Is it rude to bring your own food?

Options
13»

Replies

  • femme62209
    femme62209 Posts: 327 Member
    Options
    Totally okay. I do this all the time. It's time to stop accommodating other people. It's all about you now!
  • cheekyleonie
    cheekyleonie Posts: 140 Member
    Options
    Why don't you make a suggestion/offer to take something to help her out :-)
  • Heather_Rider
    Heather_Rider Posts: 1,159 Member
    Options
    Hi! I have been in your position before.

    I say sit down with her and simply explain that you and your family are trying to be healthier in order to live fuller lives, and this includes eating healthy well balanced meals. Ask her if she would like you to help her prepare the food so that it will fit into a healthier category and benefit all of you.

    If she gets offended, remember you don't have to go to dinner at her place. Its optional.

    THIS, but the only thing i disagree with is that your HUSBAND should be doing this. My husband makes sure that the only time we go to her house to eat, are on my cheat days.. He even goes as far as to make sure his family plans birthdays, cookouts, ect on my cheat day. Like he said.. what fun is a party if I cant enjoy it!
  • Kenzietea2
    Kenzietea2 Posts: 1,132 Member
    Options
    I would make whatever you are wanting to eat, in a large enough amount so that everyone can have some. Not only would it be a wonderful gesture, you can get away with simply trying your MIL's cooking without even having to eat an entire portion. Everyone wins :)
    Personally, if I was cooking a meal for everyone and someone brought their own food because of dietary reasons, food allergies, etc, I would not really care or be offended...but I do know some people that would be hurt/offended.
  • jtjunkie
    jtjunkie Posts: 59 Member
    Options
    My parents expect us over every Sunday to eat. They don't cater the menu to my healthy choices so more often then not if they are grilling I bring my own veggie burger. I really don't care if it is rude or not, I shouldn't have to eat unhealthy just because they choose to, and they make plenty of fun of me for having a veggie burger too.
  • magerum
    magerum Posts: 12,589 Member
    Options
    I bring my own food with me all the time. People shouldnt have a problem with your personal nutrion and fitness goals. If they do it is their issue not yours. Typically I've found only people with personal guilt about their own fitness and nutrition have problems with it.

    Dont let anyone or anything stand in the way of your personal goals.

    Oo, Oy!
  • Brandiberry77
    Brandiberry77 Posts: 49 Member
    Options
    I would say not. What sort of food does she make? Is there anything healthy that you can load your plate with and rave to her about? If you consistently praise her for the healthy options (wow this side salad is AMAZING I could eat it every day!) then she will make them again when you visit.

    She doesn't believe in brown rice, doesn't make any vegi side dishes or salads. I have brought a salad on a couple of occasions. She seemed to be ok with that.

    I know I really mis eating certain foods when I visit somewhere and they do not offer what I am used to. I have a mother who will bring her own food. Not that I cook bad but she wants to eat what she wants to eat. Eating is such a funny thing because it can be so social and personal. Though I understand and respect her there is still a negative feeling and me accepting when she does it.
    You got great advice and I hope your next time out goes better for you. Good Luck!
  • juanita106
    juanita106 Posts: 8 Member
    Options
    If I was you, I would fix a dish, say a casserole something that you could get most of your meal from and then you could just take a small amount from the things that she prepares, most people do not get offended if you bring a dish and you could always say, that you wanted to help out or was in a cooking mood! That way there is no insult involved and you were just helping out with bringing a dish!!!!
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    Options
    Totally okay. I do this all the time. It's time to stop accommodating other people. It's all about you now!
    Because you're on a diet, you no longer have to worry about being polite or offending people! It's only about you!

    Good grief people. This is not how normal people behave. If you go to someone else's home for dinner and refuse to eat the food they prepare for you it is extremely offensive. You'd never be welcome in my home again.
  • orishp
    orishp Posts: 214 Member
    Options
    I you do, bring enough for EVERYONE to try it or eat.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    This

    If it were a once in a blue moon thing, or not family, I wouldn't do it, but she is supposed to be part of your family and as such I am sure that if you explain to her what you are doing, and why you are doing it, she would understand. Maybe you'll inspire the rest of the family to eat better ;)

    I once contemplated bringing my own food to a restaurant where my girlfriends were eating, I didn't, and the chef was very sweet and acomodated my needs
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
    Options
    It's one night.....Just eat it and move on. Or don't go over there at all........It's really not that big of a deal
  • Loozin
    Loozin Posts: 91
    Options
    My 1st instant reaction was as long as she knows you're eating healthy - NO !

    But after taking a second to think about the "Family Dynamic" it may be SEEN as.

    Without trying to sound too judgemental (I'm trying to lose weight - Kettle-Black) if she is cooking unhealthy for Dinner she more than possibly is eating unhealthy in general.

    Depending on your "relationship" could you offer to cook a (healthy) dish one week or help her with Dinner?

    It would be good fir everyone to know what kind of journey you are on, for their understanding & possibly their health too.

    Good Luck,

    Loozin
  • IronmanPanda
    IronmanPanda Posts: 2,083 Member
    Options
    You should bring some of this! Everyone will love it!

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/360696-if-you-re-a-fan-of-crockpot-cheeseburgers
  • Irish_eyes75
    Irish_eyes75 Posts: 475
    Options
    Dinner with MIL EVERY WEEK???? GASP! That's the first problem - not the point, I know.

    I guess the question is how confrontational are you? If you don't give a *kitten*...bring your own food. If you don't want to start WW3 in your family then I say bring a big salad or veggie dish and fill up on that and have a small portion of what she cooks. If she comments, simply tell her that you are serious about losing weight and for you the only way to stay consistent is if you have a salad/lots of veggies with every meal so as not to over eat.
    Like or lump it MIL!

    PS. I have a MIL...who hates me....and I have brought salad and refused dessert and she still doesn't like me....and I am ok with that.
    PPS...every week???? I. Just. can't. imagine.
  • Irish_eyes75
    Irish_eyes75 Posts: 475
    Options
    It's one night.....Just eat it and move on. Or don't go over there at all........It's really not that big of a deal

    clearly you don't understand the mother in law/daughter in law dynamic! :explode:
  • miranda_mom
    miranda_mom Posts: 873 Member
    Options
    I was just at a picnic yesterday. My dear friend was the hostess and she supplied the main fare (hamburgers and hot dogs) and then we each brought a dish to share. She did have one friend who brought her own salmon burger and I thought that was great - better than the people who were going "Well I don't eat this" and "I don't eat that". I think that's ruder.
  • nenyablue
    nenyablue Posts: 11
    Options
    I think it's rude to have to pretend to like eating someone else's unhealthy cooking because they aren't willing to be supportive of your dietary needs. You aren't calling ahead and telling her to cook something just for you - that, in my opinion, is what is rude.

    That being said...

    I would call her this week and let her know your doctor has cracked the whip and told you to completely change what you eat. Tell her you're a little overwhelmed because it's going to be such a big change, and that you don't know how to handle the weekly dinner, and then ask her what she'd prefer - for you to bring something of your own, or a healthy dish to share. I would use the phrase 'my doctor said I need to completely change what I eat' and make the doctor your bad guy.

    This is how I handled it when I went on Medifast back in the day - my family still pressured me to eat their unhealthy meals, but when they saw I stuck with my plan, they got used to it. Even though I only did the fast for six months, the idea that I am eating on 'doctor's orders' persists to this day (6 years later) and no one bats an eye about me bringing my own huge salads to family dinners and avoiding trigger food.

    I always offer to bring something to share, and that seems to keep everyone happy (they all say NO, though - funny!).
  • skinnyfithealthyme
    skinnyfithealthyme Posts: 213
    Options
    My boyfriends mom made us prime rib and three mayo based salads - they were very very heavy. My solution was to load up on prime rib and take a spoonful of everything else. I spread it around my plate when she wasn't looking to make it appear as if I took more than I had. Then I ate about half of it lol at least I got my protein.
    Just watch portions, offer to bring a side dish. If she questions you tell her it's because your doctor's making you watch what you eat. I always bring a side dish because I'm lactose intolerant and layering cheese on delicious things seems to be a pretty popular thing at my family get togethers.
  • paygep
    paygep Posts: 401 Member
    Options
    I would eat before i got there and just eat a little of the food there.

    This! I would be offended if my dinner guests didn't eat my food. But I wouldn't mind if they put less on their plate.
  • thebrianmo
    thebrianmo Posts: 108
    Options
    My mother in law invites us to dinner every week. I usually make do with what she makes, but it's usually not healthy.
    Now that I am getting serious with clean eating, would it be ok to bring your own food or not?

    I probably have a very different view point on this than a lot of people, but I say take your own food. I certainly would. For me personally, I pay A LOT of money to participate in the medical weight loss program I am in and I am on a very strict 1200 calorie per day eating plan. I know what I can eat and what I absolutely cannot eat. If someone invites me to their house for dinner and doesn't bother to find out what I can and cannot eat then I either A) eat before I go, b) take my own food, or C) don't go at all.

    My health and wellness is far more important than someone allowing their feelings to be hurt because I now make healthy, positive choices about what I put in my body and they want to feed people crap.

    You're health is too important as well.

Categories