Why cant I just do this (VENT)

DarleneKwood

QUOTE:

Ok so I have dieted myself all the way up to 240lbs. Ughh I try almost everyday to stick to any diet plan and I fail every single day. Ive tried it all. I fail if its too restricting and I fail if nots outlined and planned for me like counting calories because I just eat junk food and sugar and go over my calories. I have two daughters who I DO NOT want to inherit my weight problem and I feel so gross and fat that it affects my marriage in a very negative way. I want to change my life but I just dont know what its gonna take for me to do so..... I cant believe im putting all this out there


It doesn't sound like you're failing to me. Every time you try a diet you're taking a step, reorganizing your thoughts and tactics, doing something differently and ultimately you're eliminating what doesn't work. You're only getting closer to doing it. Diets are a lot more complex than just weight control. It affects everything about you. Every day is preparing you for the final step, which is losing the extra weight. That will be the last and easiest part of it when the rest of you is ready.

That's absolutely brilliant!

anacsitham5

Until you "really" want it, you will sabotage yourself and fail. For me it all clicked one day. I was sick of it taking an hour to find something to wear that would hide my excess weight. I was sick of the tight clothes. I was sick of wearing a hoodie in 90 degree weather. As I was getting dressed on 01/18/11, I just said "this is it" and it was. I dropped 50 lbs in 7 months and have kept it off.

I didn't do it all at once. I didn't throw exercise into the plan until 3-4 months into my new eating lifestyle. I logged before I ate. If the food put me over, I wouldn't eat it. You have to want it. If I would have tried to start a whole new exercise routing and eating plan, I would have failed because it would have been too much for me. That's just me.

YOU can do it. YOU have it within you. Remember you can't finish the race until you actually start.

As others have said, don't buy junk that will cause you to cheat and fail. If others in your house want it, tell them to go buy it and keep it where you can't find it. Stay with the plan! YOU CAN DO IT!!!

skc2

Time to give yourself some love! Being disgusted with yourself doesn't help, especially if you eat for comfort. I agree with some earlier posters--start with exercise. Log everything, and congratulate yourself for logging everything.

I agree you have to really want it, but that's hard to do, sometimes. Sometimes you just need a goal (I'm going to log everything I eat for a week, and I will walk for 15 minutes around the block and log that, too) and you have to remind yourself over and over and over again of that goal. Write down all the reasons you want to lose weight--focus on the positive (I want to be healthy) and not the negative (I am fat or I am ugly). Read your reasons to yourself every day, and whenever you feel tempted to NOT take your walk or write your foods down.

After you're comfortable doing those things (logging and walking), look at your current calories consumed and try to reduce them by 1750 calories a week. That works out to be a half pound a week. At the same time, increase your exercise by 10 or 15 minutes a day. After you're comfortable with that, decrease your calories by another 1750 a week, and you'll be losing a pound a week.

You can do this. I promise you. You do already want it! You just need a place to start and a plan to keep going.

Hang in there!

ironanimal

Instead of some lame patronizing comment (there will be many to come), all I can really say is this:

You have to want it.

Yes, everyone WANTS to have a model or a gymnast's body. Or a bodybuilder's body or whatever. But 99% of people just don't have the dedication and willpower to put in the hard work.

Until you're really ready it's going be next to impossible. It's like quitting smoking or drugs. You have to really want it or you're just going to keep relapsing.

Once it clicks, there's no going back.

My only real suggestion is to try baby steps. Don't try to uproot your whole way of eating or exercising. Do one thing. Cut out sugary drinks and/or soda. Just try that. In a month, try walking for 15 minutes a day, every day. Everyone's got 15 minutes right? Keep progressing and slowly substitute crappy snacks for better snacks, crappy meals for better meals, and sitting on the couch for meaningful exercise. I'm 14-15 months in and I'm still making improvements to my diet and exercise every week. Baby steps. No one just changes their entire way of life in a day.

I wouldn't have been as nice, but this is the answer you need.

marie_cressman

I agree with most comments made. I tell myself repeatedly "this is for me. i do this for nobody else" yes i love seeing my children learning healthy choices and such, but that's just a benefit of it all. baby steps was great advice. i dropped soda a long time ago. now i don't crave it anymore. no diet soda or anything. i struggle at times. i have cake. ****, i plan on going to logan's to dinner this friday night with my husband and i'm going to eat those damn rolls! yes ma'am i am! but you know what? that's ok because that one single day isn't going to ruin everything. that one day is one day.

shannonmaria

You are so not alone on this one!!! I struggle with this every single day! Feel free to add me as a friend if you ever need to vent or chat

mpf1

thanks for sharing how you feel-- its so much harder when you don't feel good about yourself. I respect you for having the courage to vent here, and I think a lot of the posters have made very helpful comments that I will come back and read again! you are in good company with how you are feeling.

Nan_

Do you have a "trigger" food? I have discovered that m&m's are my trigger food, which should be no surprise to me. Apparently I can't limit myself to just a few like I used to be able to do. So, for right now, I am not keeping any in the house because I will mindlessly just eat a "few" here and there until I've eaten 200 calories of them or so.

Also, once I eat m&m's I seem to crave more sugar. However, I can eat a few "Dots" candy during the day and they don't seem to make me crave more sugar at all.

The other thing I was doing was telling myself "I'll start tomorrow." Once I had "ruined" (according to me) my eating plan for the day by indulging in something, I would just eat whatever I wanted and tell myself I'd start tomorrow. Only tomorrow never came because I would "ruin" that day's eating too.

I realized that one indulgence didn't have to ruin the entire day for me, so if I DO indulge in something (today I had an ice cream cone) then I just accept it, don't beat myself up over it, and just try to continue to make better choices the rest of the day. Whereas in the past, that ice cream would have given me a free license to just eat whatever I wanted because I was going to start a diet "tomorrow" and so I'd better eat whatever I wanted that day.

You can do this and you WILL do it and your love for your children will be your motivation. Put pictures of them on your fridge, on your snack cupboard, and even on your wallet (for when you eat out). That will be a visual reminder to you to make the better choices that you want to make.

You sound like an awesome, loving mom and stop beating yourself up about what's happened before and just take a small step today towards your future. What ONE thing can you do today to make a better choice? And then do the same tomorrow, and the tomorrow after that. Pretty soon, your habits will change and YOU will change! Hang in there, you can do it.

vhagan777

I think it's awesome that you are able to talk about how you are feeling and using my fitness pal to try to help you get to where you want to be with your weight. I too struggle with my weight and have a really hard time losing weight. I have been on and off of weight watchers and in the last year I lost almost 20 pounds but then gained it all back I don't want to spend money and waste money when I am not really doing the program. I have been trying to stay focused on when I am actually hungry and feeling like I need something to eat. I too like sweets and have to be careful because they are high in calories. I think as a person struggling with weight we have to communicate with each other and suggest different things to help others that have worked for you. I am trying this my fitnesspal and hoping to make some progress on my own for ME. I hope I can learn how to budget my calories for the day and make better choices. I wish you luck and I am here for support!
Thanks!
Vanessa

caslyn3

It is always nice to know that someone else feels EXACTLY how you do. I have done every single "diet" known to man.. and all have failed. The advice on here is all great. You do have to WANT it. And no one in this world can make you do it but YOU. I have a daughter who is in gymnastics and is so paranoid about gaining weight, she is 9. It scares me that she will have some kind of eating disorder so that she doesn't end up like Mommy. So, I decided one day that I would start this and do it right.. I struggle every single day.. I find alternatives to sweets.. eat healthier snacks.. count every single calorie.. I get mad when I don't see the scale go down a digit.. but I just have to reassure myself that it WILL go down..I can't lose 100 lbs overnight.. it took 26 years to get this heavy, it will take me a while to lose it. But I look at myself every day and I don't like what I see.. I read all of these success stories and I want to be * going to be * one of them one day.. with a before and after pic that looks AMAZING. Don't look at this as a DIET, think of it as a new lifestyle.. a better, healthier life style. I want to be an old grandma watching my great grandbabies one day.. Not dead before I am 40 with a heart attack.. I reward myself when I meet my mini goals.. When my friends or family are eating horrible things that I once enjoyed.. I just keep telling myself how bad it is for me and that I can't have it.. It works for me.. especially counting calories.. I look up what those foods would cost my calorie goal for that day and I ask myself if it is worth it ? Not really.. You can do it!

smalleyez06

You have your motivation hun...you have your kids. I can easily say this but it is just as hard for it to click with me as well. Baby steps is absolutely right and not making excuses. Let me tell you I am queen of excuses! My most recent one was I needed new music for my Ipod. Yeah, that lasted me a day. I hopefully have my head in it this time and will take control of my life. I obviously am counting calories since I am using this but I am just trying to eat healthier and make sure I make time for the gym and myself. It is easy to let life get in the way and right now I should be happy I have life to get in the way cause if I do not change my eating habits and lifestyle I may not have it.

pamina1

Set a me goal. I found I do so much for everyone else, work, husband etc. I set my own goal, I did a cleanse, added this myfitnesspal to my food plan. I do run but set a goal to do a marathon. Well I have lost 12 pounds in 3 weeks. I eat fruit, vegetables, chicken and fish. I do not eat out as this elimates your control.

Now with my exercise and food control I actually am not eating the calories I should. I feel health, challenged and determined to finish my marathon and get totally healthy by October. It is a mind set and every day is a goal to accomplish just a little, a longer run, a faster run, a good time, under food goal and I celebrate every win and fight any time I eat a little more than I should. One day over, is easily fixed if you tackle it the next day and don't feel guilty and more importantly don't ignore.

bpotts44

If you are craving sugar I would recommend getting all sugary stuff out of your house. It is addicting and sickening. Throw it away and you will be doing yourself and your kids a favor. Then log your food religiously. Other than that the baby steps is the way to go. I'll list some baby steps we made when it comes to diet which happened over the course of 4 years:

No HFCS in anything
No food colorings
No nitrites or nitrates

3ofmine

I wasn't motivated til my husband left me... for other reasons (some mutual)... I wish I had been motivated for my health (and many other things) long before. But it is what is.

I read somewhere, "Do something today your future self will thank you for". Think about yourself in 6 months, a year. Where do you want be, how do you want to feel and what do you want to accomplish. And if you don't pursue your goals, imagine that in a year. That sort of visualization does help me to get going since time just keeps passing by.

^^This I LOVE!! Thank you for sharing this..I love what you are saying about thinking of myself a year from now. A year from now I can be maybe half of my weight now and definitely about to move and get around playing with my kids OR I can still be sitting on this couch, eating crap, drinking soda and feeling crappy and tired all the time. HMM...which do I want to be?? Thank you SO SO SO MUCH for sharing that!!

Angel

conniep0523

You sound just like me!!!! I have about 50 pounds to lose. I lost almost 20 on weight watchers a little over a year ago. I was seeing results every week! I have to idea what happened to me but I just stopped. I gained all the weight back and now I am just so mad at myself that I sabotage myself. I track and I track. I do great all day but when the day is almost over I eat myself to sleep!!! I too have no idea why I do this or how to stop but hopefully we figure out the answers! If I do, I will let you know... :-)

Slinkysmilez

In regards to the giving up, I've done it too. Heck I have done it the past few days - just quit b/c I have no support at home. However, try to think of what works for YOU not what works for everyone else. I had to put a sign up in my bathroom saying, "Don't quit! Do it for yourself not anyone else!"

As far as the starting slow I agree. If you like shopping, just go to a store and wander for 15 minutes. Yes, it would just be the slow walking (i.e. 2.0 mph) but it's a start and you will like it. Or call someone while you walk so it can be fun for you and a good use of time. Ask your kids to go walking with you (if they are old enough) or put them in a stroller or whatever.

You can do this! I'm the same weight as you so if you want to add me, we can message each other and motivate one another.

arock1000

Ok so I have dieted myself all the way up to 240lbs. Ughh I try almost everyday to stick to any diet plan and I fail every single day. Ive tried it all. I fail if its too restricting and I fail if nots outlined and planned for me like counting calories because I just eat junk food and sugar and go over my calories. I have two daughters who I DO NOT want to inherit my weight problem and I feel so gross and fat that it affects my marriage in a very negative way. I want to change my life but I just dont know what its gonna take for me to do so..... I cant believe im putting all this out there

I've done every DIET in the book! Weight watchers, jenny craig, cabbage soup, fruit diet, south beach, atkins, belly fat cure, cleanses, etc. Yes, some of them worked but once I went off of the DIET, I gained weight. They were all too complicated or restrictive for me. I felt deprived...on a DIET.

You should not be on a DIET - you should be eating how you plan to eat for the rest of your life (possibly adding more calories as you reach your goal to maintain). Having said that, eat what you want...in small portions. I'll friend you, check out my food diary. I eat some healthy stuff and I eat some marginal stuff that makes me happy and I workout 3 times a week. If I ate chicken and broccoli every day I would freak out and quit. If I had to work out 6 times a week I would freak out and quit.

I've lost 20lbs so far and I still drink alcohol and eat high calorie/fat food once in awhile. You have to be happy with what you're doing every day and look forward to how much MORE happy you will be when you get to your goal. It's been a slow road but I look back at the time spent losing 20lbs and think, that didn't feel like torture, I was happy and I feel and look a little better than I did when I started.

Figure out what works for you and makes you happy and go with it.

imchicbad

I think my biggest problem with staying motivated is that I find myself saying "Oh, look! Cheesecake! I can always start tomorrow" and tomorrow, of course, never comes. I lack the sense of urgency which goes along with what some people have already said.

I want to want it! I want to want to be urgent!

.

this is exacly what im talking about-tomorrow, and you made an excelent point. i was severly over weight for my height, and sick and tired and ill. the thing that knocked me for a loop, was going to the doctor and he asked me if i wanted to live OR was i ready for diabetis an heart decease. i have 3 kids, they need me, and so does my family. the food was KILLING me- no matter how you do it- do something before its too late. DO YOU WANT TO LIVE...and be healthy.

miller0438

Thanks so much for everyone taking the time to reply back to my post, the support here is just amazing. I now have a new hope and motivation to lose this weight and stick with it this time. And Im guessing baby steps is the way to go. So my first one is no soda only water which I Love water anyway so it shouldnt be to hard.

gertudejekyl

Concentrate on Burning Calories -Exercise, so you don't have to deprive yourself of all the foods you like !:flowerforyou: