Why do people cheat?

Options
1246

Replies

  • snoopytwins
    snoopytwins Posts: 1,759 Member
    Options
    So it today cheat day on MFP? It comes around about once a week or so...

    One word you all need to Google. Monogamish. Or keep searching your partner's phone and ending things when they stray. Whatever you wanna do.

    And when you're all done on your high horse with your judging of others and condemnations you can go back to private messaging your married MFP crush.

    :wink:
    I think I love you!:flowerforyou:
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    Options
    People in love don't cheat. It's simple.

    So not true.....

    Actually, it is. Just because they cry and feel sorry after, doesn't mean that they felt that way when they did it, which means that they don't love you. If they did, really and truly and deeply, they would not cheat. End.
  • _Wits_
    _Wits_ Posts: 1,286 Member
    Options
    People cheat because they crave attention from other people. It's nothing to do with the person who is cheated on, and all to do with the person who cheats.

    This. It's usually all about them....Their heads get too big and they lose sight of what's important.
  • Alluring72
    Alluring72 Posts: 50 Member
    Options
    Wow - common theme - selfish - guessing this is offered by folks that haven't been pushed to that limit?

    I did cheat on my husband and wanted to have an open marriage when I did - but it took a while to get him to agree. Why? Our physical relationship was awful and I met someone that made me realize that I might actually enjoy sex after being told for years (10) that I was responsible for our lack of sex life. Turns out I LOVE sex and yes I cheated before we had an open marriage and it did wonders for my emotional well being that had been attacked for years. I did leave him eventually when it became obvious that his toxic ways would never change (I kept holding out hope that it would change).

    Now fast foward to 3 years post divorce - I was with a very controlling married man that didn't want me with anyone else - I rebelled against that and did have other partners - he was good for me for a spell but got out of that one a year ago.

    Today???? I have recently started dating my dream guy - my dream guy that I had given up hope of finding. I've been open with him about my love of sex and he knows I may stray simply because of hormones - not emotions - and he accepts me as is. Now honestly, I am coming upon one of my typical scenarios where I have sex for the fun of it in a few weeks and I am not feeling the same way about it as I did say a year ago - I don't know how I will respond if the opportunity arises.

    Oh and what about him? If he has the chance to be with someone and one thing leads to another so be it - so long as it is just sex and not a prelude to leaving me - leave me first. Sex can be just sex and not making love - but I realize I may be one of the very few women that believes this.
  • dayone987
    dayone987 Posts: 645 Member
    Options
    Number 10
    Your lady doesn't put out

    Every man has heard that the best way to get a woman to stop having sex with him is by marrying her. Apparently, long-term In light of this, I call on lawmakers around the world to create an International BJ Day, where men and women get the day off from work and get all the oral satisfaction they need from their partners. I'll bet that this alone would cut infidelity by at least 75%.

    Souldn't it be called BJ and CL Day?
  • JanetLM73
    JanetLM73 Posts: 1,277 Member
    Options
    some people cheat because they are being treated like **** at home, they are not appreciated and treated like a door mat, they want a little fun, some excitement and to feel wanted.

    Is it right, not at all.
  • tugers2
    tugers2 Posts: 139
    Options
    People in love don't cheat. It's simple.

    true story
  • jdennis719
    jdennis719 Posts: 32 Member
    Options
    People cheat because they are unhappy with themselves.... and they are looking to fill a void with temporary euphoria and "newness" if you will. When you cheat, the stresses of everyday life (kids, bills, housework, etc.) don't exist in the side relationship. So, yeah... pretty much boils down to being selfish.

    ^^^^ Absolutely positively THIS ! ^^^^
  • spudman3212
    spudman3212 Posts: 11
    Options
    why not?
  • sjmgde
    sjmgde Posts: 381 Member
    Options
    Ithink its a self esteem issue because its a HUGE ego booster for those who do cheat. ANd sometimes you get caught up in the excitement and before you know it, its too late and you have done somethig you have regretted.
  • tipyourbartender
    tipyourbartender Posts: 35 Member
    Options
    I did cheat on my husband and wanted to have an open marriage when I did - but it took a while to get him to agree. Why? Our physical relationship was awful and I met someone that made me realize that I might actually enjoy sex after being told for years (10) that I was responsible for our lack of sex life. Turns out I LOVE sex and yes I cheated before we had an open marriage and it did wonders for my emotional well being that had been attacked for years. I did leave him eventually when it became obvious that his toxic ways would never change (I kept holding out hope that it would change).

    Now fast foward to 3 years post divorce - I was with a very controlling married man that didn't want me with anyone else - I rebelled against that and did have other partners - he was good for me for a spell but got out of that one a year ago.

    Sounds like a Lifetime movie, lol
  • kelseyhere
    kelseyhere Posts: 1,123 Member
    Options
    I agree with you and think for most cheaters it's a combination of the two factors- they are insecure and like extra attention, or that they are unhappy and don't want to hurt the other person by leaving so they stray. Sometimes people are just a-holes and only care about themselves and that's why they cheat, but in an otherwise caring person it's because of their own personal insecurities or boredom. It's sad that people have to hurt others like yourself instead of just leaving when they should.
  • angryguy77
    angryguy77 Posts: 836 Member
    Options
    Cheating is wrong, but the cheated on can hold some blame as well. If the spouse/bf/gf is rarely intimate with their other, it can cause the person being denied to become weak.
    Although the person who cheated is at fault, it's a bit easier to understand why they did cheat.
  • semeyer
    semeyer Posts: 282 Member
    Options
    People cheat because they are unhappy with themselves.... and they are looking to fill a void with temporary euphoria and "newness" if you will. When you cheat, the stresses of everyday life (kids, bills, housework, etc.) don't exist in the side relationship. So, yeah... pretty much boils down to being selfish.

    That's a pretty good answer!
  • catshark209
    catshark209 Posts: 1,133 Member
    Options
    People cheat because they are unhappy with themselves.... and they are looking to fill a void with temporary euphoria and "newness" if you will. When you cheat, the stresses of everyday life (kids, bills, housework, etc.) don't exist in the side relationship. So, yeah... pretty much boils down to being selfish.
    This
  • semeyer
    semeyer Posts: 282 Member
    Options
    After reading two pages of reasons, I have a different take.

    Humans are not made to be monogamous, but because of the society we live in, many of them try and force it, and it just does not work a lot of the time.

    It does not mean that the person does not love you, love as very little, if anything to do with it. It just means that they need something more in their lives. Sometimes, if the person is committed to staying with their primary partner, and loves them, a side relationship can actually make the primary one better, because that person is fully satisfied and recharged. It does not mean that they do not want to be in the primary relationship, it just means that they need a break for a few hours or a night, it does not mean they do not love to be in the primary relationship either.

    Think of it this way:

    You love your child. If you had another child, would you love your first child any less? No. So why do people feel that way about partners. Just because you have another one, does not make your love for the first one any less.

    I believe people cheat for a million different reasons. But I think the above explanation has a lot of merit.

    I'm sorry but I disagree. I think people use "love" as an excuse. But if you love someone, shouldn't you work on that relationship instead of trying out a new partner? I think people cheat for a lot of reasons but saying "humans are meant to be with many people" to me is a cop-out. If that's the case, why be in a relationship to begin with?

    Because society pressures you to be monogamous. So people try and conform to that. Same reason some homosexual people 'try' and be straight.

    If polyamory was more accepted, I do not think we would have half the problems that we do with divorce and such. And just to clarify, I do not mean polygyny, like the sister wives idea, that is only one side of it.

    Also, I never said there had to be a problem in the primary relationship to work on. How many people have been cheated on, and completely blindsided because they were not having problems? Having a secondary relationship, does not mean there is a problem with your primary one.

    Also, I truly believe it is not natural to be with one person, if it was, it would come easy, and we would not have over 50% of people having affairs at some point in their lives. Very few animals are naturally monogamous, it is something that humans created and it really has not gone so well for most of us.

    Like I said before, just because you have another partner, does not make your primary partner any less important, or loved.

    As a disclaimer I believe I read your previous response in a different tone- having your clarification makes me understand your p.o.v. more,whether I agree or not. But I do have a question for you since the topic is cheating- in your view that it's unnatural to have only one partner wouldn't it at least be better to ensure the other person (or persons) involved feel the same way? And if they do, then does it constitute cheating? While I am not one to agree with being with more than person at a time, what bothers me most about the cheating is the destruction of trust and deceit involved.I find that to be the most hurtful and damaging part of the whole cheating mess. If all involved are open about it then is it still cheating? I would call that an open relationship.

    This is also a good answer!
  • uglyhobo
    uglyhobo Posts: 108 Member
    Options
    At first I thought this thread was gonna be about people cheating by not entering in all the foods they eat or changing the amounts in MFP.
    LOL
  • LittleTrish
    LittleTrish Posts: 27 Member
    Options
    People cheat for all sorts of reasons and its not always because they're unhappy. Some people are just not satisfied with what they have, they go out and get drunk and before you know it your cheating! I know a bloke who cheated on his intended a week before the wedding on his stag do and really didnt think twice about it and still got married?!?!?

    I think people jump into serious relationships way too quickly before getting to know the person properly. I think if your relationship isnt working kids or no kids, just get it sorted before you screw up everyones life...........sorry, I just can't stand anyone who cheats!
  • Jennloella
    Jennloella Posts: 2,286 Member
    Options
    no self control And doing what feels good to them is more important than anyone or anything else.
  • ShannRenae
    ShannRenae Posts: 54
    Options
    THE #1 REASON WHY PEOPLE CHEAT IS SIMPLE: BECAUSE THEY WANT TO! YES SOME ARE SELFISH & SOME JUST WANT TO CHEAT WITHOUT HAVING ANY INTENTIONS OF HURTING ANY1...IF UR SNOPING OR SUSPICIOUS...U ALREADY KNOW THEY CHEATING...LOL...I'VE BN ON BOTH SIDES OF THE TRACK & WHEN I CHEATED, IT WAS BECUZ I WANTED TO, WHEN HE CHEATED & I FOUND OUT IT WAS OVA...THE THING ABOUT CHEATING IS THIS: IF U GONNA CHEAT DONT GET CAUGHT! DUMMIES!

Categories