Guy in Ladies locker Room
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Creepy is going in and looking around when you're not supposed to be there. Creepy isn't going in to check on your daughter. What if he's a single father? He was probably just as uncomfortable being there as you were having him there. Jeeze, everyone takes things so personally.0
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Your internal sensors are correct. He is a perv.
Unfortunately for his daughter, he probably walks in her room unannounced often as well. Poor girl.
Disgusting.
This is an INSANE leap. I've gone into the men's locker rooms to check on my son (make sure he was getting dressed and not using the tap as a watergun etc etc), so that means I must be perving on him at home? Urgh.
OP, the guy probably hated being in there as much as you hated him being there. From your description it sounds like he walked in, looked around for his daughter, found her, spoke to her, they both left.
BUT, I will say this, you genuinely felt uncomfortable, so it was a good thing that you felt able to speak to the staff about it. If (and I really, really, really do mean "if"), this guy was to turn out to be a creep, the gym will have more "evidence" because of your complaint. Due to the intimidation/"they won't believe me" factor, so many people (male and female) DON'T report instances where they've felt intimidated or that something was "wrong" in that way, so it's good to know that you felt able to do so.0 -
Reminds me of a concert we went to when we
were still dating. The line for the women's bathroom
went out, around the corner. The men's room was
really short. I can't count how many women jumped
in the men's room line. Hell my wife used it! I wasn't
about to miss a half hour of the concert so she could
go "pee."
Let me guess, several men were mortified and went to get management about it. They also posted stories on various forums later about these creepy, perverted women who like to spy on little boys.
Oh wait, that would never happen.
The guy needed to talk to his daughter. Maybe her mother got hit by a car or grandma fell down the stairs. Who knows, get over it. Accusing the guy of being everything vile under the sun is a bit extreme. Maybe he was even from a family or culture that doesn't have such a big problem with the situation. Maybe you could have just asked him politely to leave because it freaked you out.0 -
Reminds me of a concert we went to when we
were still dating. The line for the women's bathroom
went out, around the corner. The men's room was
really short. I can't count how many women jumped
in the men's room line. Hell my wife used it! I wasn't
about to miss a half hour of the concert so she could
go "pee."
Let me guess, several men were mortified and went to get management about it. They also posted stories on various forums later about these creepy, perverted women who like to spy on little boys.
Oh wait, that would never happen.
The guy needed to talk to his daughter. Maybe her mother got hit by a car or grandma fell down the stairs. Who knows, get over it. Accusing the guy of being everything vile under the sun is a bit extreme. Maybe he was even from a family or culture that doesn't have such a big problem with the situation. Maybe you could have just asked him politely to leave because it freaked you out.
Seriously. Why does it have to be a personal affront?0 -
He may not be a creeper, but he does sound fairly clueless. He shouldn't be walking into a women's locker room at any time. He could easily have said to someone going in "hey, would you mind telling my daughter to come out because I need to talk to her. She's about 5'2", blond hair, wearing a blue shirt." No problem and everyone is comfortable.0
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Your instincts were absolutely spot-on right. Do you know any father who would walk into a woman's locker room to talk to his daughter? The presumption in a locker room is that people are in various stages of disrobing, including his daughter. Never mind the adults, what is he doing to his daughter?
The guy knew EXACTLY where he was and said so, no "honest mistake" was going on.
I would definitely find out who this guy is and take it to higher level management, because the regular staff will ignore you, it's too much trouble. And if upper level staff doesn't want to deal with this (they might after all lose money if he leaves) I would take it to the police.
And if you are thinking you might be raising a "fuss," think about what NOT reporting it may do, namely have it happen again and escalation of those episodes. Oh pardon me, "honest mistakes". What if there had been other children in there, and I'm sure he was hoping for that too.0 -
Your instincts were absolutely spot-on right. Do you know any father who would walk into a woman's locker room to talk to his daughter? The presumption in a locker room is that people are in various stages of disrobing, including his daughter. Never mind the adults, what is he doing to his daughter?
The guy knew EXACTLY where he was and said so, no "honest mistake" was going on.
I would definitely find out who this guy is and take it to higher level management, because the regular staff will ignore you, it's too much trouble. And if upper level staff doesn't want to deal with this (they might after all lose money if he leaves) I would take it to the police.
And if you are thinking you might be raising a "fuss," think about what NOT reporting it may do, namely have it happen again and escalation of those episodes. Oh pardon me, "honest mistakes". What if there had been other children in there, and I'm sure he was hoping for that too.
So....my dad is a pedophile or something for having taken me into the public bathroom when I was 5 and my mom wasn't around? What the hell.0 -
Sorry, if dad REALLY needed to talk to his daughter, he could've called in to her. There was no reason for him to walk into the locker room. If you have no problem with others seeing your naked body, more power to you. Sorry guys, but this isn't really something you can weigh in on too heavily. Men aren't normally sexually assaulted by women, so there's very little threat from a woman entering your locker room. She'd be wrong to do so, though. There is a VERY easy way to check on opposite sex children without entering their locker room: Ask a staff member of that gender to go check on them. How freaking hard is that? People deserve their privacy. I don't care if the guy wasn't in there to sneak a peek. It's wrong. I've had doctors and medical students looking up in clown hole, but they were given explicit permission to do so. And to the person who said for a sexual assaulted woman to get therapy: Uh, you think that really makes everything all better? What delusional planet do you live on? That type of experience can completely change a person, how they act and how they see incidents like this. Not to mention finding a good therapist that you actually feel you can trust. Where the heck is common courtesy? Compassion? When did it become totally okay for someone's privacy to be completely violated?0
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Reminds me of a concert we went to when we
were still dating. The line for the women's bathroom
went out, around the corner. The men's room was
really short. I can't count how many women jumped
in the men's room line. Hell my wife used it! I wasn't
about to miss a half hour of the concert so she could
go "pee."
Let me guess, several men were mortified and went to get management about it. They also posted stories on various forums later about these creepy, perverted women who like to spy on little boys.
Oh wait, that would never happen.
The guy needed to talk to his daughter. Maybe her mother got hit by a car or grandma fell down the stairs. Who knows, get over it. Accusing the guy of being everything vile under the sun is a bit extreme. Maybe he was even from a family or culture that doesn't have such a big problem with the situation. Maybe you could have just asked him politely to leave because it freaked you out.
Nobody cared. People just needed to take a leak.
The guys stuck to the urinals, and the women got
the stalls. It was actually pretty civil.0 -
Your instincts were absolutely spot-on right. Do you know any father who would walk into a woman's locker room to talk to his daughter? The presumption in a locker room is that people are in various stages of disrobing, including his daughter. Never mind the adults, what is he doing to his daughter?
The guy knew EXACTLY where he was and said so, no "honest mistake" was going on.
I would definitely find out who this guy is and take it to higher level management, because the regular staff will ignore you, it's too much trouble. And if upper level staff doesn't want to deal with this (they might after all lose money if he leaves) I would take it to the police.
And if you are thinking you might be raising a "fuss," think about what NOT reporting it may do, namely have it happen again and escalation of those episodes. Oh pardon me, "honest mistakes". What if there had been other children in there, and I'm sure he was hoping for that too.
So....my dad is a pedophile or something for having taken me into the public bathroom when I was 5 and my mom wasn't around? What the hell.
No, but your dad would be a perv if he just nonchalantly walked into the women's locker room with no concern for other patrons. Your dad bringing you into the men's room is different. He could protect you. This is a gym. Most gyms I know of don't allow you to have kids under 16 with you unless it's in a child care facility. And at that point, the child would have no reason to be in the locker room. This girl the OP was talking about probably wasn't a little kid that needed to go potty with only daddy around.0 -
it's not just about stigma.
it's estimated that upwards of 1/5 of women will suffer rape during their lifetime. for someone who has been through that trauma, how do you think they feel being suddenly confronted by a strange man when they're naked?
and what about muslim women, for whom being seen naked or semi-clothed by men is in serious conflict with their faith?
it has a sign on the door saying it is an area for women. women go in there with the reasonable expectation that there will only be women in there. a place where women can feel safe, can get changed without compromising their faith, can just not have the shock of some dude waltzing in.
the guy could have called through the door. he could have asked a female member of staff. he chose instead to go inside.
This.^0 -
alright I'll be the one to say it: Whatever that guy was doing, if you're creeping on me, you deserve a sight of my cellulitey tush. Hope it burns your retinas. So there. :laugh:
LOL0 -
I think the bigger issue here is not the fact that he walked into the ladies locker room, but the fact that he thinks it's okay to walk in to talk to his daughter who was (more than likely undressing)!!! Most gyms require you to be a certain age to work out. I don't care WHAT the age is-- It is NOT okay for my dad to see me naked. The only acceptable time would be toddler age while bathing. THAT is what is weird.
On another note-- if my husband knew my gym allowed men to freely walk into the womens changing area, he would put his foot down about me going there and to find another gym.0 -
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oh, yeah, and flashers are just guys whose bits get too sweaty if they wear pants.
[/quote]
Priceless!0 -
In the mens lockeroom in my gym all of the men walk around and sit in the hot tub naked (so my husband says) so I would NEVER consider walking in there to get my husband. I will call his phone 10000 times before I ever walk in there to get him because that is the mens private area to do what they want and walk "freely" in... Not mine.
So agreed, I might have been a little bothered had I walked around the corner butt naked to some dude. He might not would be, but I would have.0 -
or at the very least yelled through the door that he was coming in, just to give people the chance to cover up.He may not be a creeper, but he does sound fairly clueless. He shouldn't be walking into a women's locker room at any time. He could easily have said to someone going in "hey, would you mind telling my daughter to come out because I need to talk to her. She's about 5'2", blond hair, wearing a blue shirt." No problem and everyone is comfortable.0 -
i agree with this post right here. I also want to say the our gym does have a family locker room that the guy could have taken his daughter had he needed to be with her. She was old enough for Women's locker room. When I have my kids I do take my kids to the family locker room which has changing rooms for a family of four to fit in easily. II think the issue is more along the lines that the poster is not comfortable with this man seeing her naked. She prepared herself for a bunch of women to see her naked. It doesn't matter that he might be interested in her sexually, it is a person that she is uncomfortable with seeing her naked. We all have our own comfort boundaries, and that needs to be respected. The fact that he acknowledged he shouldn't be there makes it obvious that there is a boundary being crossed.
Since this is a gender specific area I would be unhappy, too. You can't just expect people to be okay with something because you are.
THIS0 -
Mmmhhhh.... this would have been creepy... It is clear from what you say about his statement that he was intentionally there. Maybe the person he was speaking to called him in (texted him and let him know you were dressed)? Either way, there really is no excuse.
I have a young daughter who goes to the gym as does my wife and reading about events like this one does not make me comfortable.
What did the gym staff do or say to him or to you? Were they in any way concerned about your privacy or escort the person out?
I am glad that at least you were not in your birthday suit at the time!!!
I hope no one else was.
The gym staff confronted him and gave him a warning.0 -
oh, yeah, and flashers are just guys whose bits get too sweaty if they wear pants.I can't see how he'd be considered "a creeper" when he clearly came in to talk to someone... it's not like he came in and just stood aside watching females dress.
I also can't understand why this is a big deal. You *do* realize that the heteronormative view of all males as interested in females and all females interested in males is not reality, right? He may have absolutely zero interest in seeing you naked... whereas the girl he talked to might've been "creeping" on you the whole time. Face the fact that any time you've ever changed when not completely alone someone was probably attracted to females there. If you didn't always dress in a stall, there is no reason to start just because some (possibly not straight) guy popped into the area once.
*eyeroll*
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA Genius!!!!!!!0 -
IF he needed to talk to his daughter he should have gotten a female staff member.Reminds me of a concert we went to when we
were still dating. The line for the women's bathroom
went out, around the corner. The men's room was
really short. I can't count how many women jumped
in the men's room line. Hell my wife used it! I wasn't
about to miss a half hour of the concert so she could
go "pee."
Let me guess, several men were mortified and went to get management about it. They also posted stories on various forums later about these creepy, perverted women who like to spy on little boys.
Oh wait, that would never happen.
The guy needed to talk to his daughter. Maybe her mother got hit by a car or grandma fell down the stairs. Who knows, get over it. Accusing the guy of being everything vile under the sun is a bit extreme. Maybe he was even from a family or culture that doesn't have such a big problem with the situation. Maybe you could have just asked him politely to leave because it freaked you out.0
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