The real "cool kids"...

macpatti

The coolest kids don't call themselves 'cool' or 'kids'.

I wasn't speaking of myself.

soontobesam

Have goals and always move towards them
Make progress, not excuses
Plan their lives around their training and nutrition
Don't skip workouts
Have more "good days" than "bad days"
Take the "bad days" in stride without trying overcompensate for them
Feel the glory when their friends make progress or break records
Are not afraid to laugh at themselves
Are not afraid to make corrections
Tell it like it is
Fight against misinformation
Have answered your question at least 100 times before; yes you SHOULD have tried searching first
Know they are not special snowflakes and neither are you

My mom says I am a special snowflake.

Phoenix59

But what I have seen is the "cool kids" making fun of people for asking ANY question. If someone is new here they don't know the question may have been asked before. Search button blah, blah, blah. Just let them ask. If you don't want to answer again then don't let someone else who really cares answer. Instead these boards have become a place of hostility where others don't want to come for fear of being bullied by the cool kids. Gee, I wonder what we are teaching our kids about tolerance???

I knew I would be flamed for my post. I don't care. Cuz frankly I don't care what any of you think of me. So I am not a "cool kid". Who cares about being part of your mean and snarky group. Id rather have real friends.

I've been an MFP member for a few years, but only recently started posting more often. Whenever I've asked a question, I've never gotten a snarky answer. I do see things turn ugly when the person asking the question doesn't like the answers they're getting rather than the one they want.

As for teaching our kids anything, perhaps they should be taught that not everyone thinks alike and, while we believe they hung the earth, moon and stars, not everyone else thinks so. It's a dog-eat-dog world and the world is an intolerant place. Sorry, but that's reality.

Now...since I almost met the criteria of being a "cool kid," I will not put off my workout. Going to the gym...NOW!

rextcat

awww sh@@snacks im not cool:frown:

allysonb80

JMHO, I think a cool kid is someone who is supportive and doesn't kick others while they are down. Knows the old saying of, "if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all". And remembers that they too were at the beginning at some point and we all have to start somewhere. Even if that start is slow.

I will go now and continue to lurk on the edges of a cruel and unfriendly place, minding my own business with my truely cool friends.

That's just it. If we don't say what you WANT to hear, we're "kicking others while they're down"....No, we're not. We're being honest. We're explaining something that should already be known. We're helping through something called "tough love"....or "suck it up support". I'm not going to lie and sugar coat things just because people can't handle the reality. If you don't want honest answers, don't ask the question.

But what I have seen is the "cool kids" making fun of people for asking ANY question. If someone is new here they don't know the question may have been asked before. Search button blah, blah, blah. Just let them ask. If you don't want to answer again then don't let someone else who really cares answer. Instead these boards have become a place of hostility where others don't want to come for fear of being bullied by the cool kids. Gee, I wonder what we are teaching our kids about tolerance???

I knew I would be flamed for my post. I don't care. Cuz frankly I don't care what any of you think of me. So I am not a "cool kid". Who cares about being part of your mean and snarky group. Id rather have real friends.

But.. but you weren't flamed... The reply was quite polite and succinct. I'm gonna tell a little story now.. gather 'round children (but not really children, since they aren't allowed here)...

I had been a member of MFP for about two weeks and had started visiting the forums. Someone asked a question about women lifting weights and I replied with a bit of knowledge I had carried with me for years - that the way to 'tone' your muscles was to lift low weight at high reps. A "cool kid" corrected me, stating that I had given misinformation, that this belief was long-known to be incorrect, and that I should search for more information about lifting heavy.

The reply wasn't made in a necessarily kind way, there was no :flowerforyou: to let me know they were being suuuper nice and polite. They were stating facts to try to dispel the MASSIVE INFLUX of BAD information we read in the forums every day. I'm a big girl, and can handle that, and decided to search out more information. Learned a lot a long the way. And never once thought someone was being cruel or disrespectful. *I was passing out bad information. If anyone deserves to be told hard and fast that they're wrong, it's someone that is doing something wrong.*

I am sorry you are right. I just get so sad because everyday I come here looking to read great stories or discover new information. And most of the time I leave within 10 minutes because I am sad and hurt by the things others do or say. I am sorry if I grouped you in with some of those people.

DangerSass

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pretty f'ing content with the person I am today. Thank God I have cool friends who keep pushing me forward.

robin52077

I can't help but feel like anyone who's getting butt hurt about this thread had it hit a little close to home for them... Stop being sad and be awesome instead.

Barney FTW

darkknightfan

im slowly weaseling my way into the cool crowd.

UsedToBeHusky

Did you ever consider that maybe you only "think" you know who the "cool kids" are? No one ever named any names. Just offered a description. You refuted that description with your own description. Do you think maybe we are all talking about two entirely different groups of people?

You beat me to it. I was just about to say this. The really "cool kids" know how to be snarky, sarcastic, and tell it like it is without being mean. The "mean kids" are the ones who do with just for the sake of being mean and without backing it up with advice to help the OP. There's a difference.

The coolest kids don't call themselves 'cool' or 'kids'.

I don't recall seeing not one person taking ownership of this label anyway... so your point is...

MizSaz

Haha Robin, glad someone got it.

infamousmk

I am sorry you are right. I just get so sad because everyday I come here looking to read great stories or discover new information. And most of the time I leave within 10 minutes because I am sad and hurt by the things others do or say. I am sorry if I grouped you in with some of those people.

You are quite sensitive to the things complete strangers on the internet do or say, aren't you? I'm sorry to hear that... makes for a lot of feelings!

UsedToBeHusky

I am sorry you are right. I just get so sad because everyday I come here looking to read great stories or discover new information. And most of the time I leave within 10 minutes because I am sad and hurt by the things others do or say. I am sorry if I grouped you in with some of those people.

The point is that no one comes here to make you sad and hurt. They come here to give you the great stories and new information that you are looking for. But you can't get past your own insecurities to see that.

EvanKeel

But what I have seen is the "cool kids" making fun of people for asking ANY question. If someone is new here they don't know the question may have been asked before. Search button blah, blah, blah. Just let them ask. If you don't want to answer again then don't let someone else who really cares answer. Instead these boards have become a place of hostility where others don't want to come for fear of being bullied by the cool kids. Gee, I wonder what we are teaching our kids about tolerance???

I knew I would be flamed for my post. I don't care. Cuz frankly I don't care what any of you think of me. So I am not a "cool kid". Who cares about being part of your mean and snarky group. Id rather have real friends.

I hear what you're saying there, because I've seen some really rude people who seemed to be posting for no other reason than to be rude. I really think there are phases to this journey. They're not necessarily the same for everyone, and they're not necessarily linear. We probably all weave in and out of some of these about different topics in our lives:

The Christmas Morning Phase:
It's Christmas morning and you're motivated. Duh, you just got presents. You want to play with them all. Getting started is kind of like this, and marketing companies are more than happy to peddle presents to you...designed to excite us. The problem is, a lot of it is crap that's actually designed to make us intellectually lazy and inhibit our critical thinking skills. But that seems like such a betrayal that being confronted with that information is not only embarrassing but kind of hurtful. So when the supposed cool kid metaphorical stomps in and breaks all of our toys, it's seen as being very mean.

The Know It All Phase:
I may, or may not, have been known to fall into this category myself from time to time. I plead the 5th. You have more than a little knowledge that's usually fairly context specific but seems fairly general so you think it applies to everyone and every situation, but really you're not sure why it's "True." And sometimes you really do know it all. It's what we do with the knowledge that says something about us as well. You see the Christmas Morning people with some amount of condescending compassion because they're simply ignorant. Sometimes you push them gently to the right direction because you know their dreams are fragile and other times you kick them over a cliff because you' have had it with hearing about how EVIL bananas are. It really depends on how the Christmas Morning people present themselves because sometimes they're not Christmas Morning people at all...sometimes they're in..

The Flat-Out Liar, Willfully Ignorant Phase:
This may be a matter of perspective. Someone latches onto a fitness/nutrition philosophy with such religious zeal that the "science" behind it seems valid. Frequently discussions about authority and sources will devolve into anecdotal evidence that is ultimately unconvincing. Judging whether or not someone is in this phase is tricky. Unfortunately, it's very easy for a Christmas Morning Person to look like a Willfully Ignorant person because the Willfully Ignorant derive a certain amount of self-sustaining energy by dangling presents in front of the Christmas Morning crowd.

The Enlightened Phase:
We're all trying for this, or at least we claim we are. I have encountered very few people who get here without dipping their toes in the Know It All pool when the weather is warm. The Enlightened understand how research functions and they're more than willing to have a discussion about it. Not only that but they're skilled at deflecting logical fallacies and questionable research without sounding like a jerk...even when it seems like other party is just trolling or trying to pejorative in some way. The Enlightened keep their cool and allow the other party hang themselves with their own rope. Their personal satisfaction with themselves is never expressed as humor because it never needs to be expressed at all; it simply is. Their willingness to concede points of failure and growth may or may not be met with their own humor and they probably don't mind other people teasing them. If the teasing is, in fact, cruel--their inner strength allows them to remain confident in themselves without feeding the cruelty by fighting against it. The unfed troll will die of starvation.

WestCoastPhoenix

Did you ever consider that maybe you only "think" you know who the "cool kids" are? No one ever named any names. Just offered a description. You refuted that description with your own description. Do you think maybe we are all talking about two entirely different groups of people?

You beat me to it. I was just about to say this. The really "cool kids" know how to be snarky, sarcastic, and tell it like it is without being mean. The "mean kids" are the ones who do with just for the sake of being mean and without backing it up with advice to help the OP. There's a difference.

The coolest kids don't call themselves 'cool' or 'kids'.

I don't recall seeing not one person taking ownership of this label anyway... so your point is...

You don't recall seeing not one person...so then ...you DO recall seeing one person? Double negative fail. :drinker: My point stands on it's own...people sure do get defensive up in here.

mississippi_queen

Seriously?? I think if you think you're cool then you're cool... Nuff said.

WestCoastPhoenix

The coolest kids don't call themselves 'cool' or 'kids'.

I wasn't speaking of myself.

I wasn't speaking of you either.

Yanicka1

It was a lovely tread

UsedToBeHusky

Did you ever consider that maybe you only "think" you know who the "cool kids" are? No one ever named any names. Just offered a description. You refuted that description with your own description. Do you think maybe we are all talking about two entirely different groups of people?

You beat me to it. I was just about to say this. The really "cool kids" know how to be snarky, sarcastic, and tell it like it is without being mean. The "mean kids" are the ones who do with just for the sake of being mean and without backing it up with advice to help the OP. There's a difference.

The coolest kids don't call themselves 'cool' or 'kids'.

I don't recall seeing not one person taking ownership of this label anyway... so your point is...

You don't recall seeing not one person...so then ...you DO recall seeing one person? Double negative fail. :drinker: My point stands on it's own...people sure do get defensive up in here.

Yeah okay. I didn't catch the double negative. :grumble:

And reviewing your statement, apparently I didn't get the point either. I'm an idiot.

Jon_Rod

You forgot that they don't make fake acounts for the sole purpose of hiding while calling people out. :indifferent:

^^^^^^^^^^^This

UpEarly

I consider nutrition and training to be part of my responsibilities.

Not everyone has a family or children or others to take care of. Some of us just have ourselves and... well... consider fitness and nutrition to be part of taking care of ourselves. Just like laundry, bills and sleep.

I do consider fitness to be part of my daily routine of responsibilities. I just wanted to share my experience with taking it too far. When I was struggling with exercise bulimia, I truly believed that I was just being healthy, dedicated and focused on challenging myself. In reality, I was letting everything else fall by the wayside in my pursuit of being stronger, faster, leaner, lighter and fitter.

(P.S. I didn't have children or others to take care of then either - actually, nor do I now - unless we count my man-child of a husband)

My post was not intended to criticize anyone for being a fitness fanatic. There is nothing wrong with being dedicated to your training, as long as it's not negatively impacting the rest of your life. I just wanted to share my experience with the darker side of being obsessed with fitness.