Why do people cheat?
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I think I love you!:flowerforyou:So it today cheat day on MFP? It comes around about once a week or so...
One word you all need to Google. Monogamish. Or keep searching your partner's phone and ending things when they stray. Whatever you wanna do.
And when you're all done on your high horse with your judging of others and condemnations you can go back to private messaging your married MFP crush.
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People in love don't cheat. It's simple.
So not true.....
Actually, it is. Just because they cry and feel sorry after, doesn't mean that they felt that way when they did it, which means that they don't love you. If they did, really and truly and deeply, they would not cheat. End.0 -
People cheat because they crave attention from other people. It's nothing to do with the person who is cheated on, and all to do with the person who cheats.
This. It's usually all about them....Their heads get too big and they lose sight of what's important.0 -
Wow - common theme - selfish - guessing this is offered by folks that haven't been pushed to that limit?
I did cheat on my husband and wanted to have an open marriage when I did - but it took a while to get him to agree. Why? Our physical relationship was awful and I met someone that made me realize that I might actually enjoy sex after being told for years (10) that I was responsible for our lack of sex life. Turns out I LOVE sex and yes I cheated before we had an open marriage and it did wonders for my emotional well being that had been attacked for years. I did leave him eventually when it became obvious that his toxic ways would never change (I kept holding out hope that it would change).
Now fast foward to 3 years post divorce - I was with a very controlling married man that didn't want me with anyone else - I rebelled against that and did have other partners - he was good for me for a spell but got out of that one a year ago.
Today???? I have recently started dating my dream guy - my dream guy that I had given up hope of finding. I've been open with him about my love of sex and he knows I may stray simply because of hormones - not emotions - and he accepts me as is. Now honestly, I am coming upon one of my typical scenarios where I have sex for the fun of it in a few weeks and I am not feeling the same way about it as I did say a year ago - I don't know how I will respond if the opportunity arises.
Oh and what about him? If he has the chance to be with someone and one thing leads to another so be it - so long as it is just sex and not a prelude to leaving me - leave me first. Sex can be just sex and not making love - but I realize I may be one of the very few women that believes this.0 -
Number 10
Your lady doesn't put out
Every man has heard that the best way to get a woman to stop having sex with him is by marrying her. Apparently, long-term In light of this, I call on lawmakers around the world to create an International BJ Day, where men and women get the day off from work and get all the oral satisfaction they need from their partners. I'll bet that this alone would cut infidelity by at least 75%.
Souldn't it be called BJ and CL Day?0 -
some people cheat because they are being treated like **** at home, they are not appreciated and treated like a door mat, they want a little fun, some excitement and to feel wanted.
Is it right, not at all.0 -
People in love don't cheat. It's simple.
true story0 -
People cheat because they are unhappy with themselves.... and they are looking to fill a void with temporary euphoria and "newness" if you will. When you cheat, the stresses of everyday life (kids, bills, housework, etc.) don't exist in the side relationship. So, yeah... pretty much boils down to being selfish.
^^^^ Absolutely positively THIS ! ^^^^0 -
why not?0
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Ithink its a self esteem issue because its a HUGE ego booster for those who do cheat. ANd sometimes you get caught up in the excitement and before you know it, its too late and you have done somethig you have regretted.0
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I did cheat on my husband and wanted to have an open marriage when I did - but it took a while to get him to agree. Why? Our physical relationship was awful and I met someone that made me realize that I might actually enjoy sex after being told for years (10) that I was responsible for our lack of sex life. Turns out I LOVE sex and yes I cheated before we had an open marriage and it did wonders for my emotional well being that had been attacked for years. I did leave him eventually when it became obvious that his toxic ways would never change (I kept holding out hope that it would change).
Now fast foward to 3 years post divorce - I was with a very controlling married man that didn't want me with anyone else - I rebelled against that and did have other partners - he was good for me for a spell but got out of that one a year ago.
Sounds like a Lifetime movie, lol0 -
I agree with you and think for most cheaters it's a combination of the two factors- they are insecure and like extra attention, or that they are unhappy and don't want to hurt the other person by leaving so they stray. Sometimes people are just a-holes and only care about themselves and that's why they cheat, but in an otherwise caring person it's because of their own personal insecurities or boredom. It's sad that people have to hurt others like yourself instead of just leaving when they should.0
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Cheating is wrong, but the cheated on can hold some blame as well. If the spouse/bf/gf is rarely intimate with their other, it can cause the person being denied to become weak.
Although the person who cheated is at fault, it's a bit easier to understand why they did cheat.0 -
People cheat because they are unhappy with themselves.... and they are looking to fill a void with temporary euphoria and "newness" if you will. When you cheat, the stresses of everyday life (kids, bills, housework, etc.) don't exist in the side relationship. So, yeah... pretty much boils down to being selfish.
That's a pretty good answer!0 -
ThisPeople cheat because they are unhappy with themselves.... and they are looking to fill a void with temporary euphoria and "newness" if you will. When you cheat, the stresses of everyday life (kids, bills, housework, etc.) don't exist in the side relationship. So, yeah... pretty much boils down to being selfish.0 -
After reading two pages of reasons, I have a different take.
Humans are not made to be monogamous, but because of the society we live in, many of them try and force it, and it just does not work a lot of the time.
It does not mean that the person does not love you, love as very little, if anything to do with it. It just means that they need something more in their lives. Sometimes, if the person is committed to staying with their primary partner, and loves them, a side relationship can actually make the primary one better, because that person is fully satisfied and recharged. It does not mean that they do not want to be in the primary relationship, it just means that they need a break for a few hours or a night, it does not mean they do not love to be in the primary relationship either.
Think of it this way:
You love your child. If you had another child, would you love your first child any less? No. So why do people feel that way about partners. Just because you have another one, does not make your love for the first one any less.
I believe people cheat for a million different reasons. But I think the above explanation has a lot of merit.
I'm sorry but I disagree. I think people use "love" as an excuse. But if you love someone, shouldn't you work on that relationship instead of trying out a new partner? I think people cheat for a lot of reasons but saying "humans are meant to be with many people" to me is a cop-out. If that's the case, why be in a relationship to begin with?
Because society pressures you to be monogamous. So people try and conform to that. Same reason some homosexual people 'try' and be straight.
If polyamory was more accepted, I do not think we would have half the problems that we do with divorce and such. And just to clarify, I do not mean polygyny, like the sister wives idea, that is only one side of it.
Also, I never said there had to be a problem in the primary relationship to work on. How many people have been cheated on, and completely blindsided because they were not having problems? Having a secondary relationship, does not mean there is a problem with your primary one.
Also, I truly believe it is not natural to be with one person, if it was, it would come easy, and we would not have over 50% of people having affairs at some point in their lives. Very few animals are naturally monogamous, it is something that humans created and it really has not gone so well for most of us.
Like I said before, just because you have another partner, does not make your primary partner any less important, or loved.
As a disclaimer I believe I read your previous response in a different tone- having your clarification makes me understand your p.o.v. more,whether I agree or not. But I do have a question for you since the topic is cheating- in your view that it's unnatural to have only one partner wouldn't it at least be better to ensure the other person (or persons) involved feel the same way? And if they do, then does it constitute cheating? While I am not one to agree with being with more than person at a time, what bothers me most about the cheating is the destruction of trust and deceit involved.I find that to be the most hurtful and damaging part of the whole cheating mess. If all involved are open about it then is it still cheating? I would call that an open relationship.
This is also a good answer!0 -
At first I thought this thread was gonna be about people cheating by not entering in all the foods they eat or changing the amounts in MFP.
LOL0 -
People cheat for all sorts of reasons and its not always because they're unhappy. Some people are just not satisfied with what they have, they go out and get drunk and before you know it your cheating! I know a bloke who cheated on his intended a week before the wedding on his stag do and really didnt think twice about it and still got married?!?!?
I think people jump into serious relationships way too quickly before getting to know the person properly. I think if your relationship isnt working kids or no kids, just get it sorted before you screw up everyones life...........sorry, I just can't stand anyone who cheats!0 -
no self control And doing what feels good to them is more important than anyone or anything else.0
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THE #1 REASON WHY PEOPLE CHEAT IS SIMPLE: BECAUSE THEY WANT TO! YES SOME ARE SELFISH & SOME JUST WANT TO CHEAT WITHOUT HAVING ANY INTENTIONS OF HURTING ANY1...IF UR SNOPING OR SUSPICIOUS...U ALREADY KNOW THEY CHEATING...LOL...I'VE BN ON BOTH SIDES OF THE TRACK & WHEN I CHEATED, IT WAS BECUZ I WANTED TO, WHEN HE CHEATED & I FOUND OUT IT WAS OVA...THE THING ABOUT CHEATING IS THIS: IF U GONNA CHEAT DONT GET CAUGHT! DUMMIES!0
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People cheat because they have low moral integrity and they aren't worth the air they breathe... It's best just to end things, instead of being a coward and sneaking around. Never cheated, never will.0
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THE #1 REASON WHY PEOPLE CHEAT IS SIMPLE: BECAUSE THEY WANT TO! YES SOME ARE SELFISH & SOME JUST WANT TO CHEAT WITHOUT HAVING ANY INTENTIONS OF HURTING ANY1...IF UR SNOPING OR SUSPICIOUS...U ALREADY KNOW THEY CHEATING...LOL...I'VE BN ON BOTH SIDES OF THE TRACK & WHEN I CHEATED, IT WAS BECUZ I WANTED TO, WHEN HE CHEATED & I FOUND OUT IT WAS OVA...THE THING ABOUT CHEATING IS THIS: IF U GONNA CHEAT DONT GET CAUGHT! DUMMIES!
RIght on! I totally agree with u.0 -
:bigsmile: shallow, narcissistic, flawed and un happy....think that covers it0
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Why do people cheat? Hmmm...I think its because they are not satisfied about what they have. People are always trying to "upgrade" aspects of their life. I honestly don't think you can completely love someone and cheat on them. It makes absolutely zero sense.0
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"As far as I know he still lives in his grandparents attic"
Love this!!!0 -
Geez! After you just described what kind of person he is. Be glad you got rid of him now instead of down the road several years into the marriage. He sounds like a real loser to me. Any guy that won't work and allows his wife to support him and then cheats on her is a piece of **** to me!! Good riddance!!!0
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P.S. You never kknow until your in that situation. You all are saying it is because there selfish etcc... or it is because of this or that but untill you are there you should not judge...just saying0
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"Goodbye to Romance, So long, farewell"0
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Selfish, Unhappy, Lack of Respect, Lack of Love, Lack of Control - all to varying degrees.
People cheat because they are lacking something in their current relationship to the point that they are willing to jeopardize that current relationship to find that one thing they lack. Once they find what is lacking in a different relationship, they usually find something else that is then lacking and the cycle repeats itself, sometimes they get lucky and find their ideal relationship, and sometimes they figure it out and stay single or learn to be happy with what they have.0 -
Honestly? I asked my ex why he cheated and he can't even think of a reason.. Well his exact response was...
" I knew you were at home...20 minutes away, waiting for me in our bed but she was 5 minutes away and right there and ready."
That was his pathetic excuse! MInd you this is the reason I got 3 years later, prior to this....he said I don't know I just did it. So overall HE'S AN IDIOT IF HE CHEATS! Who cares, let him wollow in his mistakes while you live a happy life. Men aren't worth a second thought if they can cheat, same goes for women!
Be faithful if you can't...leave!!!0
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