Tactless Boyfriend!
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Exaggeration much? He obviously loves you. He just wants you to push so you can be the best you that you're capable of being. It also seems that you're taking what he says too personally. He most likely didn't mean anything by it, especially the yogurt thing. If anything, he was probably being sarcastic. Guys do that stuff all the time. It's just not really in their heads to be sensitive to everything. And they aren't mind readers so they can't always tell when you're gonna take something the wrong way. If it happens again just ask him "What do you mean by that?". Clears things up instantly!0
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Sorry but you didn't nip it in the bud when you had the chance.
Time to sit down and have an honest chat. Tell him you don't want to hear his stupid comments anymore. That's it.0 -
3 hours in the gym is too long.
You could get the same results or better with something higher intensity which would be done in an hour at most.
^^ This. Agreed. I think any trainer would tell you that if you can consistently work out for 3+ hours a day, you're not getting a great work out because your body NEEDS to rest, esp when you are doing weights and strength training.0 -
I've had similar comments in the past, and tbh you just need to give it to him straight! If he meant it or not, is in my opinion not the issue. The issue is how it affects you, and if you're not happy with these comments, just sit him down, and explain that it's making you feel kinda ****ty, and perhaps suggest what would help instead.. then if he's a good boyfriend he should understand and support you in more helpful ways
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In all honesty, he sounds somewhat insensitive and maybe a little controlling. Judging from your pictures and your ticker, you are quite small right now. Him being concerned that you are not working out 4 hours a day is a little strange to me. I think you look great!0
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Grow up. He's trying to talk to you about something he can see you are passionate about. A little awkwardly perhaps, but since you're not giving him much to go on, give him a break.
And three hours at the gym?
He probably is trying to figure out when he might get a chance to see you again.
Did you not read? He was criticizing her for not doing 4 hours!!!!!
Some of these responses here are making me sick.
I know right? I feel like I am on a battered women's syndrome site or something...
Blame the victim popped into my head at one point.
And telling somone with mental health issues (ED) to "buck up" is just plain cruel.0 -
Grow up. He's trying to talk to you about something he can see you are passionate about. A little awkwardly perhaps, but since you're not giving him much to go on, give him a break.
And three hours at the gym?
He probably is trying to figure out when he might get a chance to see you again.
Did you not read? He was criticizing her for not doing 4 hours!!!!!
Some of these responses here are making me sick.
I know right? I feel like I am on a battered women's syndrome site or something...
Holyyy....he was probably just kidding about the yogurt thing, and the exercise thing was probably just his way of motivating her. If she HAS done 4 + hours in the past then it's not an unreasonable thing to say. And BATTERED WOMAN SITE? Are you kidding???? Clearly you have NEVER been in an abusive relationship, or you would not even dare say that.0 -
You have to ask yourself, "Do I want to spend the rest of my life being judged by this guy?" Because he'll never stop...it only gets worse.
I dated guys like this...guys who make you feel good and overtime they start nit-picking and making you doubt yourself. THESE GUYS ARE NOT WORTH IT!
Successful relationships are built on mutual respect and support.0 -
Healthy relationships are based on honesty. Having an ED and not telling your boyfriend about it but getting upset that he's making comments that could possibly be in jest (we don't know his tone of voice, facial expressions, etc.) is hiding something from him, something that's important that he know about. Both parties are wrong in this instance. Sorry.0
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I have been married to the most insensitve arsehole when it comes to weight issues for the last 22 years. He does however have a lot of redeeming qualities, he just doesn't get it when it comes to people being overweight. There has been alot of comments that have almost started WWIII or a divorce. You have to weigh the good and the bad and don't ever stop telling him when he says something stupid. Hopefully he will get the message. I'm sure he is basically a nice guy and good to you. We shouldn't judge him because we do not know him. There is good in everyone.0
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Grow up. He's trying to talk to you about something he can see you are passionate about. A little awkwardly perhaps, but since you're not giving him much to go on, give him a break.
And three hours at the gym?
He probably is trying to figure out when he might get a chance to see you again.
Did you not read? He was criticizing her for not doing 4 hours!!!!!
Some of these responses here are making me sick.
I know right? I feel like I am on a battered women's syndrome site or something...
Holyyy....he was probably just kidding about the yogurt thing, and the exercise thing was probably just his way of motivating her. If she HAS done 4 + hours in the past then it's not an unreasonable thing to say. And BATTERED WOMAN SITE? Are you kidding???? Clearly you have NEVER been in an abusive relationship, or you would not even dare say that.
Verbal and emotional abuse. It's not battery in the legal sense but it's abuse. BTDT0 -
One - your college should provide free health services with 10 dollar co pay along with counseling. Look into that.
Two - your college may even have a free gym so you won't have to join the ymca.
Three - Your boyfriend sounds like a trigger for you and I commend you if you haven't lapsed back into negative habits.
Let go a little bit of the control with working out. If you're working out 3 to 4 hrs a day are you replenishing that with protein? Carbs?
If you do not have these things you mess up your metabolism. Why are you working out so much? Do you need to tone? get your mind off of things? Is there anything else you can do with your day to get your mind off having so much control over your body? Consider how many calories you burn working out vs how many you are eating..maybe talk to a nutritionist about long term goals.
I was just browsing on here and noticed this topic and from one ed to another I know it's hard. Luckily enough I have a sister and a brother in law as a psychologist so I was able to seek help early.
Getting rid of your boyfriend will only be solving half the problem. The other half is yours to fix. Consider that your control. I remember being anxious going off to college too! Could it be that you're hyperfocusing on food and workouts due to that stress? Regardless keep your head up and love yourself.0 -
Grow up. He's trying to talk to you about something he can see you are passionate about. A little awkwardly perhaps, but since you're not giving him much to go on, give him a break.
And three hours at the gym?
He probably is trying to figure out when he might get a chance to see you again.
Did you not read? He was criticizing her for not doing 4 hours!!!!!
Some of these responses here are making me sick.
I know right? I feel like I am on a battered women's syndrome site or something...
Holyyy....he was probably just kidding about the yogurt thing, and the exercise thing was probably just his way of motivating her. If she HAS done 4 + hours in the past then it's not an unreasonable thing to say. And BATTERED WOMAN SITE? Are you kidding???? Clearly you have NEVER been in an abusive relationship, or you would not even dare say that.
Please, I am 37 years old... and my ex husband used to try to beat my *kitten* on a weekly basis and I went to jail along with him on a weekly basis because I fought him back with all my might every time. I have even had a loaded pistol shoved in my face... Within a year I left his *kitten* for good... that was18 years ago. If the OP's *kitten* boyfriend was just kidding WTF is her feeling's hurt? If she feels the need to come on here and rant about the douche there probably is a problem. If there wasn't why would she even waste her time to type a paragraph about this idiot boyfriend. Don't make excuses for him.. A PENIS is not worth it!0 -
Holyyy....he was probably just kidding about the yogurt thing, and the exercise thing was probably just his way of motivating her. If she HAS done 4 + hours in the past then it's not an unreasonable thing to say. And BATTERED WOMAN SITE? Are you kidding???? Clearly you have NEVER been in an abusive relationship, or you would not even dare say that.
Actually, I'll think you'll find that this is where abusive relationships can and do start. From someone who knows BTW.0 -
I think you letting him know about your past would help the situation greatly. If he is the "sweet guy" you claim, then it shouldn't be a problem.0
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Sorry...but he sounds like a d##k! he doesnt love you if he's making stupid comments like that after you've had an ED. Im lucky to pull an hour of exercise a day and Im exhausted. In my opinion, you are doing way too much exercise in one day, especially if its one class after the other. maybe do morning ones, then evening ones. Stay strong and dont let him break you.
Just saw he doesnt know about your past. Maybe something you should tell him. Might shut him up.
Agree with this - completely0 -
"- see how he's behaving (and reacting to the pizza I'm planning on having tomorrow night!) "
This guys seems like an ED incarnate judging and mocking every tiny thing you put in your mouth and being dissapointed that you're ONLY doing 3 hours of intensive cardio.
Whether he's an innocent fool or a manipulative jerk who wants to control his girlfriend (sounds like the latter to me as teasing you about eating an entire pot of yoghurt, unless he was being sarcastic as it's not alot, is not the same as teasing you for eating 5 big macs in a row) based on his attitude I think you need to get rid of him for the sake of your recovery.
Good luck on your recovery! But honestly without telling him about your ED if you're not comfortable, please tell him "comment on what I'm eating again and I'll shove this pizza slice so far up your backside you'll be digesting it backwards... now go get me a sammich"
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you need to be honest with him about your past. Also, this negativity about food is not going to help you. Is it really worth it if he's making you feel like crap?0
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It's been said on here before, but I'll say it again: IF you want to keep him around, AND not slip back into your ED, you need to tell him about it, and ask him to stop making comments about your eating and exercise habits, except to support you as you continue to move away from the ED....Advice? I would have no idea how to approach the subject if I were to try to talk to him about it, as he knows nothing of my ED past.
Additionally, if YOU have not seen an ED specialist, I highly recommend doing so, and if this guy is going to be a big part of your life, you should ask the specialist to teach him how to support you.
If the guy is a summer romance, and you have no intention of telling him about your ED, then get rid of him now. He's putting voice to all of the things you have probably tried to silence in your own head. That's dangerous territory.0 -
Why haven't you told him, exactly?0
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