Almost in tears and I can't quite explain why

dreamsofescaping

I am on the verge of tears and can not completely tell you why...maybe complete disappointment in myself or I am total jealous jerk?!?

Let me explain what happened.

I e-mailed my grandmother yesterday catching her up on a few things and she responded and wanted to know about how the weight loss was going. She told me my Aunt has also been dieting ( she was very over weight) and has lost 80 pounds.

I was so happy for my Aunt because I can personally relate and I know how bad she wanted to be healthy.

I responded to my grandmother about how slow the last few months of my weight loss has been but I am still losing and thankfully haven't gained. I asked what my aunt was doing to lose her weight. I told her about this website and few others that I use for recipes.

I just read her responding e-mail and for some reason which I can't explain and find totally selfish--I am on the verge of tears. She explained my Aunt is doing low carb, low cal and has been walking3-4 miles a day. She said she buying clothes at a thrift store because she is changing sizes so much and she is currently in a size 12.

That is when a complete feeling of failure came over me and I could have let tears fall. I think I am jealous. I have been doing this journey longer and even though I know I didn't have as much weight as my Aunt to lose but I still haven't made as much progress as she has. I am not wearing a 12. I went from a size 16 to a 13 and that is where I have been for the past 4 months... I should be happy for my Aunt and I shouldn't feel this way but somewhere in my screwed up head I am mad at myself for not being a 12 too.

I'll get over it.

I am sorry I needed to vent and where else better but here.

Sometimes I look at peoples tickers and feel jelously inspired by their numbers. I may not be at their numbers yet but I will get there someday. You will too :-)

Those with more weight to lose have an easier time losing quicker than those who do not from my understanding.

Your doing FANTASTIC!!!! Don't be discouraged your doing awesome!!!

perfectbodyhealth

Whatever you are doing, keep doing it. You've lost 52 pounds. That is something to be very proud of in itself. Your body is different than every one else out there. What works for some people doesn't always work for others. You must find what works for you, either proper nutrition, fitness, or a balance of both, and stick with it, tweaking it here and there to push the weight down even further. Great job and keep plugging. You can do it. Just be patient.


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fenrirGrey

I know it is really hard and frustrating to see others get better results.

But honestly, after reading your post, I could tell that you are putting in everything you got. You should be proud about that. I know this is easier said than done. But don't let the scales tell you what you already know. You cried because you know you are doing everything in your power.

We are all just human, no matter how sacrilegious we pretend to be, we (atleast I) get jealous. Doesn't make you a bad person. If you are jealous and you realize it, then you are better than most people out there.

Be proud of yourself, I know I am proud of you

Crystal0827

I seriously am trying to personally Thank everyone but I can't keep up with the overwhelming and motivating responses. Thank you everyone--I mean it. Every word you have typed means something to me. That is why I love MFP--when we have moments--everyone is there to help you or be there for you no matter what. Not to mention I can't keep up with the friend requests...whoa...oh and I feel like an *kitten* for comparing a 13 to a 12---I didn't know they were in 2 different sections---wow--ya learn something new every day---and it is even more of a reason for me to shut up and get to WORK! thank you thank you thank you!!

karalynnbsu

I also had a disappointing day. I had a goal for myself, and I failed it. But I have to remember, (and maybe for you, too?) that I am not only dieting, being more active with some exercise, but I am lifting small weights. Are you doing anything like this? If so, you could be gaining MUSCLE (which adds some weight)!

Everyone loses and gains differently. We all have different schedules. You may not have time to walk 3-4 miles/day. Be proud of the progress you've made - 52 lbs lost - way to go! Also, keep in mind, heavier people tend to lose much faster than smaller people, and guys tend to lose more than girls. Don't gauge your progress on what others are doing. Gauge it on how YOU feel. A size 13?! That is GREAT! I have been around this size (depending on brand) for over 2 1/2 years, maybe longer. Once you ACCEPT a size and learn to dress your body to flatter your assets, you start to feel better.

It's normal for everyone to reach a plateau. I have been there for a few years, which is why I've tried something different - small meals/snacks all day as opposed to one large, unhealthy dinner late in the evening. Maybe try a different type of exercise, or change up your diet? The key is to jump start your metabolism into action!

The scale is not the sole measure of your worth or progress. Work on loving yourself.

You should be proud of what you've accomplished so far. And know that this is normal, you are not alone, and you can DO it!

tberend

Wow. I know how you're feeling and where you're coming from. Sometimes it is difficult to get ourselves in the right mindset, especially when things feel like they are not going as you'd hoped. But girl, I have to tell you, you inspire me! 52 pounds?! That's one hell of an accomplishment and you should hold your head high with pride. Good for you! Everyone loses and gains weight at a different pace. Remember that and remember how awesome you are for having the determination and commitment to make a healthy change, knowing that it will take time. *hugs*

Springer007

Lots of encouragement here and thats great!
I will be the honest jerk here and try to help rather then pat you on the back....

First, I commend you on your honesty in the food journal. HOWEVER, that honesty points out a terrible diet and a constant pattern of over eating. Its a miracle you are not gaining. If Anyone is jealous, its me. I wish I could eat those calories and just maintain my weight.
Most of your days are in the red, some by way over 1000 calories.
I can understand frustration if you are doing everything right and not losing. But you are eating McDonalds Nuggets and sandwhiches (sometimes both in the same setting), you are eating as many calories in a single meal as most of us allow ourselves in a day (on a few days), and you are wondering why your Aunt is losing weight and you are not?
You seriously need to take a quick look at your food journal and then settle back in and get serious. One day here and there making your calorie goal is not making up for going over by 500 to 1200 calories on most days.

Crystal0827

^^^^^^ This-- Thanks!!!!!

momof4boys68

Comparison is the thief of Joy. - Theodore Rosevelt

mochaphobic

As for being a little jealous of your Aunt well that is nothing to beat yourself up over. It is a perfectly natural reaction to feel that way if you are struggling. That simply makes you human.

I would say however that it indicates to me that your goals need redefining. Anyone can lose weight quickly. The big question is...can they keep it off in the long term.

One of the major goals of your diet should be creating the building blocks of eating habits which can last you a life time. Do that and your weight loss may take a little longer but in five years time you will still be slim whilst other people will have regained and look upon your beauty with envious eyes....

What he said. You are working hard, you're meeting your goals and it's really hard and self-defeating to look at someone else who appears to have it easier than you do and feel good about this. Try keeping it all in perspective. Acknowledge that you are envious or even jealous and then use that emotion to renew your efforts to keep going. I've been trying to lose weight for months and had lost 20 pounds but over the winter/early spring I gained 7 of it back. You can see my ticker now says 15. It's been hard for me to lose that 15 and maintain it because my metabolism is slower and I battle depression. I have to work harder than I do. I get it. I accept that and I know that my life is a work in progress. Perhaps your aunt will be able to maintain her loss, perhaps not. My thought is that either way, if you are proud of your own progress (and you are doing super well!), once you get past your tears of frustration, you can give her kudos for her loss as well.
Not sure I'm explaining this well but my mom lost over 60 pounds last year and she looks and feels great. I was jealous for a long time but for years I let the fact that she was heavy comfort me and give me excuses since she'd been heavy almost my entire life. Now I know that she could do it despite all her health issues so I have to keep working at it since I don't want to be a failure to her or to myself. If she can do it, I can too.
Hugs and keep up the hard work ~ you will get there! I know it!

bookwormwendy

You are doing great! Keep up the good work. No, it isn't a race, slow and steady; you'll get there. On a side note, be sure you adjust your goals about every 20 lbs. It will cut your calories but that is how you keep going.