Engagement rings and men

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  • halips
    halips Posts: 134 Member
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    I don't get it. Why would any girl want to keep the ring of a man she doesn't want to be with. For me it would be a constant nagging reminder. That ring evokes the promise of a future and shared love, if said promise is broken, return the ring!
  • darkling_glory
    darkling_glory Posts: 239 Member
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    If a couple can't have a mature conversation about finances, engagement and marriage (you know, spending the rest of your LIFE together), than I don't feel bad if their engagement falls through.

    Harsh? Probably.
  • _skittybang
    _skittybang Posts: 970 Member
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    Ehh.. I didn't get him anything as I wasn't expecting anything.

    You don't give gifts expecting something in return. He wanted me to have something that showed he was going to marry me and he was happy about that fact.

    He did get road head on the way home..
  • lozadee
    lozadee Posts: 89 Member
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    If your getting married why are you still thinking in the mind set of yours and mine...what point do you become an "ours"?

    if you pay the gas and she pays the tv licence does that mean one of you is warm an the other is entertained?

    If you want to do something nice for someone else - it shouldnt be about returns.

    I'm sure over the years if you add up what one does and what the other does/what one pays for and the other pays for - surely it will equate similar!

    Failing that you might want to question why your choosing to get married and how your going to fight the divorce
  • collinj8
    collinj8 Posts: 98 Member
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    Dude this is an awesome idea. I wonder if this can be retroactive. And if it can be retroactive, can it come with interest compounded? We are talking 13 years of marriage here, at we will say 1000 bucks. it would be about 1200 bucks. That would be an okay TV.
  • semeyer
    semeyer Posts: 282 Member
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    If you really want the ring back if the engagement falls through, and you did NOT propose on a holiday or a birthday or something along those lines where the ring would be considered a gift, by law you could most likely get it back.

    An engagement ring is most times viewed as a conditional gift. See below.

    CONDITIONAL GIFT:
    That means that, until some future event occurs, the gift isn't final; if that event does not occur, then the donor has the right to get the gift back.
    Women who want to keep their engagement rings often argue that the condition needed to make the engagement ring a final gift is simply the acceptance of the proposal of marriage, not the completion of the marriage ceremony. That way, if the engagement is broken, the ring remains her property.
    However, this argument often loses. The majority of courts find that the gift of an engagement ring contains an implied condition of marriage; acceptance of the proposal is not the underlying "deal." Absent some other understanding -- say, that the ring is merely a memento of a great trip to Hawaii -- most courts look at engagement rings as conditional gifts given in contemplation of marriage:

    (Taken from --> http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/returning-engagement-ring-30198.html)
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
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    Engagement rings should be made illegal. I don't want to advertise that I'm taken until I've signed the paperwork!

    So don't get one.
  • shannond1980
    shannond1980 Posts: 60 Member
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    Why should the guy just pay for the ring? I say propose pick it out and split the cost. The whole guy buying the ring is so old fashioned...just saying :tongue:

    Agreed!
  • portalm
    portalm Posts: 201 Member
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    So, I was just thinking... if you're supposed to give a girl an engagement ring, and not expect it back if it falls through to no fault of your own... You should get something too... Say.. a big screen TV, or something cool of your choosing...

    Obviously I'm making these assumptions
    a) you're not a *kitten* (well maybe you are... not the point)
    b) the guy bought her an engagement ring and it wasn't cheap
    c) stereotypical situation, man buys girl ring, girl b*tches out, keeps ring

    What say you MFP??

    Well this is a good concept and all, However Alot of things here... In an old fashion world the man buys the ring (3months salary supposdly) and then the womans father pays for the wedding or atleast the reception, there by saving the couple money over time.

    Things have changed massively in this day and age, where couples are now paying for everything cause all our parents are for the most part BROKE.

    I believe a man should by the woman her ideal engagement ring with a wedding band, as always. However I do not expect a cheap 14k white gold band in return. I want a Platinum band with a diamond in it with an antique cut. (not cheap by any sense of the word)

    So i believe if she pays for my ring, and should be well in the world as long as you split costs on the wedding.

    Besides being successful already I have most the things I would want for gifts anyway!
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
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    My now husband proposed with a Costume jewelry ring (fine with me). We ended up using a family ring of mine to make up my engagement ring (re-set) and then we split the cost of our wedding rings. and he did get a engagement present, he got ME :-D

    Yeah. And you got him. Under that logic, the ring is an erroneous gift, and if you get one, he should get something as well.
  • kateanne27
    kateanne27 Posts: 275 Member
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    You don't bean count when your in love, you give something to someone because you want to, you want to spoil or give to them. My husband gave me a beautiful ring, modestly priced but heartfelt and unique, until he found the perfect one he gave me a $5 one from clairs shaped like a big green lizard crawling around your finger. I loved that too. I gave him a set of engraved guitar pics sometime later, not because I owed it to him, or had to make up for something, because I knew he would like it and wanted him to have them.
  • Smuterella
    Smuterella Posts: 1,623 Member
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    In my experience engagements don't turn into marriages for two main reasons 1) the man chickens out and ends the relationship somehow, 2) the engagement drags on...and on...and on and the woman gets fed up and leave (an engagement is a commitment to marry - not a holding station to keep a woman interested when you have no intention to actually DO THE DEED).

    In both cases I would lay blame entirely at the chap's door. :-P
  • HauteP1nk
    HauteP1nk Posts: 2,139 Member
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    It is a gift. If a guy wants to buy the ring for the girl than that is his choice but he shouldn't expect anything back in return.

    Whatever happened to giving gifts without expecting a gift too?? Some people can be so greedy....lol

    I did get my fiance a present for the surprise, but he never expected it.....
  • tizzie_14
    tizzie_14 Posts: 72
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    You know what my husband got as his gift? Me. :)
  • Shelbert79
    Shelbert79 Posts: 517 Member
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    Why should the guy just pay for the ring? I say propose pick it out and split the cost. The whole guy buying the ring is so old fashioned...just saying :tongue:

    I like this suggestion.
  • morganhccstudent724
    morganhccstudent724 Posts: 1,261 Member
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    I think men get the short end of the stick.

    Once I get engaged, my plan is to buy him a ring or something of equal value.
  • cmpollard01
    cmpollard01 Posts: 246
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    Sadly, some do save the ring for another girl! When we split, I gave my ex-fiance the ring back-thinking it would only be temporary (that's what I get for believing what he said to me!). Yeah...6 months later, his now-wife was wearing it...AND was pregnant.

    She can have the ring and the leftovers...my life turned out MUCH better! And I'm pretty sure she has NO idea where that ring came from...
  • cestlafete
    cestlafete Posts: 71 Member
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    My fiancé gave me an heirloom ring in return for the one I bought, so we both have one. Mine's Mom's wedding ring, and I'm more than happy to wear it and tell people it's my engagement ring.
  • Easywider
    Easywider Posts: 434 Member
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    It's a horrible, rapidly depreciating, investment in a volatile and typically down trending market(ie: the female in question).

    My business/logical/rational mind says stay far away.

    She'll have to earn that one..and I'm speaking in terms of time - trails and tribulation.
  • FaugHorn
    FaugHorn Posts: 1,060 Member
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    My husband proposed with his grandmother's ring, if something had happened I would have given it back. I got my husband a nice set of cuff links for his wedding day present though.

    He didn't ask my fathers' permission (one dad one step-dad...which would he of picked? :laugh: ) but that's because I didn't belong to them. I never understood the asking dad's permission part, not like my dad is marrying the guy :bigsmile: I love my dad (and my step-dad) but I imagine if they had been asked they would have said "uh you're asking the wrong person...).

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