Adult movies vs Adult novels.
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Porn is porn. Adult movies or adult novels... it's all porn. Personally, I think it's all damaging to monogamous relationships. It makes us compare our partner to other people, it pushes the envelope as to what we find arousing and it takes our attention off pleasing our partner. It's easy to get to where you need outside visual/mental stimulation to enjoy what you're doing.0
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You're entitled to your opinion. Nobody is asking you to like porn against your will...
However its hipocracy that you get to enjoy reading dirty books but your SO can't watch porn. You can call your dirty book non-dirty or even holy bible for all I care, at the end of the day, its a dirty book
lol there guy, I never said anything about it being wrong to watch porn. I really do not care if my boyfriend watches it. I watch it occasionally too. I'm just sayin, it's nice to have an actual plot is all, and to not have to look at ugly skeezy old men. Why are the men always so much less attractive than the women? It's a damn shame, and a wasted opportunity to appeal to a broader market. Porn just isn't made with women's preferences or interests in mind. It's made almost exclusively for a male audience.
You didn't however many women do say that its wrong to watch porn and even call it cheating but go on and watch movies like magic mike or read book in question.
Yes, porn is mainly a male targetted market. But like I said before, romance novels are female marketed too. Which is why in porn they use a guy that is considerably less attractive. Guys don't want to see or think about other dude, specially not some guy who's much more attractive than them. Its just how our mind works. We don't have cheesy story line because we don't need it. Think "the notebook" and "the expendables". both catered to different genders, one had good story line, the other just had things blowing up.
However, be it sleezy by YOUR standards, we like our porn. We donot say anything about you gals reading dirty books. You're saying its apples and oranges. Well, it might the case but both apples and oranges gets the job of ending hunger so in that case, porn and novels are similar.
BTW, any woman who thinks that the dirty novels arent the same as porn is just kidding herself. It is in every way same except for the media.0 -
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The question is a red herring, because a romance novel and a porn are not the same thing. Yes they both satisfy a primal need for procreation, but they do it in very different ways.
The main stream romance novel wraps the sex act in a developing relationship. Often with a Heroic savior of some type. Acts of kindness are rewarded with unconditional love. There is always a happy ending.
On the other hand the main stream porn industry portrays a very different view of sex. Women are almost always subservient. Sex becomes an act of violence and is often reduced to the simple act of penetration. Women are plasticized and humiliated to the point where they are no longer recognizable as human.0 -
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my thesis was on pornography
and i have worked with a critical media professor, solely on that topic, for years
when people, usually women, say 'i don't understand why women have issues with it', i am honestly shocked. don't talk about what you don't know. go watch some mainstream porn, it isn't nice to women at all. even looking at the covers of pornographic films in adult video stores can be a major turn off, what with the gaping *kitten*. lol0 -
The question is a red herring, because a romance novel and a porn are not the same thing. Yes they both satisfy a primal need for procreation, but they do it in very different ways.
The main stream romance novel wraps the sex act in a developing relationship. Often with a Heroic savior of some type. Acts of kindness are rewarded with unconditional love. There is always a happy ending.
On the other hand the main stream porn industry portrays a very different view of sex. Women are almost always subservient. Sex becomes an act of violence and is often reduced to the simple act of penetration. Women are plasticized and humiliated to the point where they are no longer recognizable as human.
this0 -
my thesis was on pornography
and i have worked with a critical media professor, solely on that topic, for years
when people, usually women, say 'i don't understand why women have issues with it', i am honestly shocked. don't talk about what you don't know. go watch some mainstream porn, it isn't nice to women at all. even looking at the covers of pornographic films in adult video stores can be a major turn off, what with the gaping *kitten*. lol
I personally dont like porn myself, it drives me nuts how the chick starts screaming before she is touched, the fakeness, and the things like you stated. I was just defending my buddy, I personally think they both should compromise and stop doing both cause both are causing problems with their relationship. They both have gotten too addicted to it and has brought it to their relationship. Neither of them are right, they both are in the wrong. It wasnt wrong that she was reading them and he watched his thing until it became a problem.
What both were doing was making the other feel inadequate and thats wrong. It doesnt matter if its differnt, its still getting off by something else than each other. I just want them to both be ok and stop it. I care about them both and wish them the best.
Lust is lust. If you talked about them both to a preacher, im sure he will say both are not good. I know for a fact that not all those novels are not pure goodness either, alot of them portrays people negatively as making them cheat, lusting another man who isnt their husband, and revenge. They are not innocent either. I am not defending porn at all, i think its a horribel industry that is very violent, drugs, and they do things to women. Then again so does rap. Violence, look at the diamond industry, it still exist with the violence. This is something that could go on and on.
As for the violence and themes and storylines in porn, my goodness, it seems most woman not seems to into that rough, torture, agressive sex that is shown in porn than we are. Women have gotten freaky these days so if they are not getting it from porn then where are they getting it from? Im not into half the stuff that is shown in porn. I just dont get it.
On a funny note, this post was number 69, lol. Sorry. If it was up to me, i would rid of the iPhone, facebook, and other addictive stuff so people will talk to each other again and connect. Im too tired to write anymore. Im done.0 -
Porn is porn. Adult movies or adult novels... it's all porn. Personally, I think it's all damaging to monogamous relationships. It makes us compare our partner to other people, it pushes the envelope as to what we find arousing and it takes our attention off pleasing our partner. It's easy to get to where you need outside visual/mental stimulation to enjoy what you're doing.
Or it can help keep a relationship together. Like ours..
My OH travels with work and can spend weeks if not months away from home. The ability to release sexual tension without involving a third party is, to us, priceless. And nowadays we can sinc watch porn.
I personally prefer books to film, but different strokes for different folks. Pun intended.:laugh:
FYI: We've been married 22 years this year & are still happy. Must be doing something right.:happy:0 -
There isn't anything wrong with either and it's not addictive or problematic for many people.0
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Just for the sake of conversation: one could make an argument that porn videos literally objectify women, and promote the practice of the objectification of women; meanwhile, the objects of the imagination become subjects--a different mental process. All of which is to say that watching porn teaches people to literally look at women as objects while by definition books cannot teach you in this way.
This is way too deep fort this site lol.
Anything taking away from the desire of being with your woman/man is no good for you.
Doesn't matter if it is porn, erotic novels, video games, food, television whatever!!!
Get off the computer and get on/in your spouse !!!!0 -
I don't see the problem with either. I have watched adult movies with a previous boyfriend before things happened. We both liked it and eventually you're not even paying attention to the show on the tv. Adult novels are no different. They are just geared to women who supposedly have more of a mental way to get aroused. Me, I can get aroused more so visually than mentally but both work. I am not opposed to either as long as we have an understanding that porn won't replace our sex life.0
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both of them are distructive toward marriage. you want to have the best sex ever then focus on the beautiful gift that is before you (your spouse). the grestest thing we give to each other is our self and when hold each other up and focus on each other then all that other junk is not needed. if you make her your queen and truely treat her as a beautiful gift from God then you will not need anything else to get you going, for either one. if men where to treat their women as the only women in the world, i bet you she would rock his world
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To me there is no difference. I too do not get why women are so against porn either. Shoot I will even watch it with my man. As stated, as long as I do not get replaced by it then I am cool.
If I am reading a dirty novel - shoot let him reap the benefits from it! Works both ways!
THIS!0 -
both of them are distructive toward marriage.
Untrue.0 -
Typical female double standard in a relationship.0
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no difference it's all smut trash and general fodder for the stupid.0
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For me, I find adult movies cheesy and not at all a turn on. I end up laughing at them.
Adult novels, on the other hand, I read all the time. Yes, they are dirty, but using your imagination to put together the story is the best part. (Try the Dance series by Cris Anson.) Heck, I'm getting hot and bothered just thinking about the books. :laugh:0 -
I know that for most women, this is not the reason they are against porn/pro erotic novels, but I will say that from a strictly moral standpoint, there is a huge difference. Porn (in the form of photos or video) denegrates the participants, be they men or women. They are essentially selling their bodies, and the viewers are using them (whether paid or free) to get themselves off. With erotic literature, there are no real people involved. You're not using someone else's body for your own pleasure.
Of course, most women who are against porn don't look at this way -- they are simply insecure, but in our house this is our viewpoint. My husband has no desire to watch porn (for the above mentioned reasons), but certainly enjoys the byproduct of any erotic I may read
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There isn't any difference. Reading is just more accepted because it's not as obvious what you're reading. You can be sitting at Starbucks reading about chains, whips, and handcuffs and no one would be the wiser! Unless the cover is obvious. Adult movies are more tied in to the sleezy 24 hour video and adult novelty store so there's an automatic creep factor in there. Both are designed to get the viewer/reader hot and bothered. As long as my husband isn't ignoring my advances in exchange for Debbie Does Dallas, then I'm happy! He doesn't watch porn, but if he did I'd be happy to break out the popcorn....or honey.0
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It's the same. I personally find it hypocritical to say one is okay and one is not. I don't see a problem with either one. For me, I don't really care where my man gets his appetite so long as he's coming home for dinner...and the same for me!
^ THIS times a million. Plus some of my best ideas/techniques/skills came from watching porn or reading erotica.0 -
Typical female double standard in a relationship.
This is such a disappointing statement given the variety of responses here.0 -
i think it's insecurity on both ends. if they are insecure it doesn't matter if it's porn, novels or going to the grocery store by themselves.0
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I like adult movies. So does my boyfriend.
What's the big deal?
Some people are just jealous of everything - find someone who isn't 0 -
They're both porn. One is printed word and one is visual, but it's still porn.
Does that make it bad or wrong? Not in my mind. But it's up to the individual couple to decide if it's OK for their relationship.
I prefer the visual format though...books shake too much.0 -
My deal is that if he watches porn it makes me feel like he will be comparing me to the girls in the videos. it makes me feel like him looking at me isnt enough for him, which makes me feel like *kitten*.
Exactly what goes through my mind. As for racy fiction, it's never been my thing. I'm more into historical or horror.0 -
My deal is that if he watches porn it makes me feel like he will be comparing me to the girls in the videos. it makes me feel like him looking at me isnt enough for him, which makes me feel like *kitten*.
If you read erotic fiction he could say the same thing. He could wonder if sex with him is so bad that you have to resort to a fantasy book to turn yourself on. It's not that you aren't enough for him it's that a man likes naked women and sex period and the chances that he's sitting there and doing a mental comparison between you and the porn star is nil.0 -
I like adult movies. So does my boyfriend.
What's the big deal?
Some people are just jealous of everything - find someone who isn't
Jealous of what? :huh:0 -
Everyone is saying books leave more to the imagination and that women can imagine a man that looks similar or has similar characteristics to their S.O. Who's to say that while many men watch porn, they don't imagine it is him and his S.O?
Definately agree about Mummy Porn!0 -
no difference it's all smut trash and general fodder for the stupid.
:laugh:0
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