Engagement rings and men

Stompp
Stompp Posts: 216
edited December 25 in Chit-Chat
So, I was just thinking... if you're supposed to give a girl an engagement ring, and not expect it back if it falls through to no fault of your own... You should get something too... Say.. a big screen TV, or something cool of your choosing...

Obviously I'm making these assumptions
a) you're not a *kitten* (well maybe you are... not the point)
b) the guy bought her an engagement ring and it wasn't cheap
c) stereotypical situation, man buys girl ring, girl b*tches out, keeps ring

What say you MFP??
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Replies

  • sexyrosey
    sexyrosey Posts: 137
    Why should the guy just pay for the ring? I say propose pick it out and split the cost. The whole guy buying the ring is so old fashioned...just saying :tongue:
  • 33neenaj
    33neenaj Posts: 306
    I agree.....men should get an engagement gift too!
  • Julzanne72
    Julzanne72 Posts: 468 Member
    My fiance paid for my ring, but he has a ring I bought him too. When we get married, I will get him a different one...but honestly if we broke up, I think i would probably give the ring back. I wouldn't feel right keeping it.
  • lalaloses
    lalaloses Posts: 22
    My now husband proposed with a Costume jewelry ring (fine with me). We ended up using a family ring of mine to make up my engagement ring (re-set) and then we split the cost of our wedding rings. and he did get a engagement present, he got ME :-D
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
    I get my bank accounts and assets I have hidden.
    She can keep the house, cars, savings and that crummy ring with the 1 carrot "qubit zirconia"....GOOD LUCK SELLING IT!:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • DoingitWell
    DoingitWell Posts: 560 Member
    Engagement rings should be made illegal. I don't want to advertise that I'm taken until I've signed the paperwork!
  • RealWomenLovePitbulls
    RealWomenLovePitbulls Posts: 729 Member
    I dunno why either person would want the ring, personally.... you don't like save it for later and give it to another girl, so what does it really matter!? the money? next ur gonna be asking for every gift u've ever given each other back and selling anything u bought together and splitting the money!? if the girl chooses to keep the right, one she may just not be ready to let go, or 2. she may feel as if she's earned it for dealing with u.
    unless the ring like belonged to the guys parent or something and had sentimental value, is it really worth fighting over?
    i personally would probably shove my ring down his throat if he decided he wanted to split (we are married) and he can get it back when it comes out the other end, but that's just how i roll!
  • RealWomenLovePitbulls
    RealWomenLovePitbulls Posts: 729 Member
    My now husband proposed with a Costume jewelry ring (fine with me). We ended up using a family ring of mine to make up my engagement ring (re-set) and then we split the cost of our wedding rings. and he did get a engagement present, he got ME :-D

    truth!
  • beachbabe9
    beachbabe9 Posts: 5
    I don't think a man should necessarily get a gift in return. I believe that gifts should be unconditional. all gifts. that you shouldn't expect anything in return when giving a gift.

    That said, i wanted to pay for my husband's wedding ring. A few weeks after he bought me an engagement ring, I bought him a wedding ring. And at the same place he bought mine, online at JamesAllen.com (by the way, if you want to save $$$, online is the way to go these days!)

    Granted, my ring was more expensive than his because mine has diamond and his is a plain gold band. But i didn't feel like i needed to spend the exact same price as he did. Last year, I got him an iPad for his birthday and he took me out to dinner for mine. I spent way more than on his bday than he did on mine. So it kind of evens out.
  • grrrlface
    grrrlface Posts: 1,204 Member
    It's part of engagement etiquette that the woman buys the man a small gift for engagement. Of course, she would be expecting theproposal as he would have asked her father's permission to ask for her hand in marriage so she would buy a gift in preparation.

    Obviously this is very old fashioned but that's how I expect it to be for mine. :-)
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
    LOL!

    this is funny. My grandmother actually gave my husband her first set of wedding rings, the band and engagement ring, for me after we had our first daughter. They were in her will to be mine anyway, so i don't consider them a gift from him AT ALL. And, I bought his wedding band. Not every girl is a money grubbing *kitten*. =)
  • ShareeMorty
    ShareeMorty Posts: 324 Member
    I have been engaged twice, the first ring I kept because I paid for it - now I cannot sell it for scrap LOL
    The second my kids lost so I can't return it.

    If I ever was daft enough to go for no 3, I wouldn't want a ring. I don't agree with giving the guy a present just because he proposed is kinda like rewarding him for wanting to marry you.
  • weevil66
    weevil66 Posts: 600 Member
    We didnt go the route of an engagement ring but if we did, the both of us would have been wearing olune and we would have paid for them together. Who says the woman is the only one who is supposed to wear one?
  • Gilbrod
    Gilbrod Posts: 1,216 Member
    Some things are better left old fashioned. Pancakes, apple turnovers, biscuits and engagements. I asked my wife's dad for permission to court AND get engaged. I earned his respect and my wife was all about dady being the only female child her parents had. If, God forbid, I ever have a daughter, I would expect the same thing. Regardless of what generation we live in. I have to know someone will honor as I honored my wife. Oh, my wife designed and bought my wedding ring. She gave me a Nintendo Gamecube as an engagement ring.


    EDIT: when I proposed to her, I had a rose in hand. I gave her the ring after she said yes.
  • Bethie_B
    Bethie_B Posts: 292 Member
    I told my dude he could propose with a $7 cubic zirconia, so.. he's not getting a flat screen for it. :happy:
  • deadstarsunburn
    deadstarsunburn Posts: 1,337 Member
    I offered to split the cost since it's our future together and I hate the idea of him spending so much. I found a type of gem stone I LOVE (not much of a diamond person anyway) so that helps a bit.
    I'm buying him an iPad though, I feel like that's fair. hahah.
  • paint_it_black
    paint_it_black Posts: 208 Member
    Ahhhh the romance in this thread would bring a tear to a glass eye :huh:
  • wellbert
    wellbert Posts: 3,924 Member
    A nice watch, IMO. One with moving parts inside.
  • JilianneNicole
    JilianneNicole Posts: 116 Member
    Some things are better left old fashioned. Pancakes, apple turnovers, biscuits and engagements. I asked my wife's dad for permission to court AND get engaged. I earned his respect and my wife was all about dady being the only female child her parents had. If, God forbid, I ever have a daughter, I would expect the same thing. Regardless of what generation we live in. I have to know someone will honor as I honored my wife. Oh, my wife designed and bought my wedding ring. She gave me a Nintendo Gamecube as an engagement ring.


    EDIT: when I proposed to her, I had a rose in hand. I gave her the ring after she said yes.

    This is so amazing and the way it should be!!!!!! My sons will do the same thing!! It's called respect and it's lacking in this society!!!!! So awesome!! Your wife is a lucky woman :)
  • stylistchik
    stylistchik Posts: 1,436 Member
    Why should the guy just pay for the ring? I say propose pick it out and split the cost. The whole guy buying the ring is so old fashioned...just saying :tongue:

    I paid for my engagement ring - AND our wedding bands because he was miserably broke at the time. I tease him about it now even though he fully supports us financially these days. lol
  • halips
    halips Posts: 134 Member
    I don't get it. Why would any girl want to keep the ring of a man she doesn't want to be with. For me it would be a constant nagging reminder. That ring evokes the promise of a future and shared love, if said promise is broken, return the ring!
  • darkling_glory
    darkling_glory Posts: 239 Member
    If a couple can't have a mature conversation about finances, engagement and marriage (you know, spending the rest of your LIFE together), than I don't feel bad if their engagement falls through.

    Harsh? Probably.
  • _skittybang
    _skittybang Posts: 970 Member
    Ehh.. I didn't get him anything as I wasn't expecting anything.

    You don't give gifts expecting something in return. He wanted me to have something that showed he was going to marry me and he was happy about that fact.

    He did get road head on the way home..
  • lozadee
    lozadee Posts: 89 Member
    If your getting married why are you still thinking in the mind set of yours and mine...what point do you become an "ours"?

    if you pay the gas and she pays the tv licence does that mean one of you is warm an the other is entertained?

    If you want to do something nice for someone else - it shouldnt be about returns.

    I'm sure over the years if you add up what one does and what the other does/what one pays for and the other pays for - surely it will equate similar!

    Failing that you might want to question why your choosing to get married and how your going to fight the divorce
  • collinj8
    collinj8 Posts: 98 Member
    Dude this is an awesome idea. I wonder if this can be retroactive. And if it can be retroactive, can it come with interest compounded? We are talking 13 years of marriage here, at we will say 1000 bucks. it would be about 1200 bucks. That would be an okay TV.
  • semeyer
    semeyer Posts: 282 Member
    If you really want the ring back if the engagement falls through, and you did NOT propose on a holiday or a birthday or something along those lines where the ring would be considered a gift, by law you could most likely get it back.

    An engagement ring is most times viewed as a conditional gift. See below.

    CONDITIONAL GIFT:
    That means that, until some future event occurs, the gift isn't final; if that event does not occur, then the donor has the right to get the gift back.
    Women who want to keep their engagement rings often argue that the condition needed to make the engagement ring a final gift is simply the acceptance of the proposal of marriage, not the completion of the marriage ceremony. That way, if the engagement is broken, the ring remains her property.
    However, this argument often loses. The majority of courts find that the gift of an engagement ring contains an implied condition of marriage; acceptance of the proposal is not the underlying "deal." Absent some other understanding -- say, that the ring is merely a memento of a great trip to Hawaii -- most courts look at engagement rings as conditional gifts given in contemplation of marriage:

    (Taken from --> http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/returning-engagement-ring-30198.html)
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
    Engagement rings should be made illegal. I don't want to advertise that I'm taken until I've signed the paperwork!

    So don't get one.
  • shannond1980
    shannond1980 Posts: 60 Member
    Why should the guy just pay for the ring? I say propose pick it out and split the cost. The whole guy buying the ring is so old fashioned...just saying :tongue:

    Agreed!
  • portalm
    portalm Posts: 201 Member
    So, I was just thinking... if you're supposed to give a girl an engagement ring, and not expect it back if it falls through to no fault of your own... You should get something too... Say.. a big screen TV, or something cool of your choosing...

    Obviously I'm making these assumptions
    a) you're not a *kitten* (well maybe you are... not the point)
    b) the guy bought her an engagement ring and it wasn't cheap
    c) stereotypical situation, man buys girl ring, girl b*tches out, keeps ring

    What say you MFP??

    Well this is a good concept and all, However Alot of things here... In an old fashion world the man buys the ring (3months salary supposdly) and then the womans father pays for the wedding or atleast the reception, there by saving the couple money over time.

    Things have changed massively in this day and age, where couples are now paying for everything cause all our parents are for the most part BROKE.

    I believe a man should by the woman her ideal engagement ring with a wedding band, as always. However I do not expect a cheap 14k white gold band in return. I want a Platinum band with a diamond in it with an antique cut. (not cheap by any sense of the word)

    So i believe if she pays for my ring, and should be well in the world as long as you split costs on the wedding.

    Besides being successful already I have most the things I would want for gifts anyway!
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
    My now husband proposed with a Costume jewelry ring (fine with me). We ended up using a family ring of mine to make up my engagement ring (re-set) and then we split the cost of our wedding rings. and he did get a engagement present, he got ME :-D

    Yeah. And you got him. Under that logic, the ring is an erroneous gift, and if you get one, he should get something as well.
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