My friend wants me to eat cake

tami101

well i have no time to work out today so i cant fit it into my calories and to be honest i dont want to eat it .. im happy with my greek yoghurt . I just dont like the fact that i almost feel like i should eat it to make her feel better ....

Do NOT eat something to make someone else feel better, because it will make you feel worse. Stick to your plan and everything will be okay. It is your body and you take care of it - no one else takes care of your body. Enjoy the party & don't worry about saying no, it is okay.

BTW: Many friends try to get me to eat chocolate (they don't realize I haven't had it since August '09) and I just tell them no or sometimes I share my reason. You CAN do it!!!

I think the OP should not go to friends homes to eat until she has learned to not worry about feeling guilty about eating or not eating everything that is served. If it's really that big of a deal with the friend she will not be invited anymore and the problem will be solved.

BTW I would be a very unhappy person if I had not eaten chocolate since August '09!

aegisprncs

Her friend is making her feel guilty. People do it to me all the time.

No, her friend simply mentioned that she baked a fruitcake. She's feeling guilty about it.

Simple choices:

1. "Thank you for your thoughtfulness! You're a great friend, so I know you'll also understand that I cannot afford to accept this gesture of your friendship due to my dietary restrictions and our friendship will not suffer because of it, but please do enjoy a slice on my behalf!"

2. "Thank you for your thoughtfulness! Since I need to minimize impact to my daily caloric deficit, I will enjoy a very small piece, knowing that 140 calories will not have a significant impact in my long-term weight loss as long as it's an occasional deviation from my plan. It's life, we adapt."

3. "Thank you for your thoughtfulness! Since this is a special occasion, I will forego my daily caloric deficit and eat at maintenance today, knowing that I will set my diet back by exactly one day, and enjoy a good portion of this delicious treat."

4. "You bake something high-calorie every time I come over, you un-supportive so-and-so, and therefore I suspect you are trying to sabotage my attempts at self-improvement. This is not the behavior of a friend. You are the weakest link. Good-bye."

Okay, So I just couldn't NOT laugh at #4!

Laces_0ut

dont feel bad about saying no. a real friend would understand. and if i was going to blow a bunch of calories on cake it surely wouldn't be fruit cake!

sunnybunny5us

Thank you for getting it. People need to stop pushing food on people who are watching their calories! I hate when people act like my struggle to be healthy is silly and they laugh at me taking it so seriously.Peer pressure sucks! The homemade cake is a big one too. For me - it's the beer at the beach. People act like they are worried about my self esteem since I don't want a beer because it isn't worth the calories.WTF? I know they are really just trying to be nice but I want them to stop. I am trying to party at the beach and really what I want is not more beer but to look better and feel better running around in my bathing suit. I don't mind not having a beer, I mind having to turn it down 20 times and argue about WHY I don't want one. What gets me is people that try to push me to eat junk food and beer that I don't even want. If I don't want to drink beer or eat crap, it doesn't mean I have some self esteem issue. It means I want to be healthy.I don't think I'm ugly because I'm fat, but I still don't like being fat. I still feel good enough about my fat body to wear a string bikini swimming, but I do NOT feel like having a beer or some chips, because it isn't worth it to me calorie-wise (I'd rather have something else for the calories that are in a beer - like 2 pieces of fruit maybe) and I think that should be OK. A year from now I will be at a healthy weight and very fit. That is my goal. I don’t want to do things that take me further from my goal, especially if I don’t even really enjoy them. I’m not giving them a hard time, why are they doing it to me? I just had to rant for a while. It's a holiday - Argh!

spngebobmyhero

tell her you are allergic to carbs and if you eat them you will break out in fat.

but seriously, don't eat cake if you don't want to. If you are content with what you have and don't feel deprived, then don't eat it!! Sometimes a small treat can trigger a binge if that treat is one of your trigger foods.

Don't lie about an allegy! It's not believable nor is it respectful of your friend. If you prefer not to have the cake, be forthright. If, on balance, a small piece will make her happy, allow you to taste her homemade cake and let you not feel you're depriving yourself, then thoroughly enjoy that smal piece.

Did you read what I wrote as an "allergy"? Just wondering...

joifulblonde

Girl, DO NOT EAT THE CAKE to make someone else happy!!!

If you can manage just to taste a small bite to make yourself happy, go ahead and just have a small bite, Then tell your firend how good it is.

Don't make too big a deal about not wanting any more than that just say how full you are from whatever else that was served and then just smile.

stay positive and strong.

Love~ joifulblonde

mfpcopine

so I am going to a friends house tonight.. i have got my meals planned out . She has just told me that she has baked a fruit cake and asked if i like fruit cake. I said i do like fruit cake but i am trying to be good.

Now i feel like i am making her feel guilty about eating it .

Should i feel bad becuase i declined the cake ?

Is she Marie Antoinette? (just kidding). Marie Antoinette didn't actually say, "Let them eat cake." ("Qu'ils mangent du brioche.") It apparently was an earlier French Queen.