The real "cool kids"...

infamousmk

I am sorry you are right. I just get so sad because everyday I come here looking to read great stories or discover new information. And most of the time I leave within 10 minutes because I am sad and hurt by the things others do or say. I am sorry if I grouped you in with some of those people.

You are quite sensitive to the things complete strangers on the internet do or say, aren't you? I'm sorry to hear that... makes for a lot of feelings!

UsedToBeHusky

I am sorry you are right. I just get so sad because everyday I come here looking to read great stories or discover new information. And most of the time I leave within 10 minutes because I am sad and hurt by the things others do or say. I am sorry if I grouped you in with some of those people.

The point is that no one comes here to make you sad and hurt. They come here to give you the great stories and new information that you are looking for. But you can't get past your own insecurities to see that.

EvanKeel

But what I have seen is the "cool kids" making fun of people for asking ANY question. If someone is new here they don't know the question may have been asked before. Search button blah, blah, blah. Just let them ask. If you don't want to answer again then don't let someone else who really cares answer. Instead these boards have become a place of hostility where others don't want to come for fear of being bullied by the cool kids. Gee, I wonder what we are teaching our kids about tolerance???

I knew I would be flamed for my post. I don't care. Cuz frankly I don't care what any of you think of me. So I am not a "cool kid". Who cares about being part of your mean and snarky group. Id rather have real friends.

I hear what you're saying there, because I've seen some really rude people who seemed to be posting for no other reason than to be rude. I really think there are phases to this journey. They're not necessarily the same for everyone, and they're not necessarily linear. We probably all weave in and out of some of these about different topics in our lives:

The Christmas Morning Phase:
It's Christmas morning and you're motivated. Duh, you just got presents. You want to play with them all. Getting started is kind of like this, and marketing companies are more than happy to peddle presents to you...designed to excite us. The problem is, a lot of it is crap that's actually designed to make us intellectually lazy and inhibit our critical thinking skills. But that seems like such a betrayal that being confronted with that information is not only embarrassing but kind of hurtful. So when the supposed cool kid metaphorical stomps in and breaks all of our toys, it's seen as being very mean.

The Know It All Phase:
I may, or may not, have been known to fall into this category myself from time to time. I plead the 5th. You have more than a little knowledge that's usually fairly context specific but seems fairly general so you think it applies to everyone and every situation, but really you're not sure why it's "True." And sometimes you really do know it all. It's what we do with the knowledge that says something about us as well. You see the Christmas Morning people with some amount of condescending compassion because they're simply ignorant. Sometimes you push them gently to the right direction because you know their dreams are fragile and other times you kick them over a cliff because you' have had it with hearing about how EVIL bananas are. It really depends on how the Christmas Morning people present themselves because sometimes they're not Christmas Morning people at all...sometimes they're in..

The Flat-Out Liar, Willfully Ignorant Phase:
This may be a matter of perspective. Someone latches onto a fitness/nutrition philosophy with such religious zeal that the "science" behind it seems valid. Frequently discussions about authority and sources will devolve into anecdotal evidence that is ultimately unconvincing. Judging whether or not someone is in this phase is tricky. Unfortunately, it's very easy for a Christmas Morning Person to look like a Willfully Ignorant person because the Willfully Ignorant derive a certain amount of self-sustaining energy by dangling presents in front of the Christmas Morning crowd.

The Enlightened Phase:
We're all trying for this, or at least we claim we are. I have encountered very few people who get here without dipping their toes in the Know It All pool when the weather is warm. The Enlightened understand how research functions and they're more than willing to have a discussion about it. Not only that but they're skilled at deflecting logical fallacies and questionable research without sounding like a jerk...even when it seems like other party is just trolling or trying to pejorative in some way. The Enlightened keep their cool and allow the other party hang themselves with their own rope. Their personal satisfaction with themselves is never expressed as humor because it never needs to be expressed at all; it simply is. Their willingness to concede points of failure and growth may or may not be met with their own humor and they probably don't mind other people teasing them. If the teasing is, in fact, cruel--their inner strength allows them to remain confident in themselves without feeding the cruelty by fighting against it. The unfed troll will die of starvation.

WestCoastPhoenix

Did you ever consider that maybe you only "think" you know who the "cool kids" are? No one ever named any names. Just offered a description. You refuted that description with your own description. Do you think maybe we are all talking about two entirely different groups of people?

You beat me to it. I was just about to say this. The really "cool kids" know how to be snarky, sarcastic, and tell it like it is without being mean. The "mean kids" are the ones who do with just for the sake of being mean and without backing it up with advice to help the OP. There's a difference.

The coolest kids don't call themselves 'cool' or 'kids'.

I don't recall seeing not one person taking ownership of this label anyway... so your point is...

You don't recall seeing not one person...so then ...you DO recall seeing one person? Double negative fail. :drinker: My point stands on it's own...people sure do get defensive up in here.

mississippi_queen

Seriously?? I think if you think you're cool then you're cool... Nuff said.

WestCoastPhoenix

The coolest kids don't call themselves 'cool' or 'kids'.

I wasn't speaking of myself.

I wasn't speaking of you either.

Yanicka1

It was a lovely tread

UsedToBeHusky

Did you ever consider that maybe you only "think" you know who the "cool kids" are? No one ever named any names. Just offered a description. You refuted that description with your own description. Do you think maybe we are all talking about two entirely different groups of people?

You beat me to it. I was just about to say this. The really "cool kids" know how to be snarky, sarcastic, and tell it like it is without being mean. The "mean kids" are the ones who do with just for the sake of being mean and without backing it up with advice to help the OP. There's a difference.

The coolest kids don't call themselves 'cool' or 'kids'.

I don't recall seeing not one person taking ownership of this label anyway... so your point is...

You don't recall seeing not one person...so then ...you DO recall seeing one person? Double negative fail. :drinker: My point stands on it's own...people sure do get defensive up in here.

Yeah okay. I didn't catch the double negative. :grumble:

And reviewing your statement, apparently I didn't get the point either. I'm an idiot.

Jon_Rod

You forgot that they don't make fake acounts for the sole purpose of hiding while calling people out. :indifferent:

^^^^^^^^^^^This

UpEarly

I consider nutrition and training to be part of my responsibilities.

Not everyone has a family or children or others to take care of. Some of us just have ourselves and... well... consider fitness and nutrition to be part of taking care of ourselves. Just like laundry, bills and sleep.

I do consider fitness to be part of my daily routine of responsibilities. I just wanted to share my experience with taking it too far. When I was struggling with exercise bulimia, I truly believed that I was just being healthy, dedicated and focused on challenging myself. In reality, I was letting everything else fall by the wayside in my pursuit of being stronger, faster, leaner, lighter and fitter.

(P.S. I didn't have children or others to take care of then either - actually, nor do I now - unless we count my man-child of a husband)

My post was not intended to criticize anyone for being a fitness fanatic. There is nothing wrong with being dedicated to your training, as long as it's not negatively impacting the rest of your life. I just wanted to share my experience with the darker side of being obsessed with fitness.

macpatti

You don't recall seeing not one person...so then ...you DO recall seeing one person? Double negative fail. :drinker: My point stands on it's own...people sure do get defensive up in here.

Thanks for the grammar lesson. You also typed "it's" when it should be its. Its own. Not it is own.

WestCoastPhoenix

Yeah okay. I didn't catch the double negative. :grumble:

And reviewing your statement, apparently I didn't get the point either. I'm an idiot.

Now, now...don't be hard on yourself, you're no idiot. :bigsmile:

suavequeen

:noway: WTH! Great post went downhill? :frown:

WestCoastPhoenix

You don't recall seeing not one person...so then ...you DO recall seeing one person? Double negative fail. :drinker: My point stands on it's own...people sure do get defensive up in here.

Thanks for the grammar lesson. You also typed "it's" when it should be its. Its own. Not it is own.

Thanks for being "that" person. Excellent.

taso42

:noway: WTH! Great post went downhill? :frown:

BrettPGH

:noway: WTH! Great post went downhill? :frown:

The more time I spend on MFP the more I learn that trying to feel good about yourself and what you've accomplished will only attract hate from those who think you're "showing off". They're not happy, so no one else should be. They call that "support".

jetscreaminagain

You don't recall seeing not one person...so then ...you DO recall seeing one person? Double negative fail. :drinker: My point stands on it's own...people sure do get defensive up in here.

Thanks for the grammar lesson. You also typed "it's" when it should be its. Its own. Not it is own.

Thanks for being "that" person. Excellent.

You brought "that person"-itis into the thread. Now its all contaminated. Yet another awesome thread ruined by people and their "yeah but"s and "I'm being flamed" when someone disagrees.

Suffice it to say, this thread stopped meeting the characteristics lined out in the OP and has ceased to be cool.

allysonb80

To answer every one who responds to my feel ing put off by the boards... you are far from the truth. I'm sorry for feeling emapthetic to those people who get run over and beat up fro asking questions. But I feel fine about myself. I am secure in knowing I am working my *kitten* off. I work out. I could consider myself a "cool kid" by most of the standards listed above. Im not insucure. I feel like I am doing the right things by me. Can I do better. Sure. But I am not going to come here and risk asking for help. That is the point I am trying to make. Instead I will do my own research and talk and ask my own friends. Yes, I am sad about the message boards. Do I go home and cry about it? No. Does it affect me in any way. No, other than the fact that I just try to stay away from them. And that is sad (as in empathetic sad) that such a great place can be such a bad place. Glad you all have found what you need form here.

blazeybug87

This is confusing reading...

It's really nice that one person wants to shout about the 'cool kids' and the good they do but at the age we all are should we really care if we are cool or not, particularly enough to cause arguments? I grew out of needing to group myself with others in order to feel accepted a long time ago.

Cool is perspective...what one person views as cool another will view as extremely uncool and therefore posting something like this is will always cause argument as all people having differing opinons.

I'm neither cool nor uncool I am just a happy little nomad who doesn't mind either way if she is accepted by a load of people from the internet... my weightloss is the priority.

taso42

This is confusing reading...

It's really nice that one person wants to shout about the 'cool kids' and the good they do but at the age we all are should we really care if we are cool or not? I grew out of needing to group myself with others in order to feel accepted a long time ago.

Cool is perspective...what one person views as cool another will view as extremely uncool and therefore posting something like this is will always cause argument as all people having differing opinons.

Ho hum...

it's just that there's been this "cool kids" meme sort of going around lately. this thread is sort of meta. you'd have to be heavily invested in the forums here to get it, which would at the same time make you pretty uncool irl. this is a dilemma.

taso42

.

pastryari

I can't help but feel like anyone who's getting butt hurt about this thread had it hit a little close to home for them... Stop being sad and be awesome instead.

Barney FTW

I adore you for posting this.

mevalentina

*****High 5*****

BondBomb

To answer every one who responds to my feel ing put off by the boards... you are far from the truth. I'm sorry for feeling emapthetic to those people who get run over and beat up fro asking questions. But I feel fine about myself. I am secure in knowing I am working my *kitten* off. I work out. I could consider myself a "cool kid" by most of the standards listed above. Im not insucure. I feel like I am doing the right things by me. Can I do better. Sure. But I am not going to come here and risk asking for help. That is the point I am trying to make. Instead I will do my own research and talk and ask my own friends. Yes, I am sad about the message boards. Do I go home and cry about it? No. Does it affect me in any way. No, other than the fact that I just try to stay away from them. And that is sad (as in empathetic sad) that such a great place can be such a bad place. Glad you all have found what you need form here.

Yes I have found what I need from here. Sorry you didn't. I guess Internet forums aren't for everyone. Good luck to you. I'm the meantime can the rest of us go back to celebrating the awesome people that have helped us along the way?
Thanks!

I would also like to thank those that corrected my ignorance and bioscience when I first started. I would rather have my feeling hurt by the brutal truth than to have walked around with that extra 25 lbs I lost. Fortunately I don't actually have feelings so carry on.

jenj1313

Awesome!

I'm going to work on this one with my eating: Have more "good days" than "bad days"

Thanks for the motivation!

Oh... and I LOVE the Max Headroom profile pic!

cmriverside

<<<

---

Someday, you'll be cool.

BondBomb

Wow people are really taking the "cool kids" term personally. Sounds like there is some baggage left from grade school.

jenj1313

Wow... just read some of the replies. Some people took this WAY more seriously than I did. Sigh... I'm going to go feel despondent about the fact that everyone has to get so ramped up and argue about everything now. JK :-)

WestCoastPhoenix

You don't recall seeing not one person...so then ...you DO recall seeing one person? Double negative fail. :drinker: My point stands on it's own...people sure do get defensive up in here.

Thanks for the grammar lesson. You also typed "it's" when it should be its. Its own. Not it is own.

Thanks for being "that" person. Excellent.

You brought "that person"-itis into the thread. Now its all contaminated. Yet another awesome thread ruined by people and their "yeah but"s and "I'm being flamed" when someone disagrees.

Suffice it to say, this thread stopped meeting the characteristics lined out in the OP and has ceased to be cool.

Thank you for recognizing my efforts! :flowerforyou: I do own what I do.

WestCoastPhoenix

Wow... just read some of the replies. Some people took this WAY more seriously than I did. Sigh... I'm going to go feel despondent about the fact that everyone has to get so ramped up and argue about everything now. JK :-)

HEY WE DON'T ARGUE ABOUT EVERYTHING, YOU ARE WRONG