Secrets to building quick muscle unlocked

13

Replies

  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
    If building quick muscle is your goal, follows the secret tips below. Research has unlocked the secrets to building muscle, and shedding body fat.
    1) Consume a protein shake pre workout, and another protein shake within 37 mins post workout.
    2) Only eat egg whites, yolks make you fat.
    3) You must eat 6 times a day to prevent catabolism.
    4) You must perform at least 4 isolation exercises per muscle group, 4-5 sets per exercise (should take about an hour for biceps alone)
    5) Form doesn't matter, it's all about pushing the heaviest weight possible.

    :noway:
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
    I should also mention that if you're a woman, then you're going to gain twice as much muscle as a male on this regimen.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    You couldn't be more right. The other day at the gym this poor woman tripped and stumbled into the weight rack.. BOOM her arms exploded into muscle and she just started crying. Nothing she could do. Everyone knows women put on pounds of muscle without even trying. One day they're normal looking women and then POOF, professional level body builders.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • dlwyatt82
    dlwyatt82 Posts: 1,077 Member
    Step 1) Steroids.
    Step 2) Whatever. :laugh:
  • Angie_1MR
    Angie_1MR Posts: 247
    Idiot
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
    Wonderful!
    You covered well all the gym myths:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • OvOv
    OvOv Posts: 50
    This is my favourite bit: "5) Form doesn't matter, it's all about pushing the heaviest weight possible."

    Yeah....if you want to get a million long-term injuries...
  • jolarocknrolla
    jolarocknrolla Posts: 236 Member
    Are you from /fit/ ? Seriously, this is now a /fit/ thread

    >mfw no greentext
  • OvOv
    OvOv Posts: 50
    LOL
  • ESVABelle
    ESVABelle Posts: 1,264 Member
    I've been considering a new workout program...dude, you hit it on the head!

    (with the nude part)

    Now I'm excited
  • Lift_hard_eat_big
    Lift_hard_eat_big Posts: 2,278 Member
    Idiot

    I am far from an idiot, I'm a broctor in bro science!
  • Lift_hard_eat_big
    Lift_hard_eat_big Posts: 2,278 Member
    6b5.jpg

    I don't always lift weights, but when I do, I train biceps. Don't waste your time with squats, men always wear pants anyways, so there's no need to build leg muscles.

    and THOSE guys in the gym NEVER get a second look. EW!

    They must not be wearing the proper gear. Gotta wear a sleeveless or wife beater to show off the guns. But wear sweat pants to hide the spider legs.
  • Jules2Be
    Jules2Be Posts: 2,238 Member
    I have big muscles cause i eats cheese.
  • dusty8907
    dusty8907 Posts: 350 Member
    Don't forget 30 mins minimum of cardio pre-breakfast for massive fat burning mode.
  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member
    Idiot

    I am far from an idiot, I'm a broctor in bro science!

    "Paging Broctor Fpacudan, Br. Fpacudan line two."
  • TeenageSwag
    TeenageSwag Posts: 23
    "form doesn't matter"
    --

    THAT KILLED IT...
    You want me to have back problems dude?
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    "form doesn't matter"
    --

    THAT KILLED IT...
    You want me to have back problems dude?
    The sarcasm is weak in this one.
  • koolmum
    koolmum Posts: 39
    Well, I've been taking HCG and eating 500 calories per day since 2009 and managed to bulk up nicely. Oh, and I only ever use the 3 and 5 pound weights ~ never anything bigger. :wink:
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    Well, I've been taking HCG and eating 500 calories per day since 2009 and managed to bulk up nicely. Oh, and I only ever use the 3 and 5 pound weights ~ never anything bigger. :wink:
    How do you manage your handbag? Those things are like black holes and they weigh a metric tonne.
  • Lift_hard_eat_big
    Lift_hard_eat_big Posts: 2,278 Member
    Well, I've been taking HCG and eating 500 calories per day since 2009 and managed to bulk up nicely. Oh, and I only ever use the 3 and 5 pound weights ~ never anything bigger. :wink:

    You must do Tae Bo :-)
  • Lift_hard_eat_big
    Lift_hard_eat_big Posts: 2,278 Member
    "form doesn't matter"
    --

    THAT KILLED IT...
    You want me to have back problems dude?

    You need to wear a lift belt so you can lift even more weight and not have to worry about good form.

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