Help...please....at the end of my rope... I NEED this.

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Food is my enemy. Life is my enemy. And above all, I am my biggest enemy. I just lost my job due to depression and PTSD (diagnosed, both). I keep going back and forth between wanting to make this journey my entire life goal and surrounding myself with ways to progress towards it, and simply collapsing under temptation and lack of support around me. My fiance and I don't feel we can 'afford' to lose weight because we cannot 'afford' the foods required to do so. And when I tried to I just saw him eating a giant sub while I spooned my yoghurt and felt miserable, having spent way too much at the time. PLEASE help, please prove me wrong MFP, and tell me how I can pick myself up to where I KNOW deep down I want to be.

We'll probably have about 30-50 dollars every two weeks, a piece, for food. Nevermind life stressors and debts and life issues which obviously have a large baring over food impulses and weight loss progression. I just want this to work. I just want to make what I have work for me to get to where I can look in the mirror and not feel disgusted. I don't know what else to do, I have no money and nothing and nowhere to turn. Not even 5.00 for a simple weight or jumprope. All I have is my (extremely tiny) room shared with my fiance, minimal food budget, and a dream. A wish. A goal. A seemingly hopeless endeavor that now makes me reach out to complete strangers on the internet for advice.

I never want to see the number 200 on my 5'5" frame again, and I'm probably less than 20 lbs from approaching it right now. Below is a picture of my current pantry. I look at it and 99% of me feels disgusted. Tell me IF I can fix this, HOW I can fix this, mentally, emotionally, or otherwise. I need a bit of hope to grasp onto right now. My goal would be 130 lbs. Then I'd be happy. But I can't just resort to eating oatmeal and nothing else, can I? Seems like the only affordable meal plan.

Sorry for the length. T.T

http://img685.imageshack.us/img685/1058/foodismyenemy.png
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Replies

  • stfuriada
    stfuriada Posts: 445 Member
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    Losing weight doesn't have to be expensive.

    Just eat smaller portions of what you normally eat. You mentioned him eating a giant sub? Why not eat three quarters of that and save the rest for later. Or share with you?

    Simple things like that will start you off.

    Portion control and start doing exercise. Walk around the block, do more chores, park further from the entrance of the mall/grocery store, take the stairs etc.
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,143 Member
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    I have to agree with the "I cant afford the food" thing....you can. The difference is the amount. You wont be eating subs...or, at least not big ones. You can afford fresh veggies and fruits, chicken, fish, meats, I eat yogurt and I love it....don't miss the Jimmy Dean breakfast bowl one bit!

    Everything in moderation. Heck, if I can do this (me who also suffers from depression and who has diabetes) so can you. No its not easy. But its the difference between living your life and just existing to eat crap. No one can really help you do it. In the end, its YOU that puts the food in your mouth. YOU have the control.....food doesn't have a brain.

    And losing weight doesn't cost anything beyond the food you eat.....cant beat that price tag. :)

    ETA - And you cant count on your fiancee to start losing weight to help you. And when you lose the weight, you may find you dont want to be with someone who doesnt care that they are stuffing themselves with crap and might be well on their way to having diabetes like me. Or he may find inspiration in what you accomplished .Either way, its up to YOU. :)
  • NakedLunchTime
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    Yea, sorry, but I call bull**** on "I can't afford the food to lose weight" excuse. 1500 calories is half the cost of 3000.

    I'm sorry that you are in a bad spot right now. Calories in vs calories out is definitely one place where you do have control.

    You call bull****???? This person writes a whole damn page and "you call bull****. I agree with the other poster. Start small buy eating smaller portions of what you eat now, and every time you go shopping buy one or two things like fresh produce that you normally wouldn't buy. Little by little you can start to reinvent your diet.

    Also with exercising, the outdoors is your best friend. If you feel you can not jog yet, go for walks. You don't NEED weights to work out, Your own body weight will be just finr. Squats, Lunges, leg lifts, pushups. All the originals are the ones I swear by and they are free and they work.

    You ARE worth the effort but it will be difficult at time. Sometimes you will want to eat when you are not hungry and you will just have to start telling yourself to stop eating. This will get easier in time. This is something that takes work but the pay off is amazing :) Good luck to you and you can add me if you want!
  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
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    MFP isn't a diet, so just eat what you can afford (I have about the same food budget as you BTW), cook at home as much as you can (a loaf, cold meat and salad is cheaper than buying a sub, for example), drink tap water rather than anything that costs money or has calories, track every mouthful and stop when you reach your MFP limit, simple as that.

    Get exercising for free. Walk everywhere. Do bodyweight exercises. As you have internet access, check out free exercise videos online.

    Set MFP to lose no more than 1lb a week, aiming for more will make you hungry and miserable.

    I know it sounds trite, but exercising and getting healthy really does help with depression. As does getting enough sleep. I know, I've been there.
  • ABNEN
    ABNEN Posts: 2
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    Love yourself. :flowerforyou: Congratulate yourself on what you did good today. Decide to be happy. Cheers!
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
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    Seems like there is much more going on than just weight loss. Try to reach out to family and friends for support. Start small. Walking and running cost zero dollars. Eat what you can afford a pack of chicken breast cost 4 bucks and one breast can feed two people. Apples are cheap and so are carrots and most veggies. You ca do it, think one day at a time.
  • tamba01
    tamba01 Posts: 110 Member
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    My goal would be 130 lbs. Then I'd be happy. But I can't just resort to eating oatmeal and nothing else, can I? Seems like the only affordable meal plan.

    http://img685.imageshack.us/img685/1058/foodismyenemy.png

    I make my own greek yogurt. Very affordable and very healthy. I am also on a tight budget and am addicted to greek yogurt. This may help. Also going to farmers market seem to be more affordable than grocery stores, especially this time of year. I also suffer from depression, I do however feel better after I go walking. I know that most days I have to drag my butt out to do this, but if you can, it will make you feel so much better. Also watch the grocery store sales, they sometimes have really great deals on fruits and veggies.
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
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    You need a complete life make-over.
    Physical-Mental-Social-Financial-Spiritual and whatever else you see as a goal.
    We all feel as you do at times, so BUCK UP!
    Write down all the things you want in life, then connect with those who already have them. Success is a choice and quite contagious as is failure which is why we should always hang with winners - not losers.
    Write down your goals, and go here for help:
    Goals For Dummies
    http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/setting-smart-management-goals.html
    No, you're no dummy, but this is good info.
    Let your fitness goals work in conjunction with everything else. Our goal areas are like spokes in a wheel.
    Balance is key. You can do this. Reach out for help at the VA if you need it.
    All Is Possible!
  • chelleRmcgrath
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    Yea, sorry, but I call bull**** on "I can't afford the food to lose weight" excuse. 1500 calories is half the cost of 3000.

    I'm sorry that you are in a bad spot right now. Calories in vs calories out is definitely one place where you do have control.

    You call bull****???? This person writes a whole damn page and "you call bull****. I agree with the other poster. Start small buy eating smaller portions of what you eat now, and every time you go shopping buy one or two things like fresh produce that you normally wouldn't buy. Little by little you can start to reinvent your diet.

    Also with exercising, the outdoors is your best friend. If you feel you can not jog yet, go for walks. You don't NEED weights to work out, Your own body weight will be just finr. Squats, Lunges, leg lifts, pushups. All the originals are the ones I swear by and they are free and they work.

    You ARE worth the effort but it will be difficult at time. Sometimes you will want to eat when you are not hungry and you will just have to start telling yourself to stop eating. This will get easier in time. This is something that takes work but the pay off is amazing :) Good luck to you and you can add me if you want!


    Well said!!!


    You CAN do this! You are WORTH doing this!
  • BamaBreezeNSaltAire
    BamaBreezeNSaltAire Posts: 966 Member
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    Start small buy eating smaller portions of what you eat now, and every time you go shopping buy one or two things like fresh produce that you normally wouldn't buy. Little by little you can start to reinvent your diet.

    Also with exercising, the outdoors is your best friend. If you feel you can not jog yet, go for walks. You don't NEED weights to work out, Your own body weight will be just finr. Squats, Lunges, leg lifts, pushups. All the originals are the ones I swear by and they are free and they work.

    You ARE worth the effort but it will be difficult at time. Sometimes you will want to eat when you are not hungry and you will just have to start telling yourself to stop eating. This will get easier in time. This is something that takes work but the pay off is amazing :) Good luck to you and you can add me if you want!

    THIS is excellent advice. You have made the first step by starting here! Best of wishes and luck coming your way!
  • morriusmfp
    morriusmfp Posts: 24 Member
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    It's surprising how cheap fast-food is in the US when you compare it to a healthy stock of fresh veggies, lean meats etc. At least, it is if the movie 'food inc' is anything to go by.

    The thing is you need to build it up slowly, learn how to cook wholesome meals and learn how to shave off calories (and cost) wherever possible. You don't need to buy expensive branded food items (weight watcher for example) in order to lose weight. You can make a meal out of a tiny list of ingredients if you prepare and plan properly. You don't need to go to trader joes and buy expensive organic veggies, you don't need to buy exotic ingredients that cost a bomb just because they're in the recipe you found online.

    Take it one step at a time, teach yourself how to cook from cheap basic ingredients. Cheap dried herbs and stock powder are your friend!

    Where I live in the UK (which is much more expensive than the US!) a large Subway meal costs about £6.50 per head, more if you have the drink and the cookie. For the same price for two people I can buy some cheap chicken breast, an onion, a pepper, a tin of chopped tomatoes, some spices and a small bag of brown rice, and even a bag of apples and some natural yoghurt for dessert. Or the ingredients for a chilli, or a bolognese, or a stir-fry, and probably make enough to have some left over for lunch tomorrow!

    Start small. Baby steps. When you're learning something like a new language, you have to take it slowly. This is no different.

    How's this for a start?

    http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/content/recipes/healthy/cheap-and-healthy/

    Food isn't your enemy. It's your best friend. You're just spending too much time together ;)
  • jlp100
    jlp100 Posts: 117 Member
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    You don't need to buy a jump rope. You can still exercise as if you have a jump rope and burn calories, and even better you don't get to stop and start tripping over the thing. Jumping jacks, running on the spot, you don't need a lot of space to exercise, its just getting the get up and go to do it.

    I'm sorry you are going through a tightspot I can sympathise with u, but fruit & veg is not really that expensive and the endless casseroles and soups you can make, all goodness contained within.

    If you are exercising and burning lots of calories you can still eat a lot you may find... Its just making sure the exercise burns off the extras you are eating.

    It is unfortunate that the unhealthy choices look easier to make, that is because they are everywhere. You have to fight the temptation when maybe you feel, why should I?

    You have to want to do this and be in the right place... if you are fed up being fed up you need to start this....you sound like you need the right motivation... how about taking pics so you can do a before and after?

    I saw these sayings somewhere on this site and they help motivate me.

    As Nike says.... Just Do It!
    If It were easy everyone would be doing.
    Run till it don't jiggle no more.
    A year from now you will be wishing you started today.

    I hope this helps... good luck, you are in the right place for the support and motivation you need.
  • tinana_RN
    tinana_RN Posts: 541 Member
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    Not for nothing, but your page says you worked part-time as a cashier. You can't be getting set back much more than you were while you were working-- try what the others have suggested. Smaller portions doesn't have to mean cutting out everything. Getting outside and moving will be one of the best things you've done for yourself in a long while. Look into the couch to 5k program-- I just finished it a few weeks ago, and I weigh a bit more than you do. You CAN lose the weight.
  • tdmcmains
    tdmcmains Posts: 227 Member
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    I can totally understand how it feels overwhelming. Heck, I felt overwhelmed too when I started and I could afford to buy whatever foods we wanted (luckily). For exercise, get outside. Walk, or run. Google bodyweight exercises or look them up on youtube. Get videos out of the library.
    Cook more and eat out less. We eat out roughly never. That includes subs from subway or whatever. Make it yourself. You can get rolls for say, 50 cents a piece, and sandwich meats at the supermarket and make a weeks worth of lunches for less than subway or lean cuisines or whatever and it'll be better for you besides.
    portion control, too.
    We cook dinner every night and eat the leftovers for lunch the next day. it's nothing exotic but it does take time to prepare. But most of our meals are probably 20-30 minutes and, when we were childless, we spent about 40 bucks a week on food. Lots of rice, big packs of meat which we would freeze and take out as needed, and fresh or frozen veggies.
    You can do it. Small steps, and support on here will help. Good luck.
  • bellygoaway
    bellygoaway Posts: 441 Member
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    Walking is easy and free. The exercise will do you good, and help you feel better. Plus as you walk, you will be able to eat a bit more and not feel guilty. Just start logging your calories. Use this site and set an easy goal of just 1/2 pound a week. Then you will see the victory of being under your calorie goal. Stop drinking so much soda. It is meant to be a treat, not a food staple. You have reached out for help, and that is the hardest part. I spent the better part of 10 years thinking I could do nothing but watch my weight go up. I struggled last year and did loose 20 pounds, but I was hungry ALL the time, I joined this site about 3.5 months ago, and have lost 34 pounds, that is just about 10 pounds a month. It is amazing how much you don't want to eat when you see how many calories are in things. I had not cut out any food. I still have an occasional soda, I eat a DQ mini-blizzard several times a week. But I eat less, and better than I used to. Sure some days I do feel hungry, but I spent the last 15 years or so telling my body to function on 5,000+ calories a day. Dropping to half that is going to cause some hunger while it adjusts. And you know what? Some days I blow it on purpose.
    If I can do this, I know you can.

    Good luck
  • mellabyte
    mellabyte Posts: 193 Member
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    Nerd Fitness has some helpful articles.

    http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/10/11/how-to-eat-healthy-without-breaking-the-bank/
    http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2009/12/09/beginner-body-weight-workout-burn-fat-build-muscle/

    And there are clever ways to construct your own home gym at almost no cost. I know a popular one is refilling gallon water or milk jugs with water or sand (etc) and using as hand weights. Some use jars of pasta sauce. It may sound silly, but it's a legitimate way to work out. I used to practice proper dead-lift form with a broom handle. ^_^

    http://www.wikihow.com/Create-Your-Own-Home-Gym-for-Little-or-No-Cost

    It sounds like you have a lot on your plate/mind. Much luck to you as you make your steps in the direction you want.
  • sofakingawesome69
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    Even Jared lost weight on the Subway diet. a foot long is $5. Just pointing out that there is a way. It is portioning, which is my arch nemesis. In order to beat that I eat larger portions of healthy stuff, but it can be done you just get to be creative when you do it. Much more of a challenge and fun. Heck walking around the grocery store looking for a deal in something healthy will burn some calories for you if nothing else..
  • JeSuisPrest
    JeSuisPrest Posts: 2,005 Member
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    "If" you can do this??? I'm going to start right there. How badly do you want to do this? Change the way you think! It doesn't matter what anyone says or feels. This is all YOU! Yes, you CAN do this. I am in a tight spot financially too!! Shop sales and combine with coupons! There is www.thegrocerygame.com to help with that and other websites. It's for a small fee, but it is worth every cent! You don't need a gym or a large space. You have the great outdoors!! Do your own cooking as much as possible, give up fast food and processed food and exercise....walk, run, jog, do jumping jacks, whatever, just move!
  • yallcallmedeb
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    There was a previous post on here about buying healthy food on a budget similar to yours. Maybe try googling it.

    Bagged beans are very inexpensive (about a dollar a bag) and go a LONG way! Pasta (while I don't like the carbs) is also a good, inexpensive staple. Figure out what days your local supermarket marks down their meat. I can usually find meat marked down 30-50%. It's still safe to cook in the next few days or you can stick it in the freezer. Subs (and luncheon meat) tend to be very expensive. If you want sandwiches, cook your own meat. Look at sales and use coupons. Peanut butter lasts a long time. I know people who have emailed companies requesting samples (of something unusual) and getting full-sized samples for free! Our supermarket always has 1-3 cartfuls of groceries marked down 75-90%. Some of them are still very expensive but you can find some great deals there. Day old bread. It can be done.

    As for exercise, get outside. The fresh air and sunshine will do you good. You can walk or jog. Try C25K if you are new to jogging. Pushups, situps, squats, etc.

    Do not let your fiance bring you down. Go out and do this!!!
  • debussyschild
    debussyschild Posts: 804 Member
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    Go back and re-read what you put in your profile... Remember your determination? Yeah, it's time to take a deep breath, stop panicking, stop putting yourself down, and start focusing on what you CAN control instead of what you CAN'T.

    Some basic food items that are inexpensive (think Walmart inexpensive) that you can make MANY great meals out of:

    Chicken breasts
    Brown rice
    Dried beans
    Frozen vegetables
    Oatmeal
    Canned diced tomatoes
    Plain yogurt
    Frozen fruit

    Those are all I can think of right now. My husband and I ate very well off of just his E-5 salary (we were not married then and I was unemployed) just by cooking lots of food at once, especially using a crock pot. Eating healthy is not expensive. That is a big fat lie. Get your hands on a cookbook! Those can be found at many a thrift store near you for dirt cheap. If lack of cookware or utensils is an issue, those can also be found for next to nothing at a local goodwill or thrift store.

    Also, being active doesn't require a gym membership or weights. Do you have empty milk jugs? Is there sand near by?? Fill those babies up and you have a very useful weight you can push around. Push-ups, sit ups, burpees, box jumps, shuffles, lunges, leg raises... none of those require anything but YOU and the will to do them. Sounds like you are desperately lacking in the will department because of your circumstances, but I have to let you in on a secret... You and only you choose to become a victim of your circumstances. You can choose to overcome your circumstances! Don't let money be the deciding factor of where your life goes. Plenty of people have done much to change their lives and the lives of others while being dirt poor.