How long were you with your SO before you got engaged?

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  • bcl003
    bcl003 Posts: 331 Member
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    I don't put too much stock in marriage - it is a piece of paper given to you by the government approving your relationship. I don't need someone to approve my relationship and I've gotten used to the "why aren't you two married" comments. I'm not a religious person, so that doesn't come into play. Besides, there was always an expectation in my family that marriage = kids and my Sweetie and I decided early on that we would not be having children. So, as of July 1st we will have been together for 19 years and we're not engaged yet! Although we've talked about marriage recently simply so I can add him to my health insurance. My employer doesn't offer coverage to "domestic partners" and we're not getting any younger.

    Actually, the purpose of marraige in the legal sense isn't so that the government can approve the relationship. It is actually more like a business partnership. The marraige contract protects you the same way a contract does in any other sense. I would never dream of going into a business and purchasing a building, hiring employees, taking out a line of credit and signing letters of guarantee with a business partner unless I knew that I had some legal protection in case my business partner/s decided to just walk out and leave me financially ruined.

    I always wonder why couples are willing to move in together, purchase homes and cars, have children and pool their money into one checking account and then don't see the need to get married. At least with a marraige contract, while divorce is possible both parties have the protections a contract provides.
    Not very romantic, but you're absolutely right!

    No actually your not right, in many states all of that equates to being "common law" so it doesn't matter if they walk out and leave they still have to pay for the divorce.
  • hark15
    hark15 Posts: 148 Member
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    About a year and a half until we were engaged - I was ready after 6 months :) - then another 11 months until our wedding (this September). But everyone's different. By the time I met my fiance I was 25 and he was 29 and we both had been in at least one very serious relationship. We knew what we wanted and we were both in stable jobs and knew where our lives were going. I have plenty of friends who have been dating longer but are not engaged yet because they decided to go back to school and/or are still settling into careers, etc. Everyone goes at their own pace - but if you are starting to let it bother you, you should talk to your SO about it!
  • ARDuBaie
    ARDuBaie Posts: 379 Member
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    One year too long. Wish I had never met him. Yep, after nine years of marriage (if you want to call it that) I divorced the jerk and haven't really dated since. I was 23 when I married him.
  • Oliviamarie05
    Oliviamarie05 Posts: 528 Member
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    we were together for 3 years, now four, and getting married on August 4th :D
  • dlwyatt82
    dlwyatt82 Posts: 1,077 Member
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    About a year.
  • cubizzle
    cubizzle Posts: 900 Member
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    We never got officially engaged. We had been dating for a few months and she asked me to marry her while I was in the kitchen and she was lying in bed watching tv. (Small studio apt.) It was sort of a joke at the time, but we ended up getting married 8 months after we started officially dating. We would have done it sooner if we could, but honestly, and this is going to sound terrible, we were both going through divorces when we first met. Timing can be the most important part. After seriously discussing it once or twice we drove to Vegas, as we lived 2 hours away, and we married at the courthouse. We've been married 5.5 years, and have twin 4 year old boys and a 4 month old baby boy. We've left the military, I've finished college, we've moved from California to Illinois, and then to Wisconsin. We've gained weight and lost weight. All in all, we work our *kitten* of to be a family and we love each other for it. Damn, I love my wife.
  • demitraknows
    demitraknows Posts: 82 Member
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    7 months and we were married, but i came from a crazy wild seven years with my ex so at the time anything was better than having someone like him. Its different for many people because right now I have a cousin who has been with her boyfriend since 1994 and they still havent been married and have all of the things that married couples do like a house, cars, life insurance, etc. Its really what you feel comfortable with so take your time and make sure everything feels right spiritually...
  • Aviendha_RJ
    Aviendha_RJ Posts: 600 Member
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    15 months into our relationship here... closing in on 16 months, actually. He hasn't even said "I love you" yet.

    You're YOUNG. I'm 29. Be YOUNG for a while, & don't rush things. They'll happen when they'll happen, if they're going to happen. And if they don't happen, they aren't meant to happen.
  • bck80
    bck80 Posts: 81 Member
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    engaged after 8 months and married after 11 months.
  • Miss_dannii
    Miss_dannii Posts: 1,351 Member
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    Nearly 8 years but we were kids when we started going out x
  • travisseger
    travisseger Posts: 271 Member
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    Got engaged after 9 months of dating. Engaged 9 months before wedding. Been married 16 years.
  • monroe61
    monroe61 Posts: 620 Member
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    We were together for 2 years then moved in together, lived with each other for 1 year then got engaged then were engaged for 1 yr and got married so we were together for 3 years before engaged and 4 years before married and this year is our 7th wedding anniversary. I was 22 and he was 24 when we got married but my birthday was the next month so I was really close to 23 :)
  • spicypepper
    spicypepper Posts: 1,016 Member
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    6 months :blushing: And then it was almost 2 years from our first date when we got married.
  • kiwigal41
    kiwigal41 Posts: 1,059
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    7 years....:).......now married 10 years this year!!!! whew......we've been together 17 years???????? wow...:)
  • RainxPain
    RainxPain Posts: 152
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    I love reading everyone's stories. Especially ones that started out young and have now been marred/dating for several years. So adorable!
  • heathermora11
    heathermora11 Posts: 154 Member
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    dated 6 months, engaged for 3 months, married now for 3 years (yesterday was our anniversary!) might not be right for everyone to go that fast (we were 26 years old, graduated college and working when we met), but it was perfect for us and I am very thankful for our healthy marriage. my husband is my biggest supporter in getting healthy by far and I love him!
  • superstarcassie
    superstarcassie Posts: 296 Member
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    We were dating for 2.5 years before getting engaged- we had a over a year engagement and we are getting married this Saturday!!! :)
  • galaxiegal
    galaxiegal Posts: 90
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    Been together 5 years and just got engaged this past Christmas. We've been living together the whole 5 years. We don't plan on getting married until next year. We've been together so long its more of a formality at this point! :laugh: In our hearts we are already married, and I don't look at other relationships and think "they were married after a year, so I should be too" because I am not in their relationship, and for all I know, they are unhappy and on the verge of a divorce. Also, I am 23, so I won't tell you to "be young" because (well frankly i hate that and) I may be young but being in a settled down, committed relationship rather than dating a bunch of people and club hopping is more my preference in life! So if you are happy in your relationship, be happy! Don't put so much importance on the title (wife, fiance, g/f etc.).
  • _HeyMommy_
    _HeyMommy_ Posts: 323 Member
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    We knew each other a year, 7 days AFTER we got married. lol... dated about 6 months begore getting engaged. (at 21)
    Our 20th anniversary is this coming Jan. :0)
  • sistasledge101
    sistasledge101 Posts: 80
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    he was 32 and I was 25 at the time. we met, moved in together 3 weeks later,got engaged immediately, married 9 months later. June was our 2 year anniversary of meeting. Sometimes you just know its right. this was my second marriage. We are living happily ever after :)
    if you are wanting to get married maybe you should be the one to ask. but don't be pressured about what other people do.

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