Is smartphones killing your relationship?

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Replies

  • sweetchildomine
    sweetchildomine Posts: 872 Member
    I opened this just to see if someone would be a grammar nazi and correct the title of this post. lol I knew someone would!! haha
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    Any man on a date with you, not paying attention to you is an idiot! :flowerforyou:

    I know this was directed at Rachael above, but I have been on plenty of dates where the woman fidgeted with her phone instead of being in the moment with me, and that annoys me to no end. :grumble:
  • placeboaddiction
    placeboaddiction Posts: 451 Member
    This is the way of technology. I'm sure people thought "I never see <persons name here> anymore because we have telephones now." or when cars were more common "It feels like <persons name here> is never home any more thanks to that gosh dang car."

    Adjust or gripe, this is how things are now.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    Convenience in general kills relationships. It used to take effort to build and maintain a relationship with someone, even a completely platonic friendship. And those relationships meant more because a person was investing time in you (and you in them).

    These days, you can be someone's "friend" by adding them on Facebook and watching their life from afar without ever actually being involved in it, aside from the occasional comment on a photo or status update. Sadly, romantic relationships are devolving into the same thing ... you've been tapping out meaningless messages to each other on your cell phones all day long, so there's no need to call or Skype or spend quality time together. The problem is that people accept this as "normal" because "the times have changed." If you're not satisfied with merely being on the receiving end of 500 text messages every day, you're just being difficult.

    Well, I still maintain that it's not the times that have changed ... it's the people.
  • RealWomenLovePitbulls
    RealWomenLovePitbulls Posts: 729 Member
    I am rarely on my phone and a lot of time don't even keep it with me. People know that and don't really expect immediate replies from me, I don't carry my phone from room to room with me or anything like that.
    My husband is ALWAYS on his phone, not playing games or anything, it's because of his job, someone is always calling or texting and I get mad about it, we can't even eat a meal without having several interruptions. He's getting better about it, at least waiting until we are done eating dinner to use it. If it's really important, they will call and leave a message, then he has to check that in case it's some sort of emergency, but most things can wait 20-30min until we finish our meal! His employees think they have to text to ***** and moan about every little thing, they used to even call at 2am and such to whine about something that def. could have waited until morning, until I said, if that phone rings after 10pm again and it's not an emergency, I will be the one answering and they WILL get the point, I guarentee they won't call late again... he was being way too nice about it
  • FuneralDiner
    FuneralDiner Posts: 438 Member
    What study? Difficult to believe.

    On the phone during sex. That is incredibly depressing.
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,749 Member
    I don't know why... but this bothers me... lol

    "Is smartphones killing your relationship?"

    Should be:

    "Are smartphones killing your relationship?"

    Sorry, Thank you, and Continue =)


    This post was harmless. Some of you people need to lighten up. Seriously!

    Not only that but he stated in the last paragraph that he noticed the error after he posted but couldn't fix it and people STILL got upset about it!
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,749 Member
    To all of you people who are "politely correcting the grammatical error in the topic", did you not read his post to the end?
    btw, I made a grammer error and wanted to change it but ut wouldn't let me so im sorry to offend the uptight prissy chicks who always feel the need to call people out. I guess they are perfect. never uses slang, never shorten words like lol, and never make mistakes. [/qute]

    See? He knew he made and error and he pointed it out so the Grammar Police keep their badges away. Apparently they have the inability to read an entire post.
  • ScatteredThoughts
    ScatteredThoughts Posts: 3,562 Member
    To all of you people who are "politely correcting the grammatical error in the topic", did you not read his post to the end?

    Actually, he added that edit after people noted the mistake.
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,749 Member
    To all of you people who are "politely correcting the grammatical error in the topic", did you not read his post to the end?

    Actually, he added that edit after people noted the mistake.

    And your point was.....?
  • g0tr00t
    g0tr00t Posts: 192 Member
    What study? Difficult to believe.

    On the phone during sex. That is incredibly depressing.

    I knew a guy that used to smoke. I didn't believe it until his girlfriend said yeah, he does, he keeps an ashtray on my back...wtf!

    Disgusting..
  • tigersword
    tigersword Posts: 8,059 Member

    P.S. I am an English teacher. It is my job to see grammatical errors and spelling errors and such. But you know what... when I'm online with others and posting on the boards, I tend to overlook such things. Truthfully, sometimes I type in mistakes on purpose because if I wrote "formally" some people would think I was a weirdo. This is not a formal paper, people. And, yeah, I use slang and acronyms. I, personally, think it's rude to read a thread/post and only answer to "correct" someone. Just my two cents on that one.
    Wait, you're an English teacher, but you're too embarrassed to use correct grammar? I'm in school to be a history teacher, I guess since this isn't a formal paper I should make sure to remember to just make up the historical facts as I go along. Wouldn't want people thinking I'm a weirdo for actually being educated or anything...

    So, George Washington freed the slaves after the Battle of Jericho by saying "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!":tongue:

    As for the original topic. No, smartphones don't kill relationships. Addictive behaviors kill relationships. Some people are addicted to their phone. Take that away, and they will just find a new addiction. That said, kids shouldn't have smartphones, because they haven't developed the necessary maturity or discipline to not be on it all the time.
  • RealWomenLovePitbulls
    RealWomenLovePitbulls Posts: 729 Member
    seems like this post turned more into an arguement over grammar than what it was originally about. I'll admit that when I read the name of the topic, I thought "hmm.. "are?" however, I don't like to hurt peoples feelings or try to make them feel bad, so I would just keep that thought to myself. I would assume that u know how it should be written and it was just a mistake (perhaps u started typing is your smartphone killing your relationship and then changed the thought after u had started typing) and either way we all can see what u were trying to say, so I don't get the point of correcting someone in front of others unless it is to make urself feel better while basically saying the other person is a caveman.
    on the other side, the girl did put a smiley to try to make it not seem insulting.
  • ScatteredThoughts
    ScatteredThoughts Posts: 3,562 Member
    To all of you people who are "politely correcting the grammatical error in the topic", did you not read his post to the end?

    Actually, he added that edit after people noted the mistake.

    And your point was.....?

    Fairly obvious? The people making comments DID read to the end of the original post, despite your question which assumed otherwise.
  • FuneralDiner
    FuneralDiner Posts: 438 Member
    What study? Difficult to believe.

    On the phone during sex. That is incredibly depressing.

    I knew a guy that used to smoke. I didn't believe it until his girlfriend said yeah, he does, he keeps an ashtray on my back...wtf!

    Disgusting..
    Hahahah that's pretty damn funny actually.

    But still disgusting.
  • Dead_Darling
    Dead_Darling Posts: 478 Member
    What study? Difficult to believe.

    On the phone during sex. That is incredibly depressing.

    I knew a guy that used to smoke. I didn't believe it until his girlfriend said yeah, he does, he keeps an ashtray on my back...wtf!

    Disgusting..

    :noway:

    I think smartphones are both good and bad for relationships. It's good for those in LDRs (like myself), but being on the phone whilst having sex? You're having a laugh!

    One of my friend's phones died over the weekend and she had to be phone less for about 4 days. She said she was shaking and being so rude throughout the whole time because her phone wasn't working...it was as if her life depended on her phone (and it's a Crackberry, so I don't understand why she was having severe withdrawal symptoms...I have a Crackberry too and can't wait for my contract to finish!)

    One day I accidentally left my phone at home and was out for the whole day. The irony of it was that my car broke down on that day >.<
  • MaryB2
    MaryB2 Posts: 331 Member
    I bet your fun to date. Im sure you probably never use slang or ever have grammatical errors. lol. The fact is I saw it and wanted to change it but it would not let me edit the title. They should fix that.

    Yes, they should change that. The fact of the matter is, I was not the only person who noticed it. Regardless, it doesn't change anything about who I am or "how it is to date me." That is a ridiculous comment and was totally unnecessary. Just because you cannot handle a polite correction on a horrific grammar choice, is very immature. There is no need to make a personal attack. Just because you can hide behind your computer does not give you the right to throw meaningless assaults around on the internet. It was a polite correction, and I assume by your reaction that you are embarrassed of it, we all make mistakes, sure, but a grown and mature adult should be able to take ownership and not take low-blow stabs at an otherwise well meaning person (that they do not know!)



    "Horrific grammar error" are you kidding me? That is awfully dramatic, and it's not really a polite correction but a pointless one. Does it make you feel that much better about yourself to go around correcting people?
  • Sharyn913
    Sharyn913 Posts: 777 Member
    I think it is all situational and varies per relationship. For me personally, I work full time and have a toddler, and family is always #1. I don't go out during the week, so it's nice to be able to just send a text to ten people a day saying you are thinking of them and hope they are having a great day. It makes staying in touch more convenient.

    There are times though I wish my hubby and I would both spend less time on our phones. It may bother me once in a while, but I'm a "pick your battles" type of chick, so I try not to gripe over little things.
  • ScatteredThoughts
    ScatteredThoughts Posts: 3,562 Member

    I think smartphones are both good and bad for relationships. It's good for those in LDRs (like myself), but being on the phone whilst having sex? You're having a laugh!

    Being able to stay connected can be a good thing. I think part of the problem is that many people expect others to stay "plugged in" just because it is possible. Similar to a previous poster's husband, I used to get all kinds of calls when I was not at work, because it was expected as part of the job - pager, cellphone, vpn at home, etc. There are some people with whom I do not want to be in constant contact.

    I enjoy what technology can do for us, but it is too easy to get sucked into spending more time with it than is healthy. I know I am guilty of this.
  • Jennloella
    Jennloella Posts: 2,286 Member
    I turn my phone off @ 6 every night, so does my husband. We turn our phones back on whenever we leave the house for the day. We are strange people that still have a land line, so if there is ever a family emergency, I can actually be called on a real house phone, not get a text. I sometimes scroll through facebook on my lunch break at work, but when I'm with my husband or my kids it's all about them. Time is precious.
  • ErinBeth7
    ErinBeth7 Posts: 1,625 Member
    btw, I made a grammer error and wanted to change it but ut wouldn't let me so im sorry to offend the uptight prissy chicks who always feel the need to call people out. I guess they are perfect. never uses slang, never shorten words like lol, and never make mistakes.

    I was going to give you answer until you said this, kind of rude. By the way, you spelled GRAMMAR wrong.
  • semeyer
    semeyer Posts: 282 Member
    I have noticed that I am becoming protective and controlling over my phone. For example, my boyfriend grabbed my phone to check the weather and I immediately ran over to ask him what he was doing. He said I had so many notifications (from MFP, coincidentally)...and I felt myself getting upset because I knew they wouldn't be on the screen once he unlocked my phone. He immediately thought I was hiding something on my phone, which I was NOT, but I also didn't want to confess I was upset because of the notifications being gone (because I knew how silly that sounded). It was definitely an eye opener for myself....I need to stop being so attached to my phone.
  • cellokitty91
    cellokitty91 Posts: 127 Member
    They can be annoying, thats for sure.
  • jenbusick
    jenbusick Posts: 528 Member
    Actually, thanks to my smartphone, Facebook, text messaging, Words with Friends, and the ability to post/send photos, I feel like I am able to stay a lot more closely connected to people I care about who are far away. I frequently text my brother in Indiana and my sister in North Carolina; it takes less time and is less intrusive than a phone call. When I send birthday gifts to my nieces and nephews, my bro and sis send me pictures and even videos of them opening their gifts. When I need a pick-me-up, a text message gets a friendly and encouraging reply. My brother and I can't EVER get together for a friendly game of Scrabble, but we play words with friends constantly, complete with trash talk ;-). My smartphone lets me tell my husband things he needs to know, even when he's in class and can't be reached directly.

    Smartphones have really enhanced my relationships with people who matter to me.
  • DaBossLady24
    DaBossLady24 Posts: 556 Member
    It's a problem for my fiance and I (but moreso me). We will be sitting on the couch watching a movie, while both of us are on our iPhones. We check Facebook, MFP and emails while out at a restaurant, in bed, eating meals... it's pretty appalling. I really need to cut back on how much time I spend online, especially as I'm online all day at work too.

    ^^ Agreed. I've been able to cut back tremendously and could probably go days without my phone, if need be. But my girlfriend and I are literally always on our phones. Hers is basically in her hand all day long and after mentioning it, it's gotten a bit better. I think after a while it just becomes an extreme habit for people to the point where it's almost like brushing hair out of your face, biting your fingernails, or just breathing.

    Sad, but true. :noway:
  • tishad58
    tishad58 Posts: 110 Member
    I don't have a smartphone- only a stupid phone. :)

    Most people drive me nuts with their phone habits.
  • kaotik26
    kaotik26 Posts: 590 Member
    I believe it. I was in the military and HAD to be attached to my phone because I never knew when they would call me. "Hey, 1SG says PT is at 0300 tomorrow" So now I dont' really pay attention to it. I notice that it's not just the phone though. I have friends on Facebook that only try to contact me through the chat, then when I miss it they get upset. I'm like "I do have a phone you know" I live a long way from all my friends now so a phone call is the best i can get, but people don't even call anymore, it's all text, PM and email and it drives me nuts. I wanna hear my friends voices!!

    I do notice too that people seem to spend a lot more time on their phone than interacting with the people around them. It's one thing if your sitting around by yourself texting or playing games, but quite another when you don't even notice your kid just fell off the monkey bars, or your friend is sitting next to you wondering why they bothered to even hang out.
  • Salamanda425
    Salamanda425 Posts: 358
    My husband is on his phone non-stop! I'm fairly certain it's glued to his fingers. We've definitely had fights over his usage of the phone!

    I do have one strict rule in my house for the people that live there and guests alike: NO CELL PHONES AT THE TABLE.

    It's for family gatherings not to be playing Fruit Ninja!
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    I do notice too that people seem to spend a lot more time on their phone than interacting with the people around them. It's one thing if your sitting around by yourself texting or playing games, but quite another when you don't even notice your kid just fell off the monkey bars, or your friend is sitting next to you wondering why they bothered to even hang out.

    This is what is really annoying to me. I don't expect a stranger at the airport to put his phone away and chat with me. I do expect my friends, family, boyfriend, etc., to put their phones away when we're at dinner or otherwise spending time together. If you've got something more important to do, go do it, and stop wasting my time.

    And it boggles my mind when people say texting makes it easier to stay in touch with people. You are texting on a PHONE! You know how phones work, right? You can actually dial a number and speak to a human being. The texting thing always makes me feel like I'm being held hostage. As much as people claim that texting is better because you don't have to respond right away, there sure seems to be a lot of people who get seriously offended if they have to wait more than 2 minutes for a response to a text.
  • roi58
    roi58 Posts: 12 Member
    How funny I saw this post. My husband was just telling me last night how much he hates my smartphone and computer. Complains we don't talk anymore because I'm always on one or the other. Hadn't really thought about it but he's right. So......... It's going to be hard but I'm going to limit myself to one hour a night when he is home. And I can't imagine being on the phone while having sex! Can't be much fun for either of you.