Just been told I am too thin

avt85

I was at a business meeting today and was told I was too skinny. :noway:

i totally feel for you... I'm 173cms tall, 80kgs, BMI of 26.7 (so still in the overweight range) and my gf now keeps telling me that I am too thin, that my face has gotten uglier, that when she hugs me all she feels is bones and feels disgusting. Which is anything but a total downer.

I've never felt better in my life, have more energy when I wake up in the morning and enjoy food alot more now than I used to.
I still have a bit of belly I need to tone but sometimes negative feedback like this with no support just get so depressing, almost had the urge last night when she told me this stuff again to just binge eat myself to 3,000 calories that night. Get myself back to my fat old self just to end the argument altogether, never thought being healthy was so emotionally taxing.

Here's a few photos of me as of last week against my former 120kg self, up to you to decide whether she is right.

larkiedeek

Thanks for all the feedback. I'm clearly not alone.

I'm not expecting praise from anyone. I'm making the changes to improve my health. That's my reward.


I know the comment was not meant to be negative. It's just made me take another look at things. Is that how people now see me? I've been 20-25 lbs heavier for the last 20 years. There are people on here who inspire me and make changes into the hundreds of pounds. Others take up excersise and run/lift/cycle and achive fantastic results from nothing.

I still see this as a work in progress and the good people of MFP have got my back!

Now onwards to my goals. To be too FIT.:glasses:

yourenotmine

I have lost just over 20 lbs, and now my boss nit picks everything about my body. Most recent, I don't have any boobs... Way to ruin my ego.

Why in HELL would your boss comment, in any way, on your body? I'm not a fan of suing people, but this jerk sounds like he/she deserves it.

sbn1966

Hi people are just haters, I have been working out all of my life, I swim workout at the gym at least 2 hrs every day it just it that people have nothing nice to say. Keep doing what you are doing and dont pay people like that any mind.

jwilllose

I also think it was terribly inappropriate for him to say!

I've been on the receiving end from my family. I have weighed 30 lbs more than my current weight for about 20 years as well. Now that I've lost it, it throws them off and they think I'm too skinning. But in reality, I'm not. My BMI is 22 and I am FAR from skin and bones or bikini material- but they got used to seeing me one way and now it messes with THEIR idea of normal.

Oh well- they don't impact how I feel about myself and I know I'm doing right by my body. Keep it up

ElBo58

I don't want to go down the whole body size debate but why would someone say that? :frown:

Because they're a d!ck?

stupidloser

That's always better than being told you are too fat.:laugh:

Bobby_Clerici

People say what people say, and whatever.
There is only one vote that counts: YOURS! :drinker:

True to a point but I know so many people who go too far and become ill with their weight, the obsess over every oz of food they have, and maybe the person saying it has genuine concerns? We dont know the OP< maybe he sat through the meeting telling everyone how he is going to have water and a wafer for dinner and then do a 5 mile run because he ate a grape for breakfast?

In instances like that I wouldnt trust the person who is dieting to know what is healthy.

I am not saying that any of this applies to you OP but you have to ask yourself, are they saying it to be *****y and they a jealous of you, which is just as likely to be fair. Or are they your friend and they are worried you might be overdoing it and on the verge of having an illness?

Like I said I don't presume to know you and I mean no offense.

And maybe a cow will jump over the moon...
We don't deal in maybe.
The OP knows his situation.
Again, your health and fitness program is not up for vote. Let people say whatever.
And then just keep doing the next right thing; just KEEP PUNCHING!

larkiedeek

I was at a business meeting today and was told I was too skinny. :noway:

i totally feel for you... I'm 173cms tall, 80kgs, BMI of 26.7 (so still in the overweight range) and my gf now keeps telling me that I am too thin, that my face has gotten uglier, that when she hugs me all she feels is bones and feels disgusting. Which is anything but a total downer.

I've never felt better in my life, have more energy when I wake up in the morning and enjoy food alot more now than I used to.
I still have a bit of belly I need to tone but sometimes negative feedback like this with no support just get so depressing, almost had the urge last night when she told me this stuff again to just binge eat myself to 3,000 calories that night. Get myself back to my fat old self just to end the argument altogether, never thought being healthy was so emotionally taxing.

Here's a few photos of me as of last week against my former 120kg self, up to you to decide whether she is right.

I don't think anyone suggesting you binge on 3000 cals a night is right!

You and I are exactly the same height and I'm probably about at your goal weight right now but that's just a result of eating clean, giving up chocolate, alcohol and soda.

If you want to keep going then do it and stay healthy.

Bobby_Clerici

I'm willing to bet they're just saying that because they're jealous of their fat stomachs. You should feel awesome for doing something they wish they could do.

People only ever insult other people to boost their own self esteem.

^^^^^^^^^
BINGO!
You hit the nail on the head.

avt85

I was at a business meeting today and was told I was too skinny. :noway:

i totally feel for you... I'm 173cms tall, 80kgs, BMI of 26.7 (so still in the overweight range) and my gf now keeps telling me that I am too thin, that my ....

I don't think anyone suggesting you binge on 3000 cals a night is right!

You and I are exactly the same height and I'm probably about at your goal weight right now but that's just a result of eating clean, giving up chocolate, alcohol and soda.

If you want to keep going then do it and stay healthy.

what weight are you on now? (if you dont mind me asking)
i would like to see what my goal weight would look like (full body pics if you have some too).
to be in the healthy range of the bmi I need to be around 74kg).

Erisad

I would be sooo happy if someone said that to me. I'd proudly reply, "Yup, ain't it great?!"

Jodibear58

I have never heard that in my life!! Ha ha!!

Robin_Bin

I have lost just over 20 lbs, and now my boss nit picks everything about my body. Most recent, I don't have any boobs... Way to ruin my ego.

Unless you're an exotic dancer or something similar, this sounds extremely inappropriate.

kickers19

So she fired me today Stating I am a loss prevention issue. Long story short, I was wrongfully dismissed and will be going to the labour board. Btw I am in Ontario Canada.

Erisad

I have lost just over 20 lbs, and now my boss nit picks everything about my body. Most recent, I don't have any boobs... Way to ruin my ego.

Unless you're an exotic dancer or something similar, this sounds extremely inappropriate.

Yeah, you may wanna go to HR about that.

Robin_Bin

So she fired me today Stating I am a loss prevention issue. Long story short, I was wrongfully dismissed and will be going to the labour board. Btw I am in Ontario Canada.

Sorry to hear that. Good luck with your case! Hope this all ends well for you -- better job, good settlement, etc.

slkehl

Sometimes if you weighed a lot before, you can look very thin to people even if you aren't because they're used to seeing you bigger.

Robin_Bin

On the original topic...

There are those (mistaken) people who think "too thin" is a good thing or a complement.
Some people are concerned if you lost it quickly or look like you may be ill.
Others get tired of hearing about someone else's diet or weight loss.
And still others are just jealous or would rather everyone else be overweight and leave them being "the thin one".

If it happens again, say "thank you" as if it were meant as a complement.

The people who meant it as a complement will be happy. (Not your job to enlighten them about grammar.)
The people who were concerned should understand that it was intentional and you're not sick.
It doesn't sound like the "too much talk about weight loss, diet or exercise" applies.
The people who meant it in a less kind way will probably be confused, but it should shut them up.

Don't let a few people, especially those who really have no business judging your weight, disturb you. It's great that you're doing so well!

ladykate7

I get that "You look too skinny" at family holiday events. And the people saying watch me like a hawk on what I eat at the event. A couple years ago I started just telling them my body fat%.

"Hey, I'm 24% body fat and 20-25 is average. So I'm perfectly fine, and actually on the high end of average."

That shuts them up right quick. Starting to look good is often threatening to other people, you're changing and they aren't and no one wants to be left in the dust. Heh, my family/extended family know not to talk to me like that now. Some actually start real conversations about health with me, because obviously I'm doing something right.

But its tougher in a work situation. Being snarky isn't probably the best tactic. Perhaps say something about you are working with your doctor or a personal trainer, "Thank you for your concern, but I am working with sports professionals on my health goals."

If they're going to be rude and nonconstructive in their criticism instead of approaching with a genuine conversation then its completely justified to be firm with your response. No one I've said that response to has like hearing it, but that's because if they are bigger than me and I'm at the high end of average then what does that make them? Its like a slap in the face. And personally I think they need the social communication slap for their approach the first place.

Side note:
If the person is concerned you have an eating disorder then there is different way to go about broaching the subject. Saying someone looks too skinny to someone who has an ED is likely to motivate the ED'er to try harder to hide it.

deniseearheart

I tell my guy all the time he is toooooo skinny !!! Fuc*** weights about 60 pounds less than me

cmeade20

I have lost just over 20 lbs, and now my boss nit picks everything about my body. Most recent, I don't have any boobs... Way to ruin my ego.

This is considered harrassment regardless of your bosses gender and totally innappropriate. I would file a complaint immediately

cmeade20

So she fired me today Stating I am a loss prevention issue. Long story short, I was wrongfully dismissed and will be going to the labour board. Btw I am in Ontario Canada.

Now I see this.....get good lawyer!

MrsFolk

I have lost just over 20 lbs, and now my boss nit picks everything about my body. Most recent, I don't have any boobs... Way to ruin my ego.

What an ahole thing to say!

Avandel

To the OP sounds like the green eyed monsters to me. I would just ask them if they would like the web addy for MFP! :devil:

Kickers - Holy Crap! it wasn't PREng was it??? Sounds like her style! :explode:

I was told by a very thin friend I didn't need to lose any more wgt. I said, "Ummm! sure I do, I'm still 15-20 lbs overwgt, how much do you weigh?" Her answer 120, to which I said, "must be nice I'm 162 lbs". Sometimes we carry our wgt better than others & appear thinner than we really are. :huh:

Sharon_C

About 10 years ago I lost 70lbs. I became obsessed with exercising and worried about every bite of food that went into my mouth. I was determined to get down into the 120s. I'm 5'8". That is not a healthy weight to be at FOR ME. But I didn't see that. At first people kept telling me I looked great. They admired me. I loved it.

Then things changed. People started telling me I was too thin. They would pull my husband aside and ask if I was sick.

I, of course, didn't see any of this because when I looked in the mirror I saw the FAT me.

After awhile I couldn't keep up with the extreme exercise. I started back to work, the kids got busy with school and sports and the pounds started creeping back. Not all of them but enough.

Looking back at pictures, I see people were right. I WAS too thin but I couldn't see that then.

I'm not saying this is you at all. I don't know you, haven't seen pictures of you. What I'm saying is that those people were right and I couldn't see it because I was too obsessed with an unrealistic goal.

So not all people say that because they're jealous. Some people really are concerned.

JuneBPrice

I would LOVE to be told this! But that's just me, lol But alas, I have a BMI of 22.7. If anything, people tell me I need to cut down on McDonalds.

spikefoot

Just say and your too fat so it looks like we both have a problem then.

Vanilladays

People say what people say, and whatever.
There is only one vote that counts: YOURS! :drinker:

That's it in a nutshell :happy:

MaraDiaz

I have lost just over 20 lbs, and now my boss nit picks everything about my body. Most recent, I don't have any boobs... Way to ruin my ego.

If this is true... why, exactly, are you not suing that company out of existence??

I don't have proof that she is saying anything, so nothing gets done about it...
She's also called me "white trash" If I lost too much weight, I'd look stupid and too skinny... The list goes on.

Depending on where you live, it might be legal to tape record your conversation. Be prepared for a long drawn out legal battle and to lose your job in the meantime, of course.