When to get Married...
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My boyfriend and I have been getting this for years from his family. Every time I see his aunt she runs up and grabs my hand to looks for a ring, it's super annoying. We don't get it so much from my family, just a quick comment every now and then from my mom. It might a little different for us though because we have been together for 8 years. It's not just marriage either, we always get asked when we are going to have kids. Sometimes it's like they have given up on the marriage part and just want the babies.0
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I'm an only child and my mom was married by 21 and had me by 22. I'm past that age so sometimes she's bring it up and ask me if I'm dating anyone. I always tell her if she's in such a hurry to have me married then she should find me a good man since she knows me so well. She hasn't and I'm content being single. I've got things to work on right now!0
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I am 39 almost 40 and they used to harass me all the time about kids and marriage. So I told them, last I recall this was my life, not theirs and - yeah I will live it as I see fit. Needless to say they have not bothered me since!0
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I have been married for 2 years now, but before that my grandmother was pretty bad. She got pulled over once and gave the cop my phone number.0
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I have been married for 2 years now, but before that my grandmother was pretty bad. She got pulled over once and gave the cop my phone number.
I'm engaged, but this sounds like something my grandmother would have done as well... :laugh:0 -
I have been married for 2 years now, but before that my grandmother was pretty bad. She got pulled over once and gave the cop my phone number.
hahahaha this is funny. My grandmother did this at JC Pennys once.0 -
As a guy, I never had the pressure to get married from MY family, but at times you definitely can feel the pressure from the girl you're with. Girls have their families bugging them about babies and all of that talk of biological clocks ticking. I just don't think that's a good enough reason to rush into anything that involves the rest of your life. When you're in your 20's, you've (hopefully) got a long life ahead of you. You've got to make sure you're buying into that concept on your own terms. You need to love yourself and not be insecure about who you are. You need to be able to be 100% honest with yourself and know what you want in life. I know I didn't have that stuff down until I was about 30-31 years old, which means I probably wouldn't have been capable of being a great husband until now.
Regardless, I think that you'll KNOW when it's time. I was in long-term relationships where I never felt compelled to marry, but my wife and I got married about 8 months after we met, and it's been an amazing experience. It just felt right. Then again, we were both in our thirties, were completely happy with who we were, and had been through enough relationships to know exactly what we wanted and what would/wouldn't work. When we found it, we felt no pressure or anxiety about it. Heck, both of our families didn't even care when we told them that we'd probably come back from Vegas married. I guess I'm thankful to have such a laid back fam and a wife that didn't pressure me. Haha.0 -
Yup I am 25 and my parents make it seem like their dying in the next five years and I need to get married and have kids a.s.a.p
Yet I will do it when I find a good man who is supportive, honest,loving, and can handle my crazy/adventurous azz. Besides i want to be in my career, house, nice car and can bring my own skit to the table as well as him:)0 -
As a guy, I never had the pressure to get married from MY family, but at times you definitely can feel the pressure from the girl you're with. Girls have their families bugging them about babies and all of that talk of biological clocks ticking.
It's the complete opposite for my boyfriend and I, all the pressure comes from his family.0 -
I'm 23 and I just got married in December. My view is that only you know when marriage is right for you. I went on so many awful dates and some decent ones before I met my now husband but I always trusted my instincts. You just have to trust yourself and when the right man comes along you will know. It doesn't matter if you're 24 or 64.
Btw...My family hated my husband when they first met him. But I'll never find anyone who I love more or who could love me more. He takes amazing care of me and supports me in everything I do. My family is coming around.0 -
Only while I was in my 20s and 30s. I think they FINALLY gave up now that I turned 40 and still refuse to do it.0
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Hells yea! Tomorrow's my 31st birthday and I'm the youngest OF 5, only girl, and only one without children. You can imagine how many times I hear that during a family gathering! It's AWESOME!0
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I got married at 21 to my High School sweetheart. My son has just gotten married at 18. Yes, I will be a grandfather soon (in November).
I think the most important thing to remember about getting married is that you need to find someone who will be willing to submit to. And someone who is willing to submit to you. If you are both in a role where you are looking out for the others best interest, your marriage will flourish. If you are just getting married because society say's you MUST, then I would recommend that you don't. You'll probably just end up another divorce statistic.
Marriage is a sacrifice of your self to include another person as a part of you. It's that whole 2 become 1 flesh thing. That's when it works best.
It's not 'when' to marry, but 'why' to marry.
Agree!!
Agree with this. I was 22 when I married my husband who was 25. No pressure from parents. In fact, mine were 100% against it. About to celebrate 3 year anniversary with two beautiful children (and no, I wasn't pregnant when we got married
Get married when you're ready. Way better to wait then rush in and have it not work out. 0 -
wait'll you do get maried and they start with the "when you gonna have a baby!" My wife and I were married for 15 years and everytime we went to her familys house it was endless. I fnally told them i was sterile!, lMAO0
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I am 28 and pregnant with my first child. My mom has been bugging me about getting married but as of right now I feel like me and my boyfriend are already married. We have a house togther and well starting a family together. We plan to get married sometime after we have the baby but are in no hurry now. We would like to focus on getting ready for that instead of stresing about a wedding.
I think that when the time is right you will know when to get married. 23 is still very young. You still have alot of living left to do and if you dont feel like the one you are with is the ONE then just enjoy what you have now0 -
I'm 23 years old my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years now. We dated for a while then I moved away to another state and he moved with me ; we lived together for 3 1/2 years in NorthWest. We moved back to the South were all both of our families are from. Now that we are back , my family keeps talking about marriage and his family keeps asking about marriage too.
We have both decide when the time is right it will happen, but I do think that the pressure of getting married young is something about the South. Because when I lived in the NorthWest my family who is from there didn't pressure us once about marriage at all.0 -
I got married at 21 to my High School sweetheart. My son has just gotten married at 18. Yes, I will be a grandfather soon (in November).
I think the most important thing to remember about getting married is that you need to find someone who will be willing to submit to. And someone who is willing to submit to you. If you are both in a role where you are looking out for the others best interest, your marriage will flourish. If you are just getting married because society say's you MUST, then I would recommend that you don't. You'll probably just end up another divorce statistic.
Marriage is a sacrifice of your self to include another person as a part of you. It's that whole 2 become 1 flesh thing. That's when it works best.
It's not 'when' to marry, but 'why' to marry.
perfect response espMarriage is a sacrifice of your self to include another person as a part of you. It's that whole 2 become 1 flesh thing. That's when it works best.
It's not 'when' to marry, but 'why' to marry.0 -
I get more pressure from my grandmother and my aunts than my mom and dad. Both my mom and dad have said they're not ready for grandkids and I know for a fact (since I'm the oldest) that they will be super hard on whomever "catches" me.
That said, I want to get married, but am not rushing in to anything. I'm almost 30 and single. So what?
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Yes for the past 5 years :ohwell:0
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You're lucky that it's worked for you, just turned 40, still single and have to suffer through the "when are you going to find someone.... you're running out of time to have kids...." (thanks, just stick the knife in deeper) The fact that I have a really cool career, bought my own place, can take care of myself...irrelavent.I am 39 almost 40 and they used to harass me all the time about kids and marriage. So I told them, last I recall this was my life, not theirs and - yeah I will live it as I see fit. Needless to say they have not bothered me since!
What is apparently relavent is that I can't find "Mr. Right" (mind you, not for lack of trying on my part... don't know what's wrong with me that guys aren't interested... the ones that are afraid of me because of the above mentioned really cool career, well their loss)0 -
This X 1000000000000000000000000N e v e r.0 -
My family's the exact OPPOSITE. It makes my mom uncomfortable that my boyfriend of 4+ years and I are talking about getting married; heck, we would be if a wedding wasn't so expensive. Neither my parents nor his want us married before we're done with school. Well, we've got a year left of our MA and then we're both going in for our PhDs. So that's... another 5ish years before we're 'allowed' to get married? Now, I know I'm 23 and all, but I think we're old enough to have a discussion on marriage and decide for ourselves when we're ready.0
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Don't do it!!!0
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Remember that your twenties are just the doorway to adulthood. Everyone goes through a major personality shift somewhere between 27 and 33- regardless of their personal life circumstances. You cant truly know yourself with only a handfuls of years under your belt after highschool- you havent had enough time to make enough mistakes to learn the hard stuff about who you really are. remember that when you pick someone for life- knowing that you are both going to turn into other people.
Hold out until you have a firm grasp on not only what you want now, but what you might possibly want later.
Deciding when to get married is when you are supposed to be selfish. Cause if you dont leave room for your own happiness later, you may accidentally end up resenting the person you made the unknown sacrifice for.
Tell your family to stfu and wish you happiness instead of forcing you to rush into a major life decision thats extremely difficult to change- especially if theyre going to be judging your *kitten* when you think about getting separated or if youre just not happy. They love to push but think that getting married is the end of the game.
I was engaged several times in my twenties but realised that I needed to know who I really was before I could know what the other half of my dream team looked like.0 -
I've always wanted to be married by 25/26 years old. In currently 22 years old and is single. Now I just say, "Go with the flow with things" I'm just focusing on my career and education and when the time comes, it will. But I want a child before I'm 30 lol so I do kind of hope I will be married by then first lol0
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Marriage is stupid, you don't need marriage to make a commitment to someone. If you find "Mr. Right" and you plan on being with him/her forever, then what do you need to get married for right away? Settle with someone for a decade and then decide if marriage is a smart decision.0
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Nope. I got married at 16. Been married for 7 years. I'm 23 too! 0
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My mom and grandparents want me to get married to my boyfriend of almost two years but they aren't like harassing me about it. It would just make them both happy. I am also 23. I would say yes if he was smart enough to ask :P0
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You're lucky that it's worked for you, just turned 40, still single and have to suffer through the "when are you going to find someone.... you're running out of time to have kids...." (thanks, just stick the knife in deeper) The fact that I have a really cool career, bought my own place, can take care of myself...irrelavent.I am 39 almost 40 and they used to harass me all the time about kids and marriage. So I told them, last I recall this was my life, not theirs and - yeah I will live it as I see fit. Needless to say they have not bothered me since!
What is apparently relavent is that I can't find "Mr. Right" (mind you, not for lack of trying on my part... don't know what's wrong with me that guys aren't interested... the ones that are afraid of me because of the above mentioned really cool career, well their loss)
Wow, I could have written this!!!0
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