My friend wants me to eat cake

Louise12
Louise12 Posts: 389 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
so I am going to a friends house tonight.. i have got my meals planned out . She has just told me that she has baked a fruit cake and asked if i like fruit cake. I said i do like fruit cake but i am trying to be good.

Now i feel like i am making her feel guilty about eating it .

Should i feel bad becuase i declined the cake ?
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Replies

  • psuLemon
    psuLemon Posts: 38,427 MFP Moderator
    I love cake. And i will fit it into my calories once in awhile or workout harder.
  • robinhardysmall
    robinhardysmall Posts: 246 Member
    You have do to what makes you comfortable. You can always thank her for the thought- but tell her that you need to choose some healthier options on your journey right now...
  • jakidb
    jakidb Posts: 1,010 Member
    do not feel bad--your friend should understand that it has nothing to do with them and everything to do with what's best for you:smile:
  • Becoming_A_Butterfly
    Becoming_A_Butterfly Posts: 2,534 Member
    You should never feel bad about making a decision that helps you to stick to your healthy plans.

    That said, fruit cake, according to online calorie counts, has about 140 calories per piece (http://www.nutrientfacts.com/FoodPages/nutritionfacts/nutritionfacts_fruitcake.htm). If it is something you actually want, then just adjust your calories the rest of the day to fit those calories in. If you were only going to eat it to spare her feelings, then I would consider that a waste of calories.
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
    i am trying to be good.

    There is no try, there is only DO. Work (edit) IT into your day
  • Louise12
    Louise12 Posts: 389 Member
    well i have no time to work out today so i cant fit it into my calories and to be honest i dont want to eat it .. im happy with my greek yoghurt . I just dont like the fact that i almost feel like i should eat it to make her feel better ....
  • Dudagarcia
    Dudagarcia Posts: 849 Member
    Why can't you have a small portion? Gosh for years I gave up stuff because I felt how can I eat that just look at how you look! What a wrong mentality I had. Portion and moderation is good.

    Well I think you have decided what u want to do even before u posted this so do that. Eat because u want to eat it.
  • bulbadoof
    bulbadoof Posts: 1,058 Member
    Why don't you just have a sliver? It won't kill your diet and it won't make you or your friend feel guilty. If a full slice is 140 calories, a quarter of a slice is, like, 35. NPNP.

    Remember that this is a lifestyle change and not a "diet" - if you don't let yourself have these things once in a while, you might crack and quit on it - something that would be way worse than a piece of cake every now and then.
  • cmeade20
    cmeade20 Posts: 1,238 Member
    If you really and truly want the cake work it into your calories. If you would just be havingthe cake to make someone else happy don't have it, You're going to fnd that therewill often be situations like that.
  • Becoming_A_Butterfly
    Becoming_A_Butterfly Posts: 2,534 Member
    well i have no time to work out today so i cant fit it into my calories and to be honest i dont want to eat it .. im happy with my greek yoghurt . I just dont like the fact that i almost feel like i should eat it to make her feel better ....

    If you don't want to eat it, then don't. Why do you feel like you should eat it? Did she say anything or imply that her feelings were going to be slayed if you don't eat it?
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,282 Member
    Ask her if you can take a piece home instead.
  • Hood25
    Hood25 Posts: 201 Member
    Tell her to wrap you a piece to go. That way you can eat it when you have extra calories or take a nibble and throw it out and tell her how wonderful it was!
  • Louise12
    Louise12 Posts: 389 Member
    Again i do not want to eat the cake... im not bothered about it ... i am an everything in moderation person but today i am not bothered about cake.

    I just think i shouldnt have to feel guilty for my decisions...
  • payupalice
    payupalice Posts: 126 Member
    well i have no time to work out today so i cant fit it into my calories and to be honest i dont want to eat it .. im happy with my greek yoghurt . I just dont like the fact that i almost feel like i should eat it to make her feel better ....

    If you're not eating it because you want to, there is no point. Your friend will understand, just thank her warmly for the offer. I'm always turning things down!
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
    In all honesty, there is no harm in going over your calories a little bit once in a while.
  • Louise12
    Louise12 Posts: 389 Member
    THANKS FOR THE ADVICE EVERYONE!
  • maggiemay365
    maggiemay365 Posts: 181 Member
    Tell her to wrap you a piece to go. That way you can eat it when you have extra calories or take a nibble and throw it out and tell her how wonderful it was!


    That's what I would do..feed the squirrels with it..not you!
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    If you don't want to eat the cake, then don't.
  • CherylGardner
    CherylGardner Posts: 75 Member
    So you want us to tell you not to feel guilty about not eating cake you don't want?

    Here: Don't feel guilty if you don't want to eat it.
  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
    Do you really like the cake? Do you want a piece of the cake? If you like it and want it, eat it. Account for it in your daily calories and move on. If you don't like it or don't want it, don't eat it.

    Restricting yourself and creating off limits foods often backfires on people, so if you want the cake -- I say enjoy it!
  • Gergal73
    Gergal73 Posts: 36 Member
    The most difficult thing I had to learn to do was to say NO without feeling bad. If you don't want to eat the cake don't let anybody guilt you into doing so. Saying NO is not bad. It's your health and you have every right to say NO to something you don't want to be eating or anything else you don't want to be doing. It's taken nearly 18 months and now the people I'm around the most have learned that when I say NO I mean it and have quit asking and pressuring me to eat things I know I don't want. Good luck! :smile:
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    so I am going to a friends house tonight.. i have got my meals planned out . She has just told me that she has baked a fruit cake and asked if i like fruit cake. I said i do like fruit cake but i am trying to be good.

    Now i feel like i am making her feel guilty about eating it .

    Should i feel bad becuase i declined the cake ?
    Eat some cake. Just don't eat the whole cake....It's not the end of the world.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    Again i do not want to eat the cake... im not bothered about it ... i am an everything in moderation person but today i am not bothered about cake.

    I just think i shouldnt have to feel guilty for my decisions...
    OK, so what's the problem again?
  • dnish53
    dnish53 Posts: 162 Member
    I don't mean to be harsh, but the truth is you wouldn't feel guilty unless it did bother you. That is a lesson I have had to learn.
  • squishycow7
    squishycow7 Posts: 820 Member
    I'd fit a small slice into your calories. Go for a walk afterward together or something if you're really feeling guilty- but life happens, you shouldn't feel guilty for living a little. A LITTLE. :) don't eat the whole cake haha

    BUT SERIOUSLY. Have some. I had a huge issue with avoiding my social life because I felt like I couldn't be healthy and have fun with my friends at the same time. Learn to balance.
  • Louise12
    Louise12 Posts: 389 Member
    So you want us to tell you not to feel guilty about not eating cake you don't want?

    Here: Don't feel guilty if you don't want to eat it.

    Thanks .. but i shouldnt be made to feel guilty too .. i dont really know why i posted.. i answered my own question really :)
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Is your friend's name Marie?
  • mamaclose
    mamaclose Posts: 179 Member
    well i have no time to work out today so i cant fit it into my calories and to be honest i dont want to eat it .. im happy with my greek yoghurt . I just dont like the fact that i almost feel like i should eat it to make her feel better ....
    You shouldn't eat something you don't want to just to make someone else feel better! This is about YOU, not your friend.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    So you want us to tell you not to feel guilty about not eating cake you don't want?

    Here: Don't feel guilty if you don't want to eat it.

    Thanks .. but i shouldnt be made to feel guilty too .. i dont really know why i posted.. i answered my own question really :)
    WHO is making you feel guilty??
  • terri0527
    terri0527 Posts: 678 Member
    LET US ALL EAT CAKE! :bigsmile: Problem solved :happy:

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