Talk about a slap in the face. Motivation depleted.

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  • skirtlongjacket
    skirtlongjacket Posts: 41 Member
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    He's just not that into you. He wants to be a good guy and not break up by phone, or wants to fulfill whatever plans you two have made, but he's obviously not into it, which means you are getting a crappy deal as a girlfriend. End it!

    Edit: End the relationship, keep the healthy living. Motivation should be depleted for your relationship, not your weightloss plan.
  • PlunderBunneh
    PlunderBunneh Posts: 1,705 Member
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    Girl, you are hot. And you don't need him. And he sure as hell doesn't deserve you.
  • virginia65us
    virginia65us Posts: 106 Member
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    You are very attractive and have a figure most women would be proud of. Don't take what he says to heart. Most importantly, don't settle for someone who belittles you. Find someone who adores you and makes you feel beautiful.
  • kafergie
    kafergie Posts: 35 Member
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    He's horrible, does he think that's motivation, look how you used to and you "might" keep him interested, you don't need him. Never do something for someone else in this regard, you have to do it for you, others may motivate you, but you have to do it because you want it, not because its a dream of "theirs". Say byebye now.

    My husband constantly calls me sexy, uses the term most of the time instead of my name, even though I've had 2 kids, both c-section and it shows, LOTS of stretch marks from my first son when my 5' frame went from 130 to 172 in 10 months (lol do the math), my skin didn't like that. His only concern is that I might lose my DDD - G chest size, to which I say too bad, my dream is a D cup (don't think I will get there).

    If the guy can't be attracted to the whole you, there will always be something he picks on, that distance would sound REALLY good to me, enjoy it.:happy:
  • LisaH1967
    LisaH1967 Posts: 332 Member
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    Wow, I'd dump his stupid *kitten*.
  • CrystalT95
    CrystalT95 Posts: 2
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    My husband told me I was beautiful every day even when I was 50 pounds heavier than I am now. (I have had thyroid and other medical problems that made me gain weight.) Someone who doesn't love you as you are certainly doesn't deserve you. My hubby was only unhappy about my weight because it made me unhappy.

    Drop the baggage and let him be someone else's problem. You deserve better. Go out and find it! :)
  • GrandmaJody
    GrandmaJody Posts: 140 Member
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    Please don't give up eating better and exercising, but definetely get rid of the guy.


    This....
  • Toxictwist
    Toxictwist Posts: 274
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    Time for you to upgrade to someone who is going to treat you better :)
  • pamelak5
    pamelak5 Posts: 327 Member
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    DTMFA!
  • MaryB2
    MaryB2 Posts: 331 Member
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    What a douche....you look great!
  • shebaw79
    shebaw79 Posts: 15 Member
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    If it were me that would be the end of that relationship. If he can't love you the way you are then you shouldn't have him around after you've reached your weight loss goal. You deserve better. BTW lose the weight for you and no one else and it isn't easy just keep making those small changes to your diet and continue exercising you will get there. As for dating find someone who is supportive and loves you for all that you are and not just physical attraction. He's shallow and pathetic.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    It hurts me how much women on these boards are so eager to tell a stranger to dump the douche the first time he says what they consider the wrong thing. Hen house terrorism.
  • DMarieLVT
    DMarieLVT Posts: 71 Member
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    What a complete *kitten* hat!!! You deserve so much better than that! I would dump his *kitten* so fast he wouldn't know what hit him. Then when you reach your goal (because you WILL) I would flaunt it in his face. Take that, jackwad!
  • miss_ally08
    miss_ally08 Posts: 167 Member
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    Aww, that's not very nice. But guys say things that sometimes come out the wrong way. Did you tell him how his comment made you feel? :( I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through that - don't let what he said deplete your motivation though. Keep at it, loose weight to become healthy for you and not anyone else. He should be proud that you are doing what you are doing, its never easy to go on a diet or anything!

    I gained weight after I got into graduate school and then shortly after I got married. Now, I'm trying to loose weight and even though my husband supports it and loves me the way I am no matter what I weigh, I don't feel comfortable so this is for me, not him.

    Good luck hun!
  • Gidzmo
    Gidzmo Posts: 904 Member
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    Been on my weight-loss journey since May 25th. Almost 2 months in I am bout 6lbs lighter, the difference in inches is minimal and it's hardly noticeable. My boyfriend and I are living 5000 miles away and I am moving back to where he lives at the end of september. My goal was to be down 15-20lbs by September 25th. So about 5 lbs a month. Not too crazy of a goal huh?

    Well the BF was here at the beginning of July for 10 days. We were just on the phone and he goes "You have great features, and while I don't find myself attracted to you because of your weight, I do see potential in you and when I see old pictures of you and where you have been, I see that you can be smaller than you are"

    I am sorry, but WHAT THE EFF!! I was 17 in those pictures, and while yes I may be a few pounds on the heavy side (I am about 145lbs, ex swimmer so my legs are all muscle, and I carry my weight well.) I am busting a$s, and have been frustrated with my current plateau, but not stressing it too much.

    I'm just very upset at the moment. I work out 4-5 days a week, eat relatively healthy (the main change I have done in my diet is to cut out sugary drinks. All I drink is water, green tea and black coffee and also cut down on portion sizes) so I am hoping giving it some more time and upping the intensity of my workouts, I'll bust through this plateau.. but at the same time, what if I'm not able to lose the weight? I don't want to be with someone that no longer finds me attractive because he saw old pictures of me and now "realizes" how "hot" I can be compared to what I look like now. Sorry it's so long.

    Sounds like someone who can't accept you where you are and encourage you. I think that, no matter how much you lost, he'd think you could lose some more.
  • b_fit4life
    b_fit4life Posts: 120 Member
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    Did you hear him speak the words or was this via text/email. That could make a huge difference. Maybe he meant that your weight doesn't matter to him and it's not the object of his attraction to you. My BF can say the stupidest things sometimes and I instinctively react and get mad. Then when he explains himself better I'm a little embarassed that I didn't understand him and I basically scolded him for complimenting me (no matter how weird he chose to say it)

    Don't forget, he's a man...they all pretty much suck at communicating...but so do women :wink: Good luck!

    Edit: OK, so you heard him say it...the instances I'm referring to with my BF, we are usually sitting right next to each other or are in the same room. So even hearing him say it doesn't guarentee that you took him they way he meant it.
  • akyounkin
    akyounkin Posts: 1
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    Seriously - if this guy has issues with your appearance now, there is no future and it is his loss. Either he likes you for all of you - and especially the aspects that are NOT superficial or this relationship is so not worth your time.

    My first husband was all about appearances and my weight was a major issue in our marriage. Needless to say, 3 children and 17 years later - he decided that the fact that I was not a Barbie Doll was a problem. He had an affair and married a girl 11 years younger who is skinny as can be. Funny thing is - that is all she is - skinny.

    My second husband loves me for me - my sense of humor, my intelligence, my ambition, my compassion, my generosity and yes - even my less than perfect size 16 body.....our sex life is awesome. I had no idea that marriage could be this good.

    Take some advice from someone who has been there. Run from this man. My only hope is that at age 50 when he is bald and has a beer gut - some woman gives him the exact same line he just gave you.
  • StarvingDiva
    StarvingDiva Posts: 1,107 Member
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    Have you been dating him since you were 17? I don't get it, if he's not attracted to you how did he ever become your boyfriend. When you lose the weight, you may find that you are no longer attracted to him and his attitude.
  • wendytc
    wendytc Posts: 189 Member
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    Please don't give up eating better and exercising, but definetely get rid of the guy.

    Ditto! Do it for yourself!! He should love you for you, not an "idea" of you that you will never be able to meet. You can't be 17 again, and I am sure you probably would not want to be 17 again.

    You have heard of r"ed flags," well that is a HUGE one!!! Run and I am sure you will blast through your plateau!

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  • sarabluebell
    sarabluebell Posts: 68 Member
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    145 and he says you fat...Well I guess its true you cant fix stuipid

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