Lost weight and now I NEVER get hit on?!?

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Replies

  • pamfm
    pamfm Posts: 93 Member
    More than one male friend confided in me that my total confidence used to get mistranslated in guy's heads as "strong independent lesbian and not interested in you"... But the truth: an independent woman interested in awesome guys and gals. Only those who could take rejection in stride ever bothered.

    Could be that. Could be they think you're out of their league, or it could be because some people prefer a little fat on a woman.
  • LindaCWy
    LindaCWy Posts: 463 Member
    Seems to me like the guys of MFP are hitting on your plenty.... :wink:
  • Moniqua1
    Moniqua1 Posts: 195 Member
    Are you friendly with men? I get a lot of attention from men (not that I ask for it or really want it, I'm very happily married to a great guy haha) and I think that I'm fairly average -if anything- but I'm very friendly, smile a lot and chat people up all of the time. I'm just overly social, I guess. Approach to be approached, I guess? Maybe you need to start being the hitter-oner instead of waiting to be hit on. My husband gets hit on constantly, he's your typical Southern 'good old boy' and just super nice and sweet. Personality is huge, and you can always tell someones personality just by looking at them.


    I'm usually the one being goofy making my girls laugh, if I notice a guy looking my way, I usually get embarrassed, quickly look down and smile. I think that seems not-so-intimidating. Maybe the goofy part scares them away!
  • trophywife24
    trophywife24 Posts: 1,472 Member
    Girl, lock eyes and smile back. They're obviously looking for a reason, you're beautiful! If all else fails, maybe you just need a new change in scenery - different places to hang out, new faces.
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,275 Member
    What trophywife24 said, especially about looking back....appearing embarrassed can be read the wrong way \m/
  • KellyAlyssa84
    KellyAlyssa84 Posts: 90
    You are so beautiful!


    Their loss!
  • Melany502
    Melany502 Posts: 77 Member
    Guys like curves :)
  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
    Ok, so far I've lost almost 15lbs (i lost weight before joining mfp). When I weighed.131lbs, I would go out and would be approached several times, now, I go out and NOTHING! I don't understand! I think I look better and have more confidence, but maybe losing a little bit of weight made me less attractive?! Ugh, I don't know, it's a little discouraging. just needed to vent. Has anyone else had this sort of thing occur?!

    My guess is that many of the guys may actually think that NOW you are way out of their league... Funny thing is... they may just be right... (meant as a compliment). Be patient and the right guy will come along... Best wishes and continue to improve yourself.
  • je551caDan13ls
    je551caDan13ls Posts: 114
    could be youre more intimidating. but beauty is beauty....15lbs heavier......30lbs lighter.....whatever. dont wait for us, see a guy u like , and approach him! :) he'll probably pee his pants

    Great insight...and so true!
  • LeslePG
    LeslePG Posts: 105 Member
    all kidding aside there was a study that showed men who knew the girl use to be over weight is less likely to be attractive to her.
    That sucks.


    Wow, I wouldn't think 131 is overweight, and who would know that about her anyway? You look amazing, they are probably just intimidated :wink:
  • sundaywishes
    sundaywishes Posts: 246 Member
    I looked at your pictures and I agree with everyone on here, except for the person who said you may look haggard. You are one of those women that encompasses several different beauty characteristics. You are beautiful, adorable AND sexy :heart: . You look like you can play to all of those and I bet you are good at it. You know, the beautiful look going out to a nice dinner, the adorable look when clowning around with friends and the sexy look when you go out for a night on the town. Not all women have multiple varietes of beauty and men can certainly see when a women does.

    I really think that men are more intimadated by you and feel like if they went up to you that you would either just laugh in their face, be a a b****, or do the sometimes even more embarrassing, "well aren't you so cute/sweet....oh wait, you were serious?" manuever. (Not saying you would actually do those things.) :flowerforyou:

    I know it feels good to *hear* compliments, but girl you may just be in a whole other league now and that scares guys! (Although I bet you were still smoking before you dropped the weight.) If you would still like to have that little smirk of validation when a guy hits on you, instead of listening for the words, *look* for the looks. I'm sure guys are still giving you the once-over (well, more like twice or third-over! :laugh: ) or have their eyes wandering away from their previous line of focus towards you...and sometimes get their eyes stuck there in awe of your beauty :love: I don't *hear* as many comments as I used to, but (when I decide to do my hair and makeup) my bf constantly tells me he has to give guys dirty looks when I walk in front of him because guys are looking at me and they don't realize my bf is right behind me :laugh: . I honestly prefer noticing (or being told about) a once-over to being verbally hit on because then you don't have to deal with as many creepers and awkward conversations.
  • Moniqua1
    Moniqua1 Posts: 195 Member
    Guys like curves :)

    I'm 32, 26, 36. I lost my boobs first but my booty hasn't gone anywhere! I still have some curves...they're just LOWER! HAHAHA!
  • Moniqua1
    Moniqua1 Posts: 195 Member
    I looked at your pictures and I agree with everyone on here, except for the person who said you may look haggard. You are one of those women that encompasses several different beauty characteristics. You are beautiful, adorable AND sexy :heart: . You look like you can play to all of those and I bet you are good at it. You know, the beautiful look going out to a nice dinner, the adorable look when clowning around with friends and the sexy look when you go out for a night on the town. Not all women have multiple varietes of beauty and men can certainly see when a women does.

    I really think that men are more intimadated by you and feel like if they went up to you that you would either just laugh in their face, be a a b****, or do the sometimes even more embarrassing, "well aren't you so cute/sweet....oh wait, you were serious?" manuever. (Not saying you would actually do those things.) :flowerforyou:

    I know it feels good to *hear* compliments, but girl you may just be in a whole other league now and that scares guys! (Although I bet you were still smoking before you dropped the weight.) If you would still like to have that little smirk of validation when a guy hits on you, instead of listening for the words, *look* for the looks. I'm sure guys are still giving you the once-over (well, more like twice or third-over! :laugh: ) or have their eyes wandering away from their previous line of focus towards you...and sometimes get their eyes stuck there in awe of your beauty :love: I don't *hear* as many comments as I used to, but (when I decide to do my hair and makeup) my bf constantly tells me he has to give guys dirty looks when I walk in front of him because guys are looking at me and they don't realize my bf is right behind me :laugh: . I honestly prefer noticing (or being told about) a once-over to being verbally hit on because then you don't have to deal with as many creepers and awkward conversations.

    I love this girl! Lol! Thank you so much! Ok, I'm feeling alot better/confident now. Maybe I'll try all suggestions out this weekend. It's my best friend's birthday!!
  • ilovemybuggy
    ilovemybuggy Posts: 1,584 Member
    Probably intimidated. You're gorgeous, and you definitely DON'T look old, so don't worry. Just go out, enjoy yourself and your new body & be glad that you don't have guys hovering over you and you're actually able to enjoy the free time !! The right guy will come along, he will approach you & the men who didn't won't even matter :)
  • philOHIO
    philOHIO Posts: 520 Member
    Are any of those posted pics "before" shots? They all look good, and it is perhaps you aren't in the right place at the right time.
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
    How I wish I have your problem. Fat or thin, I've never been approached by a guy except from those a**holes who needed a walking ATM :sad:
  • Moniqua1
    Moniqua1 Posts: 195 Member
    No, not really. I do have some "before" pics though. The one showing my belly was my after my full 2 months at the gym. I take a new pic for month 3 the 6th of next month (so soon! Agh!) So I've lost maybe 4lbs since that one was taken.
  • morgansmom02
    morgansmom02 Posts: 1,131 Member
    Wow, that is discouraging, but its got to be some weird coincidence as you look phenomenal! Don't stress on it. I'd totally approach you! :) Keep up the good work!

    You are giving her exactly what she is looking for.
  • Moniqua1
    Moniqua1 Posts: 195 Member
    How I wish I have your problem. Fat or thin, I've never been approached by a guy except from those a**holes who needed a walking ATM :sad:


    Are you kidding?! I've seen your pics and I think you're beautiful!
  • radiantsunshine40
    radiantsunshine40 Posts: 48 Member
    I guess if that's your main reason behind losing is to "get hit on" than it my be bothersome! Guys will tell you they don't want an aggressive woman but on the flip side they DO LIKE AGGRESSION IN THEIR WOMAN; but will LOOK/TREAT you differently if you initiate first! You will be setting off all kinds of signals.......decency and respect WAITS A LONG TIME BUT WINS IN THE END!!! The right guy with the right gut and nerves will come around....in the meantime just enjoy your new body, look and health! Don't rush your life away.......

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