Asking a guy out

24

Replies

  • soontobeskinnysara
    soontobeskinnysara Posts: 177 Member
    I've never been afraid to ask someone out. Being formal and traditional is so weird to me though. If I like someone, I say something like "have you been to [this] bar? we should go one day!" or "that restaurant rules. let's go!" it's more of a casual vibe and just makes me feel more comfortable. I think it's silly to not act on something if you're into it!
  • AlwaysInMotion
    AlwaysInMotion Posts: 409 Member
    The guy who says it turns him off when a girl asks him out is a creep weirdo and this never happens to him anyway, so don't listen. The girl who says it would be a problem later down the line because she wants a fairy tale story to tell her family is a... well, I won't say.

    Ask him out. It's a completely awesome thing to do and any male with a personality will love it. Even if he isn't into you, it will make his day and possibly at least pave the way for a friendship.

    Now grow a pair and go for it. ;)

    ^^^ This, this and THIS!!!

    When I was last single (maybe slightly predatory, dating sites have that affect on some people!), I decided to hell with it - I was going to ask out the guys *I* wanted to go out with (not the other way around). The first one was agonizingly hard (he said yes). The next one was not quite as hard (still said yes) and after that it was no big deal. FYI, they're usually stunned that you asked (and no, it doesn't require a cattle prod) and will likely say yes. Just do it. And stop agonizing already.
  • Mykaelous
    Mykaelous Posts: 231 Member
    women are equal to men.
    if you want something, go after it! (or him!)

    I must disagree, men and women are not equal. To be equal would be to disavow our individual uniqueness's.
    You are aware that makes absolutely no sense right? Or are you just trying to sound smart?

    Also, ask the guy out.

    I am assuming that you have incorrectly identified my contextual use of the word equal. The mere fact that we identify males and females with separate words indicated that there are differences.
    The guy who says it turns him off when a girl asks him out is a creep weirdo and this never happens to him anyway, so don't listen. The girl who says it would be a problem later down the line because she wants a fairy tale story to tell her family is a... well, I won't say.

    Ask him out. It's a completely awesome thing to do and any male with a personality will love it. Even if he isn't into you, it will make his day and possibly at least pave the way for a friendship.

    Now grow a pair and go for it. ;)

    My post was not intended to boost the self esteem of some male, or make the world a better place, the post was intended to help the girl land the boy. I suppose the feeling of pain is a better teacher than the thought of it, so in a sense it may be good for her to follow through with your advice even if the advice does not assist in the present goal.
  • women are equal to men.
    if you want something, go after it! (or him!)

    I must disagree, men and women are not equal. To be equal would be to disavow our individual uniqueness's.

    Drum roll please...
  • Cait_Sidhe
    Cait_Sidhe Posts: 3,150 Member
    women are equal to men.
    if you want something, go after it! (or him!)

    I must disagree, men and women are not equal. To be equal would be to disavow our individual uniqueness's.
    You are aware that makes absolutely no sense right? Or are you just trying to sound smart?

    Also, ask the guy out.

    I am assuming that you have incorrectly identified my contextual use of the word equal. The mere fact that we identify males and females with separate words indicated that there are differences.
    The guy who says it turns him off when a girl asks him out is a creep weirdo and this never happens to him anyway, so don't listen. The girl who says it would be a problem later down the line because she wants a fairy tale story to tell her family is a... well, I won't say.

    Ask him out. It's a completely awesome thing to do and any male with a personality will love it. Even if he isn't into you, it will make his day and possibly at least pave the way for a friendship.

    Now grow a pair and go for it. ;)

    My post was not intended to boost the self esteem of some male, or make the world a better place, the post was intended to help the girl land the boy. I suppose the feeling of pain is a better teacher than the thought of it, so in a sense it may be good for her to follow through with your advice even if the advice does not assist in the present goal.
    Is english your second language?
  • Also, FIGHT THE POWER. Ask the bloody guy out. :wink:
  • sisierra
    sisierra Posts: 659 Member
    pft, i say go for it! i don't believe in dallying about and beatin' around the bush, if you want something go for it. Men are often obtuse and you have to be blunt/bold. If you're too shy to ask him out, send him some definite "I'm single" vibes. Or at least go high school with it and send a friend to tell him that you like him, but act like you didn't tell them to do it, you trackin' what I'm sayin? Bold or sneaky, as long as it gets the job done and point across ;D
  • totustuusmaria
    totustuusmaria Posts: 182 Member
    women are equal to men.
    if you want something, go after it! (or him!)

    I must disagree, men and women are not equal. To be equal would be to disavow our individual uniqueness's.

    I would hesitate to make such a broad and generalized statement as that, but I do prefer women to men for certain things and vice versa. We all have our places in life.

    I wouldn't. It is true. We are way more epic. But, you tend to want to be contrary anyway so whatever. :D
  • AlwaysInMotion
    AlwaysInMotion Posts: 409 Member

    I am assuming that you have incorrectly identified my contextual use of the word equal. The mere fact that we identify males and females with separate words indicated that there are differences.

    Really, the only defense you can come up with is semantic? Yes, men and women are DIFFERENT by their inherent physiology. Try avoiding distinctions of EQUALITY and maybe you won't offend every woman (and quite a few equality-respecting men) on this board.

    edit: typo
  • JennieAL
    JennieAL Posts: 1,726 Member

    I am assuming that you have incorrectly identified my contextual use of the word equal. The mere fact that we identify males and females with separate words indicated that there are differences.

    Really, the only defense you can come up with is semantic? Yes, men and women are DIFFERENT by their inherent physiology. Try avoiding distinctions of EQUALITY and maybe you won't offend every woman (and quite a few equality-respecting men) on this board.

    edit: typo

    :drinker:
  • Mykaelous
    Mykaelous Posts: 231 Member

    I am assuming that you have incorrectly identified my contextual use of the word equal. The mere fact that we identify males and females with separate words indicated that there are differences.

    Really, the only defense you can come up with is semantic? Yes, men and women are DIFFERENT by their inherent physiology. Try avoiding distinctions of EQUALITY and maybe you won't offend every woman (and quite a few equality-respecting men) on this board.

    edit: typo

    Is my statement then made false? Also the distinctions between men and women extend far beyond physiology. If one is to admit that the physiology of Males and Females are indeed different, and therefore not equal, biological psychology concludes that the behavioral nature of the individuals would be different as well. The differences between men and women can thereby be extrapolated into nearly every aspect of human experience.
  • bulbadoof
    bulbadoof Posts: 1,058 Member
    The way I see it, if you don't ask, it's a no anyway. If you do ask, it's got a chance to be a yes.
  • JennieAL
    JennieAL Posts: 1,726 Member

    I am assuming that you have incorrectly identified my contextual use of the word equal. The mere fact that we identify males and females with separate words indicated that there are differences.

    Really, the only defense you can come up with is semantic? Yes, men and women are DIFFERENT by their inherent physiology. Try avoiding distinctions of EQUALITY and maybe you won't offend every woman (and quite a few equality-respecting men) on this board.

    edit: typo

    Is my statement then made false? Also the distinctions between men and women extend far beyond physiology. If one is to admit that the physiology of Males and Females are indeed different, and therefore not equal, biological psychology concludes that the behavioral nature of the individuals would be different as well. The differences between men and women can thereby be extrapolated into nearly every aspect of human experience.

    And from this wordy bs you draw the conclusion that a particular social norm or preference should be generalized to all? Aren't you sort of contradicting yourself on some level? Of course there are psychological differences as well as physiological. Cherry-picking psychobabble is what you've extrapolated, dude.
  • Lolli1986
    Lolli1986 Posts: 500 Member

    I am assuming that you have incorrectly identified my contextual use of the word equal. The mere fact that we identify males and females with separate words indicated that there are differences.

    Really, the only defense you can come up with is semantic? Yes, men and women are DIFFERENT by their inherent physiology. Try avoiding distinctions of EQUALITY and maybe you won't offend every woman (and quite a few equality-respecting men) on this board.

    edit: typo

    Is my statement then made false? Also the distinctions between men and women extend far beyond physiology. If one is to admit that the physiology of Males and Females are indeed different, and therefore not equal, biological psychology concludes that the behavioral nature of the individuals would be different as well. The differences between men and women can thereby be extrapolated into nearly every aspect of human experience.

    When someone says "Men and women are equal," they are referring to the social and legal rights/expectations/obligations of men and women.

    Are we all on the same page yet? They are not suggesting that men and women have the same shape/physiology/behaviour/whatever. They are saying that it is not acceptable to base rights and expectations of the sexes on these differences, just as it is not okay to discriminate against any human group based on such differences.

    /sigh.
  • Mykaelous
    Mykaelous Posts: 231 Member

    I am assuming that you have incorrectly identified my contextual use of the word equal. The mere fact that we identify males and females with separate words indicated that there are differences.

    Really, the only defense you can come up with is semantic? Yes, men and women are DIFFERENT by their inherent physiology. Try avoiding distinctions of EQUALITY and maybe you won't offend every woman (and quite a few equality-respecting men) on this board.

    edit: typo

    Is my statement then made false? Also the distinctions between men and women extend far beyond physiology. If one is to admit that the physiology of Males and Females are indeed different, and therefore not equal, biological psychology concludes that the behavioral nature of the individuals would be different as well. The differences between men and women can thereby be extrapolated into nearly every aspect of human experience.

    And from this wordy bs you draw the conclusion that a particular social norm or preference should be generalized to all? Aren't you sort of contradicting yourself on some level? Of course there are psychological differences as well as physiological. Cherry-picking psychobabble is what you've extrapolated, dude.

    My generalizations have been made within the context of the subjects being discussed. As the subject has become more specific and detailed so has my generalization. An example of this contextualization via subject of a generalization is as follows. A Mazda Miata may be generalized to be a car within the subject of objects. Within the subject of cars it may be generalized to be a convertibles. Within the subject of convertibles it may be generalized to be a two seat convertible, and so on. A study of semiotics may be advisable in such an endeavor. Women and men are not equal within the context of a heterosexual relationship.
  • JennieAL
    JennieAL Posts: 1,726 Member

    I am assuming that you have incorrectly identified my contextual use of the word equal. The mere fact that we identify males and females with separate words indicated that there are differences.

    Really, the only defense you can come up with is semantic? Yes, men and women are DIFFERENT by their inherent physiology. Try avoiding distinctions of EQUALITY and maybe you won't offend every woman (and quite a few equality-respecting men) on this board.

    edit: typo

    Is my statement then made false? Also the distinctions between men and women extend far beyond physiology. If one is to admit that the physiology of Males and Females are indeed different, and therefore not equal, biological psychology concludes that the behavioral nature of the individuals would be different as well. The differences between men and women can thereby be extrapolated into nearly every aspect of human experience.

    And from this wordy bs you draw the conclusion that a particular social norm or preference should be generalized to all? Aren't you sort of contradicting yourself on some level? Of course there are psychological differences as well as physiological. Cherry-picking psychobabble is what you've extrapolated, dude.

    My generalizations have been made within the context of the subjects being discussed. As the subject has become more specific and detailed so has my generalization. An example of this contextualization via subject of a generalization is as follows. A Mazda Miata may be generalized to be a car within the subject of objects. Within the subject of cars it may be generalized to be a convertibles. Within the subject of convertibles it may be generalized to be a two seat convertible, and so on. A study of semiotics may be advisable in such an endeavor. Women and men are not equal within the context of a heterosexual relationship.

    Whoa. Learn to rein it in a little. Someone may have gone off the deep end.
  • Mykaelous
    Mykaelous Posts: 231 Member

    I am assuming that you have incorrectly identified my contextual use of the word equal. The mere fact that we identify males and females with separate words indicated that there are differences.

    Really, the only defense you can come up with is semantic? Yes, men and women are DIFFERENT by their inherent physiology. Try avoiding distinctions of EQUALITY and maybe you won't offend every woman (and quite a few equality-respecting men) on this board.

    edit: typo

    Is my statement then made false? Also the distinctions between men and women extend far beyond physiology. If one is to admit that the physiology of Males and Females are indeed different, and therefore not equal, biological psychology concludes that the behavioral nature of the individuals would be different as well. The differences between men and women can thereby be extrapolated into nearly every aspect of human experience.

    When someone says "Men and women are equal," they are referring to the social and legal rights/expectations/obligations of men and women.

    Are we all on the same page yet? They are not suggesting that men and women have the same shape/physiology/behaviour/whatever. They are saying that it is not acceptable to base rights and expectations of the sexes on these differences, just as it is not okay to discriminate against any human group based on such differences.

    /sigh.

    Social expectations/obligations of men and women are completely different within the context of a male and female relationship. To put it blunt i expect a woman to have a vagina as I expect a man to have a penis. That is an expectation based on a physiological difference of men and women. The subject of the thread was male-female heterosexual relationship, not universal rights or humanity.
  • Werglum
    Werglum Posts: 378 Member
    - while pretending not to notice the big argument going on :frown: -
    Ask him!!! I'd never asked a guy out before but my sister talked me into it, fast-forward and we've been together for 11 years, married for the last 4 and a bit and have 2 beautiful daughters together :happy: it worked for me!!
  • Mykaelous
    Mykaelous Posts: 231 Member

    Whoa. Learn to rein it in a little. Someone may have gone off the deep end.

    It depends on your vantage point, but perhaps the usefulness of my comments have run their course. I bid you all good day ;) and good luck to the poster.
  • snw_
    snw_ Posts: 237 Member
    I just asked a boy out today for golf and beers.
  • elcyclista
    elcyclista Posts: 393
    Been out of the dating game for a while... Guys, how do you feel about a woman asking you out? Do you like it, or do you prefer to do the asking? Wanting to ask someone out, but everyone is telling me to wait and let him ask.

    I would prefer it because I can be a bit shy at times.
  • Marper8521
    Marper8521 Posts: 158 Member

    Whoa. Learn to rein it in a little. Someone may have gone off the deep end.

    It depends on your vantage point, but perhaps the usefulness of my comments have run their course. I bid you all good day ;) and good luck to the poster.


    hahahahahahaha - Dude!!!
  • Lolli1986
    Lolli1986 Posts: 500 Member

    Social expectations/obligations of men and women are completely different within the context of a male and female relationship. To put it blunt i expect a woman to have a vagina as I expect a man to have a penis. That is an expectation based on a physiological difference of men and women. The subject of the thread was male-female heterosexual relationship, not universal rights or humanity.

    Women with penises must blow your feakin' mind. XD
  • Prahasaurus
    Prahasaurus Posts: 1,381 Member
    Definitely ask. Many men are shy, and life is short... Also, even those that aren't shy appreciate a confident woman. It's very sexy.

    It's also about your personality. If you're comfortable doing this, what's the problem?

    Good luck.

    --Prahasaurus
  • Prahasaurus
    Prahasaurus Posts: 1,381 Member
    I'm surprised MFP doesn't have a Message Board dedicated to singles. I suppose they don't want this to turn into OKCupid or some other similar site. But my guess is that a lot of people here (not the majority, but still quite a few) chose to improve their health and appearance after a divorce, a break-up, etc. Or just never felt confident enough to get out there and meet someone, until now, thanks to MFP. With improved fitness comes increased confidence, etc., etc.

    But on the other hand, I definitely wouldn't want the boards overrun with strange people pretending to exercise just to try to pick up people here. So probably for the best they don't have this feature... Nevermind...

    On a completely unrelated note, if there are any attractive women here living in the Czech Republic, please feel free to message me... :-)

    --Prahasaurus
  • elmarko123
    elmarko123 Posts: 89
    women are equal to men.
    if you want something, go after it! (or him!)

    I must disagree, men and women are not equal. To be equal would be to disavow our individual uniqueness's.
    You do know that equal & identical are not the same thing?.

    You can be equal but different.

    http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/equal
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
    I would totally ask a guy out! Why wouldn't you? Men are rubbish at that kind of thing. Most of them really can't read signals at all. Apologies to those few of you who can, but most can't.

    I wouldn't in a million years want to be with a guy who thought women shouldn't ask men out.
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member

    I am assuming that you have incorrectly identified my contextual use of the word equal. The mere fact that we identify males and females with separate words indicated that there are differences.

    Really, the only defense you can come up with is semantic? Yes, men and women are DIFFERENT by their inherent physiology. Try avoiding distinctions of EQUALITY and maybe you won't offend every woman (and quite a few equality-respecting men) on this board.

    edit: typo

    Is my statement then made false? Also the distinctions between men and women extend far beyond physiology. If one is to admit that the physiology of Males and Females are indeed different, and therefore not equal, biological psychology concludes that the behavioral nature of the individuals would be different as well. The differences between men and women can thereby be extrapolated into nearly every aspect of human experience.

    Of course males and females are different. But different and EQUAL. In the same way that people from different countries or cultures are different and equal.
  • foodfight247
    foodfight247 Posts: 767 Member
    I say it's perfectly Ok to ask a guy out, however, personally, I prefer to be asked out by the guy. Call me a traditionalist, but that's just me.
  • jetscreaminagain
    jetscreaminagain Posts: 1,130 Member

    I am assuming that you have incorrectly identified my contextual use of the word equal. The mere fact that we identify males and females with separate words indicated that there are differences.

    Really, the only defense you can come up with is semantic? Yes, men and women are DIFFERENT by their inherent physiology. Try avoiding distinctions of EQUALITY and maybe you won't offend every woman (and quite a few equality-respecting men) on this board.

    edit: typo

    Is my statement then made false? Also the distinctions between men and women extend far beyond physiology. If one is to admit that the physiology of Males and Females are indeed different, and therefore not equal, biological psychology concludes that the behavioral nature of the individuals would be different as well. The differences between men and women can thereby be extrapolated into nearly every aspect of human experience.

    And from this wordy bs you draw the conclusion that a particular social norm or preference should be generalized to all? Aren't you sort of contradicting yourself on some level? Of course there are psychological differences as well as physiological. Cherry-picking psychobabble is what you've extrapolated, dude.

    My generalizations have been made within the context of the subjects being discussed. As the subject has become more specific and detailed so has my generalization. An example of this contextualization via subject of a generalization is as follows. A Mazda Miata may be generalized to be a car within the subject of objects. Within the subject of cars it may be generalized to be a convertibles. Within the subject of convertibles it may be generalized to be a two seat convertible, and so on. A study of semiotics may be advisable in such an endeavor. Women and men are not equal within the context of a heterosexual relationship.

    As your writing style devolves, it is clear you're out of your depth.

    I have a vagina. My husband has a penis. We are equal in status. We are not the same. You'd have been far better off if you'd left it at an assertion that we are all unique. It appears I misinterpreted your meaning, but it was to you benefit compared to the douchey stuff about non-equality you've said since.

    And you're using "generalized" incorrectly.