in their relationship, they look elsewhere rather than talking about it and fixing it.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
    Options
    So it today cheat day on MFP? It comes around about once a week or so...

    One word you all need to Google. Monogamish. Or keep searching your partner's phone and ending things when they stray. Whatever you wanna do.

    And when you're all done on your high horse with your judging of others and condemnations you can go back to private messaging your married MFP crush.

    :wink:
  • galegetsthin
    galegetsthin Posts: 1,352 Member
    Options
    So it today cheat day on MFP? It comes around about once a week or so...

    One word you all need to Google. Monogamish. Or keep searching your partner's phone and ending things when they stray. Whatever you wanna do.

    And when you're all done on your high horse with your judging of others and condemnations you can go back to private messaging your married MFP crush.

    :wink:

    I freaking LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • LauraSmyth28
    LauraSmyth28 Posts: 399 Member
    Options
    People cheat because they crave attention from other people. It's nothing to do with the person who is cheated on, and all to do with the person who cheats.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    Options
    People in love don't cheat. It's simple.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    Options
    People cheat because they have no integrity or self respect.
  • greasygriddle_wechnage
    greasygriddle_wechnage Posts: 246 Member
    Options
    So it today cheat day on MFP? It comes around about once a week or so...

    One word you all need to Google. Monogamish. Or keep searching your partner's phone and ending things when they stray. Whatever you wanna do.

    And when you're all done on your high horse with your judging of others and condemnations you can go back to private messaging your married MFP crush.

    :wink:


    :laugh: :tongue: :laugh: :wink:
  • BruteSquad
    BruteSquad Posts: 373 Member
    Options
    To repeat, no need to cheat. Go Poly. Get an alpha girlfriend, and let her be a partner in the decision of future girlfriends. Win/Win
  • Italian_Buju
    Italian_Buju Posts: 8,030 Member
    Options
    People in love don't cheat. It's simple.

    So not true.....
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,291 Member
    Options
    So it today cheat day on MFP? It comes around about once a week or so...

    One word you all need to Google. Monogamish. Or keep searching your partner's phone and ending things when they stray. Whatever you wanna do.

    And when you're all done on your high horse with your judging of others and condemnations you can go back to private messaging your married MFP crush.

    :wink:

    FTW^^^ \m/
  • Roadie2000
    Roadie2000 Posts: 1,801 Member
    Options
    Easy, they just get sick of eating the same old...uh...sandwiches.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,692 Member
    Options
    I think it boils down to a few things.

    Common things cheaters admit to: SO makes them feel like they are taken for granted, SO WANTS to have multiple relationships, SO wants to have sex that you won't do (usually sex that you dislike), SO doesn't find you attractive anymore, SO feels WANTED more by someone who pays more attention to them then you do, SO likes the excitement of "hiding".

    Those are some that I'm sure some will agree/disagree with, but I believe are reasons.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Schraudt814
    Schraudt814 Posts: 496 Member
    Options
    After reading two pages of reasons, I have a different take.

    Humans are not made to be monogamous, but because of the society we live in, many of them try and force it, and it just does not work a lot of the time.

    It does not mean that the person does not love you, love as very little, if anything to do with it. It just means that they need something more in their lives. Sometimes, if the person is committed to staying with their primary partner, and loves them, a side relationship can actually make the primary one better, because that person is fully satisfied and recharged. It does not mean that they do not want to be in the primary relationship, it just means that they need a break for a few hours or a night, it does not mean they do not love to be in the primary relationship either.

    Think of it this way:

    You love your child. If you had another child, would you love your first child any less? No. So why do people feel that way about partners. Just because you have another one, does not make your love for the first one any less.

    I believe people cheat for a million different reasons. But I think the above explanation has a lot of merit.

    I'm sorry but I disagree. I think people use "love" as an excuse. But if you love someone, shouldn't you work on that relationship instead of trying out a new partner? I think people cheat for a lot of reasons but saying "humans are meant to be with many people" to me is a cop-out. If that's the case, why be in a relationship to begin with?

    Because society pressures you to be monogamous. So people try and conform to that. Same reason some homosexual people 'try' and be straight.

    If polyamory was more accepted, I do not think we would have half the problems that we do with divorce and such. And just to clarify, I do not mean polygyny, like the sister wives idea, that is only one side of it.

    Also, I never said there had to be a problem in the primary relationship to work on. How many people have been cheated on, and completely blindsided because they were not having problems? Having a secondary relationship, does not mean there is a problem with your primary one.

    Also, I truly believe it is not natural to be with one person, if it was, it would come easy, and we would not have over 50% of people having affairs at some point in their lives. Very few animals are naturally monogamous, it is something that humans created and it really has not gone so well for most of us.

    Like I said before, just because you have another partner, does not make your primary partner any less important, or loved.

    As a disclaimer I believe I read your previous response in a different tone- having your clarification makes me understand your p.o.v. more,whether I agree or not. But I do have a question for you since the topic is cheating- in your view that it's unnatural to have only one partner wouldn't it at least be better to ensure the other person (or persons) involved feel the same way? And if they do, then does it constitute cheating? While I am not one to agree with being with more than person at a time, what bothers me most about the cheating is the destruction of trust and deceit involved.I find that to be the most hurtful and damaging part of the whole cheating mess. If all involved are open about it then is it still cheating? I would call that an open relationship.

Categories