Engagement rings and men

zenchild

I am a bad *kitten*. I proposed to my husband. AND I gave him a diamond ring (perfect diamond tension-set in a titanium ring, titaniumera.com). It was planned and I also got a ring but we both picked out the rings.

For those asking about who gets the ring in case of a break-up, the rule of thumb is that whoever breaks off the relationship forfeits the ring. UNLESS it is a family ring. In that case it goes back to the family regardless of who ended the relationship. You just don't keep someone else's family heirloom.

yannasmommy145

If you go into an engagement/marriage thinking about what will happen when it is over, maybe it shouldn't happen in the first place.

agreed

GZero81

Some things are better left old fashioned. Pancakes, apple turnovers, biscuits and engagements. I asked my wife's dad for permission to court AND get engaged. I earned his respect and my wife was all about dady being the only female child her parents had. If, God forbid, I ever have a daughter, I would expect the same thing. Regardless of what generation we live in. I have to know someone will honor as I honored my wife. Oh, my wife designed and bought my wedding ring. She gave me a Nintendo Gamecube as an engagement ring.


EDIT: when I proposed to her, I had a rose in hand. I gave her the ring after she said yes.

Kudos to you for doing what you thought was respectful. I think this is outdated for a reason though. It's a hold-over from a time when women were little more than property. (That's also why brides are traditionally "given away" at the wedding.) In this day and age we've finally reached a point where a woman can make her own choice. I have a little girl, and when she becomes an adult, she'll be just as free to make her own decision as my son will.

kristelpoole

This thread makes me so happy I'm dating a man who values tradition and doesn't feel the need to plan for a divorce scenario. :noway:

AbbsyBabbsy

If the engagement breaks up, regardless of reason, the woman should return the ring. There have been law suits about this.

yannasmommy145

my finace' and i got engaged almost 3 years ago. the reason that we havent gotten married as of yet is because we had our daughter 1 1/2 yr ago. Babies r expensive lol...the wedding is set for early 2013. he proposed to me on xmas eve and i wasnt expecting it. he was the only one working and i knew he couldnt afford a ring. he payed about 350 for my ring and he bought the entire set. engagement ring. wedding band and hs wedding band. im not the type of girl that needs to wear a $2000 ring to beleive he really loves me or to show the world. the thought of him buying a ring with the financial situation we were in since he was the only one working at the time and knowing he save every penny just to propose officially made me happy. yes my ring doesnt have the biggest rock or wasnt to expensive but he put his heart into it and that means more than any ring will ever mean.

rossi02

If the engagement breaks up, regardless of reason, the woman should return the ring. There have been law suits about this.

For the most part I agree with this.. but the exceptions for me would be. If the guy walked out the day of, or a few weeks prior to the wedding. I think the bride should be allowed to keep the rings to sale and recoup some of the cost if she, or her family paid for the wedding. I don't think it's fair for her to be jilted at the alter and suffer from the majority of the financial loss associated with last minute cancels.

chatdude

So, I was just thinking... if you're supposed to give a girl an engagement ring, and not expect it back if it falls through to no fault of your own... You should get something too... Say.. a big screen TV, or something cool of your choosing...

Obviously I'm making these assumptions
a) you're not a *kitten* (well maybe you are... not the point)
b) the guy bought her an engagement ring and it wasn't cheap
c) stereotypical situation, man buys girl ring, girl b*tches out, keeps ring

What say you MFP??

Do you always do what your supposed to do? :P

Personally, I'd appreciate not buying any ring and then I don't feel inclined to ask for something. I already got a tv etc. Honestly if they aren't a millionaire there is probably nothing they can buy me that I can't just buy myself. To me that's not what love is about...but that is simply my take on it.

akaporn

If you don't love her enough to GIVE her a ring. You are not ready to marry her. You shouldn't propose. Most people think of the engagement ring as a down payment to guarantee a marriage. I totally do not agree with that concept. I understand that it may be a big amount of money. But, that's only because of the pressure applied to us from the marketing schemes from the jewellery business. It's a sign of commitment. It's also symbolize the beginning of two lives together...

In my opinion, it seems like she is wasting her time...

akaporn

my finace' and i got engaged almost 3 years ago. the reason that we havent gotten married as of yet is because we had our daughter 1 1/2 yr ago. Babies r expensive lol...the wedding is set for early 2013. he proposed to me on xmas eve and i wasnt expecting it. he was the only one working and i knew he couldnt afford a ring. he payed about 350 for my ring and he bought the entire set. engagement ring. wedding band and hs wedding band. im not the type of girl that needs to wear a $2000 ring to beleive he really loves me or to show the world. the thought of him buying a ring with the financial situation we were in since he was the only one working at the time and knowing he save every penny just to propose officially made me happy. yes my ring doesnt have the biggest rock or wasnt to expensive but he put his heart into it and that means more than any ring will ever mean.

That's the example of the perfect couple starting their lives together in the right direction...

oregonzoo

Engagement movado he is gettiing.

diamond in my ring is a family heirloom(his family) so for if any reason we don't work out the ring will be returned to him.

yannasmommy145

my finace' and i got engaged almost 3 years ago. the reason that we havent gotten married as of yet is because we had our daughter 1 1/2 yr ago. Babies r expensive lol...the wedding is set for early 2013. he proposed to me on xmas eve and i wasnt expecting it. he was the only one working and i knew he couldnt afford a ring. he payed about 350 for my ring and he bought the entire set. engagement ring. wedding band and hs wedding band. im not the type of girl that needs to wear a $2000 ring to beleive he really loves me or to show the world. the thought of him buying a ring with the financial situation we were in since he was the only one working at the time and knowing he save every penny just to propose officially made me happy. yes my ring doesnt have the biggest rock or wasnt to expensive but he put his heart into it and that means more than any ring will ever mean.

That's the example of the perfect couple starting their lives together in the right direction.


aww thanks it means alot to me

dandaninc

Ahhhh the romance in this thread would bring a tear to a glass eye :huh:

hahahahahahaha

My first wife kept the $3000 ring I bought her and pawned it.

My current wife and I picked out her engagement ring together and she loves it. It is less of an engagement ring and more of just a ring that she loves. Our wedding rings were $10. It's the thought not the price. I love my wife to pieces and wouldn't change a thing except the size of MY *kitten*! (my wife is a sexy goddess and I'm lucky to have her)

trojanbb

If you go into an engagement/marriage thinking about what will happen when it is over, maybe it shouldn't happen in the first place.

No, this kind of thinking is disastrous. As the son of two parents who are still resolving a 10 year divorce legal battle, I know this firsthand. Any man who does not completely think this through for MONTHS beforehand deserves all the misery which is bound to follow. Ignoring the statistics is folly.

jran3

I understand the whole "it's a gift" thing however technically it's a conditional gift. It was given to you as a promise to marry. If the promise isn't met then it's no longer a gift and should be returned.

Personally I wouldn't feel right keeping it unless I gave it back and he said no, you keep it. After a while I'd probably have it reset into another piece of jewelry.

It's also classier to give the ring back no matter what the circumstance.

While this is the "right thing to do", it is, in fact, still "a gift". Once given, it belongs to the receiver of said gift, with all the rights and privileges of ownership.

hiddensmiles21

Haha what an interesting thread....I was engaged a few years ago [so young, so dumb] and he was the one to break it off [no cheating, just didn't want to marry me, what a doll] Anyway, my engagement ring was a platinum ring from Tiffany's, gorgeous. Yea, I gave that sucker back. Here's the thing, why would I want to keep it? For all the good karma it holds? I think not. Plus he bought it so its his to sell. [ps-you can't really get your money back on a pawned engagement ring...]

jran3

This thread makes me so happy I'm dating a man who values tradition and doesn't feel the need to plan for a divorce scenario. :noway:

It's funny you say that. I'm a traditional guy that did it the traditional way. But the lawyer in me also wants to question why a marriage is the only contract where the "divorce" and how to handle same is not spelled out up front. In every other contract in business, the eventuality of a a potential "divorce" is contemplated and negotiated in the original agreement. Commonly known as the "buyout clause".

Jellyphant

Engagement rings should be made illegal. I don't want to advertise that I'm taken until I've signed the paperwork!

:indifferent:

mateo57505

When I was engaged my then fiance (now she is my wife) didnt think it was fair that she had to wear a ring and advertise she ws engaged and I didnt. I told her to buy the ring and I would wear it. She agreed I picked it out and I wore it for months before our wedding. During this time she said she felt bad cause she wanted to give me something on our special day (as I would be adding to her engagement ring on our wedding day) that was new and was special to me. So I like watches and she bought me a Movado that she gave to me on our wedding day.

I got a ring (I was going to have one anyway) and I got a Movado out of it..... I made out like a bandit!!!

trojanbb

This thread makes me so happy I'm dating a man who values tradition and doesn't feel the need to plan for a divorce scenario. :noway:

It's funny you say that. I'm a traditional guy that did it the traditional way. But the lawyer in me also wants to question why a marriage is the only contract where the "divorce" and how to handle same is not spelled out up front. In every other contract in business, the eventuality of a a potential "divorce" is contemplated and negotiated in the original agreement. Commonly known as the "buyout clause".

Exactly. The idea that marriage is purely emotional is insane. "valuing tradition" is not justification for a complete lack of analytical thinking..merely rationalizing a purely emotional decision (marriage without financial analysis).

We control our own lives. That means thinking about the future, period. **** happens, be prepared.

Jellyphant

Some things are better left old fashioned. Pancakes, apple turnovers, biscuits and engagements. I asked my wife's dad for permission to court AND get engaged. I earned his respect and my wife was all about dady being the only female child her parents had. If, God forbid, I ever have a daughter, I would expect the same thing. Regardless of what generation we live in. I have to know someone will honor as I honored my wife. Oh, my wife designed and bought my wedding ring. She gave me a Nintendo Gamecube as an engagement ring.


EDIT: when I proposed to her, I had a rose in hand. I gave her the ring after she said yes.

This for me.

JennyLisT

If you've irked me enough to leave you AFTER I've agreed to marry you, you can have your ****ty ring back. :drinker:

Also, I'm not old fashioned. If you ask my dad first, I'm saying no.