"you don't need to lose weight"

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Replies

  • danithegirl89
    danithegirl89 Posts: 203 Member
    My stepmom does this! She always tells me that I am going to look sick if I lose more weight. It drives me crazy. She even told me that once I got to 150 that I wasn't allowed to lose anymore weight! WTF?! But the way I see it, she is just saying that because she has gained weight. I figure as long as I'm in my healthy weight range and not Skeletor, then just brush off what they say even though it's SO ANNOYING!
  • capriciousmoon
    capriciousmoon Posts: 1,263 Member
    I got the "where do you need to lose weight?" comment just from telling someone I prefer diet soda!

    People that didn't know me when I was overweight tend to think of me as one of those girls that "thinks she's fat" and I don't even mention that I'm trying to lose weight. I'm also really careful to keep my body hate to myself to avoid any over-sensitive "then what do you think about me?" reactions.

    I don't care what people think. I'm doing this for myself!
  • Akious
    Akious Posts: 71
    I get this all the time. I used to be a "healthy" 282lbs. I am 170 now and want to drop a few final lbs and everyone is telling my I have an eating disorder, need to eat more, and throwing food at me in general. One of my good friends finally admitted he was acting that way because he was jealous of my progress. I offered help and he is starting out and getting results.

    In the end, do what YOU want to do and ignore those who want to hold you back.
  • Rosa1213
    Rosa1213 Posts: 456 Member
    I didn't read all the replies to this thread, so someone else might have already shared a similar experience.

    I get that all the time from my family and from a few friends. Some people are genuinely concerned, and don't want you to think that you NEED to lose weight, and then overdo it, and become unhealthy.

    However, there are a few people (I have one of these in my life) that just wish you were "fun" again like you used to be before you started counting calories. Back when you used to say yes to every junk food item that came your way, etc.. They see change, and they just want you to be you again, even if it means you're a little chunky. Plus, they don't really realize how much weight you may have put on, because they see you all the time, or because you're always wearing clothing around them, or just because they don't really look that hard.

    I don't know if that last part made any sense.

    The best encouragement I've gotten was from my boyfriend: You look great all the time. If you want to lose weight or whatever, that's your business. Just don't get all unhealthy to where you look like a Holocaust victim.
    (It may be brash, but I loved it)
  • selig0730
    selig0730 Posts: 509 Member
    ive lost 50+ ibs so far since last Nov, everyone thinks im sick or i dont eat, they tell me that i need to gain my weight back or stop losing weight. someone asked me the other day why are you losing weight and i told them cause i wanted to, i want to be healthy and live a long life and im not getting any younger so i rather do this now that 10-15 years later down the road.
  • half_moon
    half_moon Posts: 807 Member
    I think some people just don't know how to respond so someone when they express that they are working out. I mean, what do you say? "Good for you, you need it?" People will naturally try to lift them up, and sometimes wordvomit comes out, even if it's not true. Just thank them for being kind and move on, I say.

    Then again, I've never received a comment like that. >.>
  • morganmay92
    morganmay92 Posts: 78
    Ah yes, I get told this all the time mainly by guys online but I just tell them I'm doing it for myself and not you, if you can't appreciate my decision for wanting to lose some weight...its not going to kill me and if I get to skinny I can always gain a little weight. OR if its girls..they are probably jealous that you are losing weight and getting smaller.
  • Christine1110
    Christine1110 Posts: 1,786 Member
    Since I have lost 107 pounds. I have a lot of people telling me the same thing. I feel as if I could lose 3-5 more pounds. We will see if I do it. I'm just taking it slow now.

    Good luck
  • serentity78
    serentity78 Posts: 89 Member
    Some people carry weight well and sometimes don't look as big as they are....most people don't realize how much I weigh and when I say I need to lose 60pounds they are like NOOOO....but to look at me I feel bigger than what I am! Then if you family is big maybe you are smaller than them so to them that is healthy! I would just tell them you don't feel healthy and are trying to be healthy. Sometimes it can even be that they see your ambition when maybe they don't have that to try to lose.
  • sumeetn
    sumeetn Posts: 56
    stop telling people. its none of their business.

    bump
  • spongekitty
    spongekitty Posts: 24 Member
    I think a lot of people just say it because it's polite. If you're agreeing with someone that says they need to lose weight/are going to, that means you think that they are in fact in need of weight loss.

    Also I know from experience that having a smaller friend tell you that they need to lose weight/feel fat, feels awful. Even if they do have a target weight it's so hard to support them because if they think they're fat at 50 lbs lighter than you, what sort of obese monster do they take you for?

    I agree, keep it to this community where support is support is support.
  • phitless
    phitless Posts: 9
    One of my co-workers recently told me that they thought I would look weird if I lost too much weight. I laughed and told him I obviously didn't care what I looked like or I wouldn't have let myself gain that much weight in the first place, that I just wanted to feel better.
    Aside from that, nothing but compliments...unless they see me limping around, then they make fun of me for overdoing it.
  • Moniqua1
    Moniqua1 Posts: 195 Member
    Yes, I get it all the time from my best friend and mom. My best friend is the one who got me into going to the gym and my mom goes alot too. They say it's too much of a priority and get mad when they see me tracking calories. It's really hard not to have their support. I'm 5'3 117. I'm at a good weight but I could be better. What you are doing for yourself is HEALTHY and it is for.yourself. Don't forget that. I think some jealousy is factored in too, I can bet that's what going on with me too. Let them hate, they should be proud of you. I am! Keep it up!
  • 3shirts
    3shirts Posts: 294 Member
    Like you said, I don't think they are trying to be mean or demotivating, I think a lot of the time it comes from guilt. They probably see you as healthier and thinner than they are and the fact that you are exercising and dieting makes them feel bad that they aren't. Look it at like this; Maybe it will be the little kick they need to start improving their own health
  • celebrity328
    celebrity328 Posts: 377 Member
    Ive noticed the last 15 pounds or so I been getting comments like are you sick? or why? To be honest I just tell people I am being monitored by a doctor (which is true) and she told me my weight should be X and thats what im going by.

    My husbands family is a tad supportive (they are obese) but dont have a problem wishing the weight away. The fact is its my body and I feel I should get my weight under control before I get pregos, if anyone has a problem with wanting to be a healthy mom I guess they got more problems then I do :)
  • ProjectTae
    ProjectTae Posts: 434 Member
    I experience this a lot since at the beginning of my journey I was already at a healthy weight. I notice these comments generally come from bigger people so I take them with a grain of salt. I think that maybe because they are bigger and are content with being that way they feel that we should as well, or maybe they aren't really as okay with their weight as they are letting on, and feel that if they can convince us that we're fine they'll feel that their choice to remain overweight is fine. But to avoid this I generally avoid discussing my weight loss goals with many people, although with the coming holiday I know there will be questions as to why I'm not indulging but I usually just dance around these questions ;)
  • kayleesays
    kayleesays Posts: 564 Member
    It's actually infuriating. They think their opinion of your body is the be-all and end-all and that their approval means something to you. I'm sick of the "you don't need to lose any more weights", too. "You're fine the way you are," is one of the more insulting ones. I am trying to better myself to be happy and you're telling me to stay the way I am because YOU like it. It makes me so, so mad.
  • wgn4166
    wgn4166 Posts: 771 Member
    Yes, I am very tired of hearing these things. I hear it almost everyday. My reply is " I have a goal to reach and I am going to get there!"..
  • sarahmoo12
    sarahmoo12 Posts: 756 Member
    it dsnt matter what they think or say its all about how you feel about your body :)
  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
    i just tell them... ÿou haven't seen me without my clothes on :wink:
  • emma7437
    emma7437 Posts: 225 Member
    I just think to myself, "If you think I'm good enough now - wait until I've reached MY goal. Then look again."
    [/quote]

    This is great, put in to words what I think all the time!!
  • irishcanadianwoman
    irishcanadianwoman Posts: 147
    I hate this too! It's from all the people who feel threatened by your success with weight loss. Whether it be because they are jealous, don't like change, don't culturally understand, or your loss makes them realize their bad habits, whatever the reason. When it happens to me I just smile and say thank you, silently getting a little more excited that I'm getting closer to my goal.

    This says it all.
    When you change yourself it redefines where you fit in with your group (family, friends, work people). Many other people don't like that!
    I agree with the posts that suggest you talk about being "healthy" and "fitter" not about your "diet" and "weight loss".
    Good luck. Do what is right for you!
  • tarazena
    tarazena Posts: 93 Member
    Unfortunately, your family is trying to sabotage your good efforts for their own selfish reasons..they feel guilty themselves about their weight issues and you are making them reflect on themselves. I think it is a good idea to be conscious of this when they are making these comments. You look fabulous and if you lost weight it would be healthy.
  • Dad_of_3
    Dad_of_3 Posts: 517 Member
    The guy that wrote a C25K app for the iPhone (5K Challenge- the one I use) also has a blog, and one of his posts addresses this:

    http://www.my5kchallenge.com/post/2012/04/11/We-Dont-Know-Were-Fat.aspx
  • Kara_xxx
    Kara_xxx Posts: 635 Member
    I get it too. Nobody "apparently" wants to believe me that I gained 40lb when I was injured and tells me I don't need to lose that much...

    Well.... partly people are just trying to be kind, so when I went back to the gym and chatted to some old faces, when they say "where have you been" I explain and I am quite open about the fact that I gained 40lb... so they say "nooooo. never... where??" etc... but what are they supposed to say? LOL it's not acceptable in polite society to turn about and be honest and say "yeah I can see that, good luck to you!". :laugh:

    But there are other folk in the office who are much larger than me and who have noticed that I have made a lot of changes, no longer use the canteen but bring in my own food etc... and they can get quite funny when I say I want to lose 40lb... because effectively it unintentionally puts a mirror up to them which says to them "and you should be loosing at least 80!"
  • phoenixoncemore
    phoenixoncemore Posts: 196 Member
    I get this too, and it does get really irritating when you are working hard to better yourself and all you get from people is "Why bother?" I find it's the super-skinnies mostly, where they are so small themselves I double-take at them to check if they are being sarcastic.

    I think because I'm a small person anyway, short and with the smallest frame possible, that I didn't look massive before but I knew full well I needed to lose weight. I normally tell them that "I had too much fat on my tiny bones", or "I wasn't massively overweight, just under-tall and needed to redress the balance" Ultimately though, the same people keep on and on and annoying as it is I think you just have to tune them out and keep going just for your own sake.

    Also I LOVE the "If you think I'm good enough now - wait until I've reached MY goal. Then look again." comment! I may steal that when my patience is wearing thin with certain people!
  • supplemama
    supplemama Posts: 1,956 Member
    The cultural issue is the one that infuriates me the most. In my culture (Black American) it is acceptable to be overweight, even acceptable to be obese. 70% of black women are obese!! It angers me so because this causes us to have higher rates of diabetes, heart disease, hypertension, shortness of breath, sleep apnea, all sorts of bad conditions. It shortens our lives...black women are DYING because of obesity and all folks can think about is having a damn big *kitten*. Excuse my language. One woman said to me, Well aren't you worried about losing your behind? LOL! I told her Look I am more than 100 pounds overweight, believe me my bum isn't 100 pounds!!

    No one in my family has said anything negative about me losing weight, actually a great aunt who saw me last summer commented on how big I'd gotten. She said it nicely and matter-of-factly but it still hurt. I think she will be glad to see my progress this summer. I have had a few friends kind of say something...they are 'fat-positive' people who think it's all about accepting your body as it is. They truly don't seem to understand the health consequences of being obese or even overweight. I just told them, OK if you feel that way, then you'll be paying for my medicine when I develop diabetes then, right? Shut them up.
  • Kara_xxx
    Kara_xxx Posts: 635 Member
    The guy that wrote a C25K app for the iPhone (5K Challenge- the one I use) also has a blog, and one of his posts addresses this:

    http://www.my5kchallenge.com/post/2012/04/11/We-Dont-Know-Were-Fat.aspx

    Interesting article.

    The BBC reported on this last year, basically saying obesity is becoming so normalised, not only do people no longer recognise themselves as overweight or obese they also can't see it in their children.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-12226744
  • kimmianne89
    kimmianne89 Posts: 428 Member
    I get called an idiot for trying to lose weight and it is so awkward. I also get sighed at if i'm seen looking at calories or saying no to something bad. I don't mind the comments like 'ah you're tiny!' and things as I know it doesn't mean you are literally tiny but when someone hasn't seen you for a while and you have lost a bit then you do look tiny for you.

    When i've lost weight before people use to try to make me eat. This time I have said I am not depriving myself, I am just being healthier and if I lose weight it's a bonus and it seems to have helped with the comments. Also as I am eating a larger quantity of food than I did when I was bigger, but being better thought out meals, they all seem to want my advice :D
  • nikinyx6
    nikinyx6 Posts: 772 Member
    Yep, this stinks. A lot of my co-workers say things like, 'next thing you know she'll be that crazy health nut who only eats kale'...and 'you can't improve on a perfect body...'

    It's my body, it's far from perfect, and I'll do what's best for my health, thank you :)

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