Your weight loss: private or public?

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  • Phaedra2014
    Phaedra2014 Posts: 1,254 Member
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    When I go on about it I feel like added pressure is on me. People mean well but really, I don't want all their advice and suggestions and stories of third cousins twice removed who lost weight etc.
    Suddenly, everyone's an expert!

    I detest saying (and hearing), "Oh I can't eat that. Oh I can't come out to dinner." I go, I participate and I work my eating around my plan. My weight loss is not the center of other people's universe:smile:

    I keep it to myself and if they say I look slimmer, I say, "Thank You!"
  • tyroners
    tyroners Posts: 113 Member
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    Public why not I say.
  • SueGremlin
    SueGremlin Posts: 1,066 Member
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    I am very private about it.

    First of all, I don't think anyone really cares to hear me go on about what I eat every day and how much I weigh. Boring! Second, I feel very very VERY uncomfortable when anyone talks about my body.

    Absolutely freaking not.
  • SueGremlin
    SueGremlin Posts: 1,066 Member
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    When I go on about it I feel like added pressure is on me. People mean well but really, I don't want all their advice and suggestions and stories of third cousins twice removed who lost weight etc.
    Suddenly, everyone's an expert!

    I detest saying (and hearing), "Oh I can't eat that. Oh I can't come out to dinner." I go, I participate and I work my eating around my plan. My weight loss is not the center of other people's universe:smile:

    I keep it to myself and if they say I look slimmer, I say, "Thank You!"
    Exactly this. I don't expect anyone to adjust their life to accommodate me. A coworker is constantly worried about what I will and will not eat, and frankly, it's incredibly annoying. What I eat is my business and mine alone. Why would anyone CARE what I eat?

    It's a sore spot with me, can you tell?
  • SueGremlin
    SueGremlin Posts: 1,066 Member
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    I don't mind making it public at all. I have nothing to hide.......
    It is not about having something to hide. For me it's about having other people trying to control what I do.
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
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    I am very private about it.

    First of all, I don't think anyone really cares to hear me go on about what I eat every day and how much I weigh. Boring! Second, I feel very very VERY uncomfortable when anyone talks about my body.

    Absolutely freaking not.

    Ok, but how do you go about refusing a biscuit at a friend's house? Not having a drink when you usually do? Declining a trip the restaurant. Not having popcorn at the movies when your friends know you usually have the large? etc etc?
  • MFPBrandy
    MFPBrandy Posts: 564 Member
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    Very much private. I think telling other people your intentions is a really stupid thing to do. No one will be happy for you, they will all try to undermine you or point out where you go wrong or just be generally irritating and talk about it. No one wants anyone else to lose weight, that makes them more of a threat. Do it yourself, for you, and let them all comment when you succeed, rather than to make you fail.
    Honey, I think you need some more supportive friends. If the above is true, you deserve better in the people you surround yourself with.
  • SueGremlin
    SueGremlin Posts: 1,066 Member
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    I am very private about it.

    First of all, I don't think anyone really cares to hear me go on about what I eat every day and how much I weigh. Boring! Second, I feel very very VERY uncomfortable when anyone talks about my body.

    Absolutely freaking not.

    Ok, but how do you go about refusing a biscuit at a friend's house? Not having a drink when you usually do? Declining a trip the restaurant. Not having popcorn at the movies when your friends know you usually have the large? etc etc?
    I don't really understand what the problem is. People don't have expectations of me and what I order. I usually pick something light from the menu, adding the calories in my head. I don't turn down invitations to go out, I adjust my intake before and budget for it. If my friends and family started to pressure me, I would get incredibly angry. Why would anyone CARE if I eat cookies or whatever? It doesn't affect anyone else. If I don't want a biscuit, I say "no thank you" and move on.

    You need to worry about your own expectations of yourself and not try to live up to the expectations of others. If pressed, I will tell people vaguely that I am watching my weight and change the subject.
  • HelloSweetie4
    HelloSweetie4 Posts: 1,214 Member
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    If someone notices that I've lost weight then I will tell them what I've been doing. Otherwie, I don't talk about it. I'd rather they notice on their own, that way I know it's working. Plus, when people notice, it's a great opprotunity to tell them about MFP!
  • Hezzietiger1
    Hezzietiger1 Posts: 1,256 Member
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    Mine was private at first.. but people obviously started to notice the changes and asking about it.. then I joined an office Biggest Loser Contest. It became VERY public after that LOL I won btw :)
  • Phaedra2014
    Phaedra2014 Posts: 1,254 Member
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    I don't like having to justify what my eating choices are when I am with friends. If I'm offered a food I don't want, I say, "No thank you." I've had friends who were on a weight loss plan go on and on about the points in a food, the carbs in the other food, the extra time on the treadmill if they ate THAT biscuit. Sheesh!

    In my case, it's not that I think people wouldn't care about my lifestyle changes; it's that they would show that care in a way that's uncomfortable for me - ask me about it every day or want to know what I packed for lunch and oh should I be eating that chip? Is it on "the plan?":ohwell:

    I'm not depriving myself of anything; just making different choices. It's a huge deal but mainly to me.
  • wingednotes
    wingednotes Posts: 279
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    I have had similar feelings in the past. Those same feelings of insecurity contributed to me regaining all of the weight. (40 lbs in a year)
    If I could go back in time and give me advice, I highly recommend some therapy to help with my confidence so that when someone does not compliment me or hurts me in some way, I can be sure that I am still a strong woman who never wants to gain the weight back again.
    Not saying this is you - just that some things you said reminded me of how I used to think.
  • supplemama
    supplemama Posts: 1,956 Member
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    Public! I post about it on Facebook, I have a blog, I post pics on Flickr about it. My husband, children, extended family and friends all know. I am lucky in that everyone is supportive and excited for me. I simply don't keep negative folks in my life. Who needs people who aren't supportive?
  • Gwenski
    Gwenski Posts: 348 Member
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    LImited public. Shared with a sister and close friend when I started for encouragement. When folks started noticing, I simply thanked. If asked directly how I was doing it, I answered minimally but with good, reasonable tips for weight loss.
    I love the'you look great' comments.. but there is an element of judging/expectation that comes alongside that I really don't enjoy.
    I kept it from my mom until she noticed... now she CONSTANTLY looks me up and down, asks "how are you doing???" "how much have you lost" and makes comments about my clothing etc. Honestly, I feel like a heiffer being paraded around at the county fair when I'm with he, and avoid being around her because of it. There's a family reunion coming up and I don't even want to be near her there. Sad, isn't it? She's 83 and I don't even want her there because she won't keep her mouth shut. Why can't my body and my efforts be simply mine, and not a topic of conversation?
  • hothodgie
    hothodgie Posts: 258 Member
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    I haven't hid it at all. I told everyone so they can help me accountable, lol. I have inspired a few close friends and family members to lose along with me. Work is the hardest as people tend to bring in treats, but they are really supportive of me. I love that the people I am close to in my life are so supportive. Makes me feel loved, lol!
  • Hezzietiger1
    Hezzietiger1 Posts: 1,256 Member
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    Very much private. I think telling other people your intentions is a really stupid thing to do. No one will be happy for you, they will all try to undermine you or point out where you go wrong or just be generally irritating and talk about it. No one wants anyone else to lose weight, that makes them more of a threat. Do it yourself, for you, and let them all comment when you succeed, rather than to make you fail.

    You must have really sucky friends.. I'm sorry for you.
  • Impy84
    Impy84 Posts: 430
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    DEF 300% private. I discuss it with maybe 3 people one of whom i live with. I don't need opinions suggestions or commentary. I'm doing it for me and just like my relationship Im not inviting anyone in. If ppl notice and comment a curt thank you suffices and I keep it moving.
  • Phaedra2014
    Phaedra2014 Posts: 1,254 Member
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    You must have really sucky friends.. I'm sorry for you.

    That's a rather judgmental conclusion, with pity for extra effect :frown:
  • MFPBrandy
    MFPBrandy Posts: 564 Member
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    Totally public, on here and FB.

    Means I will never go back to how I was.

    That's how I started -- I needed the kick in the pants that only posting my weight (and promises for weekly updates) on Facebook could give me. Knowing I had to post that photo every Sunday is what motivated me to get on the elliptical or put down the other half of the chocolate bar. I don't like that it took that external motivation--my health and happiness should have been enough--but that's what I needed to get started.
    I didn't announce it to everyone I met (I move frequently for my job, so most my FB friends don't live nearby), but once I lost 20 lbs, people started asking, and I told them how.
    I haven't encountered the negativity or sabotaging other people have reported--that's terrible. My friends encourage, support, but don't try to sabotage, monitor, or "help" too much.
  • toriking
    toriking Posts: 12 Member
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    I've been open and public about mine. I like the support I get and I've not had and negativity come my way.
    It's not a surprise to people that I want to lose weight. I'm fat. The only person who can change that is me.
    I get a lot of support online but also a lot of face to face support and people ask me now how I'm doing it and it starts conversations.
    Totally positive :)

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