How Do You Know When It's Time To Stop?

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  • janemem
    janemem Posts: 575 Member
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    i dont know how to do it. i keep pushing my goal lower also -- or just keep saying in my head i will stop after i lose another 20. i will still be in a good bmi range but my friends and family dont seem to think so.

    That's exactly what I'm like, even though I'm getting pressure from friends/family I always want to just get down that last extra little bit.
  • janemem
    janemem Posts: 575 Member
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    [ramble alert]

    Regarding the suggestions of an ED, it's possible. From personal experience, I can see that it's quite easy to become anorexic (in one's approach to food). I was starting to hate food as I started to think that eating is doing the opposite of what I wanted to achieve... like accelerating with a foot on the brake. I also hate bodily functions that waste time... like cooking/eating, personal hygiene (washing, shaving), toilet usage - you don't achieve anything and they are not enjoyable activities... obviously, I do them for self-respect issues but I still view such activities as tedious. Point is, I could see how I could slide into an ED. (As you can see from my food diary, though, I do eat an average of 1900 calories a day.)

    Darren I'm the opposite as regards to my feelings about food. I love it, am obsessed with the stuff! I spend most of my days planning meals for my son and I also cook to sell to friends (preserves/cookies/cakes etc). I literally enjoy nothing more than thinking about food and I will readily admit that I am a 'feeder' which is great, just so long as it's other people eating the damn stuff, lol!
    As regards to your other points about tedious activities (aside from cooking) I agree, I have to force myself to make myself presentable sometimes because A) it's too much effort and B) what's the point anyway?
    I have not looked at your diary but I will now if that's ok with you?
  • janemem
    janemem Posts: 575 Member
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    If you haven't already, start lifting heavy.. and you'll get out of that either only skinny or only fat phase.

    I knew I was done just by how I looked in the mirror.. and the fact that I was fitting into a size 4 clothes.. which I haven't worn since high school!
    ^^^^This! Weight training by lifting heavy gives you that beautiful toned skin and tissues and body...satisfyingly trim, fit, healthy look that does not need a scale to affirm it...lift heavy and fuel your body for the weight training efforts to get an awesome look!:)MinMin

    Catch22. I don't have the energy for weight lifting, to get the energy I'd need to eat loads and I don't want to do that and risk gaining weight.
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
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    Aim for a body fat percentage rather than a weight.

    Once your body composition is roughly where you want it, make goals that are performance based, i.e., weight lifting benchmarks, running benchmarks, etc.
  • jhoyett
    jhoyett Posts: 92 Member
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    Definitely sounds more psychological and borderline dangerous. You may want to talk to a therapist...
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    Maybe lock the scale away for a week or two and stop eating at a deficit that amount of time as well.

    If you cannot fathom doing something like that for fear of gaining weight, I have to go with the others who suggest seeing a therapist - just to make sure your perception of yourself is healthy.
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
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    Darren I'm the opposite as regards to my feelings about food. I love it, am obsessed with the stuff! I spend most of my days planning meals for my son and I also cook to sell to friends (preserves/cookies/cakes etc). I literally enjoy nothing more than thinking about food and I will readily admit that I am a 'feeder' which is great, just so long as it's other people eating the damn stuff, lol!
    As regards to your other points about tedious activities (aside from cooking) I agree, I have to force myself to make myself presentable sometimes because A) it's too much effort and B) what's the point anyway?
    I have not looked at your diary but I will now if that's ok with you?

    Of course it is ok otherwise I'd have locked it. :-D Since you're into cooking, I expect you're horrified by my diet.
  • sa11yjane
    sa11yjane Posts: 491 Member
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    I wonder if you are focusing on your weight loss as a way of avoiding ackowledging the feelings that you may have of missing your husband? Find a reputable site to see how much you should weigh and if you fall within the weight given then maybe go onto a maintenance plan and find some other outlet for your feelings, maybe a hobby or meeting some friends to keep your spirits up and to prevent you from becoming bored or lonely x
  • jetscreaminagain
    jetscreaminagain Posts: 1,130 Member
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    The thinking and behaviors you are describing are dangerous and unhealthy. It is most likely far beyond time to stop. The people who love you are expressing concern. Your thoughts and behavior about food sound obsessive. You are not modeling healthy behavior for you son.

    Please get help. Please don't fill your friends list with pro-ana folks you can find around here.

    Now is the time to stop.
  • susannamarie
    susannamarie Posts: 2,148 Member
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    You're lacking energy, you're not eating much, you're paranoid of dietary fat and hyper-concerned about gaining weight even though you're at the bottom end of the BMI range and in children's sizes.

    You really need to talk to your GP about this :(

    The longer you put it off, the harder it will be.
  • MsEmmy
    MsEmmy Posts: 254 Member
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    I already replied but wanted to add this.....what messages are you sending to your son if he never sees you eat? How one earth is he going to have a normal relationship with food if you don't set an example? See a professional for your son's sake if not for yourself. The only way you are heading now is to the hospital if you carry on like this. Sorry to sound harsh but it is done only in kindness.

    Hiding in your bed to eat food? Too tired to exercise or do normal activities? Eating half of the minimum calories you should in a day? Admitting you look terrible? Why are you punishing yourself, my love? People have offered some good advice - you can stay slim AND be healthy, but that is not what you are doing right now. You need some strength to be a good Mum to your boy. What you have right now is a control issue, a safety net you have created to save yourself from looking at bigger problems. You really, REALLy need to talk to a professional.:flowerforyou:
  • kazza2cats
    kazza2cats Posts: 87 Member
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    I can relate. I've sent you a private message and friend request. :flowerforyou:

    Sorry after seeing your diary I realize I can't relate.
  • kazza2cats
    kazza2cats Posts: 87 Member
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    I hope you find the help you need.
  • dorothytd
    dorothytd Posts: 1,138 Member
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    I can relate. I've sent you a private message and friend request. :flowerforyou:

    Sorry after seeing your diary I realize I can't relate.

    I have to say the same. Not a criticism of what is on there, but you need to eat much more than you are. It would be good to see a doctor or nutritionist. Best wishes on your journey.

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