Curly hair isn't sexy?

Naomi0504

OP, I know what you mean, I notice it too. My hair is very curly, I'm mixed, so my hair is 3b/3c. It did take me a long time to love my hair though. I used to straighten (damage) it all the time.

My husband (white) prefers it curly :-) I do notice more "attention" from other men when my hair is straight. But that doesn't make me want to keep straightening it though. I'm happy with it curly.

My 3 year old son has hair just like mine, it's long, so it looks like Corbin Bleu's hair :-)
No one ever asks me if we're going to straighten it, but with my oldest daughter, everyone asked when we were gonna straighten/relax it :-/

muffintop20

I get told the complete opposite. People say to me that I look better with curly hair. My hair is in between curly and straight. You should do what YOU prefer, not what others prefer
Some people may think straight hair isn't seductive and curly is, just depends on the person!

FretheMJsmokingcannibal

Honestly, my natural hair is straight on top and curly on the bottom so I look like I have wavy hair. I got my hair permed because I love curls, I liked my hair before but I love loose curls. If I would love to have curls all around natural like my mom and sister. Be proud of your curls! Just because they aren't one person's taste, doesn't mean they aren't someone else's!

kater8er

I wasn't saying that you were pressured into it. But the idea that your hair must be controlled in some way either by braids or chemicals is a negative one. Thank goodness a lot of women are now exploring other methods.

I don't think it's negative necessarily. I think it can be negative, but in my case it's been a very positive experience, and I wish other people wouldn't judge me for that choice.

flatbellybella

I look better with straight... everyone tells me something different.
I really don't give a damn anymore. lol

paulsmisses

This has been on my mind for a while now, and I just wanted to express myself, and perhaps get some other people's opinions/thoughts on the matter.

All my life, whenever I straighten my hair, I get told it looks better. Or I should do it more often. When I look to the media, there's negative curly stereotypes everywhere, and curly hair is often representated only by wavy hair or artificially curled hair. We get told that our hair is hard work, or hear other curlies tell everyone curly hair is a nightmare. I constantly hear other curlies say they straighten their hair daily, and that they hate their curly hair.

I feel I am treated better when my hair is straightened, found to be more attractive. Taken more seriously. I am attracted to white men, and I get more looks from them when my hair is straight.

I am told my curly hair makes me look 'fun', cute, open. I am not told it makes me look sexy or seductive.

When I have seen men asked which they prefer, an overwhelming majority say they prefer straight hair, or loose curls.

I love my curls, but I am starting to feel insecure about them. Me, of all people. I sometimes crave straight hair, and I don't know why. I refuse to use any heat on my hair anymore, because the heat damaged a few curls and left them looser, even though I take very good care of my hair and flat iron to a minimum.

I do love curly hair, and I love mine. I have loads of pictures saved on my laptop of gorgeous ladies with big or long healthy curls. I feel they look sexy, and I certainly feel sexy when I have a good hair day.

But all this time, in the back of my mind, there is just this little voice reminding me that, while some people may think curly hair is nice, not many people think it's sexy. Many think it's unprofessional, or wild, or 'cute', or just plain not as attractive as straight hair. It's never going to be the ideal. It's always going to be looked down on. No-one desires it.

I'm not going to lie, it kind of burns. Why is it like this? Why can't all hair types, as long as they're healthy, be regarded as sexy?

I personally think any long, healthy hair is sexy. The emphasis is on health, for me, not curl, or lack thereof (though, I do have a special place in my heart for long frizz-free type 2c-3c hair).

Thoughts?

Any fellow curlies, how do you feel about this?

i love curls so much that i had my hair loose permed! i think it looks way nicer and my hubby loves it!

Octopies

I'm pretty tired of those hair-straightener kiosks in malls telling me that my hair should be straight, that I'll be so much more confident, so much more sexier. Even after I tell them I *like* my curly hair they don't let up! It takes everything I have to not tell them to *kitten* off because I'm happy with the way I look. Screw you, I'm already confident and I'm on my way to being sexy!
It kind of feels bad to know that people see my hair as a problem to be fixed.

RitaSantoss

I usually LOVE curly hair, like a true love affair with it. But since I got my new hair, I'm obsessed with leaving it straight.

stina0t2

My hair used to be straight to wavy, but over the last 10 years... I'm turning into Helena Bonham Carter. And I'm not complaining... much. It's at an awkward stage now... If I get it cut shorter, it'll look good. If I let it grow a little longer, it'll look good, but at barely-shoulder length, it goes OUT instead of down. :laugh:

I had the EXACT same problem. But the waves softened out a lot the longer my hair got.
Love the HBC reference. That's exactly how I describe my hair some days.

beano716

Curly hair IS sexy!!

I have curly hair, but I didn't always love it. I straightened my hair every day for about 7 years. One day I realized that I was attempting to make my hair do something it's never going to do, and 45 minutes a day is a lot of wasted time! It does take a lot of trial and error, time, and patience to find the right combination of shampoos/conditioners/styling products/techniques to make your curly hair look perfect, but once you find it, you'll never go back. Trust me!

Curly hair is beautiful - I get complimented almost daily by men and women alike.

Don't be discouraged by the "Everyone wants what they can't have" mentality. You were born with curly hair, so embrace it! Who cares if the media says that curls aren't what's "in" right now? The media also tells us that women are only attractive if they are size 0's with no curves. We all know that's not true.

Curly hair is SUPER sexy - if it's healthy (as you say, healthy hair always looks better), it will be lush, shiny, bouncy, and voluminous. It's romantic and seductive at the same time.

Regardless, being sexy is all in your head. If you think your curly hair isn't sexy, then it won't be. If you think your curls are hot, other people will agree!

BlueEyedTXmom

Just like with other things in life people have their preferences. Sometimes I yearn for silky straight hair but I do not like my hair when I straighten it. My husband loves my curls and thinks they're sexy.

CallieM15

Whatttttt curly hair IS sexy. Mine doesnt always curl right, but hell, messy hair is sexy too.

^^^^^

This girl was one of my examples from my friends list. Crazy curly hair...and drop dead gorgeous when she keeps it that way (or when she straightens it...or when she cuts it all off...you get the idea).

Aww, I just saw this... :flowerforyou: :blushing:

mfpcopine

I don't think it's negative necessarily. I think it can be negative, but in my case it's been a very positive experience, and I wish other people wouldn't judge me for that choice.

I'm not judging you for your choice, but I find it sad that you don't seem to grasp that thinking as a young teenager that you can't possibly manage your hair in its natural state IS actually quite negative. As I said, the choices were extremely limited back then. The Curly Hair books had anecdotes of white women who as girls had their curly hair chopped off without warning by their moms because their mothers couldn't deal with it. They found it very traumatic.

I'm probably quite a bit older than you. I recall how some of my little "Negro" elementary school friends would line up to comb the straight hair of the prettiest girl in the class, who of course was not Negro. But they thought combing H's silky, long hair was a privilege. I used to make all kinds of excuses for being able to draw only straight hair as a child (although this was pre-Afro, so everyone had straight hair.)

We absorb negative views very early in life. It's very important to be conscious of them and to try to change attitudes for ourselves and the next generation.

mfpcopine

I'm pretty tired of those hair-straightener kiosks in malls telling me that my hair should be straight, that I'll be so much more confident, so much more sexier. Even after I tell them I *like* my curly hair they don't let up! It takes everything I have to not tell them to *kitten* off because I'm happy with the way I look. Screw you, I'm already confident and I'm on my way to being sexy!
It kind of feels bad to know that people see my hair as a problem to be fixed.

I've heard a number of white women, some of whom were cancer survivors, lament that their formerly straight hair was now curly. You would have thought they were bald.

A couple of years ago there were stories about finding the curly hair gene and how curly hair might be eliminated in the future. The articles featured no quotes from people expressing the view that there's nothing wrong with curly hair.

kater8er

I'm not judging you for your choice, but I find it sad that you don't seem to grasp that thinking as a young teenager that you can't possibly manage your hair in its natural state IS actually quite negative. As I said, the choices were extremely limited back then. The Curly Hair books had anecdotes of white women who as girls had their curly hair chopped off without warning by their moms because their mothers couldn't deal with it. They found it very traumatic.

I'm probably quite a bit older than you. I recall how some of my little "Negro" elementary school friends would line up to comb the straight hair of the prettiest girl in the class, who of course was not Negro. But they thought combing H's silky, long hair was a privilege. I used to make all kinds of excuses for being able to draw only straight hair as a child (although this was pre-Afro, so everyone had straight hair.)

We absorb negative views very early in life. It's very important to be conscious of them and to try to change attitudes for ourselves and the next generation.

Like I said, I think it can be negative, but for me it was not negative, and I don't think that it is necessarily negative for anyone. It was based on the facts that I couldn't and didn't want to deal with my hair each morning in it's natural state. If my child one day wants a relaxer, if I think she's old enough to make that choice, than the choice is hers to make. Of course, I'll make sure she knows that it's not the only choice she has.

What I think you don't seem to grasp is that I don't have white-person straight hair envy. If I did, I would straighten my hair each day and convince myself that it's the only way I could possibly look attractive. I'd hate my hair and my heritage, when really the opposite is true. I love my hair. I love how thick it is, I love how curly it is, I love how long it is. I love how people tell me it looks "wild" or like a "lion's mane". I love how my hair makes me unique. To me, my hair is my hair and that's it. I don't have some traumatic childhood experiences attached to it. I don't see the relaxer as imprisoning me to an outdated or racially motivated standard of beauty.

When I was in college, in all my Africana lectures and seminars, I was taught that the relaxer is a symbol of white oppression and white standards of beauty. Many of the people in my class, previously happy with their hair in whatever state it was in, became convinced that having "natural" hair was the only acceptable way for a person to wear their hair and became obnoxious about it. I completely disagree with that for reasons I've said above--it's no different than hair dye, layers, controlling your length, getting braids or dreads, or any of the other choices that make your hair not "natural". African Americans have defined what's "natural" and what's acceptable, but they often fail to see that their definitions themselves of what's natural and a "black" way to wear your hair come from controlling assumptions that the community has made. "Natural" hair is beautiful, but so is relaxed hair. If one goes natural in order to feel more "black", I see that as just as bad as getting a relaxer to feel more "white". Why should one's hair matter to an entire community? Just something to think about.

Redtango76

Attention fellow Curlies! After spending a lot of time reading this thread I purchased the Curly Girl Handbook on Amazon. I liked my curly hair before . However after using the techniques in this book my hair has completely transformed from nice hair to fabulous hair! From just two days of using the suggestions in this book ! I wish I'd had this info 20 years ago! Middle school and Jr high would have been so much better! If you haven't read this book you should !

Natihilator

This ALWAYS happens to me:

*Me wearing my hair curly after years of straight*
"I love your hair, it looks soooo good! You should wear it curly more often!"

*Me straightening my hair after a few years of curly*
"You look sooo good with straight hair! You should wear it like that more often!"

And anytime I get an unsolicited compliment from a guy, it's about my curly hair, so don't believe that curls can't be sexy.

I personally think for 95% of people, their natural hair texture/curl pattern and natural color look best on them. I straighten my hair from time to time to trim it, but get bored with straight hair reeeeal quick. I've been wearing my hair naturally curly for 3 years now, I have 3b/3c curls that hit mid-back and my goal is healthy, long curly mermaid hair.

Topher1978

Curly hair is sexy. Nothing else needs to be said.

jayche

Different strokes for different folks

VelociMama

Personally, I absolutely love curls and crazy bouncy hair. I think it looks fantastic.