Does anyone have a Narcissistic Mother?

Lobster1987
Lobster1987 Posts: 492 Member
in Chit-Chat
I'm just trying to see if there are others out there who have suffered this type of emotional abuse growing up.

If you aren't sure...check out www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com or http://parrishmiller.com/narcissists.html.

I'm looking for friends and support of people with similar family issues.
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Replies

  • Laura_Suzie
    Laura_Suzie Posts: 1,288 Member
    I don't, but reading that website, it sounds A LOT like the mother of a friend I had growing up. She was just awful to my friend... I was a 10 year old child and I knew her behavior wasn't normal. So sorry you've had to go through this. :(
  • Lobster1987
    Lobster1987 Posts: 492 Member
    Thank you. I'm just finally learning that it has a name. It's really eye opening knowing that there are others like me out there. I just think it would be neat to have friends who are trying to be healthy who also struggle with family issues this complex.
  • Smuterella
    Smuterella Posts: 1,623 Member
    Yep. disowned her 15 years ago. Best thing I ever did.
  • Lobster1987
    Lobster1987 Posts: 492 Member
    How did the disowning go? I haven't talked to mine since she told me to go to hell and drop dead about 3 months ago.
  • Smuterella
    Smuterella Posts: 1,623 Member
    I just stopped all contact and when I moved I moved I didn't tell her. I feel great about it. Occasional pangs of sadness but they get less with each passing year.
  • Lobster1987
    Lobster1987 Posts: 492 Member
    I struggle with having so much hate for her.
  • Smuterella
    Smuterella Posts: 1,623 Member
    Oh, i still have that, it is physically painful sometimes. I do understand. All I can say is that time and distance work wonders.
  • nothing1994
    nothing1994 Posts: 1,936 Member
    I dont know if i fall into this category or not

    My mom is CRAZYYY !!! i cant ever type the things shes done on the here. People would be like wtf lol
  • ickybella
    ickybella Posts: 1,438 Member
    Hey look, someone wrote an article about my MIL.
  • ShareeMorty
    ShareeMorty Posts: 324 Member
    OMG this decribes my mother to a T - I thought she was insane didn't realise there is a technical word for it. WOW just WOW!

    I have cut my mother off completely in the last 6 weeks - I feel so much better. I have had limited contact with her for the last 6 years but when I ended my marriage 6 weeks ago and she made it all about her, I decided enough was enough.
  • arbellas
    arbellas Posts: 40 Member
    I stopped talking to my mother about 4 years ago...with a 3 month break last year. But her craziness came out again and I cut her out of my life again. Unfortunately I'm having to deal with this whole relationship thing again since I'm getting married next year. Even just 2 e-mails later she's freaking out on me and can't compose herself enough to just be nice and say she will come to my wedding.

    Anyway, feel free to add me. The descriptions on that website describe my mom to a T. Never knew it had a name...good to know.
  • MooMooooo
    MooMooooo Posts: 306 Member
    I want to express my sympathies, it must be a nightmare.

    My mother is Schizoid (not Schizophenic) and as a result has done a lot of damage to my siblings and myself.

    Can't relate to your issues - my mum doesn't manipulate or set out to hurt us - she's just completely detached and absolutely neglectful.
  • VelociMama
    VelociMama Posts: 3,119 Member
    My father is a textbook narcissist. I no longer speak to him. I cut off communication last year, and I've been much happier for it though it took me 27 years to get to that point.

    Unfortunately, it's never easy to do that, but sometimes it has to happen for you to move forward in life.

    My father is a very toxic person in my life. His method of manipulation is neglect and talking behind my back. I couldn't deal with it anymore.
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
    I think my dad could be, but I have little contact with him these days. My mom may be a bit controlling but I don't think I'd call her a narcissist. I've given up job interviews and opportunities to move out because my mom did not approve of their locations. I'm working to buy a car and get my license so I may be able to move in with my boyfriend sometime next year. She won't like that either but if I wait for an opportunity that she likes, I'll be menopausal and still living with my mom. Sooo yeah. Some of my friends have called her a narcissist but I'm iffy on it. >.<
  • Lobster1987
    Lobster1987 Posts: 492 Member
    I'm glad I helped some of you figure it out. I just found the name for it recentlyy....I always thought I was a bad child and still feel unworthy of love....and still want her approval but now I know I'll never get it and its time to heal :)
  • Lobster1987
    Lobster1987 Posts: 492 Member
    if anyone else has one and would like someone to vent to...I would like friends. Id love some girlfrienbds who have this proble. I think it has contibuted a ton to my obesity.
  • littlebuddy84
    littlebuddy84 Posts: 995 Member
    Yes I disowned her about 8 years ago. Its the best decision I've ever made.
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
    OMG. Yes!

    I've actually spent extensive time researching this also.

    Thanks for posting this thread. I'm glad it's not just me who recognises the abuse. It's affected me more than anything.
  • miranda_mom
    miranda_mom Posts: 873 Member
    My mother is the exact opposite of narcissistic. My paternal grandmother on the other hand...

    I always tell people that whoever created Livia from the Sopranos must have known my grandmother.
  • Dreamerryu27
    Dreamerryu27 Posts: 281 Member
    Holy Crap! I had no clue there was a name for this or others grew up like me. I just figured my mom was off. WOW! Gonna need a minute.....
  • Darlingir
    Darlingir Posts: 437
    me.....
  • Darlingir
    Darlingir Posts: 437
    I struggle with having so much hate for her.

    I totally get what your saying...maybe one day down the road you may forgive her...hate is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die. You will be the only one that sufferers for it.

    Right now take care of yourself...
  • BrendaJaneK
    BrendaJaneK Posts: 49
    Wow, I never expected to see this topic on a fitness site. I'm a member of the daughters of narcissistic mothers site.

    My mother and I haven't spoken in three years... it has to be that way.

    May I suggest a book? The Wizard of Oz and other Narcissists. For me, I have yellow highlighter all through the book. It was a huge weight lifted to see my mother's hurtful behaviour in writing and finally learn that it's her.... not me. And I can't change that. I've spent alot of time wondering why my mother is the only person in my life who calls me names and puts me down. It's very painful.

    Another interesting site is The Luke Ministries. It's two older nuns who call this adult child abuse.
  • ShareeMorty
    ShareeMorty Posts: 324 Member
    I posted this link on my facebook last night and already have had a friend saying their Mom is the same. It is such a relief to realise that this is a real thing and not just me being a bad daughter. I don't think cutting your mother out of your life is necessary about hating her rather protecting yourself from abuse.
  • nas24
    nas24 Posts: 880 Member
    Moms are f**king nuts! My grand mother was to my mother, she in turn is the same to me and i pray im not that way with my daughter, fingers crossed
  • kayleesays
    kayleesays Posts: 564 Member
    I grew up embarrassed for my mother. She is completely bat****. To be fair, I'm pretty sure she has a small case of Aspergers and is a bona fide sociopath, but I just can't justify the things she says.
  • MadiRose2
    MadiRose2 Posts: 145
    For me, it was my father. Add me if you would like. The abuse is the same really, no matter who it comes from.

    I had a very hard time growing up. My mom just divorced him, and I think that is for the best.
  • BrendaJaneK
    BrendaJaneK Posts: 49
    Oh, i still have that, it is physically painful sometimes. I do understand. All I can say is that time and distance work wonders.

    This is good advice regarding time and distance, now that you know what it is. I would add... know that it's her and not you! You can't fix her. She can't either. Save yourself.
  • MaybeAMonkey
    MaybeAMonkey Posts: 247
    My father is a textbook narcissist. I no longer speak to him. I cut off communication last year, and I've been much happier for it though it took me 27 years to get to that point.

    Unfortunately, it's never easy to do that, but sometimes it has to happen for you to move forward in life.

    My father is a very toxic person in my life. His method of manipulation is neglect and talking behind my back. I couldn't deal with it anymore.

    ^^ Exactly. This is my father to a T. I cut him out of my life about 6 years ago and it was the *best* thing I've ever done for myself. My mother isn't as bad as him, but she's no picnic either. I moved away from where my mother lives for college and refuse to move back, now I'm across the country from her and our relationship is better for the distance. I will never allow my father back into my life though, he's completely toxic.
  • ElizabethObviously
    ElizabethObviously Posts: 380 Member
    Not sure if my mom fits this but she is very controlling, very condescending. I am sure if these kinds of mothers have that look...the raised eyebrows, the slight snarl in the lip, that look that says "Wow, you suck and what you are doing sucks," then YEAH my mom does that! To my mom, nothing I do is good enough. My husband is not good enough. I have never accomplished anything and I never will. And if I do not do things HER way, I am not doing it right.

    Oh and according to her, I am not allowed to move more than 10 miles from where she lives...so you tell me...is she???

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