Overwhelmed - I have so much weight to lose!

robin68562

Hi ---
I'm fifty-sever years old I've had weight issues since I was twelve. I've been keeping track of my diet on myfitnesspal for about two months now and in that time I've lost 15 pounds, which is a major undertaking for me. I kind of threw in the towel with my weight many years ago after a well-meaning guy that I worked with told me he felt sorry for me because he knew I had worked really hard to lose weight (which I had. I was exercising and was in a size 12 jeans for the first time since long before puberty) and he finished off with a look of pity in his eyes as he said, "And you still have such big hips."
It's true --- I have a big butt and a pear shape --- That's just the way it is. But after that well-meaning, but obviously misguided comment, I took on a 'screw it' attitude and it's been downhill (Or should I say 'Uphill') ever since. Since that time I was married for 17 years, had three kids and have been divorced for seven years.and in that time my weight has ballooned to 285 pounds, give or take a few pounds as it fluctuated with yo-yo dieting as I half-heartedly tried one fad diet after another.
I'm 57 years old and I feel so old! I've been dieting a little more seriously off and on for the last couple of years and my weight is now down to 261 pounds, which I feel good about. But I have such a long way to go! And then, what will I look like after carrying all this weight around for so long? I worry about sagging skin, flab, loss of muscle mass and all that. It's frustrating and scary. But I just want to get my life back. I've been letting my weight hold me back from so much for so long! I'm embarrassed to be seen in public, feeling like everyone is looking at my enormous hips and rear end. Thank you, Gary!
I've got a new determination to make this lifestyle change. I refuse to call it a diet.I've always been a sugar junkie and I've cut way down on sugar. I've all but cut any kind of pop (soda --- We call it 'pop' in Western New York) including diet pop out of my life. I eat a lot less candy --- just enough to keep my sugar craving at bay. I've been exercising more --- mostly yard work and gardening, since I let that go for quite a while as well --- and have been eating healthier in general, eating all things in moderation. And a week ago I went out on my first date since my divorce almost seven years ago! I even amazed myself! It was terrifying and turned out to be a disaster, but hey, I've broken the ice! I'm a little depressed at this point, but it gives me a little hope that my life may not be over after all, since someone actually asked me out after all this time. After my divorce I threw in the towel on love, too, and just assumed that part of my life was over. But if there's one man out there who finds me appealing, there may possibly be more. Ya think?
So that's my long and convoluted life story. I'm glad I stumbled upon myfitnesspal. I've found it to be very inspiring and I hope to be even more inspired by having a support group that I can turn to online. Best of luck to all of you and, please, wish me good luck, too!

alipene

You've had some ups and downs for sure, but your current positive attitude is great and you've access to a huge network of support with MFP. I wish you the best of luck on your continuing journey

JoeD1968

good luck add me if you would like more friends

Lindaendall

Hi there, you are sounding very positive and have made the right decision by joining MFP. It does not matter how much you have got to lose, the point is, you are commencing a journey that will change your life. Your weight will come off slowly and it will take you a long time - who cares, with the correct change of lifestyle it will NEVER come back.

Well done and good luck on your journey :flowerforyou:

Linda

Dorkaleena

You sound SO MUCH like me. I let my slide go much further than you did though. We can TOTALLY make this work. (And it's SO NICE to know I'm not the only one out there that's felt that very same way. OMG... you have no clue.)

LoriA6724

You have so many things to be proud of!! You need to just take things one day at a time. Enjoy the accomplishments as they happen. Look how far you've come. You should be proud of yourself!

swest7869

I have a long way to go as well, but I can tell you that the journey is well worth the work. It is hard when others are negative. I used to be a pear, but when I started I was more "round" than anything. I have been put down by many others and unfortunately I found my weight was some sort of "protection" from inappropriate comments or abuse from others. Unfortunately, it took being abused again to make me realize that my fat suit offered no protection at all.

Always keep mini-goals in mind when you are on this journey and make sure you celebrate every small success, even if it means just avoiding the dreaded cravings or making an alternative choice. Those small successes are the stepping stones to a life of joy. Weight issues will always be on our plates, but you have taken the greatest steps to meeting these issues head on. I know that I have issues when I plateau for three weeks at a time and then drop a few pounds. In life, our greatest lessons are when we are in the middle of the issues we are facing, but we have to keep our eyes focused on that small light of hope to move through and make the changes long-term. Good luck and remember the Maya Angelou poem "These Hips." We may have larger hips and we may not fit into the "ideal" mold of others, but when we can find that we are comfortable with loving ourselves it does not hurt as much for those who are too lost in their own issues to be kind or optimistic.

amandab1669

Wow you have been through so much. Just stay positive and you are right this is a life style change. Take it day by day and do your best. Always remember why you are doing this and before you know it it will become second nature to you. I know you can do it and good luck. If you need support and motivation please add me as a friend.

daisybabes

Well done you!! Keep it up and stay positive

butterflylady86

Please don't be discouraged. One pound at a time. You didn't put the weight on overnight. It takes hard work to lose the weight. When your down come on here. My friends encourage me to move forward. I'm feeling very at peace now. I'm doing what I could never do before. Change my attitude loving myself and lose the weight. Bless you Stay Positive

Bobby_Clerici

No, no, no, no!
Don't look at your challenge that way, or it does seem overwhelming. You are going to do just fine if you take this one step at a time. As for the weight...
You only have 1 pound to lose.
That is all. ONE POUND!
MFP is set up for us to lose 1 pound every week, so just stop stressing, and take this one pound at a time. In a year, that's 52 pounds. In 2 years, you have over 100.
ONE POUND!
No stress - no drama and no turning back. As for everything else, just keep punching, and all will be possible for YOU!
Good Luck :flowerforyou:

Emilie1024

Wow. People make such insensitive comments… I wouldn’t worry about all that lies ahead like the sagging skin, etc. You will be healthy at a lighter weight.

I know how you feel. Often I feel so self conscious about my wide rear and I am 203. And when I was 150, I fel self conscious as well! Take it one step at a time, 15 lbs is really good. Just keep chipping away at it. Good Luck!

mikeesgirl13

You don't realize how strong you really are! Look at everything you've been through and you'll realize how amazing you are! Who cares what ONE GUY says...he sounds like he has a very small brain. Try to put his really stupid comment out of your mind and focus on the positive! There are so many people that completely understand what you're going through! Keep up the positive attitude! My journey has just begun and I'm so excited!

IDCY843

The "hurdles" in life make us stronger. Feel free to add me as a friend if you wish. I am a long way from you
in miles (Australia) but if I can help you in anyway, I sure will.

kittyhug1986

Good luck to you in your journey - I myself have been struggling with weight since I was young. You will overcome and be stronger with your ups and downs. Friend request sent. Please accept me!

misfit34

just remember to have determination, motivation, and the awesome folks here at MFP! :-)

lizziebeth1028

Congratulations on your lifestyle change you are on the way to a healthier new you! Try to remember to take it one day at a time. Everyday that you do good is a success! Don't get too caught up in body image, none of us are perfect. Set your health and well being as your goal. A great place for inspiration is the success forums here on MFP. There are some amazing life and body transformations that you can read about to keep you motivated and show you that YES this is possible!!!!!! :flowerforyou:

13inchestogo

Gary is clearly an insensitive jerk. Don't let his comment he probably didn't even think about before it left his lips effect you and the way YOU live your life. It's easy to feel overhwelmed when you feel so snowballed in, but at that point you either give up or do something and I'm glad your doing something!!!! this site is filled with lots of helpful nice people to help you

I'm super sensitive myself, find myself spending hours maybe days wondering about something someone may have said about me or a mistake I made in the past but screw that. Screw it!!! You can't please all of the people all of the time, and if your a caring sensitive individual like you sound like you may want too, but hold yourself above the crap and realize your opinion is THEE most important regarding the way you live your life and what you do and where you go and how you look.

Be strong you can accomplish anything if you put a little effort and passion into it !!! Sounds like your going to so I wish you luck on your journey Remember how far positive thinking can get a person, like fitness models/competitors (not saying you have to be one to be happy!!) but alot of people think it is almost impossible to be as dedicated and disciplined as those kinds of people are, but because of their attitude, no matter their previous weights or lifestyles!! They are now living their dreams because they didn't give up when they had doubts, when they had a negative opinion or a bad day they pushed even harder !!! We are as strong and as successful as we allow ourselves to be.

(Sorry if this is ranty, but your story really made me want you to wish you some happiness )

PHATmommy68

I am from WNY too. One step at a time dear! I took off 70 pounds previously. From 235 to 165. You can do it!!!!

faefaith

Good Luck Love! You can do it!!! :flowerforyou:

tnjackso1

You didn't gain it over night and you sure want lose it over night....one step at a time and you're making the right steps in the right direction.....You can do this, stay encouraged!