Once a Cheater …Always a Cheater…is BS

SF2514

I've cheated in 90% of my relationships. Well kind of, most of my relationships weren't exclusive lol. I always cheated"" with the same man though. I'm now married to that man and haven't cheated in the 8+ years we've been together. We have a wealth of trust unmatched by anyone I've ever known. I won't ever cheat on him because in all honesty even when I was with other people I knew he was the only one I'd ever truely care about. Sure, I'll be judged by most people who ask me if I've cheated. I won't lie about it though. It's something in my past and everyone has a past. Most people just aren't as open about it as I am .

aftergypsies

My BF cheated on me years ago and we are still together. He cheated on me because I was going through some terrible stuff with my family and I took out all my frustration on him. I wouldn't communicate with him in an adult manner. He went to someone else "emotionally" for support. I forgave him because he went to this other person because of me. And it's not one of those things where I am blaming myself and he's off the hook because he could have handled things differently as well. There is no excuse for cheating, but it happens. You can either move on from it together or break up with the person. There is no right or wrong way to handle it. I hate the judgement people get as the cheater or the forgiver. All circumstances are different. I hate this expression and always have. You cannot tell someone they will always cheat or they will be anything forever because they did something once.

RealWomenLovePitbulls

i think it depends on if the cheating is like a one time thing or a full out affair.... once can MAYBE be considered just a mistake, but if it is an ongoing thing, then it's more than just a mistake.... however, some people may change or meet the right person one day who makes them want to change their ways

jodycoady

Make way for all the haters....the topic is under "chit-chat"....stop complaining.

coachblt

Sugar-Coat this anyway you want, but the fact is: once a cheater, always a cheater!

Once a felon, always a felon. You may not commit any more crimes, but you are a felon for life.

Once a sexual predator, always a sexual predator, even though you may never be that way again.

There really is NO debate. Sorry!

Marcillene

One time when playing monopoly I stole money from the bank.

I did too!! :P and still have never lived it down. (I was 7 though)

caraiselite

you cant say once a cheater always a cheater applies to everyone.
most people grow up and realize 'wow i messed up' and they learned their lesson

you cheated, and felt bad. if you didn't feel bad, you might have cheated more.

BVannillie

I was cheated on by my ex when I was 20, so what did I do? I cheated on her to get even.

LOL.

coachblt

you cant say once a cheater always a cheater applies to everyone.

You're right because everyone doesn't cheat.

A murderer will always be a murderer. Doesn't matter if the act is committed again, the person is a murderer. Same thing can be said for a cheater.

BVannillie

I think you cant judge anybody too, because you never know why they did it. You dont know what really goes on in someones house and relationship, only they do. sometimes things look really peachy and happy, and they are far from it. we all make mistakes and as far as I know, nobodys perfect. I do think there are people who cheat just for the newness and rush of it all, but not everybody does. Sometimes you dont make the best decision, but if it's a mistake, learn form it and better yourself.

There are reasons to cheat?? If you're unhappy, LEAVE... simple as that.

EyeLikeTacos

Sugar-Coat this anyway you want, but the fact is: once a cheater, always a cheater!

Once a felon, always a felon. You may not commit any more crimes, but you are a felon for life.

Once a sexual predator, always a sexual predator, even though you may never be that way again.

There really is NO debate. Sorry!

sir,

you are twisting the true meaning of the statement...

Of course we all are sinners if he/she has sinned.

No one is trying to sugar-coat this...

When someone makes a blanket statement..."once a cheater always a cheater..." they mean they will cheat again..because they have in the past.

So if you stole anything in your life and never been caught are you still always a thief?

Are you always a liar, thief, speeder, and etc etc?

MeliJean78

Where are you hiding the tacos at? I'm hungry.

lisarenee_x0

Gotta say I agree. I cheated on my ex-boyfriend (I was 17, this was several years ago!) with my current husband. I have never cheated since then. I don't think it's acceptable to cheat, but when we're young, we make bad decisions. I cheated because of how terribly I felt all the time. My bf at the time treated me really badly, and I found something in someone else... turned out to be the best thing to ever happen to me. People have their reasons for cheating - some are chronic cheaters who don't wish to settle down, others, maybe they're just in a situation where they're afraid to change because what is unknown is so much scarier than what is known. I agree -- that saying is such BS. When I think back on it, it makes me feel terrible... to know that I did someone so wrong. In my head back then, he got what he deserved, but today, now that I'm older and my brain has fully formed, haha, I think it was pretty lousy of me. If you're gonna cheat, at least be upfront. Don't dangle two people at once. Drop the one you don't want.

PicNic00

Sugar-Coat this anyway you want, but the fact is: once a cheater, always a cheater!

Once a felon, always a felon. You may not commit any more crimes, but you are a felon for life.

Once a sexual predator, always a sexual predator, even though you may never be that way again.

There really is NO debate. Sorry!

sir,

you are twisting the true meaning of the statement...

Of course we all are sinners if he/she has sinned.

No one is trying to sugar-coat this...

When someone makes a blanket statement..."once a cheater always a cheater..." they mean they will cheat again..because they have in the past.

So if you stole anything in your life and never been caught are you still always a thief?

Are you always a liar, thief, speeder, and etc etc?

I think he's trying to say... Once that seed of doubt is planted.... Nothing can remove it.

Forgiveness can happen, Love can rekindle, Marriages can live strong...

But that seed although tiny....
It's still there.

paint_it_black

I think you cant judge anybody too, because you never know why they did it. You dont know what really goes on in someones house and relationship, only they do. sometimes things look really peachy and happy, and they are far from it. we all make mistakes and as far as I know, nobodys perfect. I do think there are people who cheat just for the newness and rush of it all, but not everybody does. Sometimes you dont make the best decision, but if it's a mistake, learn form it and better yourself.

There are reasons to cheat?? If you're unhappy, LEAVE... simple as that.

While i'm not condoning cheating I do wonder about the people who think you can just leave a serious relationship. Tell me do you walk out of the house you both own and leave yourself with nothing, or do you kick the other person out and ruin their life? What if kids, relocation or any other variable is in place that makes 'just leave' a lot harder than you make it sound. Again I am not condoning cheating, but seriously get real. Getting out of a serious relationship is highly traumatic and extremely difficult, and its often a stress-er that prompts people to cheat.

Mountainbiker2015

I think you cant judge anybody too, because you never know why they did it. You dont know what really goes on in someones house and relationship, only they do. sometimes things look really peachy and happy, and they are far from it. we all make mistakes and as far as I know, nobodys perfect. I do think there are people who cheat just for the newness and rush of it all, but not everybody does. Sometimes you dont make the best decision, but if it's a mistake, learn form it and better yourself.

I have known some that cheat, cheat, cheat and some that cheat once and that is it. I agree with the above post. You never know what goes on in a relationship/marriage. It is not always that easy to just walk away either.

coachblt

Sugar-Coat this anyway you want, but the fact is: once a cheater, always a cheater!

Once a felon, always a felon. You may not commit any more crimes, but you are a felon for life.

Once a sexual predator, always a sexual predator, even though you may never be that way again.

There really is NO debate. Sorry!

sir,

you are twisting the true meaning of the statement...

Of course we all are sinners if he/she has sinned.

No one is trying to sugar-coat this...

When someone makes a blanket statement..."once a cheater always a cheater..." they mean they will cheat again..because they have in the past.

So if you stole anything in your life and never been caught are you still always a thief?

Are you always a liar, thief, speeder, and etc etc?

Yes! I will always be a liar, thief, speeder, etc... There's NOTHING I can do to take those things back. I may never do them again, but I did in the past and there you have it.

I agree that not all people will cheat again, but the statement is correct: Once a cheater always a cheater. Like I said, sugar-coat it anyway you want, but that actually statement is a 100% correct statement.

PayneAS

Not reading the other pages of this thread, I can imagine what it will devolve into.

It truly should be more along the lines of "Once a cheater, more than likely always a cheater". There are exceptions to every rule but the fact is that once someone cheats they will probably cheat again.

My own story... I once technically cheated on my (now ex-) husband. We were in divorce proceedings at the time. It was taking awhile. I started seeing another guy. Things progressed and yes we got a hotel room and stayed the night together. I don't feel guilty for it. Like I said, I was already in the process of divorce. Yes, there will be quite a few people who would d@mn me for what I did and tell me I should have waited. But frankly I don't care what others think. I ended up marrying the man I was seeing (10 years together now, 8 married) and I've always told him that I would never cheat on him. I am mature enough that I know it won't happen again, if my (current) husband and I don't work out. Which I don't forsee. LOL.

Edit: married = marrying

LaSutopia

I think there is a difference between cheated and cheater...if you cheated once than you just cheated....once...maybe it was a mistake or maybe you just started a life long chain...I don't think if you did it one time and that was it...that you should be looked at as a "cheater"...just cause you sang a rap song once does not make you a rapper, you rode a horse once does not make you a cowboy, you killed a deer once does not make you a hunter, built a bird house does not make you a carpenter, smoked once does not make you a smoker, had a drink does not make you a drunk, scratched a lotto does not make you a gambling addict.......you should be up front and honest with the person you are with or the person you will get involved with after and they can decide if they want to trust you further...If I was interested in a guy that I found out had cheated before (once) I would most likely still give him a chance, now if this was a reoccurring theme in his relationships then yea, I would not think that he would not do it to me.....I think that the statement "once a cheater always a cheater"....is true....however cheating one time does not make you a cheater....IMO

mscrumbyy

I think it depends on whether you mean "cheater" as in a person who has cheated in the past and will always be stuck with that label, or as in a person who is repeatedly unfaithful. There's a pretty big difference. Saying that because you've done something once and so you have the potential to do it again doesn't make much sense to me because I think you'll always have the potential to do it, but you chose not to. And just because you did choose to, does not guarantee you'll do it again.

Besides, I do think there's a ton of different circumstances under which people cheat aside from just being a bit of a scum bag.

I also agree that it's much harder to break out of a serious relationship than just walking out. Especially if it's in any way abusive or you're being treated badly, your confidence is likely shot to pieces and you're less likely to be taking risks and making massive life changes.