50 shades of grey, yo

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Replies

  • SkinnyByTammie
    SkinnyByTammie Posts: 28
    The gifs in the reviews are the BEST....I can't believe how bad these books are, but I had no expectations going in, so can't say I"m disappointed...I just wanted to be able to discuss the books since everyone I know is reading them...LOL! What a joke...not even good erotica....the reviews in the link are awesome!! And the gifs are spot on...thank you, OP :-) FINALLY something worthwhile from the books...
  • starlituniverse
    starlituniverse Posts: 6
    So...I don't want to get down on personal tastes in the case of reading, but to those of you who HAVE read the books, like them all you want, just please, for the love of god, do not say they are well written and GOOD literature. They are atrocious. I was not interested in paying money toward such a pathetic excuse for a writer, I decided to torrent the books to at least be able to honestly analyze the writing and have appropriate knowledge before condemning them.

    This being said, I am by no means a prude, but if you call poorly written smut, where even all of the analogies are awfully written, HOT, well... maybe you should pick up something by Laurell K. Hamilton. Not my style in all honesty, though the Anita Blake books were at least decently written and when it became purely an excuse to write about sex after the fifth book, the sex scenes were at least well written.

    50 Shades of Grey is one of the worst written series of our time. It was clearly written in the fashion of fanfiction. To say that I honestly can break apart almost every single sentence in the books and find some misuse of a word, run-ons, broken sentences or repetitive writing is just depressing. I never thought there could honestly be something worse than Twilight in terms of dismal writing and a sorry excuse for a plot. As much as all the Gorean tales were disgusting, at least they were better written than this pathetic attempt at writing.
  • supahstar71
    supahstar71 Posts: 926 Member
    So...I don't want to get down on personal tastes in the case of reading, but to those of you who HAVE read the books, like them all you want, just please, for the love of god, do not say they are well written and GOOD literature. They are atrocious. I was not interested in paying money toward such a pathetic excuse for a writer, I decided to torrent the books to at least be able to honestly analyze the writing and have appropriate knowledge before condemning them.

    This being said, I am by no means a prude, but if you call poorly written smut, where even all of the analogies are awfully written, HOT, well... maybe you should pick up something by Laurell K. Hamilton. Not my style in all honesty, though the Anita Blake books were at least decently written and when it became purely an excuse to write about sex after the fifth book, the sex scenes were at least well written.

    50 Shades of Grey is one of the worst written series of our time. It was clearly written in the fashion of fanfiction. To say that I honestly can break apart almost every single sentence in the books and find some misuse of a word, run-ons, broken sentences or repetitive writing is just depressing. I never thought there could honestly be something worse than Twilight in terms of dismal writing and a sorry excuse for a plot. As much as all the Gorean tales were disgusting, at least they were better written than this pathetic attempt at writing.

    What she said.
  • Jenn09870
    Jenn09870 Posts: 66 Member
    Thank you so much for posting this! Both my husband and I had so many laughs over the responses and the reviews... And the George Takei's "Oh Myyyyy" lol!
    You saved me from utter frustration, I'm a person who absolutely has to finish a book when I start, this sounds like a book I'd try to read and would end up putting it down and not reading anything for months avoiding finishing this. Also, my husband heard it talked about on the radio and was going to buy it for me... Can't thank you enough!
    This being said, I am by no means a prude, but if you call poorly written smut, where even all of the analogies are awfully written, HOT, well... maybe you should pick up something by Laurell K. Hamilton. Not my style in all honesty, though the Anita Blake books were at least decently written and when it became purely an excuse to write about sex after the fifth book, the sex scenes were at least well written.

    I think the reason people are calling this mommy porn and there are so many females liking this is they may not have had a lot of exposure to well written, descriptive sex scenes. Just my opinion. I found in this post (so much more than others) that I read the comment and just had to go back to see who wrote it...

    Haven't read it, I started Laurell K. Hamilton's books when the main character was a Necromancer, dealt with supernatural, with a side of sex added in the later books. I've even told my Aunt (who got me started on Anita Blake when I was in my teens) that Laurell K. Hamilton turned those books into an excuse to write about sex. I think the only thing not done yet has been start the books in a sex scene. There are some of them that one sex scene turns into another into another, yet I don't think I've ever thought they were the same scene over and over or on re-reading the books thought to skip the sex scenes because they were so boring and never ending.

    I'm not a prude, I have thoroughly enjoyed the reviews, the Gilbert Gottfried on you tube, and the 50 shades of Suck on tumblr. Those led me to the articles on Vulture...
    http://www.vulture.com/2012/04/fifty-shades-of-grey-the-thinking-womans-guide.html

    http://www.vulture.com/2012/05/50-worst-synonyms-in-fifty-shades-of-grey.html
    Read this one aloud to my husband... Bwahahahaa
    OMG! The quotes from the book, the words used, my husband actually said " that isn't from the book?" in disbelief.

    Thank you again!
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
    I tend to fall in love with the guys from books, so I'm still debating whether or not to buy it ..
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
    Love the review though :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    *bookmarked*
  • deads99
    deads99 Posts: 77
    50 shades are for the readers that ride the short bus
  • seal57
    seal57 Posts: 1,259 Member
    I read part of the first one. I love erotica but this is way to much for me...Definitely not into that kinda crap....
  • FluttershySweetie
    FluttershySweetie Posts: 216 Member
    Compare it to some Danielle Steel, Jackie Collins, Stephen King etc... sucks!! People need to compare it to other books from the same genre... :wink:

    I would guess that most people who dislike this book and say bad things about it, don't read Erotica books, ever. Then they go and compare them to the books you mentioned. I think in reality most people are ignorant and get the idea that it's a forbidden subject somewhere along the lines or something to read those books, just like a lot of girls are against porn. IMO. I try to keep an open mind. When I first heard it i didn't know what it was. WHen I learned that it was an Erotica book, I knew it wasn't going to be a great plot, but even then I still find it highly intriguing. Maybe it helps that I have an open mind when it comes to sexual stuff, when most people don't tend to. :\

    Lots of women are against porn because they believe it makes men behave violently and think women are just there for their enjoyment. I think that theory is bull crap; porn is just there for entertainment, and those who know the difference between right and wrong will treat others right, regardless of how many hours of porn they watch.

    Just curious though, how much erotica have you read? I have read erotica online on fanfic websites -- and guess what? Not only did these pieces have STORIES, believable characters, believable internal and social conflicts, believable interations between characters, appropriate responses/emotions (as opposed to Christian's crazy mood swings), and reasonable resolutions, but they were also ACTUALLY erotic -- unlike Fifty Shades of Boring. My guess is that this was named "mommy porn" because it's so "soft" that even a mother could handle it. In fact, it's so soft that I usually read it right before bed, and instead of doing anything exciting, it puts me right to sleep! Anyway, back to your point, porn usually does have a lousy plot and lousy acting...and it would be so much more exciting for me if it looked real. Similarly, if I'm going to READ "porn" then I have already lost the visual and aural aspect of it, and I'd like some good writing to supplement that loss.

    I have never checked out that website but I definately will now! I have read about 10-12 Erotica books so far... some have been much better and some have been much worst than 50 shades... Thanks for the website info!!
  • coopersmith99
    coopersmith99 Posts: 30 Member
    bump
  • pregmeg119
    pregmeg119 Posts: 151 Member
    I read all three only because I don't like to give up on a book and I continued to hope it would get better. I have a visual in my head of christian and the great sex but completely agree with that reviewer that the book is very misguiding suggesting that an abusive relationship -verbal or physical- is acceptable.

    ETA: Ana was very much a duplicate of Bella and I could vision her making those same stupid ticks like Kristin Stewart while saying things like "holy crap, oh man, etc."

    P.S. To anyone that did read all three books, did anyone else want to vomit while reading the last few pages for christian's popsicle statement?
  • jen_bd6
    jen_bd6 Posts: 501 Member
    Read them... I have a very open mind and knew what to expect when I got into them... I didn't expect much from the plot. I enjoyed them enough :) I will say that I have read other erotica books that were much much worse...
  • Rhonda_A
    Rhonda_A Posts: 17
    I so agree. I didn't read them for literary value.
  • kms1104
    kms1104 Posts: 110 Member
    I LOVED the first book. Second... was ok, nowhere near as good as the first. The third was even worse, but ok.

    My EXACT opinion, said to T recently to one of my friends who asked.
  • noiinteam
    noiinteam Posts: 92 Member
    When I think of 50 shades of crapbook....

    I think of this


    zwfbja.gif
    love this....
  • kms1104
    kms1104 Posts: 110 Member
    I read all three only because I don't like to give up on a book and I continued to hope it would get better. I have a visual in my head of christian and the great sex but completely agree with that reviewer that the book is very misguiding suggesting that an abusive relationship -verbal or physical- is acceptable.

    ETA: Ana was very much a duplicate of Bella and I could vision her making those same stupid ticks like Kristin Stewart while saying things like "holy crap, oh man, etc."

    P.S. To anyone that did read all three books, did anyone else want to vomit while reading the last few pages for christian's popsicle statement?

    Agree, that the relationship is completely an unhealthy relationship all around... sends out a bad message that unhealthy relationships end up happily ever after as long as the sex is good... c'mon some of my best was in some of my most unhealthy relationships. Some women are gullible enough to believe this. Also I've always been the type that refuses to be desperate over one man, no matter how much I think I "love" him, falling in love is happy, not painful..so I was annoyed by the end of book 2.

    Agree with the Ana and Bella comparison 100%...and DID want to vomit the last couple pages.
  • DietPep1978
    DietPep1978 Posts: 202
    Read them... I have a very open mind and knew what to expect when I got into them... I didn't expect much from the plot. I enjoyed them enough :) I will say that I have read other erotica books that were much much worse...

    I'm with you here. I enjoyed them but went in not expecting much. They didn't go the way I originally thought they would go. The books were along the lines of "Magic Mike", you aren't in it for the earth shattering story line. :P
  • Jonalee1977
    Jonalee1977 Posts: 415 Member
    I'm on the third one right now.

    After hearing conversations about it, I was expecting much worse. Nothing has made me think OMG and I really don't consider it "mommy porn." Personally, I've found the book to be very, uh, liberating so to speak. I've never been adventurous, but now I'm wondering what I'm missing out on.

    I think I've found a new genre of books to delve into. And I soooo want to be spanked. :devil:
  • deads99
    deads99 Posts: 77
    I want my filthy butt tickled

    MMMM MMMMMM give it to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    When I think of 50 shades of crapbook....

    I think of this


    zwfbja.gif

    Don't mess with the cat!
  • alleycat88
    alleycat88 Posts: 756 Member
    I could write a better filth novel in my sleep.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    It is an erotica... it's basically book porn... so yeah plot? sucks... but really when watching actual porn do you expect amazing acting and a super intense plot? no, well it's the same with Erotica books... Either way I'm an avid reader of Erotica and many other types of books from very well known writers and I really liked the series. Compare it to many other erotica's... it was great! Compare it to some Danielle Steel, Jackie Collins, Stephen King etc... sucks!! People need to compare it to other books from the same genre... :wink:

    I disagree. A bad book is a bad book. Just because there are a bunch of other bad books like it out there doesn't change that.
  • caslyn3
    caslyn3 Posts: 70 Member
    I read all three and loved my Mommy porn. My husband didn't mind the affect it had either. Of course, highly unrealistic, but I still was addicted to Christian....


    I do think some of the literature is poorly written, corny really, but I enjoyed/enjoying the book. I love Christian.
  • caslyn3
    caslyn3 Posts: 70 Member
    I'm on the third one right now.

    After hearing conversations about it, I was expecting much worse. Nothing has made me think OMG and I really don't consider it "mommy porn." Personally, I've found the book to be very, uh, liberating so to speak. I've never been adventurous, but now I'm wondering what I'm missing out on.

    I think I've found a new genre of books to delve into. And I soooo want to be spanked. :devil:
    '


    LOL - agreed . On the third book now. I definitely want to be spanked.. and where can I buy those silver balls ? Hahaha
  • caslyn3
    caslyn3 Posts: 70 Member
    I read all three only because I don't like to give up on a book and I continued to hope it would get better. I have a visual in my head of christian and the great sex but completely agree with that reviewer that the book is very misguiding suggesting that an abusive relationship -verbal or physical- is acceptable.

    ETA: Ana was very much a duplicate of Bella and I could vision her making those same stupid ticks like Kristin Stewart while saying things like "holy crap, oh man, etc."

    P.S. To anyone that did read all three books, did anyone else want to vomit while reading the last few pages for christian's popsicle statement?

    how funny, I was just thinking the same thing. I told my co-worker today, if they cast Kristen Stewart as Ana in the movie.. I will not watch this by all means. She completely screwed up Snow White.
  • seal57
    seal57 Posts: 1,259 Member
    I read part of the first one. I love erotica but this is way to much for me...Definitely not into that kinda crap....

    I decided to have another go at reading them after some reviews from women I know who are reading them...

    I am enjoying reading them. Almost finished the first.....
  • PattieCakes23
    PattieCakes23 Posts: 336
    I'm in the middle of the third book. I, by no means, started reading them because I thought it would be a good read. I read them for what they were.

    I dont read the steamy parts and decide that I need to find a man NOW. I read them, enjoy them for what they are, and move on.

    The repetitiveness of it gets on my nerves, and the fact that she STILL says "down there" in the third book annoys me. Grow up, and use something better to describe it.
  • PattieCakes23
    PattieCakes23 Posts: 336


    how funny, I was just thinking the same thing. I told my co-worker today, if they cast Kristen Stewart as Ana in the movie.. I will not watch this by all means. She completely screwed up Snow White.

    I absolutely HATED her as Snow White. I don't like her anyway, but making her Snow White ruined it!

    No expressions and no talent. She is a doorknob and it bothers me.
  • pudadough
    pudadough Posts: 1,271 Member
    *slow clap*

    This review very accurately sums up everything that is wrong with this book. It's not that the writing is bad, and I mean it is BAD, but Christian is a sociopath. Through and through. I could never find him sexy and women who do are idiots (yeah, I said it, come at me!) I make that Prince gif face anytime a chick I know starts talking about it...
  • SurfinBird1981
    SurfinBird1981 Posts: 517 Member
    Brilliant! :laugh:

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