Vent, and help with a husband that "can't" cook
Replies
-
I dont know how to cook because my mother never teach me
I laugh because I grew up with my father and let's just say we had 5 things on our menu. Most of them involved the grill. When I got married I had to call my mother, who is a fantastic cook, and ask what the heck it meant to "brown the meat." I"m surprised I even knew how to boil water. At my dad's house, we didn't cook on the stove growing up. EVER. I really honestly did not know how to cook. My dear husband used to beg me to let him eat a sandwich all the while trying his best to be really nice to his wife who really wanted to learn how to cook. The problem is I didn't even think of dinner until 6pm and then I would drag out a cook book. I looked at what I had in the cabinet (wasn't good at thinking ahead on the menu yet before grocery shopping). Then I would start. To a newbie, some of those 45 minute recipes took me 3 hours! Poor guy. He patiently waited late each night for whatever I prepared. Sometimes they came out okay and sometimes they were utter disasters.
But now I may not be as good of a cook as my mom but I can make whatever it is you want me to make.0 -
My husband "can't" cook either but I've made sure my sons can. When they went to college or moved out on their own, I printed off some easy, quick recipes, slide the pages between plastic page protectors and placed it all in a binder. My youngest son tells me his roommates all use the "cookbook" quite often! Maybe something like this would work for your hubby!
Say, thanks for the idea-- my son plans to marry next spring and move across the continent. I think I'll do this for him and his fiance. :happy:0 -
ask him to find crock pot recipes that he thinks he and the kids will like and make a list of what is needed for it.
set it before going to work with instructions of what to do with it next.
i like this one! there are just 100's of things you can do! my problem isn't a husband (don't have one of those) but kids coming and going at different times for different sports and they need to eat and eat well. If I use the crock pot i just post an index card on top with any additional directions or add on's in the cabinet or fridg and the time it will be ready and if they need to turn it from hot to warm. ---- Some days I then say a little prayer and hope that there is something left in the crock pot for me after the kids and friends have attacked :laugh:0 -
My husband inherited 3 kids when we got married and we have 2 together so we both help cook and clean. We both work full time outside the home. On saturdays we sit down and look at crock pot recipes and make a menu out along with our grocery list and then we take turns throwing it in the crockpot before we leave in the mornings. I just bought an awesome cookbook by Dawn Hall that has low fat low cal recipes and that is what we generally use. This way even if one of us gets home later dinner is ready for everyone.0
-
My husband couldn't cook either, so I encouraged him to learn. Show him how to use the grill, or cook on the stove.
He started making really good marinades, and then I would cook them..
Now he can make a good meal, and he usually feeds himself and our son, while I'm working out.0 -
I dont know how to cook because my mother never teach me
Neither did mine, that's no excuse. There are 1000s of cookbooks available, the internet at your finger tips and plain ol' making it up as you go along.
love korean food, had a korean bff, and asked her mother to teach me how to make korean dishes! I agree.. Look at YOUTUBE, and you can learn to cook.0 -
Personally, I would start a crockpot meal before work. Why? Because I would want my kids to eat healthy food and not end up with food issues/obesity. Marriage is give/take. I'm sure he does stuff you don't want to do (mow the lawn?) My hubs makes an excellent breakfast (pancakes, eggs, coffee, fresh-squeezed juice, fruit), and he can grill. I have taught the children (who are more teachable and willing to learn from me) to cook as well. Between the hubs, the 15 yr-old and the 12 yr-old, they manage.
0 -
I agree with the suggestions of teaching him to cook. My husband used to just make mac-n-cheese, chicken nuggets, hot dogs, fries, etc. He called them his "school lunch dinners"! No more, he asked how I make my meals and we made them together a few times, I showed him ingredients, how to prep, measure, and cook the meals. Now he has several of "my" recipes in his repertoire and no more school lunch dinners!0
-
You two should take a cooking class together ^.^~ You can multi-task - date night plus he will be learning to cook.0
-
Make him watch this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qDc3bvLypA
If Alton Brown can't help, then all hope is lost.0 -
My husband's idea of cooking (and feeding the kids) is Stouffers Mac & cheese in the microwave, frozen pizza, chicken nuggets, fries or tater tots in the oven, and hot dogs on the stove. To get him to actually measure and boil pasta and add sauce and frozen meatballs let alone actually following a recipe from a book or online with more than 2 ingredients would be like asking him to climb Mt. Everest. It's the nature of the beast I guess. His mom was a stay at home mom (june cleaver-ish) who did ALL the cooking and cleaning. Until the day we bought our house and moved in together, his mom was serving them dinner every night. We both work full time. And we both share other responsibilities like bathing the kids, getting them ready for daycare, cleaning the house, doing laundry, etc. But I'm not a fan of doing yard work or taking out the garbage, so in exchange, he does that stuff while I make dinners.
I use to joke with him about not cooking, but it would usually end up with him feeling "inadequate" as a husband, (yet he doesn't take the initiative to learn). I've given up that battle.
Yeah, I still get mad when we're eating dinner sometimes at 7:30pm, and he can tell how frustrated I am, but I don't think it will ever change.0 -
not only thins, but teach him how to put raw veggies on the grill. my son actually ate the onions we grilled- sweet! and delicious! we also grill just about every other thing there isTeach him how to grill real food like steak. If he can't grill, make fun of him.
pineapple, eggplant, tomatoes, garlic, peppers, mushrooms, carrots, corn on the cob...
so much better than the microwave (which I do not trust)
good luck0 -
My husband can cook. He just believes that butter is a food group. I don't eat anything he makes anymore. Maybe it's time for a couples cooking class. It would be a way to see what he can and can't do. You may need bribery or sexual favors to get him there though. You could also try telling him his penis will get bigger if he loses weight. What man doesn't want a bigger penis?0
-
Here's another idea!
Why don't you make a deal with him that you will learn something that he can do, but you can't (maybe auto mechanic work/accounting, etc.) if he learns the basics of cooking?
Then, both of you will be improving yourselves and feeling like the other is interested in being a team! It's a win-win! :happy:0 -
Here's another idea!
Why don't you make a deal with him that you will learn something that he can do, but you can't (maybe auto mechanic work/accounting, etc.) if he learns the basics of cooking?
Then, both of you will be improving yourselves and feeling like the other is interested in being a team! It's a win-win! :happy:
Best idea yet!!
It also avoids the awkwardness of him retaliating with letting you "figure things out" when sitting by the side of the road with a stalled car. LOL!0 -
Help me find a way to get my husband to cook. We have 3 kids. I work later hours than he does. Tonight I'm going to the gym right after work. He has to feed the kids....he text's me to say there is no food in the house, when what he means is there's nothing quick like mac & cheese or frozen pizza, chicken nuggets etc. Our fridge is full of food and so is the freezer.
I'm livid, he is 35!! The kids can't keep eating junk because he is lazy.
What do others do for situations like this? Am I to spend my entire weekend making up casseroles and stocking the fridge with frozen crap so he can "cook"??
My husband doesn't cook and that doesn't make your husband or my husband lazy......................IT JUST MEANS THAT NEITHER ONE OF THEM CAN'T COOK.
I am sorry, but it is wrong for people to come on the internet and b*tch, moan and complain about their spouse. Look around at every thing else he does for you and the kids......................Do you still think he is lazy???? Probably not. So, don't say that he is lazy.
There are so many other women that would love to have a man that is at home keeping their children while she is still at work.
Look at the positive and come to a realization that YOU married a man that can not cook. That is not his fault. Not everyone wants to know how to cook.
Yes, make casseroles, crock pot foods, etc that he can just re-heat and eat.0 -
My husband's idea of cooking (and feeding the kids) is Stouffers Mac & cheese in the microwave, frozen pizza, chicken nuggets, fries or tater tots in the oven, and hot dogs on the stove. To get him to actually measure and boil pasta and add sauce and frozen meatballs let alone actually following a recipe from a book or online with more than 2 ingredients would be like asking him to climb Mt. Everest. It's the nature of the beast I guess. His mom was a stay at home mom (june cleaver-ish) who did ALL the cooking and cleaning. Until the day we bought our house and moved in together, his mom was serving them dinner every night. We both work full time. And we both share other responsibilities like bathing the kids, getting them ready for daycare, cleaning the house, doing laundry, etc. But I'm not a fan of doing yard work or taking out the garbage, so in exchange, he does that stuff while I make dinners.
I use to joke with him about not cooking, but it would usually end up with him feeling "inadequate" as a husband, (yet he doesn't take the initiative to learn). I've given up that battle.
Yeah, I still get mad when we're eating dinner sometimes at 7:30pm, and he can tell how frustrated I am, but I don't think it will ever change.
My husband has tried to learn to cook and he did pick up a couple of things and he has always been able to cook breakfast food.
He is not good at putting together seasonings and such on meat and veggies.0 -
Look, I know that this response will get some hate. However, truth must be told. It is not the man's role. While there is nothing wrong with a man cooking, it's not his God given job. Skip the gym and take care of your family.0
-
This is tongue-in-cheek:
Leave him a loving note, a jar of spaghetti, a jar of sauce, and a pot. Don't forget to post the link to eHow in your PS. http://www.ehow.com/way_5147130_making-spaghetti.html
If he can accomplish that, do the same with another dish you like. And, so on.
Seriously, if he doesn't know how to cook, you can teach him by cooking together for fun....making simple dishes you both enjoy. If he does know how to cook, but won't, IMHO, he is being lazy. Or, he has strictly labeled your role as "house cook," a title which no one else can claim. That's a hard one to break. You can overcome the latter two by suggesting places that he can use for "take out" when you are unable to cook. If he has to head across town so you can eat something healthy for dinner, he might give cooking at home a second thought.0 -
My husband claims that he can't cook, although I have seen him make brownies just fine! If I don't make dinner in time, he will just go and make a can of spaghetti o's and then complain 10 minutes later that he is hungry! He can do that though! He's tiny! He's 23 about 6ft and 170lbs! Before he joined the army he was 120lbs so all of the gained weight is muscle for him, and the little **** does nothing but eat junk all day! It angers me! He wants Mac and cheese for every meal or fried potatoes and pasta with a ton of bread and he doesn't understand that I can't eat all of that! I am 21 5ft ad 200lbs! So no! I can't eat all of that all of the time!0
-
Aw. No fun! I have been sneaky about this and just cook my dinner with my husband's. You could cook ahead if possible. I'm sure he can handle the microwave. That's what I do with my husband. I don't let mine cook because he makes a giant mess and doesn't measure things out. He gets breakfast, lunch, and dinner made for him everyday in return and I work.
So yeah, I recommend making food in batches throughout the week... casseroles, crock pot, soups etc. and/or cook the night before and have them microwave the dishes. Your husband will figure it out or just let it go. He won't let the kid's starve though. That's for sure, I don't care who you are.
THIS^^ has always worked awesome for me...my husband can and does cook as long as I have ingredients he knows what to with on hand. Try to get your man into grilling...all guys LOVE playing with fire
Also maybe have stirfry veggies and presliced strips of meat. Teach him how to stirfry. Its fast and easy.
The best advice I can give is just ask him and leave instructions on how to cook whatever you want him to cook. My husband once made a chicken tortilla soup because I left exact instructions for him (like get the chopping knife out of the drawer under the toaster and mince up some cilantro until its the size of dimes or smaller) Etc.
I find that asking him nicely and giving him good instructions always works...
I also try to throw roast or whatever in the crock pot so that its mostly cooked and ready to go for the evenings.0 -
Look, I know that this response will get some hate. However, truth must be told. It is not the man's role. While there is nothing wrong with a man cooking, it's not his God given job. Skip the gym and take care of your family.
I am glad that I was not the one that stated this, even though I started to.
Love it!!!
0 -
not only thins, but teach him how to put raw veggies on the grill. my son actually ate the onions we grilled- sweet! and delicious! we also grill just about every other thing there isTeach him how to grill real food like steak. If he can't grill, make fun of him.
pineapple, eggplant, tomatoes, garlic, peppers, mushrooms, carrots, corn on the cob...
so much better than the microwave (which I do not trust)
good luck
WOW, these comments makes me wonder why you all are even married in the first place.
Make fun of your husband, the OP calls her husband lazy.
So much for being supportive spouses.0 -
Look, I know that this response will get some hate. However, truth must be told. It is not the man's role. While there is nothing wrong with a man cooking, it's not his God given job. Skip the gym and take care of your family.
Ahem, the last time I checked with folks who believed a woman should do the cooking, many men helped out, ESPECIALLY if you put a BBQ in front of them.
Some women would prefer their kids eat earlier than they do (especially if school lunch is before noon and dinner not until 7PM). I don't think it is shameful to ask her husband to feed their kids if she will be delayed.
I do understand some people are very stringent about roles and will not cross that line, but IMHO sometimes you need to be flexible in order for the family to flourish.0 -
Look, I know that this response will get some hate. However, truth must be told. It is not the man's role. While there is nothing wrong with a man cooking, it's not his God given job. Skip the gym and take care of your family.
Yes, the OP must remember that even though she works outside the home, and later hours than her husband, everything inside the home is still her responsibility. After all, her husband just got home from work. He needs to relax!
ETA: When I got married, I couldn't cook, at all. We ate a lot of packaged junk. But I did teach myself through cookbooks, food network, and trial and error when I was 27. Now I'm so good, people pay me to do it. You can teach an old dog new tricks. No one needs to be a rock star in the kitchen, but it's good to know a handful of basic, healthy dishes.0 -
Look, I know that this response will get some hate. However, truth must be told. It is not the man's role. While there is nothing wrong with a man cooking, it's not his God given job. Skip the gym and take care of your family.
I am glad that I was not the one that stated this, even though I started to.
Love it!!!
HAHAHAHAAH... I was wondering who'd be the first to transport us back into the middle ages!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
I find it hilarious that there are over 100 posts concerning how to get a 35 year old man to make dinner for his children. Are you kidding me? Is your husband really so helpless that he can't figure out how to do this on his own?0
-
Help me find a way to get my husband to cook. We have 3 kids. I work later hours than he does. Tonight I'm going to the gym right after work. He has to feed the kids....he text's me to say there is no food in the house, when what he means is there's nothing quick like mac & cheese or frozen pizza, chicken nuggets etc. Our fridge is full of food and so is the freezer.
I'm livid, he is 35!! The kids can't keep eating junk because he is lazy.
What do others do for situations like this? Am I to spend my entire weekend making up casseroles and stocking the fridge with frozen crap so he can "cook"??
My husband doesn't cook and that doesn't make your husband or my husband lazy......................IT JUST MEANS THAT NEITHER ONE OF THEM CAN'T COOK.
I am sorry, but it is wrong for people to come on the internet and b*tch, moan and complain about their spouse. Look around at every thing else he does for you and the kids......................Do you still think he is lazy???? Probably not. So, don't say that he is lazy.
bla bla bla....
Surely she knows him better than you!
I trust her judgement. If he says he's lazy I'll take it.0 -
He's 23, but wait a few years (like 7) and all those ghost pound, the ones from all the crap he's eating now, will sit round his middle before creeping upwards to his moobs and down to his lardy *kitten*.My husband claims that he can't cook, although I have seen him make brownies just fine! If I don't make dinner in time, he will just go and make a can of spaghetti o's and then complain 10 minutes later that he is hungry! He can do that though! He's tiny! He's 23 about 6ft and 170lbs! Before he joined the army he was 120lbs so all of the gained weight is muscle for him, and the little **** does nothing but eat junk all day! It angers me! He wants Mac and cheese for every meal or fried potatoes and pasta with a ton of bread and he doesn't understand that I can't eat all of that! I am 21 5ft ad 200lbs! So no! I can't eat all of that all of the time!0 -
Thank you all! He can grill, but if I haven't set meat out to defrost he is lost...and his version of grilling is heating the grill while standing there with a beer...once I have flavored the meat and set it on a tray he retrieves it, stands outside while its cooking and drinking more beer LOL
I have tried to teach him some things, that is how he now knows how to make macaroni and cheese : ) I've also shown him how to brown meat, make tuna noodle casserole, bake chicken etc. Our fridge was full, so was the freezer.....he ended up ordering pizza.
Last night I went home and told him that its high time he learn to cook, we've been married 6 years, its time. Luckily for him he agreed. SO next weekend I'm planning on sitting in the kitchen and having him cook : )
We have a LOT of cook books, but the kids one is a good idea...I assume if its easy enough for a kid it would be for him as well?
And yes he sister and mother babied him until he and I got married, the man didn't even know how to turn the oven on or use his own washer and dryer!
Thank goodness he isn't on this site LOL0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 176K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.6K Fitness and Exercise
- 431 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.4K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions