My boyfriend likes me heavier :(

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  • cPT_Helice
    cPT_Helice Posts: 403
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    Just tell him he is going to have to like you healthier instead of heavier. Would he also like you to start smoking?
  • Kenhabes
    Kenhabes Posts: 187 Member
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    Tell him you would like him smarter and more compassionate. End of line.
  • gwenmf
    gwenmf Posts: 888 Member
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    Your health and body preference take precedence over his. End of story.

    Yep. This!
  • merzback
    merzback Posts: 453 Member
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    It's his insecurity but to me that's also as bad and nasty as a man telling you that you'd just look better if you went on a diet and lost 10lbs. If he can't accept you to who you are, then it's time to move on.
  • SPNLuver83
    SPNLuver83 Posts: 2,050 Member
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    First and foremost be concerned about how YOU feel, not him. It is YOUR body, not his. As far as I am concerned if he cannot appreciate what you are trying to do you should find someone who will.
  • merzback
    merzback Posts: 453 Member
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    no offense but I think you need to RUN from this one.
  • mahlerosa
    mahlerosa Posts: 56
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    GET A NEW BOYFRIEND!
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
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    My husband liked me heavier too...

    I filed for divorce in March. End of story.
    :laugh:
    Of course he liked you fat.
    That was his power over you. A fit women is a self-empowered woman.
    He always knew you deserved better.
  • MrzBlessedLady
    MrzBlessedLady Posts: 171 Member
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    Sounds like he is insecure or jealous. It may be that he doesn't want other men looking at you also, he should be happy and proud that you have lost weight and become healthier. You deserve much better in my opinion!
  • gwenmf
    gwenmf Posts: 888 Member
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    I see several possibilities from the posts here... all very good ones I might add.

    1. He is extremely insecure and afraid that you will leave him once you gain confidence and feel more attractive.

    2. He doesn't want to upset you by making you think he WANTS you to lose weight.

    3. He truly does just like heavier women (in which case... if he can't accept you thinner... cut him loose).

    4. AND MOST IMPORTANT... This is all for YOU and not for him!!! Do NOT sacrifice being healthy because ....... "I want to please him and make him happy." Putting your own health aside to make another person happy is called codependency... it's NOT a healthy way to think or to live.

    Excellent advice!
  • Gioooo
    Gioooo Posts: 301 Member
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    ew. if my bf ever dared to tell me how im supposed to look id tell him to suck a big one
  • JacMarieSTL
    JacMarieSTL Posts: 68 Member
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    My husband liked me heavier too...

    I filed for divorce in March. End of story.
    :laugh:
    Of course he liked you fat.
    That was his power over you. A fit women is a self-empowered woman.
    He always knew you deserved better.

    SO VERY TRUE!! :)
  • 13inchestogo
    13inchestogo Posts: 296 Member
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    What is your weight? Are you underweight now?

    Because if you are still in a healthy weight range he is being SUPER selfish and unsupportive. But doesn't mean he is a bad guy, he just sounds like he wants you to know you were beautiful to him even when you thought you werent? I could see if you are actually underweight and unhealthy, but otherwise he is being silly. You own your body, not him :S
  • nikkiprickett
    nikkiprickett Posts: 412 Member
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    Your healthiness and feeling good should be what he wants most over wanting you to have bigger boobs and what not. If you're healthy and he's not supporting how good you feel, tell him to shove it :)
    I can't imagine if my hubby would tell me that he wants the old me back because HE liked it better.
    Could it possibly be jealousy? That he doesn't want anyone else to notice you (not that they didn't before) but I know some
    guys like to have their women bigger and unhealthier because they will be less appealing to other men who like smaller fit women.
    That disgusts me. If you've had the willpower and strength to lose, he should appreciate that!
  • Love2HikeMT
    Love2HikeMT Posts: 42
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    I would ditch this guy. Any man who wants his 'woman' heavy and unhealthy is possessive. He is the one that is unhealthy ~ mentally unhealthy. Stick to your success.
  • Ironman2be
    Ironman2be Posts: 140 Member
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    I love fit girls...just saying
  • EvieNieves
    EvieNieves Posts: 31 Member
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    Sounds like an insecure man.
  • gottolosethisweight
    gottolosethisweight Posts: 31 Member
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    Congrats on your weight lose! As long as you are happy and healthy with the way you look that is all that matters. My opinion is that he is scared that you are going to get more attention from other men and is scared that he will lose you. He is insecure. Again this is my opinion. Do what is best for you and makes YOU happy.
  • Enkibean
    Enkibean Posts: 56
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    So, just to be clear.

    If he doesn't like you heavier and wants you to lose weight, he doesn't love you for who you are, and is a therefore horrible person.

    If he does like you heavier and says you don't need to lose weight, he is unsupportive, and is therefore a horrible person.
  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
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    Give him a 10lb bag of potatoes. Then gently explain that he is asking you to carry that around with you all day and you would rather not.

    Oh and buy tighter trousers. :flowerforyou:

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