My boyfriend makes fun of me when I diet.

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  • mistigoodwin
    mistigoodwin Posts: 411 Member
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    I say use the fact that he doubts you as MOTIVATION! Don't consider it a diet, consider it just eating healthier. You can give up on dieting but you still gotta eat, so eat healthy and consider it as something normal you just do. It really needs to become a lifestyle if you are going to continue to do it. Good Luck!!
  • postrockandcats
    postrockandcats Posts: 1,145 Member
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    Have you made an attempt to tell him why these things are appropriate to say? If you call him on it and he realizes that it's hurtful and starts supporting you, then good for him. If he ignores you and keeps saying things like that, then he's probably saying these things about other parts of your life as well and might not be the guy you want in your life.

    Good luck and don't let the *kitten* get you down :)
  • kelsully
    kelsully Posts: 1,008 Member
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    My mom does fad diets. She does well for a few weeks then has a bad day and eats real food and forgets all about it. She spends loads of money on fad diets. We have admittedly made fun of some of them. We support her getting healthy but think it is silly to be so easily convinced that this new easy way was going to work this time. We have made fun of the Pu-erh tea...but we never make fun of her for trying. The point is ...if you start something that makes sense and you don't get preachy and know it all like in the first weeks then maybe your BF will come around. If you start something crazy and then start preaching to others how juicing is the only way to eat and if you chew food you are dooming yourself to some sort of horrid disease and untimely death then that might be why you are the victim of teasing. Look at not only your BF's behavior but your own as well. If you are making sensible choices, and being cool about it and he is making fun of you then he needs a piece of your mind etc...if you are constantly talking of your new diet and only eating lettuce and celery etc and telling him he should do the same then your behavior might be needing some changing.
  • kbmiller27
    kbmiller27 Posts: 70 Member
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    Tell him (and yourself) that it's not a diet: it's a lifestyle. You have to believe it to live it and sustain it.
    If it's a big point of contention, don't push it on him but lead by example. Maybe he'll decide to join you.

    Best of luck.

    I have to agree with this advice. He may seem like a jerk because he ridicules you (OP), but your bf may just have his own insecurities about his own diet and it's easier for him to mock you than to change his own ways.

    I felt similarly when it came to me and my husband, but I chose to do my own thing, and secretly hoped that he would eventually join me. I knew that if I pushed him - because this type of thing IS a big point of contention with us - he would be even more stubborn about it.

    I started a different calorie counting website, (to try to lead by example) a few weeks ago, and when he realized I was losing simply by counting, last Monday I got an invite to MFP to be friends with him. :smile:
  • JamesterCK
    JamesterCK Posts: 109 Member
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    This may not be what you want to hear, but this is not someone who is probably ever going to let you change. I don't know if he is afraid you'll leave him when you get fit and healthy or what; what I do know is that it's going to be SO difficult for you to make a change for the better with his negativity and mocking of your goals. You need support and obviously he's not willing to give it to you. This is how my ex-boyfriend would have been. He was the kind of guy that would have put me down if I tried to better myself. Guess what, I'm not with him anymore and haven't been for a long time. My wonderful husband, who I have been with for 6 years (married for 5) has never once discouraged me from doing anything that would help me achieve my goals. I have tried to adopt a healthier lifestyle more times than I can count, but he is always very supportive, tells me what a good job I'm doing, and tells me how much better I'm looking. That support is crucial for me; the friends I've made so far on MFP are great too and we're always rooting each other on, but without my husband's encouragement I wouldn't be able to do it. I know it's hard to leave sometimes, so if you're 100% committed to staying with him, then you're probably going to have to do it without his help/support. You need to just block out his negative comments and maybe encourage him to keep his junk food out of sight. Have you tried telling him truly how much it hurts you when he's not supportive? There are plenty of people on here who can attest to the fact that it may take several tries at making a lifestyle change before it sticks. I'm a prime example, and hoping that this is the time I reach my goals. I know you can do it too!
  • Mhaney
    Mhaney Posts: 467 Member
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    As part of your lifestyle change, take a martial arts class.

    Next time he gives you crap, punch him in the throat. Problem solved.
  • classictoaster
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    Dump him or talk to him. My boyfriend spurned my efforts at first when he found out I was counting calories, but instead of being negative, he told me that I was beautiful and that I didn't need to change, and that we should go get fried chicken for dinner. Ahem.

    He's is very very physically fit and doesn't need to worry about his food intake at all. It was kind of sabotage, but in the nice way? After I continuously emphasized that he needed to stop because I wasn't going to put my efforts repeatedly on hold, he actually started helping me and offered to run a 5K with me at the end of the year. And now he compliments me on my efforts.

    So, if after talking to him about needing a support system and he still tears you down, I'd cut him out. /: It's just not worth it to have that negative energy around you.
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
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    dump him. if he isn't backing you 100% then something is seriously wrong.
    if he loved you, he would be supportive. period. no excuses.
  • anels449
    anels449 Posts: 3,187 Member
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    Sounds like part of your healthy lifestyle should be cutting the boyfriend out and upgrading!
  • Sharyn913
    Sharyn913 Posts: 777 Member
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    People who give others a hard time about dieting do it to validate themselves for eating garbage. It makes them feel 'right' by putting you down, so they don't have to change as well.

    I'm sure if you're in a serious relationship and you inform him that you are seriously trying to better your HEALTH, not just lose weight, he'll understand. Make it very clear that you're not 'dieting' but you're changing your lifestyle completely.

    THIS!
  • hopsanddreams
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    My husband did the same when I started changing my eating habits. I'm not trying to lose a ton here, but he does need to. But when I started seeing results, he started taking my "diet foods" with him to work for lunch too (half sandwich, fruits and veggies or a side salad, instead of our former microwave pizza or full sandwich and chips on the side) and stopped complaining that there wasn't enough dinner for double portions, etc. He wasn't complaning so much when he also lost 10 lbs.

    Dh also sees that I'm making this change for not only myself, but our family. I want to be in shape, be active with our DD. He is also starting to realize this and now he's instigating the family walks after dinner and such.

    IMHO, the best thing you can do is stick it out. He's making fun (or at least my DH did) because he thinks you won't follow through, that it's just a 2 week "phase". Show him you're strong enough to reach your goals. As they say "the best revenge is a life well-lived." Live well for yourself, for your future. If he doesn't see that and come around (as my DH did... eventually), then maybe you should really take a look at how supportive he is, and how he would be in other situations of stress when you'll also need support.
  • lilchino4af
    lilchino4af Posts: 1,292 Member
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    Tell him (and yourself) that it's not a diet: it's a lifestyle. You have to believe it to live it and sustain it.
    If it's a big point of contention, don't push it on him but lead by example. Maybe he'll decide to join you.

    Best of luck.

    I have to agree with this advice. He may seem like a jerk because he ridicules you (OP), but your bf may just have his own insecurities about his own diet and it's easier for him to mock you than to change his own ways.

    I felt similarly when it came to me and my husband, but I chose to do my own thing, and secretly hoped that he would eventually join me. I knew that if I pushed him - because this type of thing IS a big point of contention with us - he would be even more stubborn about it.

    I started a different calorie counting website, (to try to lead by example) a few weeks ago, and when he realized I was losing simply by counting, last Monday I got an invite to MFP to be friends with him. :smile:
    That's awesome! Congrats to you two for getting on the same page and good luck on your journey to a healthier life together!
  • kbmiller27
    kbmiller27 Posts: 70 Member
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    Tell him (and yourself) that it's not a diet: it's a lifestyle. You have to believe it to live it and sustain it.
    If it's a big point of contention, don't push it on him but lead by example. Maybe he'll decide to join you.

    Best of luck.

    I have to agree with this advice. He may seem like a jerk because he ridicules you (OP), but your bf may just have his own insecurities about his own diet and it's easier for him to mock you than to change his own ways.

    I felt similarly when it came to me and my husband, but I chose to do my own thing, and secretly hoped that he would eventually join me. I knew that if I pushed him - because this type of thing IS a big point of contention with us - he would be even more stubborn about it.

    I started a different calorie counting website, (to try to lead by example) a few weeks ago, and when he realized I was losing simply by counting, last Monday I got an invite to MFP to be friends with him. :smile:
    That's awesome! Congrats to you two for getting on the same page and good luck on your journey to a healthier life together!

    Aw thank you :smile:
  • whitefang66
    whitefang66 Posts: 38 Member
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    sounds to me like he is insecure, and scared of losing you cos when you look sexy as hell lots more other blokes will be eyeing you up, so kick him to the kerb and enjoy the attention of other guys .. one of which will support what you do, not ridicule!
  • wolveslovemee
    wolveslovemee Posts: 156 Member
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    OP do you have any response to all of this?