Online dating differences
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I gave up online dating but lemme give you some insight here. I personally was not looking for anyone to be clever or witty or tell me their life story upon first email. Before I read the email I would look at the profile and ask myself "would I be interested in this guy" and go with my FIRST GUT INSTINCT. I don't believe in wasting anyone's time. At first I would answer back and just say "thank you but I'm not interested" and more times than not I would get an email back full of insults, calling me snooty or who do I think I am, etc. Anyone who knows me in real life knows I don't have a snotty bone in my body and I don't have an overinflated ego but since I was on online dating during my recreational time, I was not going to set myself up for insults or drama anymore. So I decided if I didn't think I'd be into the guy, I wouldn't answer. Also, if the guy came off as creepy or said I was "hot" instead of noticing something in my profile he could relate to, then I knew he probably had little interest in getting to know ME.
Please understand...I know it's hard to send that first email, which is why I never did (too shy lol) but it's not easy for girls on these sites. I've met my share of weirdos...so many that I absolutely refuse to date at this point lol. I'm talking crazy fetishes, 3 guys who proposed to me seriously on our FIRST date, you have no clue. And I'm cute but nothing to write home about and I'm older so I can only imagine what the stunners have to go thru lol
I dk if I could ever online date again but good luck to ya!
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That's more understandable, especially if you say that.Unfortunately, most of the time lol...that's just what I look like! It's not a glare though, I was at work and thinking (I think a lot). In person I smile often and regularly...but I'm just not a person who has a light switch smile for a camera (I made a point of saying this in my profile on that site by the way).
Gimme a few and I'll post up the pictures. Some of them are on here as well I think.
You don't need to tell me that! Just make sure you tell them.Cold meaning me messaging someone out of the blue without invitation. Similar to cold calls made by telemarketers etc. Not cold as in 'heartless' lol.
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Never mind thenThe 'hook up' comment was in direct response to her profile. My entire message was to be honest. She said she absolutely hates hook ups. My response was in agreement.
So....what does your profile say? I'll critique that too if you want :laugh: Actually I went in and revamped 2 of my friends profiles on POF and their messages started to sky rocket after I "slightly" changed it but said all the same things basically. You are on the internet, be very clear. You may have a certain sense of humor thats hard to read over text as well.0 -
People need to realize that there are way more men than women on dating sites. Its hard for men to meet women because of the massive amount of messages they get from men. Its very over whelming, they dont have time to put in some thought to message people so they keep it short..
I met some great women on there but it was hard to date them because guys would text, stalk them by googling their username and track them to their facebook, and calling. They never go away. Ever. I get it, its frustrating when there are like 12 guys per 1 girl on those sites, alot of the women are taken and unhappy wanting attention or they are new to the area, bored and just seeing whats out there, or just want a dinner. If there is a good girl who really is wanting to meet someone, the shirtless posing in the mirrors or old guys who always wants to send a pic of their junk to women on the first message usually scares them away.
Ill never get on one ever again, it just doesnt work. It worked for me about 4 times in a 8 year span but its just not worth it. Sites like this is probably better for single people to meet.0 -
haha mostly this. I was one of those people the guys hated because I signed up because I like interacting with people and really enjoy talking to new people, not because I wanted to date. It was a easy chat line. I stated my intentions immediately. I didn't intend to date but then when I met someone and liked them it happened of course. There's also to many of those "why are you here if you don't want to date anyone" people on those sites. It wasn't my intent. And if it was I wouldn't go to a place filled with mostly shallow lonely creepy stalker guys...because honestly, it was rather hard filtering out the ones I wanted to talk to, let alone datePeople need to realize that there are way more men than women on dating sites. Its hard for men to meet women because of the massive amount of messages they get from men. Its very over whelming, they dont have time to put in some thought to message people so they keep it short..
I met some great women on there but it was hard to date them because guys would text, stalk them by googling their username and track them to their facebook, and calling. They never go away. Ever. I get it, its frustrating when there are like 12 guys per 1 girl on those sites, alot of the women are taken and unhappy wanting attention or they are new to the area, bored and just seeing whats out there, or just want a dinner. If there is a good girl who really is wanting to meet someone, the shirtless posing in the mirrors or old guys who always wants to send a pic of their junk to women on the first message usually scares them away.
Ill never get on one ever again, it just doesnt work. It worked for me about 4 times in a 8 year span but its just not worth it. Sites like this is probably better for single people to meet.
A friend of mine is going through this now. He got ssooo excited when a real live person that he could take in gave him her number haha.0 -
haha mostly this. I was one of those people the guys hated because I signed up because I like interacting with people and really enjoy talking to new people, not because I wanted to date. It was a easy chat line. I stated my intentions immediately. I didn't intend to date but then when I met someone and liked them it happened of course. There's also to many of those "why are you here if you don't want to date anyone" people on those sites. It wasn't my intent. And if it was I wouldn't go to a place filled with mostly shallow lonely creepy stalker guys...because honestly, it was rather hard filtering out the ones I wanted to talk to, let alone datePeople need to realize that there are way more men than women on dating sites. Its hard for men to meet women because of the massive amount of messages they get from men. Its very over whelming, they dont have time to put in some thought to message people so they keep it short..
I met some great women on there but it was hard to date them because guys would text, stalk them by googling their username and track them to their facebook, and calling. They never go away. Ever. I get it, its frustrating when there are like 12 guys per 1 girl on those sites, alot of the women are taken and unhappy wanting attention or they are new to the area, bored and just seeing whats out there, or just want a dinner. If there is a good girl who really is wanting to meet someone, the shirtless posing in the mirrors or old guys who always wants to send a pic of their junk to women on the first message usually scares them away.
Ill never get on one ever again, it just doesnt work. It worked for me about 4 times in a 8 year span but its just not worth it. Sites like this is probably better for single people to meet.
A friend of mine is going through this now. He got ssooo excited when a real live person that he could take in gave him her number haha.
Most on there are not there to date. Its so true. Women really do like meet new people and chatting and the guys are there to date, hook up, or find the one. I have alot of female friends and all of them on there are not there to date either. Its just fun for them to chat. They say dudes on there say stupid things like"i love you", "will you be my girlfriend", or things like "hey you into group thing?" on the first date. One had a dude just started rubbing one off on the way to the restaurant, the first date. They tell me so many horror stories.
The only reason it kinda worked for me was I made my profile different than the other guys, I used the opposite approach, instead of selling myself, I tried to get women to realize that they shouldn't date me. I never tried or cared, weirdly, women sure do seem to like a man who isnt that impressed withthem, i guess the challenge thing. IDK.
I bet he does get excited, its an accomplishment for a guy to meet a chick on there. Many og my guy frineds cant meet one single chick on there and they have been on there for years.0 -
cold hard fact
if no response, she didnt find you attractive enuff
that right there.
sorry but its the truth. If a woman is attracted to you you can write the "HI" and she will write back. Move on and find someone worth your time.
If all a guy from an online dating site said was hi. I wouldnt even look at the profile. If you cant come up with more than hi why waste my time.
I agree, 100%.0 -
When I was on a dating site over 2 years ago, I would usually size up a guy similar to the way I would do in real life. The first message is really only part of it, since it does not take a lengthy introduction to just talk to me. Just talk! But the profile is important, as is the conversation that follows. If the profile turns me off then my message in return will not be as inviting. IF the guy is really ugly, lonely and already clingy sounding, still in a relationship, or thinks I'll like "hey sexy wanna talk" as a message, then no response from me. If he comes across as too shallow big turn off too. How far it goes depends on the things below.
- is he friend category, or potentially more than friend category or uniteresting/weird/creepy/old/married? - we can talk.
-Is he attractive? yes, we can talk and I'll enjoy it more.
- what is the bulk of his profile about? Is the content of his interests and intensity of those interests compatible with mine?
-does he have a a hundred half naked women as friends?
-Does he constantly compliment every woman who talks to him?
-- is he active, easygoing, conservative a plus? kindness?
-does he have similar religious beliefs?
-does he carry a good conversation regardless of how alike we are or are not?0 -
Pictures...just for the purpose of this discussion. For the record...I gave up on this awhile ago lol. This was just an interesting discussion between a friend and I.
(main image)
(This one is in there with the caption 'How most nights end around here...!')
AND...profile:~Disclaimer!! - If I message you...its not because I think you'll be the love of my life...or because I think we're a 'match'...or for any reason other than that something in your profile drew my attention. Whether it's your picture, some (or many) common interest(s)/morals...or something else entirely (like the above plus a common career interest etc)...isn't relevant. I've messaged very few women on here...most don't reply (which is totally ok!), but I can't help but think of the missed opportunity for friendship that is lost. I mean...you never know, my best friend might end up being the love of your life...or vice versa. To me...that's a win/win. Make a new friend or two...and meet people you never would have otherwise?
For sure!
Or...we may be, well...a perfect match (right?)! But we'll never know without talking.
On to your regularly scheduled programming ~
Hello everyone, I'm Cris.
A little about me? I'm a single dad of three incredible kids, aged 14 (daughter), 6, and 5 (sons). I have custody of them, which is part of why I've moved back to Phoenix. My kids are my life of course, as any of you that have kids know...but there's got to be some room for me in there as well. My daughter is a WONDERFUL babysitter...and so I'm lucky enough to be able to take a night off once in a while to go do something when the situation allows it. I've got dozens of hobbies lol...but prefer to focus on my family. My girlfriend (once I have one, of course) is invariably included in that focus. Relationships have to be maintained...and if you truly care about someone, wanting to be with them should be a given, don't you think? I'm in the process of getting set back up for school, in order to get my associates degree so I can begin pharmacy school.
I believe a healthy body and mind are one in the same...and keep myself on the track to both...and so fitness is important to me. Not that I wouldn't date someone who thought they were less than 'ideal'. What's ideal? I've dated women who had a few lbs extra, as well as very thin women...it's THE PERSON that counts. Don't get me wrong, mutual physical attraction is a MUST, but that can mean a lot of things. I'm not looking for Miss Perfect...I'm looking for Miss Perfect For Me. Anyway though, my point is that taking care of yourself and your body should be at least somewhat a priority (even if it just means being active and going places). That being said, I only work out three days a week, for less than an hour, and am more than ok to skip it for whatever reason (like seeing you...lol). I eat whatever I want...and am ok with fattening foods etc. I'm just a normal guy who keeps in shape! I'm certainly not one of those gym rats who seem to live at the place, have to eat 40oz of protein every 2hrs, and basically have no life. I stay strong and healthy to enjoy my life...I don't live to stay strong and healthy lol.
Another thing that's important to me, is passion. I'm not talking about just sexual passion...I'm talking about passion for life, for me, for your/my kids, for food, fun, and late nights talking until sunrise...
You know...passion.
Also critical, are honesty...loyalty, and integrity. Plus, you need to be open to the fact that if I feel it...I'm going to tell you...pretty much no matter what it is. If we meet, and you are just intoxicating to me, I'll tell you. If I can't wait to hear your ringtone on my phone...I'll tell you. If text notifications that aren't you make me a little sad...yep, you'll probably know. Hopefully, you'll be the same with me. Being scared of closeness is being closed to life, and whether its sooner or later in the relationship isn't relevant. If its not there...people tend to know right away...if it is, then...it is...and I'm the type to go with it. Now...this doesn't mean I'm going to flood you with sappy love messages all the time! It just means that if I like you...I won't hesitate to let you know. For some reason in today's world...people seem to treat that as unacceptable...and moreso in Phoenix than in other places I've lived (big city I guess).
When dating I usually date within 1-10 years younger...any more than that and things really probably wouldn't work (knowing who Gilligan is is probably like...a key indicator of the proper age gap lol). I'm pretty open though, show me maturity and I'm willing to trust. Friends are welcome of any age, be it older or younger.
~~ Edit - It's been mentioned to me I should smile more...and in person, I do! I know its hard to believe from the pictures...and you HAVE to keep this to yourselves or it'll totally ruin my reputation...but in person...I'm even known for...laughing!!...shhh!!! Seriously though...I'm just not one of those guys that has an on/off smile switch for the camera. My smiles, when they come (which I'm sure is far more often than you'd think), are heartfelt, and genuine...and, if you're the girl for me...you can trust that you'll be seeing them often.
~ Cris
Discuss!0 -
Ok guys. Cris gave me his log in info. I read his profile & the profiles of the girls with the messages he has sent in the past. I have to honestly say that the example he used is not indicative of the messages. They are personal to their profile. Very engaging. They lead to more conversation. Nothing creepy.
IMPORTANT: 8 out of 10 messages are deleted without even being read or his profile looked at.0 -
Gotta admit, like others, being a girl on one of these sites is soooo troublesome. That's why I just stopped putting my picture up, to ward guys off. (Some guys keep trying, though, which is semi-good?)
I appreciate when someone writes a long message... but it CAN be hard to tell if that is related specifically to you. Oh they mentioned something in my profile. Am I sure that wasn't a fill-in-the-blank? Trust. I get paragraphs and delete them after reading and then 6 weeks later LOL WORD FOR WORD its the same dudes. Like I don't think they realize that girls aren't that dimwitted.
And yes unfortunately it's hard for girls to be super interested in a guy because ughh a lot of guys I thought were cute were sloppy writers and just wanted my number and pics from the get-go. Even guys I DIDN'T think were cute SWORE they were the "papichulo" of my wet dreams.
What really gets me to talk with people is if they casually bring something up in a jokey way (cuz that's the type of personality I give off in my profile); "Wow, I really like engineering too. Where do you study?" CREEP. "Haha engineering? Cool! What type, I'm mech" BETTER.
And the first boyfriend I got off one of these messaged me with "Hey you're cute". I hate these messages, but I'm polite enough to answer. The convo just turns more comfortable. If you don't have the same personality type as the girl.. its better that you know now you're just not compatible. (Speeches, uberformality and awkwardness make me go "ehhh.")
Just keep trying.....0 -
Just be true to yourself ~ don't over think it so much. I realize it gets daunting, but if you have to put that much effort into a msg what is a date going to be like? When you meet the right one, whether online or elsewhere, it will be effortless. I knew the moment I read my boyfriends profile that he was the one & his original msg to me was very brief. Know what you want in a woman & don't settle until you find her
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Bro do what I do and send this message out
"I strongly believe its a mans duty to make the woman *** first. Now, how about those drinks you and I are gonna have before we share that cigarette later"0 -
*Taking Notes* lol!
On a serious note - really pleased you posted this topic. I am a rubbish conversationalist. As we know...
But....like some people have commented, it really depends on how you put yourself across. The majority of the time I respond to the majority of my messages (friendship or otherwise). The only time I don't respond is if its a one liner and I can't think of something to reply with that would validate sending a message back OR if I feel I've made an *kitten* of myself or overstepped a line or two....dependent on the situation.
I think overall, the first thing that attracts people to someone's profile is if they are indeed attractive to that person, followed by polite messages in order to learn about someone, which would hopefully grow into friendship. More if you're looking.
On the other hand, some people may come off as a little flirtacious at first in order to break the ice and get to know you.
But the fundamental thing with friendships and online dating is that you have to have mutual interests or same life goals etc etc.
Just be yourself - if anyone is interested, they will get to know you. They will find something to converse about. It's the basis of making friendships and more.
In saying all the above, as I said I regard myself as a poor conversationalist and sometimes don't read between the lines so to speak. But then, I'am one of those women that would need a guy to say "hey, look I do actually like you in that way", Or "I do like you, lets be friends and get to know each other better and see where it ends up"
Just be yourself....I'll read that last post you put up, as I got the majority of the way through this thread and dived into replying!0 -
I should add that when I was on that site (christiandatingforfree.com)
I got 15-30 messages a day, not counting IM's as an estimate. A lot of the guys who talked to me were cool, nice and or cute. But I really wasn't feeling it all the way, and decided to seek out someone I'd find interesting.
That's when I met my now, in the process of becoming ex-husband. We hit it off like CRAZY. He had a great picture up with this sexy half smile on his face. His profile was long enough but to the point. Maybe 4 small paragraphs. He talked about an emotional/sweet experience where he was at a rally against the Darfur Genocide, and a man came up to him crying and hugged him saying "I didn't know white people cared!". (emotional appeal)
He wrote with excitement about living a life of ADVENTURE and all the fun things he liked to do outdoors, how he wanted to travel the world and help people with counseling (switched to nursing). -(this guy sounds fun!)
He also (don't remember what now) touched on being a Christian and presented a very inviting introduction for friends/anyone who wants to talk to him, if I remember correctly.
So, like I said we hit it off, and he asked me to marry him two weeks in and 6 weeks later married! I always thought this was a cool story. But as I said in the beginning of the post.... he wants out now. And its very complicated...
and we should have expected issues and things from getting married so fast, but we thought we were alike enough and cared enough that it wouldn't matter.
I say all that to say that perhaps you are messaging the wrong girls. Billions of people in the world, and you only need one (the, or a right one depending on your philosphy).
Re: your profile, I read it all, and I think its great. It has a lot of things to draw you in... The whole thing is a bit long though. It comes across as a little long and a little serious. So much right away. For me, I'm drawn in by a guy who is inviting, friendly, and a little mysterious (at first) If I signed up for a dating site in 6 months (not over my ex), and saw this on a profile, I would certainly still respond to a message. I might be a bit more reserved though because I'd be thinking you're a guy ready to get serious quickly, and I am no in way going to get serious quickly with someone. Not after what happened last time. Its good to recognize a good thing when you have it, but if a girl thinks you are ready to settle down right when you find her, it might be a little intimidating.
I DO really like your last paragraph, and many sentences within your profile. If I weren't still tired (and hadn't written a book already), I'd go and put in bold all the sentences and paragraphs I think are inviting. I'm just thinking that length is possibly contributing to your issue, because your pictures are great, and you seem like a really nice guy. A lot of women will make a quick judgment because as others have said, we get tons of messages every day on those sites. I do agree its kinda rude not to respond, if only to say, "thanks for your message, have a great day!" or SOMETHING...0 -
OK....read your profile message with pics etc.....
I can't fathom out why you haven't had more interest! There's loads to talk about with you on that very profile!
I can pick out at least a dozen things that I would talk to you about. If not more. There was a couple of lines, that for me personally, would have made me want to know more because of the way you had written it. Not a negative as such, but MAY be taken as a negative to some women.
I'd just be yourself Cris.....You are worth getting to know and for all those ladies out there who didn't / don't even respond....their loss and somebody else's match, be it friendship or otherwise. Notice I didn't put perfect match lol! - we ALL have flaws.0 -
OK....read your profile message with pics etc.....
I can't fathom out why you haven't had more interest! There's loads to talk about with you on that very profile!
I can pick out at least a dozen things that I would talk to you about. If not more. There was a couple of lines, that for me personally, would have made me want to know more because of the way you had written it. Not a negative as such, but MAY be taken as a negative to some women.
I'd just be yourself Cris.....You are worth getting to know and for all those ladies out there who didn't / don't even respond....their loss and somebody else's match, be it friendship or otherwise. Notice I didn't put perfect match lol! - we ALL have flaws.
What she said. (while I think it is long and may be quickly judged as "serious", there IS a ton of good conversation starter "bait" in there.
Nobody needs to have a perfect profile. Maybe try a different site? Because they all have a different feel.0 -
Let me tell you, dear friends, why online dating sites majorly suck for a normal, average guy looking for a relationship and why he must accept it is either a numbers game or a matter of monumental luck.
Dating sites have two potential advantages for some guys over a RL scenario: much less fear of rejection or social embarrassment due to anonymity and less ground work. Pretty easy to send an email. Much more work to get spruced up and spend time approaching. Therefore these sites attract a lot of men, which given the anonymity, includes a fair amount of nutjobs.
As such most women, irrespective of their level of relative attractiveness, get bombarded with messages. This causes them either to become either hyper selective and narrow the fields of what they will let slide significantly, distort their perception of how attractive they are or delete most messages given time constraints and fear or weirdos.
Therefore as a man you have to accept unless you are very attractive, have a large amount of luck and message a woman who is looking for someone pretty muck like you who hasn't already been messaged already by a similar man, or play the numbers game, you are on a hiding to nothing.
Most guys will therefore be left out in the cold and their usage of the site will diminish. This leaves many guys who are just playing the numbers (I believe they are called "players") or very attractive guys who probably already have their pick of women. The result: a greater likelihood of a hook up than a relationship. Adverse selection at its finest.
So here is your choice nice guys: play the numbers game or play the loooooooong game where luck plays a big part. There's probably very little wrong with your profile, or your pics or your messages. Don't drive yourself nuts with it. Just realise you are playing against a rigged deck.
The house always wins...0 -
When I was on a dating site over 2 years ago, I would usually size up a guy similar to the way I would do in real life. The first message is really only part of it, since it does not take a lengthy introduction to just talk to me. Just talk! But the profile is important, as is the conversation that follows. If the profile turns me off then my message in return will not be as inviting. IF the guy is really ugly, lonely and already clingy sounding, still in a relationship, or thinks I'll like "hey sexy wanna talk" as a message, then no response from me. If he comes across as too shallow big turn off too. How far it goes depends on the things below.
- is he friend category, or potentially more than friend category or uniteresting/weird/creepy/old/married? - we can talk.
-Is he attractive? yes, we can talk and I'll enjoy it more.
- what is the bulk of his profile about? Is the content of his interests and intensity of those interests compatible with mine?
-does he have a a hundred half naked women as friends?
-Does he constantly compliment every woman who talks to him?
-- is he active, easygoing, conservative a plus? kindness?
-does he have similar religious beliefs?
-does he carry a good conversation regardless of how alike we are or are not?
THAT!!!!
I found my OH on a dating website. His profile came across as honest and funny and a bit self-depricating. He said he likes running in the rain and humms to himself when he's happy. His photo was from a running race, a happy smile and honest eyes.
A summary of the people I didn't respond to:
- those who just didn't sound very bright... you need to be able to have an intelligent conversation with someone
- those who were going on about how much they own... my future man didn't need a ferrari to big himself up
- those going on about how much they earn... so what?!... I don't like materialistic folk.
- those who came across with extreme politics or religion - no thanks
- the topless bicep kissers... oh give me a break
- those with the photos of hords of barbie type girlies around him
- 40 and still living at home with mum... erm....
I took my dog on our first date. She is a great judge of character. She loved him instantly. Ran up to him like she'd known him in a previous life and he didn't mind getting jumped and licked and laughed. I knew he was the one. :bigsmile:0 -
When dating I usually date within 1-10 years younger...
That line would have been a deal breaker for me personally.
I would see guys who were my age (40) but their age range for their perfect woman would be 18-30. :huh: What's all that about?
I didn't like the fact that they wouldn't consider dating anyone their own age.0 -
Psh you have a 675cc triumph speed tripple, that has win written all over it. Everyone should appreciate that
what year is it? I am use to seeing the round double headlight older ones. 0 -
I was instructed to read this... i have to say, I am a little blown away by this discussion. Everyone is soo deep and no one is wrong. Cris... we will talk later when there is more time. But I will say any girl that can Intoxicate you is worth your time. She will come along... just wait and see.0
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I generally get responses lately. I basically just comment on something specific to their profile, maybe make a joke of some kind, and then ask them a question they can reply to. If they have a dog I will ask them about it, because women seem to love talking about their pets. That and I'm a huge dog lover anyway. And then I give my name, I think it makes me sound like a real person instead of some online persona.
It also kind of depends on who you message. I never bother messaging anybody that hasn't logged in for a few weeks, I stick to within a day or two. If nobody is replying to you, stop only messaging the hottest girls you can find because they probably get like 100 emails a day.
About the profile and pics...I only got to the second paragraph and got bored, but I'm sure it's riveting. I also get annoyed when people post photos without themselves actually in them. I don't want to see photos of someone's cat, car, computer, whatever. I have pics of myself with my dog. The bike might work for you though.
But yeah the whole process is just annoying. You can email someone and they practically throw their number at you, but then they flake out when you want to schedule a date. Sometimes people will respond to your emails with one word answers, or not even answer your questions. Or they will email you, so you type up a good response, and then they disappear. Maybe some just have zero conversation skills or they are not interested, but geez ask me a question or something.0 -
When dating I usually date within 1-10 years younger...
That line would have been a deal breaker for me personally.
I would see guys who were my age (40) but their age range for their perfect woman would be 18-30. :huh: What's all that about?
I didn't like the fact that they wouldn't consider dating anyone their own age.
1-10yrs younger isn't 10+yrs younger lol. Plus if you read...I didn't actually exclude anyone. Preferences aren't absolutes...and comparing 1-10yrs with 10+...isn't really fair.
On top of that...and understand this is a generalization that I've always been willing to have proved wrong...but women of 'my age' or generation (+/-5yrs or so) really don't seem to have the same wants as I do. They say they do...and I'm sure they believe they do...but in the end the compatibility is rarely there.0 -
Psh you have a 675cc triumph speed tripple, that has win written all over it. Everyone should appreciate that what year is it? I am use to seeing the round double headlight older ones.
Aww thanks!!
Its 2006 Daytona 675. 125hp, 400lbs...and the top AMA superbike running at the moment lol.0 -
Ha! I didn't know you lived in Phoenix when I wrote my reply about Camelback and Squaw Peak, I'm very amused LOL!!0
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If you would have sent me that message.. I would have responded IF I was interested.
When I first started online dating, I'd respond to everyone because it was polite. Even a short "thank you"...
Now, I usually ignore if I'm not interested. I will make the exception if a guy obviously took the time to read my profile by commenting a lot about it. I will thank them without giving them bait, so to speak.
If a guy I was interested in sent me a simple "hello". I might just be a smart *kitten* back and say "hi.". It would seem he didn't put any effort.
The guy I'm chatting with now sent a "hey, how are you doing?" I bit the bait!0 -
1-10yrs younger isn't 10+yrs younger lol. Plus if you read...I didn't actually exclude anyone. Preferences aren't absolutes...and comparing 1-10yrs with 10+...isn't really fair.
On top of that...and understand this is a generalization that I've always been willing to have proved wrong...but women of 'my age' or generation (+/-5yrs or so) really don't seem to have the same wants as I do. They say they do...and I'm surrenders they believe they do...but in the end the compatibility is rarely there.
I hear what you're saying. I was just trying to explain how this may come across to a woman reading it... whether this be intended by you or not.
If I look at a profile of a guy who wants their women ideally a decade younger than themselves, then there are several conclusions I could jump to...
- he's immature
- he's a player
- he wants someone he can dominate
- he's vain and wants some arm candy that makes him look better
- he's judgemental about women his own age and thinks they're all boring, unadventurous and "past it"
- once you're ten years older he'll dump you for a younger model again
You're probably none of those things... Just saying how it could be interpreted.0 -
1-10yrs younger isn't 10+yrs younger lol. Plus if you read...I didn't actually exclude anyone. Preferences aren't absolutes...and comparing 1-10yrs with 10+...isn't really fair.
On top of that...and understand this is a generalization that I've always been willing to have proved wrong...but women of 'my age' or generation (+/-5yrs or so) really don't seem to have the same wants as I do. They say they do...and I'm surrenders they believe they do...but in the end the compatibility is rarely there.
I hear what you're saying. I was just trying to explain how this may come across to a woman reading it... whether this be intended by you or not.
If I look at a profile of a guy who wants their women ideally a decade younger than themselves, then there are several conclusions I could jump to...
- he's immature
- he's a player
- he wants someone he can dominate
- he's vain and wants some arm candy that makes him look better
- he's judgemental about women his own age and thinks they're all boring, unadventurous and "past it"
- once you're ten years older he'll dump you for a younger model again
You're probably none of those things... Just saying how it could be interpreted.
Ahh I see! Isn't it amazing how simply saying something about your preferences can make others assume things about you? I'm not saying you are wrong for making assumptions...we all do it. Its just crazy what can be pulled out of things.0 -
I would reply, there are only a couple of reasons I would not reply and it has nothing to do with your message. Some women are very picky. Maybe they want a certain age group, or someone that's never been married, or no kids, no smoking, etc. But I would be very flattered if someone that looked like you messaged me :blushing: But I have pretty much given up on online dating, no guy wants me because I am not a barbie doll. Which used to hurt my feelings but I have learned that men are visual creatures and women are emotional creatures. I like a guy for his personality, and I wish men would see mine. So I decided that no one is going to like me looking like this, and plus the person I see in the mirror is not me. I hate the person in the mirror. So im on a journey, to release the real me. Anyway I have got off subject, my advice is to be completely honest and don't be afraid to be yourself. Someone will sweep you up, and I hope it is soon. Happy hunting :bigsmile:0
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I would reply, there are only a couple of reasons I would not reply and it has nothing to do with your message. Some women are very picky. Maybe they want a certain age group, or someone that's never been married, or no kids, no smoking, etc. But I would be very flattered if someone that looked like you messaged me :blushing: But I have pretty much given up on online dating, no guy wants me because I am not a barbie doll. Which used to hurt my feelings but I have learned that men are visual creatures and women are emotional creatures. I like a guy for his personality, and I wish men would see mine. So I decided that no one is going to like me looking like this, and plus the person I see in the mirror is not me. I hate the person in the mirror. So im on a journey, to release the real me. Anyway I have got off subject, my advice is to be completely honest and don't be afraid to be yourself. Someone will sweep you up, and I hope it is soon. Happy hunting :bigsmile:
Your post really moved me. So raw and honest, and I can relate.0
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