So upset & discouraged! :(

13

Replies

  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    treadmill wont do anything for you but give yo ua good warm up.

    I'd suggest 3 half hour sessions on the weights to start.

    Get NROLFW - im loving this book so much.

    I was 36% body fat last february and now im at about 23% - it's MORE FUN to lose body fat % than to lose pounds TRUST ME BABE!

    DO NOT AT ALL BE DISCOURAGED!!!!

    Know why?

    Now you know you dont have to kill yourself on cardio
    Now you know you dont have to workout 15 hours a week
    Now you know that its far simpler than you expected.
    Now you know you can have gorgeous svelte muscular defined legs that will show all the beautiful lines and ridges that make jaws drop

    Youre just changing from cardio based to weight/nutrition based- which is what almost all of the successful people on MFP are involved in.

    AND

    losing weight helps you look better in clothes
    getting strong makes you damn sexy nekkid!\

    Its all about how YOU choose to see this.

    DECIDE that THIS is the bright shiny day when everything opens up ahead of you and you can grab it by the balls and own it and show everyone who doesnt think you can change your body and your life... that you already started to and they are simply falling behind.

    OWN THIS DAY. DONT RUE THIS DAY!

    ALLL of this...because Yoovie has it down like a rockstar! ++++++Don't let the TRAINERS tell you that you NEED a trainer! Girl...get the book that Yoovie is talking about. A MAZING!

    ^^ I second this!! Yoovie knows!!
  • sschmidt928
    sschmidt928 Posts: 39 Member
    First of all - the guy is a jerk. (Insert stronger word of your choice here). That was his idea of a hard sell, and frankly, he failed. Making someone want to quit is not exactly gonna get you clients as a personal trainer. Just my opinion. I'd probably have told him to enjoy the view of my fat rear end my the way out. You should report him to the gym management, and if they share his opinions, defend him, or continue to make you feel bad about yourself, get your money back and find a gym that's a better fit for you.

    Second - OK. So now you have some numbers to work with. You have a starting point from which you can plan your own success in your own way. Forget his speech, forget his condescending little rules, and simply take the numbers as they are. They're your baseline, your starting point, your, "Gonna improve these numbers" numbers.

    Third - you are beautiful and strong, and you can and will conquer your goals. Hang in and please don't let one loser ruin your day. Listen to us instead! There's a lot of great advice in this thread. I'm not a trainer and I'm new at the fitness thing but I know that anyone who's gonna make me feel bad about myself is not worth my time.
  • Im_NotPerfect
    Im_NotPerfect Posts: 2,181 Member
    Sounds like he's trying to sell himself to you. I wouldn't listen to a word he has to say. And if you DO decide to get a trainer...go to a different gym. You don't need someone who is so negative trying to "help" you!
  • jmcdaniel0
    jmcdaniel0 Posts: 130 Member
    what's so wrong with trying what he told her?

    I mean... seriously? My trainer said this so Im DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO DO IT?

    I agree with here on some points...

    But. If someone is sedentary, starts running, and is doing the C25K thing. they haven't maxed it out yet, then why wont it work. You are right, once you body adjusts to the running full speed for as many miles as you can, She WILL have to change it up. That is common sense. So you are right.

    I do not agree with the Time spent in the Gym.

    I also do not agree that she cant have the shapely legs she wants. To some degree, her legs will be her legs, meaning they are going to have the same basic shape... Sort legs will stay short.. no matter how many exercises you do.. BUT Running is one of the single best leg exercises she can do.

    A lot of women do not do the weight they should for fear of bulking up... You are right that is a common urban myth.

    A nutritionist would be a good tool to utilize, but is not mandatory... All of their knowledge is online for the most part.

    Same thing with a trainer... a great tool, but not mandatory.
  • astuderus
    astuderus Posts: 31 Member
    Thats a terrible thing to say to someone who is trying. Clearly he doesn't know what he's talking about. JERK.
  • Polly758
    Polly758 Posts: 623 Member
    1) "Running (which I am now at 25mins solid running at 5.7 treadmill speed in C25k) will NEVER get you where you want to go"
    2) "You will likely never have the thin legs you want"
    3) "You MUST spend an hour in the gym three times a week JUST on weight training if you want to be thin"
    4) "You need to see a nutritionist to put together a proper program just for you"
    5) "Women just NEED personal trainers. They never lift as much as they should, and if they do, they certainly don't finish all the reps. If you really want to be skinny, you need a trainer."

    1. Running is good for your health, good for your legs, and good for escaping someone chasing you.
    2. A total lie. It might require more than you're doing, but you can do it. Haven't you seen professional runners? They have very low body fat, especially marathoners.
    3. That would work, true, but it's not the only way to lose weight.
    4. You don't need to. A book or two from the library or a few hours on the internet would teach you what you need to know. Let me guess, his friend is a nutritionist? He gave you a card?
    5. Why, because women are lazy and weak? What a jerk-face.

    Keep on C25k, it's an excellent program. Eat all your calories and don't go over too often. You can lose a pound a week just like anyone else who puts in the effort.
  • buckeyegirl0103
    buckeyegirl0103 Posts: 194 Member

    5. I am a single mom...and until this week...I have done 100% of my workouts at home...Running around my yard literally in circles and lifting the handful of weights that I had...all while my "personal trainer", my 10 yr old son...laughed at how ridiculous I looked...

    In 3 months... I have dropped 24 pounds, gone down 2 sizes in pants...and boosted my confience to a sickening level...so I guess you have to ask yourself...are you going to let someone hold you back...or...are you gonna just do it...and make others stand in awe at what you have accomplished?


    You are a true inspiration!! I am a single mom of 2 girls- while they are with their dad for the summer- I have been working my tail off with the C25K-down 5.5 pounds and can already see inches coming off my waist and definition in my legs! Thanks for posting this- I KNOW i can get the rest off and feel better!
  • Less0Beth
    Less0Beth Posts: 16
    First off, no need to be discouraged at all. You sought some help, and that in and of itself speaks volumes. And who needs skinny legs...just getting healthy and getting to where you feel good about yourself is key. Scales vary all over the place, and depending on how the scale is move or used, it can and does fluctuate by 6-10 pounds. Every wonder why you never move a scale in a doctor's office? It's because they do their best to maintain the scales. Movement of any sort will change the weight. Also, your body weight will fluctuate anywhere from 2-4 pounds daily, all due to your being a woman and slight adjustments your body makes. Just a fact of life. This personal trainer strikes me as a bully and someone who wants to shame you into getting skinny, but could care less about building a strong, intelligent, healthy individual. Hmmmmm, me, I would go with just getting healthy. Logging on here was a huge step. Looks like you are getting some great advice along the way. I tell my girls who are working with me that it didn't take a few days to put the pounds on, so it will take more than a few days to take it off. So, together we can do this. Will it be hard....hate to tell you this but YEP. Can you do it...yes, but it will mean making a commitment and sticking with it. I hate the word DIEt. Take a good look at the word....the first 3 letters spell what....D I E. Either you will die or the plan will die, and it is usually the latter. I like to suggest making a lifestyle change instead. And with anything new, you don't make several changes at once. For me....I am working hard at just maintaining my caloric intake for the day. It looked easy, but man, those calories....the hidden ones especially, really do add up. Do I beat myself up for going over my "limit". Nope!! I just look at the raw numbers, see where I am , and work towards bringing that overall total down the following day. Do I mess up....YEAH!! But you know what....I'm not a Saint, so I am aware that I will mess up. It has made me more fully aware of what goes in my mouth now. So....kick this trainer to the curb. Freebie or not, he isn't worth messing with. Instead, hook up with some of the people here on this site who will work with you. I am blessed in that I love Disney and have several Disney fans who want to get "refined and re-defined" before our next Disney trip. So, we are working hard and holding each other accountable on a daily basis. This works for us. There are so many good challenges out there. Have you heard of the Lose A Marathon challenge? It is a challenge set up by a gal who wants to lose 26.2 pounds (the amount of miles in a full marathon) by the end of summer. That means losing 2 pounds per week for 13 weeks. Having run 3 half-marathons, I can tell you that is no piece of cake....so the idea of losing 26 pounds really intrigues me. You can find her site by going online and checking out Run With Jess Weight Loss Challenge or Lose A Marathon Challenge. I have faith in you. As I tell my group.....we all have a shape. We just need to refine and re-define what we have so we can feel more comfortable with the shapes we have. Good luck and keep on trying.....you will get there.
  • I have lost one pound, I should be happy, I,m so over weight, I feel the way you do. I must be doing something wrong, mabe we could teem up and lose it together:if you want to try it, i,m willing to give it my best shot, sometimes two heads are better than one.
  • My sister used to be overweight. She started out walking and now runs. She runs outside and on her treadmill. She also bike rides and ice skates (in the winter). She (as far as I know) has never been to a gym. She never consulted with a trainer. She has never gone to a nutritionist. She eats healthy foods and nonhealthy foods. On holidays, she eats what she wants. She looks really good. She exercises a lot. She will always have bigger hips and thighs because that is her make up. She has always been bigger in those areas. I wouldn't let anyone discourage you. I would think that trainer is one to avoid. If I had the money to go to a trainer, I would want a motivating, positive one. Do I know I need to improve my physical fitness and lose body (a ton) of body fat? YES! Do I need someone to point that out to me all the time? No. I may need some advice and guidance about the way to do it, but I don't want to pay someone to tell me things I already know. You are doing fabulous on your own! Don't get discouraged!
  • VanessaGS
    VanessaGS Posts: 514 Member
    Is that what the trainer told you. That's such BS. I'm dropping weight and I don't use a personal trainer. All you need is will power. Also, I wonder if the scaled at the gym are whack because I remember when I had my free hour with the trainer the scale also disappointed me by showing about a five lb difference. Sometimes they just use those words to make you think you need a trainer. Don't get me wrong they're not bad but I'm sorry I could prolly only afford one session a month, and if you ask me 1 hour in 30 days is not going to help me lose weight.
  • Jacole18
    Jacole18 Posts: 716 Member
    I'm a fat *kitten*, so I'm by no means an expert on weight loss or exercise, but the info that trainer told you ANGERS me! You don't have to kill yourself in the gym in order to get healthier. I try and do an hour a day and some weights mixed in, and I'm doing fine. I feel better, and I look better. Don't listen to them....smile and begin a routine that feels comfortable for you! You can do this!! :)
  • ShannRenae
    ShannRenae Posts: 54
    U R PERFECT JUST THE WAY U R...THE TRAINER WAS CLEARLY AN IDIOT!!!! IF U LOST 1 LB...U'D BE IN THE CORRECT RANGE...A**HOLE!
  • sarahrbraun
    sarahrbraun Posts: 2,261 Member
    whoever told you that apparently hasn't seen my profile pics!!

    I started out Feb 6th at 228.4lbs...I went to the gym and walked at less than 3.4mph for up to 65 minutes 3-4x a week. I do a whopping 25 minutes of strength 3-4x per week.

    As of this morning, I am 209.2
  • Alexstrasza
    Alexstrasza Posts: 619 Member
    I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he rigged the scale to be 5lbs or more heavier so that clients would feel discouraged when they see him.
  • he sounds a total idiot ... you can and will get to where you want to be!!! yes it may not be easy but you certainly do not need to listen to ****e advice like that doll ... chin up xxxxx
  • steppingstones
    steppingstones Posts: 560 Member
    What a jerk! Certainly not respectful...run the other way. :heart:
  • linda1243
    linda1243 Posts: 166
    Don't let one person's OPINION hinder your progress. I say you go to the success stories and read through them. They are full of people who succeeded through all sorts of ways...cardio only, cardio/strength combined, eating back exercise calories, not eating them back, with a personal trainer, without a personal trainer etc... there are a lot of ways to lose weight but I think the most important way is to be positive. You can do this. Look at the ones who have gone before you.
  • Bretto
    Bretto Posts: 196 Member
    Based on your measurements, I bet you body fat is not that high. A lot of times trainers will measure in a way that makes it look bigger so they have more ammo on selling you sessions.

    Just keep at what you are doing. You will do great.
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
    I had a Free Fitness Evaluation today with a Personal Trainer at my new gym. Results:

    Height: 5'7"
    Weight: 160.2lbs (which is fully FIVE more than my home scale)

    Measurements:
    Chest: 34" Waist: 29" Hips: 40" Each Leg: 25" Each Arm: 12"

    Body Fat Percentage: 35%
    Total Body Fat: 57.1lbs

    After telling me that my body fat percentage puts me at OVERWEIGHT bordering on OBESE...

    1) "Running (which I am now at 25mins solid running at 5.7 treadmill speed in C25k) will NEVER get you where you want to go"
    2) "You will likely never have the thin legs you want"
    3) "You MUST spend an hour in the gym three times a week JUST on weight training if you want to be thin"
    4) "You need to see a nutritionist to put together a proper program just for you"
    5) "Women just NEED personal trainers. They never lift as much as they should, and if they do, they certainly don't finish all the reps. If you really want to be skinny, you need a trainer."

    Now I don't know WHERE I am... :sad:


    USED Car Salesman...Auto Repair Jockey...WHEN are WOMEN gonna LEARN! These guys are PAID to make you feel BAD about YOU! Otherwise, how will they get paid!? Anyway, where is the COMMON SENSE in all of this.

    Stats say little girls start "Retreating" from activities and "being smart" around 10 years old...WHY, because the "World" tells them how they should look (and MOST of us don't fit the Bill, so they become self-haters) and that "guys" don't like competition from girls/so to get one you must act dumb. SOoOoOo here WE are, STILL. Just FIX what YOU think is wrong, just get to fixing it...eventually YOU will come to this conclusion, just LIVE Long Enough!
  • YepLilly
    YepLilly Posts: 129 Member
    5) "Women just NEED personal trainers. They never lift as much as they should, and if they do, they certainly don't finish all the reps. If you really want to be skinny, you need a trainer."

    I don't know what gets me more. The lame sales pitch or the blatant sexism "women just need someone to rescue them". Give me a break!
  • Di3012
    Di3012 Posts: 2,247 Member
    I had a Free Fitness Evaluation today with a Personal Trainer at my new gym. Results:

    Height: 5'7"
    Weight: 160.2lbs (which is fully FIVE more than my home scale)

    Measurements:
    Chest: 34" Waist: 29" Hips: 40" Each Leg: 25" Each Arm: 12"

    Body Fat Percentage: 35%
    Total Body Fat: 57.1lbs

    After telling me that my body fat percentage puts me at OVERWEIGHT bordering on OBESE...

    1) "Running (which I am now at 25mins solid running at 5.7 treadmill speed in C25k) will NEVER get you where you want to go"
    2) "You will likely never have the thin legs you want"
    3) "You MUST spend an hour in the gym three times a week JUST on weight training if you want to be thin"
    4) "You need to see a nutritionist to put together a proper program just for you"
    5) "Women just NEED personal trainers. They never lift as much as they should, and if they do, they certainly don't finish all the reps. If you really want to be skinny, you need a trainer."

    Now I don't know WHERE I am... :sad:

    I can never make out why some people do not consider running will get you where you want to go. That has NOT been my experience, ever.

    How dare they say you will likely never have the thin legs you want - is that so don't believe it, sorry. Mine were 25" each when I first started, they are a smidgeon above 21" now - I only did running, it worked.

    I never went to the gym bar three times during the six 1/2 months I was losing weight - go to the gym if you want to, not because somebody is threatening you will never lose weight unless you do go. That smacks of emotional blackmail plus it is far from true.

    Some women can do quite okay on their own thanks very much, you may be one of those people. Quick question, how much would you be paying that personal trainer? Don't forget they are also touting for business.
  • Di3012
    Di3012 Posts: 2,247 Member
    I see absolutely nothing wrong with what the trainer said and I dont know how he delivered the news but he's right for a few reasons.

    1) "Running (which I am now at 25mins solid running at 5.7 treadmill speed in C25k) will NEVER get you where you want to go"

    The point of working out is to go from inefficient to efficient and back down to inefficient and up and down. Its about improving. You cant improve on one thing forever indefinitely. If you master your run workout, then you arent challenging your body anymore. Youre just going to have to run more and more and MORE and MORE and harder and farther and all uphill and eventually youre just not going to have time to just make this happen via running. He's right.

    Running is an EXCELLENT SUPPLEMENT but not the be all end all of getting in shape. Sure you'll lose weight... but it most likely wont leave you with a body that you want to show off naked if all youre doing is running >6mph >30 minutes

    2) "You will likely never have the thin legs you want"

    Embrace your actual body type and love who you really are and are meant to be - not trying to get someone else's legs. Watch your own beautiful legs develop like a polaroid and then show off those beautiful puppies like youve got a million dollar insurance policy on them.

    3) "You MUST spend an hour in the gym three times a week JUST on weight training if you want to be thin"

    This is the part I dont necessarily agree with as far as wording, but 2-3 hours a week dedicated to weights is right and will deliver results. Dont want to go to the gym- check out the body weight circuits and such on nerdfitness.com. They will kill you in your livingroom in under 30 minutes and it HURTS SO GOOD.

    4) "You need to see a nutritionist to put together a proper program just for you"

    ... because you didnt go to college to study the little fine points of what eating can really change for you! If you talk to a nutritionist (god i wish i could!!!) and they show you things you could LOVE to eat that would naturally help whittle away that body fat faster than anything you could do without assistance.............. HOW IS THIS BAD??????

    5) "Women just NEED personal trainers. They never lift as much as they should, and if they do, they certainly don't finish all the reps. If you really want to be skinny, you need a trainer."

    You know what- i agree with this. Even if its just to meet with him two or three times. Because its been beaten into girls heads to do 100 reps of 7 pound weights to have small slender girly muscles and you sometimes need to pay someone to beat that OUT OF YOUR HEAD. Most girls dont lift as heavy as they should and and I certainly have to stop sometimes before finishing my last two reps - but having someone there to believe in you and help you get all the propaganda youve been fed OUTTA your system.... is AMAZING help!!


    geeeeeeeeeeeeeez if you dont want your trainer, i'll take him- i think he's awesome.

    Well you seem to be the only one so far who thinks so. I don't think you would have trouble with him fitting you in, there seems to be a distinct lack of a queue.
  • Di3012
    Di3012 Posts: 2,247 Member
    what's so wrong with trying what he told her?

    I mean... seriously? My trainer said this so Im DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO DO IT?

    Because Yoovie, it is BS.

    Running is excellent, both for the heart and to assist burning fat along with a calorie controlled diet.

    Not everybody needs weights you know, not everybody wishes to lift heavy. People CAN and DO lose weight without going to a gym, this contradicts what that trainer was rabbiting on about.

    That Personal Trainer is desperately touting for business, he actually made the OP come away on a downer, feeling completely and utterly negative about herself. Yeah, that is a job well done - not.

    What he was saying was not true, he is selling his wares which is for his own benefit, not for the benefit of a potential client.
  • sherrybaby81
    sherrybaby81 Posts: 257 Member
    Total bull. When I lost my weight before, I hardly exercised (maybe once a week for 3 months for like 45 minutes each time) and lost almost 70 lbs. Sure I wasn't muscular, but I was and am fine with that. I was thin and healthier than I had been and happy.
  • katejkelley
    katejkelley Posts: 839 Member
    Dump that trainer! I have lost 10 pounds on this site and haven't set foot in a gym. I walk, golf, do yoga and pilates in my basement, and stay below my calorie limit. That's all you need to do. Eat better and get more exercise. You can have the body you want.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    what's so wrong with trying what he told her?

    I mean... seriously? My trainer said this so Im DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO DO IT?

    Because Yoovie, it is BS.

    Running is excellent, both for the heart and to assist burning fat along with a calorie controlled diet.

    Not everybody needs weights you know, not everybody wishes to lift heavy. People CAN and DO lose weight without going to a gym, this contradicts what that trainer was rabbiting on about.

    That Personal Trainer is desperately touting for business, he actually made the OP come away on a downer, feeling completely and utterly negative about herself. Yeah, that is a job well done - not.

    What he was saying was not true, he is selling his wares which is for his own benefit, not for the benefit of a potential client.

    You are cynical.
  • Lkoblara
    Lkoblara Posts: 137 Member
    Sounds like making their clients upset and vulnerable is a business tactic for them. Make you think that you can never reach your goals without them so you have to sign up with a personal trainer. "Women NEED trainers." And what kind of sexist BS is that? I wouldn't go back to that gym anymore if I were you.
  • amivox
    amivox Posts: 441 Member
    I had a Free Fitness Evaluation today with a Personal Trainer at my new gym. Results:

    Height: 5'7"
    Weight: 160.2lbs (which is fully FIVE more than my home scale)

    Measurements:
    Chest: 34" Waist: 29" Hips: 40" Each Leg: 25" Each Arm: 12"

    Body Fat Percentage: 35%
    Total Body Fat: 57.1lbs

    After telling me that my body fat percentage puts me at OVERWEIGHT bordering on OBESE...

    1) "Running (which I am now at 25mins solid running at 5.7 treadmill speed in C25k) will NEVER get you where you want to go"
    2) "You will likely never have the thin legs you want"
    3) "You MUST spend an hour in the gym three times a week JUST on weight training if you want to be thin"
    4) "You need to see a nutritionist to put together a proper program just for you"
    5) "Women just NEED personal trainers. They never lift as much as they should, and if they do, they certainly don't finish all the reps. If you really want to be skinny, you need a trainer."

    Now I don't know WHERE I am... :sad:

    Pretty sure that dude sold you a load of crap. Running will get you where you want to go as far as straight weight loss if you are maintaining a deficit
    Number 2 could be true, but it could also not be true. I don't know your specific body type
    You can weight train at home...
    If you can afford a nutritionist, I guess it wouldn't hurt to have one, but I have lost 32 lbs without one just by making better, healthier food choices and trying to hit my macros as best I can.
    You absolutely do NOT need a trainer. Get a copy of the New Rules of Lifting for Women and save yourself hundreds of dollars.

    People that work at gyms get incentives for signing people up for extras. They will tell you anything to make money.
  • rdy2lose
    rdy2lose Posts: 106
    I completely agree this person is only trying to jack up your bill and income for the gym. Go look at the success page and tell them to take a hike!