When to get Married...

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  • TaintedVampyre
    TaintedVampyre Posts: 1,428 Member
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    Not my family, but my bf's side just recently asked me when we were planning on getting married. I knew this was something his father would never ask when his son was around lol
  • RhonndaJ
    RhonndaJ Posts: 1,615 Member
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    It kind of bugs me that people make marriage a goal. I think it's part of why so many marriages fail. There's such a rush to get married that people don't take the time to enjoy being single and to find someone who will grow with you instead of away from you. While I'm not a religious person, I do believe that you should go into marriage thinking that it's for life.

    That said, I never actually wanted to get married, and my family certainly never pressed for me to do so. Turn out I met a great guy and ended up marrying him when I was 35. Fourteen years later, no regrets.

    So as to when to get married... when you're sure. If there is a moments doubt, don't.
  • scunningham2012
    scunningham2012 Posts: 159 Member
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    It doesn't start in my fmaily until we've dated someone for over 2 years. Dated my fiance for 2 and a half but before he asked me to marry him (last June) we were asked all the time when we were getting married. It was annoying, really.
  • kmuree
    kmuree Posts: 283 Member
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    I think when you're financially stable and emotionally ready, that is when you should get married.

    That said, I'm 22 years old and I'd sure as hell like to be engaged soon. :huh:
    I've been with my guy for six and a half years and I want a two to three year engagement. :tongue: :love:

    His family and my family constantly ask.
  • jgunn81
    jgunn81 Posts: 243 Member
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    N e v e r.

    i second this motion :bigsmile:
  • amyoliver85
    amyoliver85 Posts: 353 Member
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    BabyLeila23...you must live in Utah. ;-)

    Getting married is something you have to be ready to do. You may never be ready. Even if you find the right man.

    So never let anyone tell you that "it's time" to do anything. Do it because it's what you want and because it's what feels right.

    The other thing is to remind yourself that your parents and grandparents come from a different generation. Good lord, my grandmother got married at 16. Because that was NORMAL. My mother got married at barely 19.

    The point is...remember that marriage changes everything. You get married and the next words out of their mouths will be, "When are you going to have a baby?"

    Marriage changes what you can do with your life. It makes you responsible for another person. Having a baby does the same thing. Get married when you're ready to make yourself responsible for other people.

    And just to make a long post longer...let me put it this way...

    I have an amazing opportunity before me right now for the career I always wanted but didn't have a chance to get until now. It's dangling in front of me and I'm just a few short steps away. It's on the other side of the country. My husband is Active Duty Air Force and can't leave his duty station. So my choices are to leave my husband behind for a year until his commitment to his station is up, or to let the opportunity go. If I wasn't married, do you think I would even think twice? Not a chance. I would already be gone. Whatever we decide as a couple will be what's right for us, but just think about that.

    You are young. You have time. You can find love and find what you want in a husband somewhere down the line. If you find it tomorrow and it changes your plans for your life, GREAT! If you don't find it for five more years or ten more years, then GREAT!

    Do what's right for you and the rest will work itself out.
  • strunkm4
    strunkm4 Posts: 266
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    I was never rushed. I lived with my hubby for 2 1/2 years before we even SPOKE of marriage. We were content with where we were and figured when it was time for both of us, we'd just know. Get married when you are sure. Don't do it because you are being rushed into it, or because you think you are running out of time, or whatever. Take your time and get to know your partner. I think that you don't really KNOW someone unless you are with them for awhile...and I'm not talking like 5-6 months. I was learning new things about my hubby 2 years into our relationship, and now we've never been better or stronger.
  • amyoliver85
    amyoliver85 Posts: 353 Member
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    It kind of bugs me that people make marriage a goal. I think it's part of why so many marriages fail. There's such a rush to get married that people don't take the time to enjoy being single and to find someone who will grow with you instead of away from you. While I'm not a religious person, I do believe that you should go into marriage thinking that it's for life.

    That said, I never actually wanted to get married, and my family certainly never pressed for me to do so. Turn out I met a great guy and ended up marrying him when I was 35. Fourteen years later, no regrets.

    So as to when to get married... when you're sure. If there is a moments doubt, don't.

    Familiar, I think that's a lovely story. You found love when it found you. Kind of perfect, really.
  • AnnMarie518
    AnnMarie518 Posts: 93
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    Nah, I did what I want. We waited til we were ready mentally and financially.

    Course now every time we see any family they ask "when you getting knocked up?"

    We get this ALL the time!!!! I'm about to turn 30. I still have a couple of good years left, right??

    Pleanty of time! I didnt have my first till i was 35, and while the downside is I dont have as much energy as I may have had in my 20's, the up side is that I was much more financially/emotionally able to handle it.
  • _Wits_
    _Wits_ Posts: 1,286 Member
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    Nah, I did what I want. We waited til we were ready mentally and financially.

    Course now every time we see any family they ask "when you getting knocked up?"

    We get this ALL the time!!!! I'm about to turn 30. I still have a couple of good years left, right??

    Ha yep!!
  • jillybeanruns
    jillybeanruns Posts: 1,420 Member
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    Uhhh never?!
  • LindaCWy
    LindaCWy Posts: 463 Member
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    Does anyone else have their ENTIRE family bugging them to settle down? Just curious lol.

    BTW I'm only 23 :)

    Start dating chicks, they may stop asking.
  • ktbug1186
    ktbug1186 Posts: 266
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    oh girl i so feel your pain..my sister married at 19. But every guy that I was in a long term relationship with just didn't feel right, so i refused to give into pressure, because i'm going to be the one living with my consequences! I found the right guy and I'm 25 years old. I'll be a month shy of 26 when i'm married. So don't let anyone pressure you into it girlie!
  • BabyLeila23
    BabyLeila23 Posts: 410
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    Old people at weddings always poke me and say "You're next"
    So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals. :-)

    Kidding! Buttt I always get the "when will Michael propose, I'm surprised he hasn't yet... maybe your birthday, maybe on vacation, maybe on next Tuesday.... and my answer is.... he will do it when he wants... we are in no rush and we aren't like everybody else rushing to the altar (all my close friends are married - and some are regretting it!)

    I literally laughted out loud at work :)
  • 1RBelle512
    1RBelle512 Posts: 53 Member
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    All the women in my family have gotten married by 23. I just turned 24 and am still single. Thankfully they don't bug me about it, but I feel the pressure. Also most of my friends are married now and many have had babies. BUT, also some of my friends who got married early are starting to get divorced. So...lots to be said for waiting.
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,291 Member
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    I honestly thought I'd never get married....30 came and went, and honestly I believed that I liked my things and freedom too much to want to mess that up....and 4 years later I did....I say have your fun and all while you still can, and if you get tired of that and want to screw it all up, then look to settle down LOL \m/
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
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    We were engage to be married at 16 - everybody told us to wait....that was 34 years ago....
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
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    Well I'd like to get engaged next spring but the marriage itself will wait on financial stability to support it. It's a very individual decision but certain cultures have certain rules for normality that people will pressure you into conforming to.
  • starbucksbuzz
    starbucksbuzz Posts: 466 Member
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    once you do get married, it doesn't just stop there.. then they are on you to have children...

    OMG so true. I hate this.

    Get married when you KNOW it's right for you. not based off what anyone else says or thinks. screw them. :grumble:
  • Debbe2
    Debbe2 Posts: 2,071 Member
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    When you fall in love and are loved back by that same person is the best time to get married to have happiness, devotion, faithfulness, longevity etc... Even when you both love each other more than life itself you sometimes will have struggles. You will know when the time is right cause you found the person who gives you purpose, gets you and completes you. Sound mushy? In my opinion it is just like this. Nothing to do with age, family pressure, friend pressure- everything to do with how you and the person you are in love with feels about eachother and the commitment you both want to make to e/o. Do yourself a favor and get married for the right reasons and that will be the right time! Good luck!

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